Chapter 13
Sebastian
The lake house brought me a special kind of peace that was impossible to replicate.
Not even standing inside DuLane Arena had the same effect.
Bill had bought the property a year after he’d married my mom.
I could still remember the first time we’d pulled down the long wooded drive, patches of sun poking down from the sky after two weeks of nonstop rain.
Even though my dad had never been here, I could feel him with us when we were out on the lake after a long day of fishing, or standing around the bonfire cooking pudgy pies at the end of the night.
I never felt more like myself than I did sitting on the dock at the break of dawn, watching the sun’s reflection slowly creep across the glass-like water.
“Are you ready to go?”
I blinked and glanced away from the lake, eyes shifting to the person standing beside me on the back deck—square jaw, brown eyes, black hair: Bryce.
“Ready.”
It was a complete lie.
I did one more pass through the house to ensure the lights were turned off and the security system was set.
Bryce followed me out the front door toward the only remaining vehicle parked along the twisting driveway.
Everyone had left hours ago, but I wasn’t ready to leave. I never was when it came to this place.
“Should I be worried about the team dynamic?” Bryce squeezed his large frame into the driver’s seat and started the car.
“No,” I said, contemplating the events of last night. “I just got carried away.”
After taking a shower to wash off the lake (and avoid hypothermia), I’d stumbled into bed and spent the early hours of the morning staring at the ceiling fan.
Learning that Grace and I shared a mutual attraction, that she too was struggling to resist this strange connection between us, came as a relief, but the more I thought about it, the more that relief shifted into concern.
I’d never wanted her close to begin with because I knew she had the power to pull my focus from hockey.
Now, there was no avoiding the girl. And to make matters worse, I knew that she felt something for me, even after everything that had transpired between us.
“You want to tell me what happened last night?”
“Not re—”
“No more bullshit, Evans. No more snapping at me when I ask how things are going. Be honest with me for one fucking second.”
I dropped my head into my hands, letting out a long sigh. It was so much easier to keep to myself. Speaking the words out loud made it real.
“I kissed Grace.”
Bryce didn’t say anything. He was waiting for me to say more.
“It feels wrong to be fixated on another girl—one who’s proven she can’t be trusted—when I just got out of a two-year relationship with Kate.”
“Feeling guilty is normal,” said Bryce, “but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong. Don’t let that stop you from pursuing whatever or whoever you want.”
“That’s the thing, Bryce. The only thing I should want to focus on is hockey. Grace is one massive fucking disturbance to my equilibrium. I’m out of control when she’s around.”
I was scared that she had the power to make me forget about hockey altogether.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “I want her, and I fucking hate that I want her at the same time.”
“Have you ever considered that your feelings for her could be a good thing?” Bryce asked.
The last time I’d let someone into my heart, they’d crept onto the ice during the most important moment of my career.
And then I spent the next year resenting her, even though it wasn’t really her fault.
To this day, I still thought about a reality where Kate and I had never gotten together.
Would things be different? Would I already be playing for Detroit?
No, letting Grace in would be a mistake. Right?
“It doesn’t even matter,” I said, shaking my head. “Grace might be attracted to me, but she hates me all the same. She pushed me into the fucking lake last night.”
Bryce’s booming laugh filled the car. “You and Grace are like different sides of the same coin. She might get under your skin, but that’s what you like about her. And I’m pretty sure that’s what she likes about you . . . among other things.”
“She didn’t have to push me into the lake,” I muttered. “All she had to do was pull away.”
“And what does that tell you?”
“Oh, I don’t know. That she hates my guts and wanted to see me drown?”
“It could be that,” he said, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel, “or maybe she’s just as scared as you are about how she feels.”
That was not a possibility I was ready to consider.
Thankfully, the exit for Clearwater appeared in the distance, a reminder that we were meeting my mom and stepdad for a late lunch.
Seeing my family would be a welcome distraction.
They were visiting for my birthday, even though the drive from Illinois was well over four hours.
When I’d told my mom that Bryce and I would be heading back from the lake house together, she’d insisted he join.
