9. Anya
Chapter 9
I t's been a day since the email, and I'm finding it hard to gather the will to leave my nest. I know I need to eat, drink water, and work, but the flashbacks won't stop. Not even when I sleep. It doesn't matter that I know, in the back of my mind, they're in prison and can't hurt me.
Our Alphas would keep us safe. Go to them.
I wish I could block out my inner omega. She doesn't get it. Doesn't get how hard it is to even comprehend letting someone, let alone three people, in.
A soft knock sounds at the front door. Sitting upright, my heart hammers. I'm not expecting anyone, and that's not the Landlord's knock.
It could be our Alphas, coming to comfort us.
Hope rises within me, and I squash it down. Why would they do that? They barely know me. Even if they figured it out, that doesn't mean anything has to happen between us.
Another soft knock. "Anya, it's me."
Leo's voice carries through the small apartment, and my omega takes hold of the reins. It's close to my heat, and that means she's close to the surface. Once it starts, I'll only have my suppressants to give me some semblance of control.
With how she's been acting the last few days, I'm scared of what will happen. What if she's able to take over and break through the locks I'll have in place? There will be no stopping her from letting them in or going to them. If she begs them for help, then it will all be over, and I will once again be at the mercy of a pack of alphas.
Even as my feet carry me forward to the door, I regain control before she can undo the lock and let him in. I look through the peephole to find Leo on the other side, standing back from the door. He's a good distance away from it.
I wish I could yell through the door and ask him what he needs.
With the chain still in place, not that it could stop an angry alpha for shit, I crack open the door and peek out.
His blue eyes meet mine, and he grins like a kid who's been told they're going to Disney World.
"Hey. Just wanted to check on you, and my pack and I wanted to give you these."
He motions to the floor, and I glance down to see a vase of flowers and a bag next to it.
"We got you some food but weren't sure if you eat meat, so we got you a veggie option as well. You don't have to eat them if you don't want to or do anything in return. We just want to make sure you're okay. I'll head upstairs now."
Before I can sign anything in return, he turns and jogs up the stairs next to my door. I hear their door click shut. I glance around the small area that makes up the lobby of the building. There's nowhere for anyone to hide, so they are not planning to jump me if I open the door all the way.
Bring in our gifts, our alphas are caring for us!
The urge to see what they got for me to eat is strong, and the flowers are gorgeous. Unchaining the door, I open it fully and grab the items quickly before I close and lock it again, putting my two deadbolts back in place.
I carry them over to the counter and smell the assortment of colorful flowers. I like that they didn't get me just roses, but the full rainbow. The bag of food smells good, too. I untie the knot and open it up.
On top of the two takeout containers are three envelopes. Each one has my name in a different scrawl. I take the top one and open it.
Pulling out the letter, my heart picks up its beat again as my eyes travel across the page. The penmanship isn't the best, but it's still legible.
Dear Anya,
We didn't formally get to meet today, but my name is Maverick Gregor. I'm the pack leader of your upstairs neighbors.
We're aware that we're scent-matched with you, but I want to let you know that we don't expect anything. The ball is in your court. If you want to see where this can go, we're open to it, and if you want nothing to do with us, then we'll respect that as well.
I thought I would tell you a bit about myself and then ask you some questions. My number will be at the bottom of this letter if you want to text me, and we can get to know each other better. If you want to, that is. By no means do you have to.
Jeez, I'm really not good at writing things out, so hopefully, you don't hold that against me. Anyway, I'm 27 about to be 28. I was born in Kansas, but we moved around when I was a kid. My parents were a bit eccentric and always needed to be starting over somewhere new.
Long story short, I ended up with an aunt who let me stay with her so I could finish out high school in one place and actually make some friends. That town was where I found hockey and my pack mates. We've been turning this into a career for years, and we're making a name for ourselves. Perhaps you could check out a game if you're interested.
