32. Liv
32
LIV
I ’m definitely dying , I think to myself as another contraction seizes me in its iron fist. I squeeze my eyes shut and grip Connor’s hand as hard as I can, hoping that I leave bruises.
“This is all your fault,” I gasp out as the contraction fades a little. I crack an eye open and glare at Aiden, and then Dimitri. “And also yours and yours,” I say grimly.
Aiden goes a little pale as he looks at me, and I feel a surge of triumph that helps push me through the next hideous contraction.
“Be as angry at us as you want if it helps you get through the pain,” Connor reassures me.
Dimitri dares to come closer and cups my face in his large hands. He starts speaking in Russian to me. Although I only catch a word here and there, it’s enough to know that he’s saying I’m a strong and beautiful warrior woman, peppered with words of love in between.
“I’m still not convinced that I can’t have an epidural,” I snarl at Dimitri in response. He grins at me and kisses the end of my nose while uttering more words in Russian.
“Honey, we’re past the safe point where we can give you an epidural,” the veteran nurse who has been taking care of me says as she hustles into the room with ice chips in a cup. She squeezes my shoulder and winks at me. “Just a few more hours of pain then you’ll get to hold your babies.”
“Easy for you to say,” I grumble between rapidly narrowing contractions.
“I’ve had six kids,” the nurse tells me, and I feel a wash of humble pie rain down on me. “You survive, and you even thrive,” she says. “Keep crushing that one’s hand and yelling at the other two. It’ll help.”
I offer a small grin to the men surrounding my hospital bed. “You hear that? I can yell at you all I want because it will help.”
“Yell at us with all the power you’ve got,” Dimitri says with a huge grin.
I hiss a few curses at him and grab Connor’s hand as hard as I can as another contraction tears through me. Dimitri chuckles and takes my other hand.
“Break it if you must,” he says, his accent thick as he squeezes my fingers.
“I’m going to get the doctor,” the nurse says after measuring me. “I think it’s close to showtime.”
Her words cause a jolt of fear to race through me. I’m not ready. I can’t be ready. This is too big.
“I’m scared,” I say, in the same rage-filled voice I’ve been using to yell at them about how much pain I’m in.
Dimitri’s smile falls from his face and he looks at Aiden. Rage is something Dimitri understands. Fear, he isn’t so comfortable with.
“You can do this,” Aiden says soothingly as he takes over for Dimitri. He grips my hand lightly then reaches out with the other to push my sticky hair off my forehead. “You are strong and brave and I love you. You’re my hero.”
I look at him, feeling a little bubble of hope and strength take over me. I look at Dimitri and Connor and give them a teary-eyed smile.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” I sniffle.
Connor laughs. “I liked it. Do it more.”
We all chuckle at that before another contraction seizes me. I double forward, nausea and pain scorching through my body.
“Oh my god,” I gasp, flopping back on the pillow behind me. “I have to do this twice ,” I moan.
“And you’ll do it in style,” Aiden assures me.
“Yeah, I’m really glamorous right now,” I complain as I feel another contraction coming on.
“You look radiant,” Connor says with a fond smile.
I glare at him and swipe at the sweat on my face.
They all laugh and exchange a look.
“What are you laughing at?” I hiss.
“Just push, love,” Aiden encourages.
“Time for the big girl panties,” my nurse says as she comes back in the room with the doctor.
“I don’t own any of those,” I tell her.
She laughs. “Well, imagine that you do because you’re about to put them on, figuratively speaking of course.”
She nudges Aiden out of the way.
“Let’s take a look at what we’ve got going on here,” the doctor says, looking under the sheet. “Oh, we are very close. Ready to start pushing?”
I give the doctor a nasty look.
The next hour is a blur of pain, fear, exhaustion, and happiness. I curse the boys in both English and Russian, tears on the faces of everyone in the room minus the doctor and nurses.
I feel like a limp noodle by the time the nurses place my sons upon my chest. I cradle them to my body and kiss the tops of their heads, which are covered in dark hair.
Dimitri has already spent a few minutes celebrating loudly in Russian, going on about superior Russian sperm. I laugh while the other two sigh and shake their heads. The nurse explains that the color of an infant’s hair at birth often has nothing to do with their permanent hair color.
The nurse seems to have clearly figured out that any of the three guys in the room could be the father. It’s interesting how over the past seven months I have become so immune to the opinions of others.
What’s also interesting, is that no one has seemed overly surprised that the three men come along with me as a package deal. My mother is probably the most concerned over the situation, mostly because she really wants to plan a wedding that will wow her friends.
I have reassured her a zillion times that Aiden is the only one who is marrying me, although we do plan to have a private ceremony for the sake of symbolism, where I will marry all three.
I look at the sparkling band of diamonds on my finger and grin. The boys had done such a good job picking out my ring. They’ve done a great job with everything, honestly. And now that I’m done being cut in half by contractions, I know they will do a great job with being dads, as well.
