Chapter Two
TOREN
Fear takes mercy on no one.
It consumes your entire being and overrides every rational thought. It can have you acting out of character and force you to become someone you aren’t, or it can bring out the person you are meant to be and force you to rise like a phoenix and fight with everything you have.
I don’t even know what I’m missing anymore. I just know something inside me died over a year ago and it never fully came back. It’s a quiet pain, always present. Heavy on your chest and I’m unable to escape from it.
I’m mourning the loss of someone I never knew.
I mourn the loss of my best friend every fucking day.
I lost the person I used to be that night.
I used to love freely, trust blindly and look at the world with wonder.
Now, all I see is pain and destruction. It hurts in the way words can never express or explain clearly.
I live with a deep aching sadness inside of me daily, it’s like a constant gray cloud looming over me.
I’m tired of bearing this pain alone, tired of fighting, tired of acting like I’m okay.
I’ll never be okay again. This war has taken my innocence.
I sold my soul to the devil and he didn’t even have to ask me for it, I gave it freely because it’s broken.
Splintered into a million tiny pieces that will never be whole again. I’m a broken fairy like he says I am.
Betrayal is new to me but not to the person sitting beside me.
I can’t even look at Cas.
K. Kyle.
The sight of Kellan’s name flashing across the screen of his phone is imprinted in my mind.
Cas is a traitor.
This whole time he was pretending to be Xaden’s friend, his right hand man but he was just using him to get intel for the fucking CIA. He never cared about Xaden, he just cared about himself and clearing his own damn name.
Knowing what I know now, I feel differently toward him.
He stood in that rink and did nothing as Xaden shot Kellan.
Yet he was working with him! He never tried to stop him or fight for his friend, he left him there to die so he could protect himself from Xaden ever finding out the truth—that he’s a fucking snitch!
I should out him, I could do it right now and buy myself some more time to think of a plan to escape but…
To teach is to learn. To learn is to excel. To excel is to thrive. To thrive is to live.
I need to live.
But, I have also learned that in order to live, I need to learn. I have learned from my mistakes and grown. I’ve excelled in many things. Maybe not plotting against Xaden but I know better now. In order to live my life, I need to thrive and I can’t do that unless I’m the one wearing the crown.
Outing Cas might get me there but knowing I am the cause of his death would haunt me and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
The car comes to a stop and suddenly every thought evaporates and leaves me sitting here with nothing aside from my fear to keep me company.
My own flesh and blood may be seated in the row in front of me, but there is no love lost between him and I.
I thought Masen hung the moon, there was nothing my brother could do that would ever make me see him in a different light.
He was my hero. My knight in shining armor.
I was blinded by my love for him. I was a fucking fool who saw what I wanted.
I didn’t see beneath the layers. Now all I see when I look at my brother is evil. I don’t see the man who practically raised me, he’s gone now and all that is left behind is the monster he kept hidden so no one would know how truly vile and twisted he is.
When the others climb out I realize that this is it.
This is the moment Xaden has been waiting for, he finally has my father, Masen, Meekan and me. The last four people he blames for the death of his loved ones.
Will our deaths bring him peace?
Will he finally get the closure he needs?
I thought death wouldn’t be the end but the start of something beautiful.
I was wrong.
“Let’s go, Terror.” Cas’s voice pulls me from my inner thoughts.
I look over at my old friend and see no semblance of the person I knew.
This man isn’t the Caspian Vought I spent night after night with, laughing, playing silly games and watching him, Kellan and my brother play fighting in our living room.
This new Cas is a man with a vendetta so big it has altered him from the inside out.
I pull my gaze from him and climb out of the car.
Chance grips my arm and leads me forward, while Masen is gripped by the other guy and dragged toward the warehouse that has men stationed out front and patrolling the area.
I feel Caspian behind me but he isn’t any form of support, he let one of his best friends get his fucking brains blown out without trying to stop it.
Xaden leads us toward the entrance. Despite the situation and the promise of my demise looming over my head, I can’t help but appreciate the sight of him.
