11. Anya
Chapter 11
W e need our alphas.
I kick off the blankets over me. My skin burns as sweat drips down my brow and tickles my ears. As soon as I kick them off, a chill sets in, and I shiver. It's been a vicious loop for the last hour; hot then freezing, and there's no relief of the happy middle.
I let out a sob as a cramp takes hold of my uterus. Rolling over, I curl up into a ball, trying to get my body to release its muscle spasm.
This doesn't make sense. I've been religiously taking my heat suppressants. I should just be moody and slightly uncomfortable and horny right now, but this feels like my first heat, when it came on without notice and I had no time to prepare. That had been agony, and this feels like a thousand times worse than that.
We need our alphas. Text them. Tell them.
I let out a hoarse, wheezing scream. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
They're the only ones who can relieve this pain. We feel this way because we know we've found our mates.
My phone chimes.
That has to be them after their game. Answer them.
I flip over the other way, trying to ignore my inner omega. I know she's right. The only way this pain will end is if I have sex with them and give over to my instincts. They're sweet, and in my heart, I know they won't hurt or try to kill me like the alphas did in the past. But the fear of the "what if" still wins in the battle of my two halves.
I know their game was a few hours ago. I managed to wish them good luck before my heat fully took hold.
It hurts that on top of everything, today is the anniversary of the day I nearly died. If I hadn't been smart enough to play dead when they dumped me, I would be dead now. I outsmarted them, and that's the only reason I've made it this far, but now life tempts me with promises again.
Answer our alphas!
My hand moves to fish for my phone under my pillows. I try to stop it, but as the heat haze sets in, the less control I'll have, and the more my instincts will take control. It's my worst fear imagined. She's going to win, and we'll have to end up trusting these alphas.
I wish I could just go comatose for several days so that I don't have to worry about any of this or be in pain.
Turning the screen on, the glow makes my eyes squint in the black-out darkness of my nest, though it's doing little to ease the migraine sitting at the back of my eyes. I swipe down on my notifications.
From two hours ago.
Maverick:
We won! Just checking in, do you want us to pick you up something to eat?
From an hour ago:
Leo:
We just got done with all the press and fan stuff we had to take care of. If you're in the zone, totally get it, but we hope you're okay. We're going to pick up burgers. We'll leave one outside your door in about half an hour.
Now:
Jenson:
Food is in front of your door. We hope you're okay, if you need us, for anything, we're here.
Right now, I have no desire for food, not at all, but I have a desire for them. At least part of me does, while the other feels as if I'm going to die from a heart attack from the fear.
Alphas.
My fingers type as I fight my inner omega, but she's winning. She's stronger than me right now, for the first time in a decade.
Anya:
I need help.
My thumb hovers over the send button as I try to hold back and just force myself to live through this hell.
We don't have to live like this, and I'm not going to let you make us be miserable because of your fear.
It is the most she's ever said, and it's clear we're not on the same page, even though she is me. I wish I knew if having an inner omega so different from my typical self is normal. Will we ever line up with our desires, or will she only ever be driven by instinct and feel separate from myself?
It goes back to wishing I knew other omegas, but I've never been one to want to branch out and get to know people. Not after everything.
Before I know it, I'm hitting send. Panic and euphoria swirl up from my core as hurried footsteps thunder overhead and then down the stairs outside my apartment. My legs swing out of bed, and I stand, making my way to the front door.
I have many locks in place to keep my inner omega in the apartment. While in a haze, they should be too complicated to figure out, but my inner omega is on a different level right now. I'm in a haze of pain but not outside of logic.
A light knock sounds at the door.
"Anya, are you okay? We got your text." Maverick speaks through the door, and my shoulders shiver as slick warms my underwear.
Our Alphas, they care. Open the door or I will break the sliding door to let them in.
That shocks me.
For a moment, clarity settles in my mind as my inner omega gives over enough control to unlock the door.
Stepping forward, I reach up, standing on my toes, to reach the highest lock and enter the code to release it. It's a specialty omega lock. They've found in the thick of our heat that remembering codes and other commonplace things doesn't happen. We are only concerned with primal things. So they'll keep us from going out into the city and finding random alphas to help us.
But I guess my omega found a loophole, but would she be able to do this if it wasn't our compatible alphas on the other side of the door? There's no way of knowing. After all this is over, I need to join an omega support group and find out what's normal and what's not.
Next comes the chains and then the three deadbolts, which are an added defense along with the steel door to keep it from being able to get kicked in easier. My whole body shakes with fear and excitement. I turn the knob and open the door to them.
All three of them stand there with their phones in hand and a wild look in their eyes that hold worry.
Leo is the first to step forward. "Are you okay? We haven't..."
