Chapter 25 Zane
ZANE
“What the fuck were you doing out there?” Jax Echlin asked. “Wait, it’s really more like what the fuck weren’t you doing out there?”
Always a pompous windbag, Jax normally reserved his worst traits for others, leaving me unscathed, but there was a first time for everything.
I could have thrown him a quick and easy answer but opted not to even look at him.
After how the game ended—victory for us or not, I wasn’t in the mood for his shit.
“You know you weren’t being a team player out there, right?” he asked.
“Really?”
“Uh huh.”
“Then what was I being?”
I would’ve expected anyone with a mouth the size of Jax’s to produce a snappy answer, but he only stood there with his thumb up his ass. Good thing, too, because I totally would’ve given him the sharp side of my tongue, captain of our team or not.
Rather than further the conversation, I kept cramming equipment into my bag and prepared to hit the shower. Yeah, the game had gone way differently than I’d expected, even though it saw its share of animosity. I just felt relieved no one had been seriously hurt.
That meant Coach Mack’s plan had fallen flat on its face. I wouldn’t cry over that. If Jax asked, maybe I would give him all the candor his pea brain could handle.
As it was, I knew he wasn’t done with the topic.
“The team had a mission to accomplish tonight,” Jax said, “and—”
“And I helped reach the team’s goal. No one can say I didn’t.”
Jax’s lips parted, like he meant to interrupt me, but I wouldn’t let him.
“We won the game,” I said. “Hands down, period. We didn’t even go into overtime. Let’s not get into the team’s mission, Jax. I’ve known what it is from day one.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.”
Of course I knew it, but I would’ve rather stuck to promoting our true purpose than cave to Jax’s stupidity. Well, technically it was Coach Mack’s stupidity, but it takes an even bigger idiot to further the silliness of another.
“I think the goal here was set out pretty clearly,” he said. “I wouldn’t have been mad if you’d failed to take out Jakob Martin as long as you’d at least tried. But you didn’t try. It was like you didn’t want to hurt anyone out there.”
“I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I mean, you were scared to hurt someone.”
“I’m not scared, Jax. I just wouldn’t do it.”
Jax froze. His lips moved but no words issued forth like he hadn’t seen that one coming, and certainly not from me.
Instead of listening to his shit, I stripped out of my underwear and t-shirt, grabbed a towel, and headed to the shower.
Jax did the same. Annoyed as I was, I couldn’t help stealing a glimpse of his big dick swinging back and forth metronome-like as he walked.
I twisted the shower taps on and basked in the hot water spraying my face.
That would have to provide my postgame highlight since I certainly couldn’t count on a real celebration, at least not as far as Jax was concerned.
He wouldn’t have been happy unless someone had been carted out on a stretcher.
“You must have a lot of money, bro,” Jax said, standing under the next shower nozzle.
“What are you talking about now, Jax?”
“You left a shit ton of money on the table. Think about it. You could’ve taken a clear shot at Jakob. It was right there in front of you—more than one, actually. I know why you didn’t do it, too.”
Oh my God, I thought. He knows?
My stomach twisted and I struggled to hide my fear from Jax.
What was there to be scared of, though? I didn’t want to feel scared.
I also didn’t want to experience shame, and the only sense of it to settle over me was the fear of admitting my relationship to Jakob.
Still, if I thought Jax had gone hard on me for failing to hurt Jakob, I knew damn well I hadn’t seen anything yet.
So far, the sound of water hissing and splashing naked bodies and shower tile had provided the only answer.
I spread shower gel all over my upper body and snatched a peek at Jax doing the same.
Though part of me had grown to hate him, I couldn’t help giving in to the one thing I’d never done before meeting Jakob.
Much more of this and I would grow addicted…
or sprout a hard-on at exactly the wrong moment.
“Nothing, Zane?” he asked. “No answer?”
I shrugged, unsure what to tell him.
“By the way, what’s the deal with Jakob anyway?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
My teammate snorted like he knew bullshit when he choked on it.
“Okay, I’ll ask in a different way,” he said. “Why did he pull Levi Dunn off of you?”
“Beats me. Why don’t you ask him?”
“Because I’m asking you.”
