Chapter Twenty-Four
XADEN
I skate around the rink with my stick clutched in my hand, feeling a sense of calm that only exists here.
This place has always been my sanctuary. The one place where I can just be me. Where my last name means nothing. Where the weight of being the Don of the Cosa Nostra lifts, even if just for a moment.
I miss it.
God, I miss it.
I would give anything to go back to training and playing every week. To feel the ice under my blades every day. To train so hard my body aches and I'm forced to take ice baths just to function.
But those days are gone.
I'm the Don now. There's a war on the horizon, one I'm ready for, one I've been preparing for but, before I can engage in the ensuing battle, I have a rat to snuff out and put down.
I wall off all my emotions, locking them away in the dark place where I keep everything that makes me weak.
If she does what I think she will when she arrives, she'll confirm it without even meaning to.
And then I'll have to destroy her.
The fact that Patrick hasn't checked in is a neon fucking sign. Men I brought in and trust were tasked with following some of the others, I didn’t know for sure who it was but now? I do.
I slide to a stop when I hear the door to the rink open.
I look over to see Toren walking in with her lap dog and his twin flanking her on either side like bodyguards.
The sight of Carnage instantly makes rage boil in my veins. I want to fucking obliterate his face, tear his skin from his bones, hear him scream and beg for mercy.
But I need to focus.
I glide toward center ice where there's a stack of pucks waiting. I place my stick in front of me and rest my arms over it, placing my chin on top—appearing casual and relaxed even though every muscle in my body is coiled tight.
She approaches the entrance to the ice. When Cas motions for her to step onto it, he holds his arm out, blocking Beavis and Butt-Head from following.
“Where she goes, I go,” Carnage hisses, his voice low and dangerous.
“Read the room, man.” Cas's tone is almost pitying. “You may have men posted outside, but they won't be able to get in here fast enough to save you from a bullet.”
Carnage ignores the warning and looks to Toren instead. She forces a smile that doesn't reach her eyes and nods.
“I'll be okay,” she reassures him, though her voice wavers.
She steps onto the ice carefully, and Cas follows on his skates. He grips her arm and leads her across, bringing her to a stop in front of me.
There's at least five feet between us.
No one knows what the pucks are for. I made sure to keep that to myself.
I want them all surprised when they realize what I have planned.
“Where's Masen, Tink?” I start with an easy question, keeping my voice neutral.
I want her calm. Relaxed. She has her guard up and I need her to let it down so I can get a clear read.
Because if this goes the way I think it will...
I'll give in to the darkness completely. I'll let it consume me. And I won't be able to claw my way back to the surface a second time.
She darts her tongue out to moisten her lips, a nervous tell I've catalogued and filed away.
“You lied to me,” she states, her tone accusatory.
I quirk an eyebrow. “About?”
“You never burned Walter House.”
I keep the shock from showing on my face, but internally, I'm reeling.
“He's at Walter House?” I ask carefully.
She swallows hard and nods.
I look to my right where I know Andrade is stationed and give him a single nod. He taps Kyro and Jett on the shoulders, and the three of them stalk out of the rink to go collect that slimy little cunt and drag him back here.
So I can finally end this.
“I have a request,” Toren mutters quietly.
“You want me to give your brother my sister's pendant to hold while I kill him?” I mock, unable to help myself.
Her eyes narrow as the memory of that night plays out in her head—the night I planned to kill her right here.
“Don't be a dick, Xaden!” she snaps.
My face hardens into stone. “Watch it, Tink. You aren't exempt from my wrath.”
She throws her hands in the air, frustration radiating from every line of her body. “I don't care! I'm done playing this game of cat and mouse with you.”
I flick my gaze from her to her fucking mutt standing at the edge of the rink, then back again.
She scoffs, reading my expression perfectly. “Whatever you're thinking, don't!”
“So you're not fucking peace and serenity over there?”
Fury engulfs her features. I hear Carnage spewing threats from the sidelines but I ignore him, keeping my focus locked on her.
“Fuck you!” Her voice cracks with emotion. “I didn't come here for you to berate me and make implications that I'm some whore who sleeps around. I'm not a puck bunny like those other thots you're used to, Xaden. When I tell a guy I love him, it means he's it for me. I don't see anyone else.”
Her words hit like a sucker punch to the gut.
It takes more effort than I want to admit to keep my composure, to not react to the raw honesty in her voice.
“The files,” I snap, redirecting.
She rolls her eyes and reaches into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out a flash drive.
I study her face intently, blocking everything else out as I watch for the signs.
The tells.
The lies.
She holds the drive out to me. “This is everything I have on everyone.”
And there it is.
The hitch in her voice on the word ‘everything.’
Her left eye twitched.
That button nose scrunched up on the last word.
Liar.
Something inside me shatters.
I push off my stick, gripping it like it's the only thing keeping me tethered to sanity, and begin skating a slow circle around her and Cas.
She watches me with confusion written all over her face.
I stop and shoot a puck across the rink with vicious force, then continue skating. Around and around, shooting pucks at intervals, trying to get myself under control.
Trying to find the words.
Trying not to completely lose my fucking mind.
When I'm finally sure I can articulate without screaming, I slide to a stop in front of them.
I toy with a puck, hitting it side to side in front of me as I speak.
“I warned you not to lie to me, didn't I?”
I don't need to be looking at her to know she's gone stiff. I can feel the tension radiating off her in waves.
“What file is missing from that drive, Toren?”
