24. Ash #2
“I have a question.” Needing something to do with my hands, I adjusted my hat, letting the rush of air fall over my sweaty hair. “Do you…” fuck, just spit it out. “When I told you about…everything, did it bother you?”
Olivia stared. “Bother me? I was sad you were hurting. Is that what you mean?”
“No. I mean.” I wanted to vomit. If she said the words, it would be the final blow. “About how it all made me feel. About myself. If—if you felt the same.” I couldn’t look at her when I said it. I focused on a smudge on the mirror instead.
“Oh.” She let out a slow exhale. “Ash. No.”
When she didn’t continue, I risked a glance at her reflection. She twisted her fingers together in front of her, trying to figure out what to say.
“I thought you needed space. To process. You brought up a lot of really painful things, and it seemed like you needed to work through them all. And I thought you wanted to work it out on your own, so I gave you space. It’s how I process things. Alone.”
“…oh.” Trepidatious relief nearly knocked me down as it slowly spread.
“I’m so used to shutting down; I thought you would too. I’ll ask what you need, in the future.”
Future . It might be my new favorite f word.
Okay, maybe not.
“So, you’re okay?”
“No.” I let out a breath. “I mean, kind of. I thought—I thought you were thinking the way I did back then. And I couldn’t handle it.”
“I don’t care who you’ve been with. Or why.
I never cared about any of that. The number and reasons don’t matter.
What matters now is you and me. And I cared how it made you feel, bringing it all up.
” Setting her water bottle aside, she drew in a deep breath.
“It was clear you were upset, and I thought you needed to figure it out on your own. That’s all, I promise. ” She tightened her ponytail.
Using the hold I had on her hips, I spun her to face me, to meet my eyes, not my reflection’s.
Tangling my fingers in the ends of her high ponytail, I tugged on the strands until her head tipped back.
With one arm wrapped around her waist, I buried my face against her neck.
Three days' worth of stubble rasped audibly against her skin, but instead of flinching away, she shivered, pressing closer. A familiar scent clung to her, and I breathed it in. “I missed you.” I didn’t mean to say it, but the words tumbled out before I could stop them.
It stung to admit how much her unintentional distance hurt me.
But the ache was easier than missing her.
“I missed you, too. And now, can you please get back to being your normal, irritating self?” Her arms slid up my sides before slipping behind my back.
“You think I’m irritating, huh?” I tightened my grip on her hips, dragging my mouth up to whisper into her hair.
“Fine. I’ll be irritating.” I smiled against her ear before catching the lobe between my teeth, moving my hands to skim along the bare skin of her midriff and up—up—up to the sides of her breasts, ghosting my fingers over the fabric over nipples I knew would be taut and ready for my touch.
Then I released her and walked away.
“You—you?—”
“So eloquent, sweetheart,” I shot over my shoulder.
“Come back.”
A hint of command tinged her words, and that wouldn’t do. I’d give her what she wanted, but I’d be the one in charge. “Maybe if you ask nicely, Barnes.”
“Ash, please , come back.”
“Look at you being polite. It’s so nice to hear after you’ve been a brat.” But I turned back in her direction, anyway, nearly losing my grip on the final shreds of control. “Was that so hard?”
“Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Or maybe I have ulterior motives.”
“Such as?” My voice went deep.
“Let’s do this. Right here, right now.”
“Now?”
“Now,” she repeated.
“Fuck, Olivia, are you sure?”
“I am so sure. I got a blood test recently, in case we…” She trailed off, her eyes following as I slowly prowled back into her space. “Anyway, it was clear. And I have an IUD, so if you’re good, I’m good.”
Fuck . I blacked out for a moment. “Y—yeah. We have physicals regularly, and I’m clear, too.”
“So…”
“You’re sure?”
It was a line in the sand that, once crossed, would throw us into some new level of fuckery we would have to unravel later.
But I didn’t care. Didn’t want to unravel myself in any way I tangled with her.
All I knew was how much I wanted to let go of all the baggage and weight pulling us down. To just… be.
She said yes, and I lost my mind.
“Get on the bench. Hands and knees.”
She smirked but did as I directed, meeting my eyes again in the mirror.
Sweeping my hands up the arc of her hips, I stared in fascination as she arched into my touch.
Slowly, I dragged the tips of my fingers over her backside, down to the sensitive skin behind her knees.
Up, following the same path. Watching the muscles in her back tense.
Sliding my hands to the inside of her thighs, up again, stopping just short of her center.
Her infinitesimal push backward against my hands turned my blood to fire.
Let this be another way I got under her skin the way she’d burrowed beneath mine.
Heat engulfed my hands as I slid them between her thighs, the soft fabric of her leggings bunching beneath my touch. Reaching to cup her heated sex, my middle finger pressed the seam, feeling dampness gathering on the material.
A little huff of breath was her only response.
Ice-blue eyes met mine when I dragged my eyes back up the path my hands followed, the fire reflected there shooting straight into my veins.
Desperation, pure, horny, idiotic desperation made me press harder where her clit lay hidden.
She squirmed, but my other hand held her in place. And God, the squirming, her little sigh, it all went straight to my cock.
Fuck, I wanted her. A minuscule part of my brain not wired directly to my dick wanted to carry her to the bed. To make it all perfect and easy. But she said right here, right now.
With a tiny exhale that felt more like a declaration than it should’ve, I traced the seam of her pants back up to her waistband. Hooking my finger beneath, I tugged, meeting her eyes in the mirror.
“Can I?—”
Her nod was frantic, sending her ponytail bouncing.
“You don’t have to be quiet, Barnes. There’s no one here but you and me, and I want to hear every sound you make when I fuck you.”
White teeth flashed as she bit her lip, still not speaking. The leggings were nearly impossible to pull over her hips, but they served to keep her legs in place.
Again, I traced the line where the seam of the leggings had been, this time touching bare, soaked skin.
Then I slid two fingers through the gathering wetness and plunged them deep inside her.
The force of the movement pushed her forward, and I had to wrap my other arm around her thighs to keep her from falling off the bench.
A scowl twisted her lips in the mirror. I eased my fingers out just to shove them back in.
Harder. Audible grinding came from her molars as she gritted her teeth against the onslaught.
But the rolling of her eyes had me continuing the agony of the slow pace.
All I wanted was to sink into her, but drawing out this glacial pace and watching her face grow redder as she struggled to maintain control enthralled me until I was no longer in control. My athletic shorts were a nylon prison, and I shoved them down to free my erection.
Brushing through her slick heat left me shuddering, nearly collapsing over her on the bench.