I’d known for years that Jax Echlin was a major asshole, which didn’t seem like a big deal before because I was as much of an asshole as him. Only now, I was less of an asshole, even if I wasn’t a choirboy. Let’s say that hanging around Jakob had reduced me to only being a douche.
He kept staring at me with the obnoxious look I used to find cool but could no longer stand. God, I wanted to punch his lights out, but that only would’ve made matters worse.
“I don’t know why he did that,” I said. “I would’ve loved to get in a good shot on Levi Dunn. Matter of fact, I would’ve loved to punch Jakob Martin right in the nose. I could’ve finally taught him some manners.”
“Something you’ve had more than one opportunity to do and somehow blown it every time.”
Jax thought I was full of shit. He didn’t have to tell me in words or through body language. I didn’t believe what I’d said, which was a guarantee that neither Jax nor anyone else would be dense enough to.
Enough of this, I decided. I rinsed, twisted the taps back, and toweled off.
Jax did likewise, like he’d meant to latch onto me amoeba-like.
When we strolled back into the locker room, the rest of the team joined us, but no one was celebrating.
I’m not saying that the scene looked like a funeral, but you would think they’d be way happier after chalking up a win—especially one that’d come at the expense of the Larkin Lions.
My problems didn’t stop at the lack of celebrations, though. People kept walking past me, saying nothing, almost like I didn’t exist.
As always, Coach Mack took the floor once everyone had settled.
“That’s some fine work out there, men,” he said. “I know that most of you played your hearts out. We had an important mission in mind, and we failed at that part, even though we got the win.”
A few claps sounded in the room, and it paled in comparison to the thunderous applause that normally accompanied any high point of a victory speech. The stony look in his eyes suggested he really believed we’d failed at this ridiculous mission, just like Jax had said.
And what the hell did he mean by most of you? I might’ve been bested by Jakob Martin for what seemed like the hundred thousandth time, but I knew damn well he was talking about me. He might’ve been a hockey coach, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be passive-aggressive.
“If you’re worried about being disciplined, then let me tell you not to worry about a thing,” he said. “There won’t be any discipline coming from me.”
Now more hands clapped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It sounded like my teammates still bought into all this insanity, even after the chaos that’d erupted on the ice. Worse, I would’ve been right there with them if I hadn’t forged such a bond with Jakob.
“I don’t want any of you thinking of today as a failure,” he continued. “I certainly don’t want you thinking it was your last chance. We’ll be playing those assholes again soon enough.”
No applause this time (thank God), but spirited voices echoed through the room. A lot of what I heard sounded like gobbledygook, but I could translate some of the muttering. In a nutshell, everyone looked forward to another opportunity to put a hurt on the Larkin Lions.
Everyone except for me, that is.
“Now, I want everyone to take a day off and enjoy the win,” he said. “You guys deserve it.”
That brought the applause back. The clusters of players and assistant coaches then dispersed happy.
The fact that Coach Mack didn’t once look in my direction wasn’t lost on me.
After all, he’d placed the bounty on the table and had declared me the logical player to nail Jakob Martin in the first place.
And I’d let him down. Any hockey player who’d ever taken the ice for Coach Mack knows that the man didn’t accept let downs. He also didn’t accept anyone refusing to carry out his orders. Only I hadn’t refused anything, not directly. Did failing to do something awful constitute refusal?
Part of me wanted to stop a few teammates and explain the situation to them but say nothing about Jakob and me.
I wanted to believe they were good, decent people, and that they would understand that we’d been asked to take an uncivilized action against the Larkin Lions.
Violence was part of the game, sure, but one should never seek it out.
Doubtless, they would ask me why Jakob had pulled Levi Dunn off of me, and I would have no answer.
Like I’ve said, I didn’t even know the reason.
I did understand that the consequences of my relationship with him were beginning to flower.
Honest to God, I knew something bad technically could happen, but I didn’t really believe it would.
Think of it like knowing you could have a house fire like anyone else, but you doubt it will happen to you until you see your house engulfed in flames.
I’d crossed the point of no return. The craziest part was that I had no desire to look back anyway.
The next day, I received word from NCAA that I would receive a three-game suspension for my involvement in that little scrum.
I guess that was what Coach Mack had meant when he said there would be no discipline coming from him.
I didn’t give a shit. That would allow sorely needed time away from the Remington Riptides.
But for the first time ever, hockey wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.