29. Liv
29
LIV
I look at the little half-circle of handsome men staring at me with different versions of worry on their faces. I don’t quite know what to say to them, and it’s hard to speak past the lump of guilt that’s lodged firmly in my throat.
“You obviously already know that I’m pregnant. I found out a little bit ago that I’m having twins.”
I see different kinds of surprise flare across their features, and I nearly laugh out loud as they look at one another then back at me.
“That’s… amazing,” Aiden breathes out, stepping forward and holding out his hand. I look at it for a moment before taking it. It feels nice to have a lifeline, and I cling to his hand gratefully.
“It’s scary,” I say to them, my voice sounding small even to my own ears.
“It’s incredible,” Dimitri asserts, stepping forward and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“What can we do to help?” Connor asks.
As I look at all of them, my heart swells in my chest.
“You aren’t angry at me?” I ask. “I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to be distracted for today’s game. I guess that didn’t exactly work out, though, did it?”
I look down at the ugly hospital gown covering my body and sigh. Everything feels so messy right now. I have no idea how to navigate any of this. There’s no playbook to help define how to manage a multi-person relationship.
“Why would we be angry?” Aiden asks with a small frown.
“Because I lied to you, and we all lied to Max, and—” I stammer out.
Connor shakes his head firmly. “All of this is our fault,” he says. “We should have told Max, not you. And we were all responsible for protection, but we got lost in the moment. You are not to blame here.”
“And besides,” Dimitri adds, “I’ve always wanted kids.”
They all grin at his words and nod in eager unison.
“You all want kids?” I ask them.
Their response is a resounding, “Yes!”
“You are going to be the best mom,” Connor says with a hint of emotion in his voice.
“How do we… handle us?” I manage to ask. It’s the elephant in the room. We never talked about the future because we had all decided that this was only a fling, something fun but never meant to last.
“What do you want?” Aiden asks. He almost sounds scared, as if he’s forcing himself to be brave enough to ask the question.
I bite my lower lip as I scan their faces. I haven’t been able to fully answer that question. I have argued with myself every step of the way, trying to convince myself that I don’t want this unconventional relationship, that I don’t want to be with all three of them. That what I really yearn for is to focus on my career and my future success.
“The thing is,” Aiden says, his voice growing stronger, “I love you, Olivia Winters. I have always loved you, ever since we were kids.”
“And I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you,” Dimitri throws in, his eyes full of emotion.
“I love you more than anything else in the world,” Connor adds. “I love you more than hockey, even.”
A laugh erupts past the tension coiling through my body. “Well, that is quite the commitment,” I say as Connor blushes a bright red.
“What about you?” Aiden asks again. “What do you want? We will do whatever you need us to do because we all love you and want what’s best for you. We just want you to be happy.”
I look at their handsome faces, all of them staring at me, their emotions shining for the world to see, and something blossoms in my heart. I finally let down all the walls that I have been constructing for years, walls intended to block them out, wanting to be what society deems normal rather than following my heart.
I feel a wide grin break out across my face and realize that tears are slipping down my cheeks.
“I love you all,” I choke out around the tears clogging my throat. “I always have.”
Aiden bends forward and presses a kiss to my cheek then moves over so Dimitri and Connor can do the same. They are all touching me now—Aiden holding one hand, Dimitri the other, and Connor stroking my hair.
I feel their love pouring into me, healing all the hurts and doubts, making me feel like there is nothing that we can’t do.
“We have a lot of stuff to figure out.”
Connor waves his hand. “The rest is simple. The biggest hurdle is out of the way now that we all know how we feel.”
“I love you guys,” I say as I look at each of them, and I mean it with all of my heart and soul.
“And we all love you,” Aiden replies.
“Visiting hours are over,” a voice says softly from the doorway.
We all glance over and see a nurse poking her head in with a warm smile.
“Okay, I’ll shoo them away in a moment.”
She vanishes, and Max appears in her place.
“You guys want to go get a beer?” he asks them.
They all look a bit more relaxed. Connor strides over to Max. “We owe you an apology,” he says.
Max smiles shyly then looks down at his feet. “Yeah, you do. We can talk about stuff over food. I’m starving.”
As if on cue, Aiden’s stomach grumbles and I giggle.
“Go on, get some food you guys,” I tell them. “Have a pint for me.” I place a hand on my belly and rub it, thinking about all the months I have to go without being able to have a beer.
“Love you,” Dimitri says, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. “Feel better.”
Aiden and Connor come over to kiss me as well, but before they leave, Dimitri hesitates in the doorway.
“By the way,” he says offhandedly, “Travis shouldn’t be bothering you anymore. But if he does, you tell us, and we’ll take care of it.”