His words trail off as he takes a deep breath in. All of their eyes dilate and stiffen as their hands form fists at their sides before they shake them out and take a step back from me.
Maverick licks his lips. "Are you in control, Anya?"
I reach for my whiteboard and write out, "Mostly. I wouldn't have been able to open the door otherwise."
Showing them, they read it, and a glance goes between the three of them before Jenson runs his fingers through his hair. "I... we don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with. I'll be honest, my control is slipping. You smell divine right now, but..." His eyes travel to my neck.
I remember that I'm not wearing more than a thin black camisole and matching black shorts. It's a miracle I'm not naked right now, but my heat hasn't built to the stripping level yet. He can see my scars and the hideous bite marks on my neck.
They can make them disappear tonight.
Fuck no, even if something happens tonight, I'm not letting them anywhere near my neck with their teeth.
Before I can write something out, another cramp grips me, and my legs buckle. God, if this is payback for something I did wrong in a past life, I'm sorry. I drop the board and marker.
Two pairs of arms reach out and stop me from falling to the floor. The warmth of their touch rolls through my body, and my omega wants to purr. I suppress the urge. That's another thing that scares me. Making sounds once I'm too far gone to be mindful of it. After they hear me moan, they'll never want me again.
I glance up at Maverick and Jenson, as each of them holds one of my arms. Maverick's hand comes to rest on my lower stomach, the heat from his hand warms through the material. Though it's not what my body is craving, his touch is enough to relax me and make the cramp ease. A small sigh leaves me, and I want to stand to curl into them, letting them hold me because it feels so good just to be touched by them.
It makes me realize it's been a very long time since I've let anyone touch me. I stand, and they ease their grips on me but don't let go. I lift my hand and sign, "Thank you."
Maverick nods and swallows hard. His eyes are almost all black with how dilated they are. They're fighting hard to remain in control of their inner alphas. I can see it. It's a miracle I'm still lucid. Perhaps my inner omega is being merciful.
This won't be bad like you think it will. They will care for us in ways we've needed for a long time.
Leo clears his throat as he steps forward, picks up the takeout bag off my doorstep, and then grabs my board and marker, handing both to me while placing the food on the counter. "What would you like to do? We can leave right now, but the longer we linger, the harder it will be to do that."
Swallowing hard, I nod. And try to focus on the board. Writing is becoming difficult. "I don't think I can do this alone. It's bad. But please, don't touch or kiss my neck."
They all read it, and Maverick nods. "We can do that. Right?" There's a slight growl to his voice as he looks at the other two.
They each nod, and Leo smiles. "Of course, and if there's anything else you don't want us to do, then all you have to do is say something. These two have been working hard on studying ASL, and I can translate as well, so you don't have to worry about writing everything out."
Jenson lets go of me and moves his hands. "I've been learning. I want to talk to you. I know I don't need to sign, but it helps me learn."
A smile pulls at the corners of my lips. He's following through with what he said. It means a lot that they want to communicate with me, even with me unable to speak. I would love to talk to them like how I used to. I feel like we could've had the best verbal conversations. Our texting has been nice.
I slow down my signing for him and Maverick. "Thank you. That means a lot."
Jenson grins. "I would do anything to see you smile." He then looks off to the side and clears his throat as his cheeks turn pink. I don't think he meant to voice that thought.
Butterflies flutter around in my stomach. He sounds sincere, and I want to believe him, but the voice in the back of my mind tells me he would say anything just to have a heat with me. Once they get laid, they won't want me anymore; scent-matched or not, it won't matter. They will leave or do worse.
I swallow hard. "I haven't been with alphas for a decade."
I glance around, and they all seem to get the gist of what I've said. At their stares, my body heats with another hot flash, and sweat gathers on my brow as I shiver. Them being here was almost enough to keep my heat symptoms at bay, but now my body wants more.
Their touch, knots, and care.
Their marks...
My omega wants to rush things. That's not going to happen tonight, and if it does, I know I can't trust them to stay to their word. If they respect it, then... perhaps I'll be able to learn to trust them and this isn't the same old story of the past coming back to haunt me.
Maverick rubs the back of his neck as the fingers of his other hand flex. "Do you want to lead this, and we'll follow you? Or we could lead slowly with check-ins, and you let us know if we're crossing a line."
Tears well in my eyes, and I'm not sure if they're from fear or the fact that them willing to talk it out beforehand shows me that they're a thousand times more caring than the alphas of my past. I've never had anyone let me have the lead.
Omegas are expected to be submissive to alphas. We don't have a ton of legal rights once we bond with alphas, but the fact they aren't being a typical alpha with wanting full control and taking what they want means a lot.
Jenson goes to close the door, but I notice he doesn't lock it, giving me an out if I decide to run as Leo steps forward and leans down a little so that he can be eye level with me. "Hey, we didn't mean to make you cry. If you want us to leave, we will."