Bryce took the Clearwater exit and turned left toward the Belle Bistro. We pulled into an almost empty parking lot a few minutes later. Bill’s Cadillac was parked in a spot at the front.
“Happy birthday, my love!”
My mother was upon me the moment we entered the establishment. The bell on the door was still ringing as she pulled me into her arms and crushed me against her with the strength of a person three times her size.
“How was the drive?” I asked, pulling away to inspect her. She was wearing a blue and green Dallard hockey sweatshirt that brought out the color in her eyes.
“Long as always, but we stopped at this really good cheese place on the way. And Bryce, it’s so good to see you!” As she descended on him, I turned my attention to Bill.
My stepfather was wearing a sweatshirt to match my mom’s, though he’d paired it with a long-sleeved turtleneck and a nice pair of slacks. Bill wasn’t the best at doing casual, but I appreciated the effort.
“Good to see you, Sebastian,” he said, clapping a hand over my shoulder in greeting.
“You too, Bill.”
The hostess ushered us to a table in front of a large window that overlooked the parking lot. She went to get a round of water before taking our orders.
“Are you guys staying at the lake house?” I asked.
Mom nodded. “We’ll get to see just how well you cleaned up.”
“Hopefully nothing is damaged beyond recognition,” Bill teased.
We fell into an easy chatter, jumping from one topic to the next until my mom mentioned the upcoming holiday. “Bryce, will you be joining us for Thanksgiving this year?”
It was hard for Bryce to get home on short breaks given the distance to Miami. For the last few years, he’d spent Thanksgiving with our family in Illinois.
“We can’t come this year, Mom. Our scheduled is packed, so the coaches are hosting a team Thanksgiving.”
“That’s too bad,” she said with a frown. “Maybe I can send you a pie in the mail.”
Bryce and I met each other’s eyes from across the table with a smirk.
That would be a new one. My mom had a history of sending us care packages throughout the year.
Sometimes, we’d come home to find a massive box packed full of non-perishables, toilet paper, and other essential items. I couldn’t remember the last time any of us had bought toothpaste.
“Anyway, this is for you.” Mom placed a birthday bag on the table in front of me.
She nodded at me as if to say, Go ahead and open it, and I pulled the tissue paper.
There was a flash of faded blue material, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
Slowly, I reached inside and dragged my fingers across the familiar pilled fabric.
My dad had worn his Toronto Maple Leafs crew neck religiously.
Sometimes, he’d go five days in a row without taking the damn thing off.
Slowly, I lifted the relic to my nose, desperate to find if it still smelled of him.
An infinitesimal trace of his scent clung to the material.
I clutched the crew neck to my chest and breathed in a hint of cedar.
For just a moment, he was here in the restaurant, wishing me a happy birthday in person.
“He would have wanted you to have it,” Mom said, her eyes shining with tears. “You always begged him to let you wear that ratty old thing.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said, voice strained, blinking back tears I refused to shed.
The sweatshirt was stained, a relic from the past, one that had seen better days. But it was a reminder of why I was here and what I was doing all of this for. Hockey was how I honored his memory. It was all I had left of him.
>> <<
Grace
I woke with a gasp on my lips, my body trembling.
As the world came into focus, I realized there was a body shifting beside me, unintelligible words drifting from beneath the blanket.
Sam’s messy curls appeared a moment later.
The sight of her face was all it took to trigger a sudden onslaught of word vomit.
“I kissed Sebastian last night.”
She blinked away the sleep in her eyes as a yawn escaped her mouth. I gave her some time to digest my words, but there was no immediate response of shock that I’d been expecting. “This is the part where you’re supposed to say, ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’”
“The only thing wrong with you is that you haven’t been laid in months.” She looked me up and down with a shake of her head. “If someone that hot nearly ripped off his friend’s head for touching me, I would fall straight onto his dick.”
“Are you forgetting how awful he was to me when the school year started?” I reminded her. “Sebastian hid rotting meat inside our training facility.”
“You won in the end, right? And you got your revenge. Don’t you think it’s time to turn over a new leaf or whatever?”