Sorry, I don't mean to keep suggesting things. I've thought about starting over, but I think being authentic is the best way to go about this. Hockey is just a big part of me. What is your passion in life?
Well, there's a short introduction to me. If you would like to keep talking, without it having to be in-person, here is my number...
Sincerely,
Mav
A smile pulls at my lips for the first time in a while. His awkwardness is palatable through the page, but it's oddly endearing. They're making an effort to get to know me without forcing me to be around them, and that makes me feel safer than I have in a long time.
Setting his aside, I open the next one. The cursive is surprisingly elegant.
Anya,
We met the other night. This is Jenson. I hope you're well. I've never been good at writing out my thoughts. I'm better at speaking, but I also know that taking things slowly is important for us both. I've never met anyone that I want to get to know as much as I want to get to know you.
Leo says I should tell you a bit about myself, and then we can go from here. So, you know my name. I'm 26. How old are you? I grew up in Baltimore but moved here when I was a teen and joined the junior hockey league, where I met the two knuckleheads that make up our pack. Sometimes we can get rowdy, especially after a good game. So if we're ever too noisy, don't hesitate to send us a text telling us to shut the hell up. It won't bother us, I swear.
So you like to smoke. Is it a casual thing or something you do daily? If it weren't for the fact that I like to keep my head as sharp as possible during hockey season, I would probably smoke daily. I get it, it makes everything feel less heavy. But it can also get in the way of life if done too much.
I don't know ASL like the other two, but I've started learning. If you don't mind being a practice buddy, I would be down. I want us to talk without you feeling like you have to write everything out.
Here is my number if you want to chat...
Peace,
Jenson
The last letter is in my hands before I can even think about taking it out. I find myself wanting to text them and answer their questions. But I want to see what Leo said as well.
Dear Anya,
I want you to know that no matter what, you will always have us there for you, even if it's from a distance. All you would have to do is ask for something, and my pack mates and I will do everything in our power to make sure it happens. Even if it's sitting outside your door so that you can feel safe enough to go to sleep at night. And it's not contingent on whether you want to bond with us or not.
You'll always have friends.
So here's a bit about me. I'm 27 and play hockey for the Maten Iron Wolves. If you know hockey, then you'll know we're not the best team, but we're going to change that this year by winning the Alpha Cup. I just know it will happen. I've been playing hockey for as long as I can remember. My dads had me in skates as soon as I could walk. I'm probably the only one of my pack that has had alpha parents and knows the dynamics of what it's like to care for an omega.
I want you to know that if you choose us, your needs will always be taken care of, and if we don't have it now, we'll get it and keep it in the future.
I'm always open to talk. What is something you love doing but don't get to do as much as you like? Here is my number again...
I hope you're well.
Leo
I lean against my kitchen counter as I read the letter again. Taking in where he says they'll be there for me, even if I don't bond with them. I swallow hard as a bit of guilt sets in. The fact that they aren't forcing themselves into my place. They could, by law, if they could prove that we're compatible; from what I hear, it's done through a DNA comparison test, but that could be a myth for all I know.
They aren't being brutes, something I wish I could've dealt with when I was a teenager. Putting the letter down, I look at the food. It smells super good, like something I haven't had in a while, but I like it.
The first container has Veg & Fry written on the top, and the next one has Chick & Fry . Then it hits me, they got me wings. I love wings!
I can't help but dance for a second. I've never had veggie wings, but I'm interested in trying it. At the bottom of the bag are a couple of containers of blue cheese and ranch dressing. I appreciate they got me both. I don't mind either, but I like blue cheese a bit more with wings. No drink, but I don't blame them. Trying to guess a favorite soda would be hard. I don't like soda, so I grab some iced tea and lemon to go with my food.
Sitting in my nest with this feast sounds amazing. I glance at the letters. Perhaps I could text them as well. I need to at least thank them for the flowers and food. Sure, they didn't have to do it, and I don't owe them anything, but I would feel like a dick if I didn't say a thing to them about it. I could thank them and answer their specific questions.