I shake my head. "It's not that." I try to find the words. "No one has ever offered control."
Leo's Adam's apple bobs as he gulps and turns his gaze away from mine for a second as tears well in the corners of his blue eyes. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with alphas like that in your past. Everyone deserves respect and consent. It's just human decency."
Before I can think about it, I reach out and pull him into a hug. He hesitates for only a second before wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. The pressure from the hug seems to ease some of my nervousness, and the best way I can describe it is it feels as if I'm home for the first time in my life.
His cedar and spicy cinnamon and clove scent wrap around me, and I take a deep breath in. More slick pools at my center, and my clit tightens with the need to be touched. Part of me wants to rub my thighs together to relieve some of the pressure, but I resist.
I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to not be wanton in front of them. My inner omega pushes me to strip and present myself to them, and there's no way I have enough confidence to do something like that.
A low purr comes deep in his chest, vibrating against my ear.
Our alpha is happy with us.
I swallow hard as I continue to hold on to him, wanting the embrace to go longer. It feels so good, and I'm scared at how happy this is making me in such a short amount of time. I can't fall for them, not yet. Because if they decide I'm too broken to want to pursue, then I'll be left alone again with only a series of unfortunate events to show for my life.
Forcing the negative thoughts down, I try to focus on the moment. We're not going to get anywhere with me in my head, and I'm certain I'm going to have a cramp soon because his scent all around me will only satisfy my instincts for so long. If we want them to calm down, the only way to go about this is to have intercourse.
Then it hits me. Pulling back from him, I sign, "I don't have any kind of birth control. I never thought compatible alphas would literally move in above me."
Leo translates the last half for me to the others.
At once, they all stiffen, and then Jenson snaps his fingers. "Not an issue. I just got some of those new Alpha contraceptive pills for PR on my Insta. It's a full bottle, so between the three of us, it will last the week. And if it doesn't, then we'll have time to get some more delivered, but it has a lot of reviews already and is ninety-nine percent effective in preventing pregnancy."
Maverick laughs. "Thank God you're an amateur model on Insta. For once, I can't be mad at all the PR packages you bring home when you go to your PO Box."
Jenson winks at them and then at me. "I'll be right back, Princess." He leaves through the door.
I nod as the sweat returns. Even the little clothes I have on make me feel as if I have five thick sweaters on. I'm seconds away from stripping down to nothing, and though this outfit leaves nothing to the imagination, I haven't been naked in front of anyone for a decade.
Leo turns from me and goes to my kitchen. He opens up cabinets until he finds the cups and then fills one at the sink before bringing it back to me. "Drink. I don't want you getting dehydrated. It can be super dangerous, and it happens often to omegas during their heat."
I take it from him. "Thank you," I sign and take a large drink from it. He's right. I've cut it really close in the past by becoming dehydrated during a heat. Luckily I turned it around before I needed the Omega Hospital.
The door opens again, and Jenson comes back in with a headshot-winning grin. He holds up the bottle and gives it a rattle. "Found it, and they're not expired."
Leo laughs and shakes his head. "I guess that's always a plus. How do these work anyway? I've heard about them, but how can a little pill keep us from having kids? Don't we have to be taking them daily for a while before they're fully effective?"
Jenson reads the back of the label as he closes the door and shakes his head. "It says take ten minutes before coitus, and it's effective for up to a full day. So maybe we won't need as many of these as I thought."
Maverick frowns. "Are they safe? I don't know if kids are in my future, but I don't want to become sterile, just in case."
Jenson tosses him the bottle. "I'm sure they are. We could always take them for today and then order condoms to get delivered. But based on how delicious she's smelling right now, we're not going to make it that far, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. We should get to know each other way better before we bring children into the mix."
Even as the haze of my heat sets in, I'm thankful they're conscious of that. I haven't given children much thought. I didn't think they would be an option, but I do know I don't want them after my first heat with these compatible Alphas.
But our alphas will want kids.
Of course, my inner omega thinks that, but she's wrong. That's just the instinct to mate driving her.
They each take a pill from the bottle. I offer them the glass in my hand, but they shake their heads as they dry swallow it.
I've been patient, but now it's my turn.
The haze sinks in more as the heat under my skin grows to an inferno. Reaching down, I grab the hem of my camisole and pull it over my head, leaving me in nothing but my shorts, baring my breasts to them.
Their eyes all darken as they stare at me, and my inner omega preens at their attention. I allow myself to sink a bit more into the omega headspace so I don't have to think about what their thoughts are on my scarred body, but not so far down they talk me into something I don't want to do. My inner omega will submit to whatever they want, and I can't let myself go that deep.
I hope this isn't a mistake.