Chapter 17 #3
Again and again she took me into her tight mouth, my tip nudging the back of her throat with each thrust. I closed my eyes and tried to picture something mundane to keep this going, but the heat of her lips and the pressure of her fist around my cock was too much.
A zing of pleasure shot down my spine, and I tried to pull Grace off, but she resisted, taking me deeper into her throat.
I came with a loud groan, hips snapping off the bed as I thrust into her mouth.
“This was supposed to be about you,” I finally said once I was able to catch my breath.
“It’s about us,” she responded, leaning down to brush a soft kiss against my lips, “and I had to remind you that I’m good with my mouth as well.”
“Feel free to remind me whenever you want.”
Grace chuckled as she reached for her discarded clothes and began to dress. I knew what was coming next. She was going to leave, and as much as I wanted to ask her to stay, I refused. Not after her insistence that we keep things casual. Grace wasn’t ready to trust me. She needed more time.
“Are you okay?” I asked, unable to help myself. I had to know if she was already regretting her decision. The last time we’d slept together, Grace had fled the scene before I was fully dressed.
“I’m better than okay,” she insisted, squeezing my hand in assurance.
I forced myself to remain cool, calm, and collected despite the growing turmoil inside me. Grace could make the decision to end this at any time, but I was already well into the deep end. Now that I’d had another taste of Grace, there was no going back.
>> <<
Grace
Sebastian insisted on walking me home. Though the sidewalks were hard to traverse, the roads had been plowed serval times over.
We didn’t speak the whole way. A calm had settled over campus in the wake of the storm, and neither of us seemed eager to break through the peaceful quiet.
After a lingering kiss along the side of my neck, Sebastian said goodbye.
A giddy smile curved my lips as I stumbled up the stairs, blissfully ignorant of the interrogation awaiting me.
With a nudge of my hip, I pushed open the door and stepped into the apartment.
A deafening silence greeted my ears. Caroline and Lydia were perched on the couch, the former watching me with a wary expression as I slipped off my winter gear and eased myself into the living room. The examination began almost at once.
“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Caroline sang in greeting.
And just like that, my post-sex euphoria evaporated.
“I wonder,” she continued, “have you and Sebastian been canoodling since the night of his birthday, or has this been going on for longer?”
Lydia shook her head, evidently embarrassed by her best friend’s dramatics.
“Did you just use the word canoodle?” I couldn’t help myself, and I was desperate to ease some of the tension ladening the room.
“You do not get to avoid my question! And yes, I used the word canoodle. I could have asked how long you’ve been having dirty sex—”
“Okay,” Lydia said, interrupting Caroline’s clear attempt at role-playing her future career as a litigator. “Let’s have a grown-up conversation about this. Grace, that begins with you telling us about Sebastian.”
This was so not how I’d wanted to end my night.
Not only had I endured an hour-long motivational talk from Sam on the drive back to school, but I was emotionally exhausted from being vulnerable with Sebastian and physically exhausted from everything that came after.
The only thing that sounded better than sleep was a long, hot bath paired with a podcast.
“You can start by telling me what happened at Sebastian’s birthday party,” Caroline prompted, as if she could sense an excuse was about to fly out of my mouth.
“We kissed. And then I pushed him into the lake.”
“So that’s why he was wet,” Lydia mused at the same time as Caroline asked, “That’s all? I need more details. How was the kiss? Why did you push him in the lake?”
I had a feeling it was going to be a while until I got to bed.
“You can trust us. You know that, right?” Lydia’s voice was soft, as if she were trying to convey the sincerity behind her words.
I did trust them—as least, I wanted to—but I wasn’t used to talking about this stuff with anyone other than Sam.
I’d never been close with my roommate in Boston.
She was my biggest competition on the team, which meant we were always pitted against one another, and when our coach moved me to the first line, things only got worse.
Matt had a reputation as a player back then, and my roommate made it known that I was just another puck bunny on his roster.
I was accustomed to people judging me for who I associated with.
Growing up, everyone had treated me differently when they found out my mom was in a mental facility.
No one had wanted to be friends with the girl whose mother was “insane.” Sam was the only friend who'd stuck by my side after the news spread.