Would it be so bad to get to know our alphas?
I guess it wouldn't be terrible. As long as they stay upstairs and I stay safe in my nest.
Going back to my door, I make sure all the locks are in place, just in case they flip on me and try to get into my apartment. And also to keep me in and not seek them out if my heat comes on earlier than when it's supposed to be here. I have enough suppressants in me to put down an elephant, but I've never had my inner omega so much at the front of my mind. I'm not sure if having them in my system will help me or not in this case.
I wish I had some omega friends to ask how to deal with this, but I don't. I don't have any friends and now that I'm thinking about it, I find that kind of sad. My only other option is to go to an Omega hospital, but they would talk me into being taken care of by the alpha doctors there, and that sounds worse than giving in to compatible alphas if it comes to that.
Taking it all to my nest, I grab my nest tray that will allow me to eat in my nest without making a mess, especially with the sauces. Then I turn on my galaxy lights to a calming ocean blue setting and turn on some soft classical music. Everything to keep me calm while I reach out to them.
Anya:
This is Anya. Thank you for the food, letters, and flowers. I love chicken wings but will try the veggie ones as well. I'm an artist for a living, and I love doing it. So I guess that's my passion. What is your favorite meal?
It feels like a lame question, but I guess we have to start somewhere. Next, I want to text Leo. He touched me the most with his letter.
Anya:
So, I'm finally sending you a message. Thank you for the sweet gifts and your letter. It was kind of you to say those things. As to answering your question, I'm not sure. I guess it's been a while since I went out to see a movie in theaters, but I just haven't wanted to spend the time or money on it since 2020. What about you?
And finally, Jenson. Based on his penmanship, it feels like he might be deeper than he lets on. I'm curious to know why his is so elegant, while the other two penmanships look like a guy's handwriting.
Anya:
Hey, thanks for the gifts and letters. You have really nice handwriting. To answer your question, I used to smoke daily. But it was getting in the way of getting my art commissions done on time. So now I only smoke before bed or if I'm taking a day off from work. It's sweet of you to want to learn ASL for me, but you don't have to. I've gotten used to writing everything out. It's just something I have to do. So is the Porsche your favorite car?
I need to come up with some better questions, but I am curious about the car he drives. My hands shake a little with nervousness as I set my phone aside and wait for them to reply. I open my food, going for a chicken wing first, dipping it in some blue cheese before I take a bite. The crispiness of the skin makes my toes curl, and if I could, I would moan. If I tried, it wouldn't come out as anything appealing.
My phone chimes, and I jump. Finishing the wing, I wipe my fingers clean on a napkin and look at the text.
Maverick:
I'm so glad we picked something that you enjoy. I'm glad it wasn't something you hate. I really enjoy a good roasted chicken with vegetables that have gotten roasted and cooked in the juices. Nothing better than a crispy skin and moist chicken. My aunt used to make two chickens for us to each get. Some of the best memories from my teen years. Could I see some of your art? In another life, I may have become an artist as well. But I haven't sketched anything since I was 15.
Heat enters my cheeks at the thought of sharing my art with him, which is silly because I have an online presence for it. I even do videos a few times a month of time-lapses of me getting a painting done. So strangers see it all the time. But it feels intimate knowing he'll have to respond to it, and a part of me cares what he'll think.
I send him a couple I have on my phone that have since gone off to clients, but it will give him a good sense of what my style is like.
My eyes roll as I take a bite of some of the salty fries. They haven't even gotten soggy yet from being in the hot takeout box. I needed this comfort food and my nest. Perhaps even a bit of hope.
More chimes fill the air, and I can't help but smile. Spending the night talking to them feels really nice.
It won't be like last time.
The thought makes me swallow hard. I want my inner omega to be right, but I'm still going to take this at baby steps for as long as I can. I'm terrified it will be like last time, or worse.