I laugh out loud then clap a hand over my mouth. “You guys didn’t hurt him too badly, did you?”
Connor shrugs. “Let’s just say he won’t be ready for his close-up for a couple of weeks, but he’ll be alright.”
“He was trying to record us talking about being in love with you. We smashed his phone so he can’t take it to the press,” Aiden adds.
Max’s eyes are wide as he looks at them. “Add that topic to the list of things we’ll be discussing over pizza and brews,” he says with a shake of his head.
I laugh again and wave at them as they leave the room. I slump back against the pillows, allowing myself to ponder the huge changes that have taken place in my life over the past forty-eight hours.
I might not be able to continue pushing forward in my career as I had hoped, but I know now that the men I have loved since I was a teenager not only love me back, but are completely on board with raising these babies with me. I know that my brother loves me and is willing to help out in any way that he can.
And I know that I can choose to be happy, even if that happiness is considered unconventional. That alone is a huge step for me, considering I am someone who has always pressured myself to be perfect, and to check all the right boxes.
I think about the fact that the boys and my brother are almost certainly going to get a chance to play for the Stanley Cup, and I feel tingly with excitement. I know how much this means to them, hell, how much it means to me. I know that I won’t be able to do the coverage for that game, but hopefully I will be well enough to be sitting in the stands, watching them play for the coveted cup.
I wonder how I’m going to tell my parents about everything. While traveling throughout Europe, they fell in love with Scotland, and decided to extend their stay. They don’t have any plans to return any time soon, and I really don’t want them coming home only to breathe down my neck and pester me about making good decisions.
Maybe I can give them the abbreviated version of the truth.
I sigh and pick up my phone, ready to go back to work on collecting data for the blog entry that I need to post tonight, when the nurse comes back in the room.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” she chides as she takes my vitals.
“I know but I have a blog entry to put out tonight.”
“That’s why you’re so good at your job,” she says, patting my shoulder. “You love what you do.”
I smile at her and nod. “I try really hard to do the job justice. Especially seeing as it’s primarily a man’s occupation. Women have to bust their ass twice as hard in this field.”
She grins at me. “It’s really nice to hear a lady calling out all those exciting plays for a change. I enjoy listening to you talk us through the highs and lows of the game.”
I blush a little, pleased at her words. “Gosh, that’s so great to hear,” I say, cursing my pregnancy hormones for making me want to cry at her praise. “I hope I can get back to work once the babies are born. I really do love my job.”
“You’re a badass,” the nurse says to me with a wink. “You’ll handle these twins like a pro.”
She looks at me with her hands on her hips then taps her watch. “I’m giving you another half an hour, missy, and then you need to get some rest, okay?”
I smile at her and nod. She reminds me so much of my mom. As the nurse leaves the room, I decide that the blog can wait until the next day. I pull out my phone and open my email. Sighing, I start to type.
Mom,
I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to let you and Dad know that I’m pregnant... with twins. I also need to tell you that I don’t know who the father of the baby is. That part is complicated, but Max is on board and says he doesn’t care who the dad is so long as he gets to be the best uncle ever.
It’s all so confusing and surprising right now.
The men who could be the father are all in my life, and I can explain this a lot better over the phone. I can’t chat for a couple of days, but let’s plan a time to talk soon, okay? Kisses to Dad.
XO,
Liv
I send the message then lean back against the pillow. There was a period in my life when it would have terrified me to admit to my mother that I had enjoyed the love and affection of three men at the same time. I struggled to admit to myself how much I loved being loved by all of them.
Now, however, I am finding that I just don’t care much about what other people want me to do. After all, I’ve been breaking the rules ever since I was a young woman. I got into the business of hockey reporting on talent alone—women are not typically selected for sportscasting positions—but I put myself through college in record time, landed my first commentating job, and never looked back.
Why should I let myself feel guilty about the way that I want to be loved? I’ve never done anything by the book, and I’m not about to start now.
I place a hand over my belly. Twins . How on earth am I going to take care of twins? I hope my mom is able to come home to help me after the birth. I release a heavy sigh but then smile. I am forgetting one of the most obvious benefits of being in a multi-person relationship— multiple babysitters and extra hands.
As I close my eyes and let myself drift into sleep, I think about how adorable and fun all of my men are going to be as dads. I know that Connor will teach all the hard lessons, Aiden will be a good, solid shoulder to cry on, and Dimitri, well, he will probably be the instigator, getting the kids into trouble on a regular basis.
While I drift into the first good sleep I’ve had in weeks, I dream about a happy future with my twins and my men.