“Oh wow, look at them,” Max says as he comes into the room. He reaches out a shaky hand and strokes the head of one baby, then the other. The baby on my right yawns hugely then nestles back in.
“They have dark hair,” Max says, glancing at Dimitri.
“Oh, don’t start all of that again,” I chuckle, rolling my eyes.
The nurse opens her mouth to explain everything again but I shake my head. She smiles at me then leaves the room.
“I don’t care what the nurse says,” Dimitri insists, his accent thick due to the emotions coursing through him. “I think their hair will stay this color.”
Max looks back and forth between us with a confused look on his face, then shrugs and lets it go. “What did you decide about names?” he asks.
“We are going to compromise,” I reply. “There was a lot of disagreement about the quality of English names compared to Russian names. We decided on Alexei and Adam.”
“I like it,” Max says, a soft smile on his face. “Mom is going to be beyond excited.”
“Oh!” I say, smacking my forehead. “I promised her we would Facetime once everything calmed down. Can you help me out with that?” I ask my brother.
“Sure thing,” he says. He glances at me with his thumb hovering over the call button. “Are you ready for this?” he asks with a brow lifted.
I sigh and look around at my men. “Are you guys ready for a mom invasion?”
Connor laughs and nudges Aiden, who steps forward to stand beside me in the frame of the video call. Dimitri gives me a thumbs-up.
“Okay, let ‘er rip,” I say to my brother.
Max nods and presses the call button, the ringing tone filling the room. I kiss the tops of the babies’ heads again just before Mom picks up.
“Max? Hi! Is my girl all done with the hard part?”
“I am,” I call out. Max flips the camera so that my mother can see me and the babies.
“Oh my god!” she coos. “All that dark hair!”
I roll my eyes and press my fingers to the bridge of my nose. “No more about the dark hair,” I mutter as Dimitri leans into the frame of the video and flexes.
My mother ignores him and continues to ooh and aah over her grandchildren. “What are their names going to be?” she asks.
I relay our chosen names and my mother claps her hands. “Oh, I love that you picked a Russian name!” she says. “That’s so unique.”
“It is an excellent strong name,” Dimitri pipes up from out of frame.
“So, when is the wedding?” my mother asks, looking away from me to stare at Aiden. Aiden gulps and glances down at me.
“Mom, we don’t have a date yet, you know that” I remind her. “You’ll be the first to know when we do, I promise.”
“I just want to be sure that we get things right is all,” my mother insists. “I think you should come here and…”
I let my mom chatter on about the wedding of her dreams, which is also supposed to be the wedding of my dreams, apparently and look at my sleeping children. I know that they will eventually be pooping, puking, and screaming all the time, but for the moment, they are so beautiful and perfect.
“You boys take care of her for me,” my mother tells Aiden, wagging a finger at him sternly. “She needs rest, and you guys had better call me first if you have any questions. Don’t bother her if she’s sleeping and don’t ask her to cook for you and…”
I tune my mom’s lecture out, feeling Adam stirring in his sleep. He brings his little fist up to his mouth and starts a tiny squeal that soon turns into a full-bore shriek.
The nurse comes in and waves at my mom, then starts walking me through the process of getting the babies to latch on for breastfeeding for the first time.
“I’ll talk to you later, Mom!” I call out over the crying of my two hungry sons.
Max takes that as his cue and turns the camera around before leaving the room.
“You guys pay attention to this,” I tell them, my brain feeling soupy with fatigue and emotion. “I might forget how to do it later,” I add sarcastically.
They cluster around as the nurse hands Alexei to Dimitri, then lifts Adam, helping me position him against my breast. He takes a couple of tries to figure out how to start nursing, but once he’s got it figured out, he gets to work. We repeat the process with Alexei, and then blessed silence fills the room.
“Is it possible to just feed them 24/7?” I ask wanly, my ears still ringing from the cries of my hungry children.
The nurse laughs. “Sadly, no, but we will get them started on formula while you are here for the next couple of days. Then your men can help you with the feeding schedule.”
“Yippee,” I say sarcastically.
“Have I mentioned that I love you,” Aiden tells me, leaning over to kiss my forehead.
“Yes, but I never get tired of hearing it.”
“You were a fierce warrior, my angel,” Dimitri tells me, leaning down and kissing me on the lips.
“Thank you for blessing us with these perfect little humans,” Connor tells me, a tear slipping down his face as he cups my cheek.
“I love you all so much,” I tell them, my voice thick with emotion. “And I love both of you,” I tell the tiny people happily nursing in my arms. “We are so lucky,” I whisper to them. “We have three wonderful men to share our lives with, to help us, and to share their love with us.”
I look at the circle of love surrounding me, and realize just how blessed I am. This might be unconventional, and it might make some people uncomfortable, but it has always been the one thing I wanted most in this world.
“Hey, Stanley Cup champs. Can one of you slapshot some ice chips into my mouth? My hands are kind of full.”
I know that there are going to be challenges, and we are all going to have to perform as a tightknit team to make things work out, but I have total faith that we can do it.