At the sound of her actual name—not Tink, not fairy, but Toren—she gasps.
I finally look up and see the terror in her eyes. Her face has gone pale. Her hands tremble at her sides.
I hear a commotion from the sidelines but pay it no mind. My men will hold those two fuckers back while I deal with this.
“Answer me!” I roar, the sound echoing through the rink.
She lets out a frightened sound and steps back, but her feet slip on the ice. Cas darts his arm out to steady her.
I shoot him an icy glare that promises violence, and he drops his hold on her instantly.
“I—Xaden... I don't—”
“Lie to me again!” I yell, my voice cracking with fury and something that feels dangerously close to heartbreak. “I fucking dare you, Toren.”
Tears gather in her eyes, spilling over and tracking down her cheeks.
I draw my stick back and line up my shot.
The puck soars past her head with enough force that it blows her hair back. She screams and drops into a crouch, covering her head with her arms.
I'm already lining up another shot.
“I'll fucking kill you!” Carnage's roar cuts through the air, raw and desperate.
I flick my gaze to him and smirk, though there's no humor in it. “Get in line, fucker. It's kill or be killed in this world.”
I turn back to Toren, who's crouching on the ice, shaking with fear.
“Xaden—” Cas starts.
I snap my gaze to him, and the look alone has him clamping his mouth shut.
“Want to take her spot, Caspian?” I taunt, my voice deadly soft.
His features pull taut. His jaw clenches as he studies me, trying to gauge how far I'll go.
I let him see everything. The monster. The madness. The barely leashed violence.
Without taking my eyes off him, I take another shot.
Toren screams as the puck sails over her head, close enough that she feels the air displacement.
The shouts from the wonder twins stop. The rink falls into suffocating silence.
I feel the shadows I love so much cling to me like a second skin as I drop every mask, every pretense, and allow my friend, my second, my brother, the man who helped me claw my way out of the hole I was in when I thought my world had ended see everything.
Devastation.
Fear.
Guilt.
Pain.
And worst of all... acceptance.
It's the acceptance that destroys me.
The acceptance in his eyes that tells me he knows exactly what I'm about to do.
I draw my stick back, ready to launch another puck at Toren.
But Cas shifts.
He steps in front of her, blocking my shot.
No words. No grand declaration.
Just that one movement.
And I know.
He knows I know.
Without hesitation, I draw my stick back and launch the puck directly at his calf with brutal precision.
A roar of pain tears from his throat as he drops to his knees.
Toren screams, but it's white noise. All I can hear is the sound of my own heartbeat, the rush of blood in my ears.
“Get up,” I snarl.
He grits his teeth and pushes himself off the ice to stand, favoring his injured leg. I know from the force of that hit that something's broken.
Good.
I meet his gaze and hold it as I line up my next shot.
He stands there, ready to take the punishment. Ready to accept what he deserves for what he's done.
He fucking betrayed me.
I trusted this lying cunt.
After losing Neave and Miles, I never thought I'd find anyone who could come close to filling that void. But Cas forced his way into my world. Took every beating I gave him and kept coming back until I finally listened.
I thought he was telling the truth about wanting to find out the truth about that night.
He became a friend.
Then time passed and he became my… brother.
I never should have trusted this Somerset scum. They're all the same, vile, selfish, treacherous bastards.
“No begging?” I grit out through clenched teeth, drawing my stick back.
He holds his head high and locks his gaze onto mine. I feel the shock rippling through my men around the rink. They never thought Cas would betray me.
None of us did.
“Never,” he growls, his voice steady despite the pain.
I purse my lips and nod, something like respect flickering through the rage.
Then I let the next shot go.
It hits him directly in the gut with devastating force.
He drops to the ice like a sack of shit, groaning in agony.
Toren tries to crawl to him, but my words freeze her in place.
“Do it and I tell Gyle to put a bullet in your side piece's fucking skull.”
She looks up at me with tears streaming down her face, her expression one of absolute horror.
My anger only intensifies at the sight of her.
“You fucking knew!” I scream at her, my voice cracking. “You knew and you lied to protect him!”
She shrinks back, settling on her heels, making herself smaller.
“Save your fucking tears for his funeral.” My voice is ice and venom. “All of you bastards are the fucking same. Lying, scheming pieces of shit.”
I look back at Caspian writhing on the ice and feel every ounce of anger I've kept buried for nearly two years explode through me like a bomb detonating.
“Get the fuck up and take it like a man, you cocksucker, or I'm strapping you to a fucking chair and taking my time with you.”
My voice sounds different even to my own ears—hollow, distant, like it's coming from someone else entirely.
With my anger riding me this hard, I feel nothing. I'm numb to the pain his betrayal has caused. To the disappointment of her lying to me to protect this sack of shit.
I don't wait for him to climb to his feet.
I line up another shot and take it, hitting him right in the chest.
A sound of pure agony erupts from him and sends a dark, twisted shiver of satisfaction down my spine.
I fucking love that sound.
It's the sound of justice.
Of retribution.
Of everything I've been denied for two years finally being delivered.
“Xaden, please!” Toren's voice breaks through my rage. “Please stop! You're going to kill him!”
“Good,” I say flatly, already lining up another shot. “That's the point.”
And as I draw my stick back, ready to deliver another blow to the man who was my brother, I realize something with devastating clarity…
The monster isn't something I became.
It's something I've always been.
I just finally stopped pretending otherwise.