Xaden isn’t like everyone else his age. He walks with a swagger that isn’t practiced or learned.
It’s just him. He carries an air of dominance and power, shadows clinging to him like he’s a master of darkness.
And he is. He is death in the flesh. To meet with him in a dark room alone is to meet your reckoning.
I should feel something, anger, fear or fucking happiness, but I don’t.
I feel numb.
It’s like I knew I was on borrowed time from the moment I got back to Somerset and he was waiting for me in my room.
Am I weak for not fighting?
The thoughts vanish when a large roller door is lifted and the light from the inside bleeds out to us and forces me to squint my eyes against its harshness.
Xaden doesn’t slow his pace, he stalks past the men who opened the door and continues inside.
Masen begins to struggle in the guys hold and tries to fight to get free.
The one holding me growls in annoyance letting me go to help his friend.
Cas claims his place at my side but doesn’t touch me, it’s like he knows I have no intention of running and is just content to walk me to my death. The guys wrangle Masen forward, he drags his feet but it doesn't stop them from pulling him inside the warehouse.
I take a deep breath, look up at the night sky for the last time and just be in the moment. I close my eyes and send up a silent prayer to Kenna and Emery.
See you soon.
When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is Xaden standing in the doorway, the light bouncing off him like it’s afraid to touch the God of death.
He looks ominous standing there dressed head to toe in black.
His eyes burn with hunger, the monster inside him is barely concealed.
I keep my chin up as I walk toward him, never once faltering in my step.
Cas keeps close but still doesn’t touch me.
I stop a foot away from Xaden and stare up at the man who changed everything about me and my life without even trying.
We just stand for a long minute staring at each other, no words are needed. I can see everything he is saying just by the look in his eyes.
I hate you.
I won.
The war is over.
I’m the Don of Stormsend and Somerset now.
“I don’t believe in fairies anymore, Tink.” His voice is calm, controlled and quiet which makes it so much worse. The sharp pain in my chest is a welcome relief from the numbness. To finally feel something is a blessing.
I nod, believing him.
He’s never lied to me, he’s always been honest and I can’t fault him for it because I was an idiot and thought through all the cruelty and anger that he would change. I was the typical girl you love to hate in a movie that thinks she can be the one to tame and change the boy.
It didn’t work out well for me.
“Move,” he snaps. I follow him inside the warehouse and the temperature instantly drops, I feel cold.
I falter at the sight of my father, Meekan and Masen all strapped to chairs in the center of the room.
I know without having to be told that the vacant fourth chair is for me.
Xaden moves aside and looks at me like he is about to speak but I don’t stop.
I keep moving until I plant my ass in the seat and look directly across at my father.
Hatred flares in his eyes and I know if it wasn’t for the gag in his mouth he would be spewing vile insults my way.
I glance over at Meekan and feel shame, he looks…
different. There is no softness in his eyes, no laugh lines or any semblance of the boy I once knew, in his place is this horrible stranger that betrayed me.
“She would be so disappointed in you,” I say.
His eyes widen and indignation reverberates through him.
Whatever he is saying is muffled by the gag in his mouth and I’m grateful for it.
I’m done listening to his lies. Kenna deserved better than him, he used her death to help propel his own greed.
That night ruined many lives and he prospered off of it.
My father lined his pockets well to bury the whole accident.
No justice was served because Special Agent Di-Leo made sure of that.
“And they say family reunions are boring.” Xaden’s tone is bordering on smug and it’s not becoming of him.
I flinch when he places his hands on top of my shoulders.
His touch isn’t welcome, it’s cold and calculating.
I don’t want this to be the last memory I have of his hands on me.
“Half of what you hear and all of what you see, Tink.” I do nothing when he grips my wrists and pulls them behind the back of the chair and secures them with handcuffs.
I inhale and exhale, not because I want to but because it’s my body reacting.
I repeat the mantra in my head over and over again to remain calm.
Death takes no prisoners and begging the Reaper will do you no good. I’ll meet my maker with my pride intact and not go out a coward.
To teach is to learn. To learn is to excel. To excel is to thrive. To thrive is to live.