Chapter 19
ZANE
“You look like you didn’t sleep last night,” Jax Echlin said.
“I didn’t.”
My teammate smiled from ear to ear like I’d announced I’d banged Miss America.
“The date must’ve gone better than you thought, huh?”
“You wouldn’t believe it. It was fucking magic, bro.”
“You get laid?”
I shook my head. Jax arched his eyebrows like the idea of a date being that magical without the exchange of bodily fluids was the most foreign concept on earth.
Really, I should’ve lied and said we’d enjoyed sex so hot that I nearly landed in a coma.
That would’ve made the situation much easier for reasons you’ll soon see.
“Wait a second,” he said. “You had a magical date and kept your clothes on the entire time?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“I don’t believe you, bro. Magical dates mean screwing each other’s brains out, not the emotional stuff. Get your priorities in order.”
I smiled, swept up a puck with my stick, and glided down the rink.
Had I carried the conversation on any longer, he might’ve seen fear in my eyes.
What reason would I have had to feel afraid, you ask?
Let’s start with how my date with Jakob really did go well.
Incredible, actually. No, that’s not right.
It was magical, just like I told Jax. I couldn’t have dreamed of anything quite like it.
Don’t I have the worst luck on earth?
Actually, Jakob surprised me. I felt like I could open up to him.
He didn’t say I could tell him anything in so many words, but I understood it tacitly.
He also showed a passion for hockey that I didn’t know he had.
Sure, he was playing college hockey, which meant he loved the game, but so what?
That didn’t mean as much as you would think on the relativity scale.
Passion meant something else completely.
Then there was the goodbye kiss. No, wait, it was that I didn’t push for sex, even though I totally would’ve gotten it.
I didn’t even know anymore. The fact that I could show any restraint at all spoke volumes about how much had changed between us in a flash.
And the kiss felt more intoxicating than any I’d experienced before meeting him.
Jax skated toward me, pushing the puck with his stick. He wound up and slapped the puck, rocketing it toward the net where it landed squarely. Then he propped his stick up and leaned against it.
“So, what’s this babe’s name?” he asked.
I froze and swore my throat narrowed. When I tried to speak, I couldn’t squeeze out the words. Jax had only asked me why I couldn’t hang out last night. I’d told him I was going on a date but offered no details. Now that he’d asked, I was on the hook for an answer.
“Janice,” I said.
“Janice?”
“That’s right.” I paused before saying anything more. Sometimes offering too much information dug a deeper hole. If I hung on long enough, I could wiggle out of this . . . until the next time he asked about this Janice.
“What’s the gal’s last name?” he asked.,
“Martin.”
I spat out the name before taking time to think about it. Her full name veered too close to Jakob Martin for comfort. It also showed who I really had on my brain. For all I knew, Jax noticed the similarity (he was dumb but not that dumb) and a dumbass comment was imminent.
Oh, and let’s not forget about the obligatory social media stalking of my entirely fictitious female date.
Come on, you and I both know he would do it.
He would search for her on Insta and doubtless come across at least one Janice Martin from Buffalo, New York.
Then he would ask me if it was the same girl, and I would probably say yes because I could think of nothing else.
It would also deliver me from the pickle in which I’d landed.
You know, until the web I’d created tangled itself more and more.
“Gonna go out with her again?”
“Beats me.”
“Hold on. Timeout.” He made a T with his hands. “You said you had a magical date with this girl, and implied that she felt the same way. Even though you didn’t have sex, there’s a damn good chance she’ll be sitting on your face soon enough—and you don’t know if there’ll be a Date Number Two?”
“To be honest, the idea of a second date makes me feel like I might throw up.”
Jax didn’t arch his eyebrows this time. Instead, he regarded me with a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me look.
“Excuse me,” he said, “if there’s a possibility of a second date, shouldn’t she be the one ready to heave?”
Jax’s tongue lolled out of his mouth, razzing me. I punched his shoulder, which caused zero damage owing to all the padding we both wore.
“Fuck off, would ya?” I fired a few pucks into the net.
“Gee, Zane, you’re the one who can’t think about a date with a great girl without sticking his head in the toilet.”
Because it’s not about a girl, I desperately wanted to say. Oh yeah, I could imagine how that would go over. I hated thinking that Jakob could be a great catch, even if I were all-in when it came to guys. I couldn’t deny thinking it, though.