“I was worried you might judge me for wanting him after everything that happened at the start of the season,” I admitted, forcing words out despite my every instinct.
“And then I convinced myself that sleeping with him was a mistake, one that would never happen again, so it didn’t make sense to tell anyone.
I’m sorry. I know I should have said something, but I was so confused about my own feelings. ”
“I’m not mad, I just wish you would have been honest with me,” Caroline said.
“And it’s not like we couldn’t tell there was tension. You guys have been eye-fucking each other at lunch for weeks,” Lydia added.
I shook my head in embarrassment. “I’m an idiot, and I’m not good at opening up.
It takes me a while to feel comfortable enough to share the more private parts of my life, and everyone usually gives up before I get there.
” Another thought struck me less than a second later. “Wait, how did you guys find out?”
Lydia visibly shuddered as she said, “I heard you two at it in the women’s locker room.”
Oh. My. God. Nothing could stop the rush of humiliation that doused my entire body in heat. I was seconds away from bursting into flames.
“I don’t even know what to say.” I stared down at my hands as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. “I’m mortified that you overheard us.”
“Oh, me too. I can’t un-hear Sebastian calling you ‘good girl.’”
Caroline let out a shriek of laughter. They were never going to let me live this down.
“I never would have guessed you’d be shy talking about sex,” Caroline said. “How was it? If you had to compare to past guys, what would you rate it out of ten?”
I was so not cut out for this conversation, and I’d already pushed myself past my normal limits of sharing by tenfold.
Nonetheless, I knew how relentless Caroline could be.
“There’s only one past guy,” I admitted, and her mouth fell open as she glanced at Lydia like I’d just shared the juiciest piece of gossip.
“Just Matt?” she asked with an incredulous stare.
I nodded.
“Is he also a hockey-playing enemies-to-lovers type?”
Exasperated, I looked to Lydia for help. At times, she was the only one with the power to talk sense into Caroline, and right now, I was desperate for a reprieve. Her brow quirked in amusement, as if to say, This is your own fault.
I glanced back at Caroline and let out a long sigh. “He’s a hockey player, yes. But we were friends before we started seeing each other.” If I were honest, the only thing that Sebastian and Matt had in common was their love for hockey. Outside of that, they were pretty much opposite.
“Are you and Sebastian dating?”
Ugh. Was this ever going to end?
“We’re just sleeping together, it’s nothing serious,” I said, then quickly added, “I can’t handle more than that at the moment.”
“Okay, so how was the sex? Did he make you—”
“Please stop, this is going to make my brain explode,” I pleaded.
Lydia finally came to my rescue, shooting Caroline a warning look. The blond simply shrugged and asked, “Why are you so scared to talk about him? Or anything related to your feelings, for that matter?”
“Are you my therapist now?” I bit back, my temper rising.
“She would be a terrible therapist, she has no boundaries,” Lydia quipped.
“You’re a psychology major, Grace.” Caroline laughed. “You literally study the mind. Keeping things in is—”
“Bad, I know,” I cut in. “My mom, who is severely bipolar, went into a manic episode and ended up accosting someone at the grocery store when I was a kid. None of the girls at school wanted to hang out with me after that. Their moms didn’t want them around someone with an unstable parent.
And then, two weeks after being released from her in-patient hospital treatment, she decided that being a mother wasn’t her thing.
So yes, I have a hard time trusting people.
That’s a potential side effect of being abandoned. ”
The resulting silence spoke volumes. Caroline’s bright eyes were wide as saucers.
After several long moments of solid discomfort, Lydia leapt to her feet and pulled me into a crushing hug.
“Did that feel good to get off your chest?” she asked as she pulled away, looking over me like a proud parent picking up her kid after their first day of kindergarten.
“I think so,” I said, feeling like a tiny weight had been lifted off my shoulders. “If nothing else, it was worth it to see Caroline’s face.”
“Maybe this is a good moment to admit that I can be a little overbearing at times,” Caroline confessed, stepping in front of Lydia and wrapping her arms around me. “I’m sorry for pushing.”
“It’s okay. I needed the shove.”