Listening to him talk about hockey caused it. Like I said, his passion shined through. I really wanted to know him better but worried about what would happen if I didn’t stop myself.
Like, how far would we take this thing?
“It’s not what you think,” I said.
“Oh no?”
“It would be a really big step for me. I’ve never gotten involved in anything serious before.”
“Dude, it’s a second date. It’s not like you’re going to be walking down the aisle with her or anything.”
Laughter broke up his sentence.
“There’s always the potential for that, isn’t there?” I asked.
“I guess so, but I’ve never seen you move so fast with anyone like that before.”
“And how long have you known me?”
His tiny shrug told me that a few years of playing for the same hockey team had taught him everything he needed to know about me.
I realized he was right, and also that he had a very different viewpoint in this conversation. My being a lying sack of shit didn’t help matters. Worse, the more I talked, the more my chances of screwing everything up grew.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I skated toward the exit.
Jax followed me because, well, of course he did.
“I’m happy to talk about this all day long,” he said.
“Yeah, I know you are.”
We headed for the locker room and removed our skates the moment we arrived. God, that felt so freeing after a long practice. Jax’s locker was right next to mine, which meant I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried.
I removed my helmet, jersey, and pads in sync with Jax.
This usually felt like the most normal thing on earth, and I’d never paid attention to it let alone analyzed it.
When he’d removed his sweaty t-shirt, I studied the muscular body beneath.
Jax looked good. Buff. In all the various stages of undress I’d spent with him, I’d never once paid mind to his body, but so much had changed for me lately.
I needed to know whether a guy other than Jakob Martin could get me all hot and bothered.
Jax was leaner than Jakob and wiry. You’d swear to God he didn’t have an inch of fat on him.
Jakob seemed the perfect size; not too lean but not hefty either.
Screwing around with him proved he was strong as an ox even though I’d taken a dominant role.
I could probably toss Jax around like a rag doll.
When his eyes met mine, I looked away, hoping to God he wouldn’t notice me checking him out.
“If I were you, I’d chill out with this babe,” he said.
“You mean like Netflix and chill?”
He touched his fingers to his chin, considering it.
“Hey, if you can score, you should totally score,” he said. “Far be it from me to talk someone out of getting some pussy. I’m just saying you shouldn’t get into this thing too deep even if you’ve gotten into her pretty deep. You’ve got hockey to worry about.”
“I know.”
“And you’ve got the Larkin Lions to worry about, too. Jakob Martin especially.”
That struck me like a hook to the gut. Instead of mentioning the obvious thing I didn’t want to hear, he brought up a close second.
Screwing around with a Larkin Lion was one thing but taking things to another level was quite another.
Still, I felt like I couldn’t control its progress no matter how hard I tried.
When Jax stripped down to his underwear, I realized I was still studying him like I had a minute ago.
Again, he did look good. I probably wouldn’t have said no to touching him if I had the chance.
That relieved me a little. If I felt turned on by Jax, then maybe my feelings weren’t completely about Jakob.
Yeah, I was playing with fire, but I needed to consider it.
He pulled his underwear down to his ankles and stepped out of them. Jax sported a long, meaty, uncircumcised dick, in a tangle of public hair. Thank God I stopped a gasp from escaping my lips.
“Dude,” he said, “you’re acting like you’ve never seen my dick before.”
I shook my head, snapping to attention, and realized that I’d actually daydreamed while studying his cock. I hadn’t meant to be so weird, but I couldn’t explain what I’d been doing either.
“I’ve seen your dick a thousand times,” I said, “and what a fucking monster it is.”
He smiled as if the confirmation of his gargantuan cock pleased him to no end.
“I know you have. I just wonder why you chose now to stare at it.”
“I didn’t choose right now to do it. It just sort of happened that way.”
I clapped both hands over my mouth before I made any more of an ass of myself.
Jax howled with laughter.
“Oh my God, you can’t be serious,” he said.
Soon, I saw tears in his eyes, as he struggled to calm down.
“It’s all good, though,” he said, “as long as I can check out your ass.”
He slapped my backside like the meathead he was before erupting in another round of laughter.
Good thing I didn’t feel that turned on by Jax’s manhood—which is to say I hadn’t popped a boner at the sight. Somehow the idea of feeling powerfully attracted to him sounded worse than my insane lust for Jakob Martin.