Chapter 32
CHAPTER 32
R elief flooded my system as I exited the art building. It was officially Thanksgiving break. My professor accepted my self-portrait with a glowing review. It was the rawest painting I’ve ever done. I couldn’t hide my work anymore. Creating reproductions was easy, but it wasn’t satisfying. It was a disservice to myself and my art to keep up the charade. My work reflected my feelings, and it was okay to let other people see my turmoil and grief. It was relatable. The grade wouldn't be official until after the break, but I’d passed.
I looked forward to my week off. Scrimmaging last night felt good, but my muscles were sore. Keeping up with a group of D1 hockey players isn’t something I’m accustomed to. I thought I was handling my one-on-one time with Hunter well, but playing against his entire line was an entirely different level. Not to mention, those guys truly were something special on the ice. I always heard the rumors about how well they gelled, but to be on the ice with them and see it in action was otherworldly. A moment came when I stopped to watch them play. Axel, Hunter, and Crew skated ahead and passed the puck back and forth without looking. They were supern aturally aware of each other. Jackson hung back with me and we watched, mesmerized by the magic we were privy to.
The guys were still reeling after Hunter and Cooper’s altercation. My stomach soured remembering Hunter’s recollection of Cooper’s comments. A small voice had reminded me this wasn’t Cooper’s first transgression. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Hunter. We were so close to pulling off the Team USA try-out; it wasn’t worth it. Later that night, Hunter sent a text saying that the guys had settled the matter. Now this morning, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I made a mistake keeping that information to myself. At least everyone would forget by the time the break ended. Hopefully.
True to his word, Jackson took off this morning to spend the holidays with Axel. Hunter and I briefly discussed it, and he stayed behind with me. His parents opted to take a cruise over break since Hunter will play in a tournament immediately after Thanksgiving day. I looked forward to some downtime. Hunter put so much time and effort into my hockey dream and I devised a surprise for him tonight to show my appreciation.
I shot off a quick text to Kennedy, checking in on her travels home. It still bothered me how wooden she was about the situation. Worry gnawed at my gut. Something wasn’t right there. She responded by saying she was elbows deep in yeast. Her Mom and her make the stuffing from scratch every year, including the bread. I shuddered at the thought. There is no way I could pull something like that off. Whoever put a ring on this finger would have to realize they were getting the Tuoey Thanksgiving from The Blind Side . Everything catered.
Hunter was waiting for me outside the quad. He leaned against the driver’s side of his truck, his baseball hat on backward and a lazy smile on his face. I took a minute to admire my boyfriend. Boyfriend . The thought of it still made me giddy. Hunter St. James was the epitome of male specimens. How di d I spend the last few years ignorant of him? He had me convinced that I was nothing more than Jackson’s annoying twin when he felt so much more. His abrupt shift in sentiment should scare me, but it turned me into a pile of molten goo. I was all in for Hunter. Signed, sealed, and delivered. I am every bit his, as he is mine.
“You coming, Sunshine?” He called.
Smiling, I hitched my bag up on my shoulder. I leaned in to give him a quick peck before we climbed into his truck. Hunter turned it over and shifted into drive. “You ready for the next few days together?”
“I can’t wait.” That wasn’t a lie either. The last year of my life, I was a hermit, hiding from the outside world. My idea of downtime included a fifth of tequila and whatever pills I could siphon from Jackson. I wasted away this year, and I didn’t want to do that anymore. Hunter gripped my hand in his and brought my knuckles to his lips. His eyes never left the road as he lightly kissed each one individually.
“If you could live in any time period, what would it be?” His question took me off guard. It was off the wall and I raised my eyebrow at him. Hunter’s eyes remained forward, not bothering to look at my incredulous expression.
“One where I would have rights?”
Hunter rolled his eyes. “Okay smart ass, let’s be hypothetical here. Answer the question.”
The gravelly sound of his voice made my thighs quiver. A small zing shot up my spine and I fought off an inevitable shiver. I hummed for a minute, trying to pinpoint what period in history I would want to live through. It had to be a time when there was good art, and I struggled between my choices.
“The twenties, I would love to be submerged in the period of Picasso and Hemingway. Could you imagine Paris?? So much art and literature pouring out of its orifices.” I smiled at the thought of it .
Hunter’s smile grew as he rubbed his hand over his jaw. “Would you ever go to Paris?”
I scoffed, “Sure, after I rob a bank.”
“We could go one day.”
I turned my body to evaluate him. He was getting deep for a drive to Hockey House. We planned to stay there tonight since Hunter had one last morning skate before officially being on break.
“Why are we suddenly getting so serious? Did something happen?”
Hunter shook his head and gave me a withering look. “I don’t know about you, Sunshine, but I am all in with you. I don’t want to just know your favorite color or book. I want to know every crevice of your mind. What are the things you desire that you only tell yourself? What fears haunt your dreams and drive your anxiety to keep you up all night?”
I sucked in a gasp of air at his declaration. He continued before I could respond.
“I want it all. Your mornings, your afternoons, your midnight miseries, and twilight tranquilities. I’m consumed by you and it still isn’t enough. I want to drown in you.”
We sat in silence for a beat before I demanded, “Pull over.”
“What?”
“Pull. Over.” I unbuckled my seatbelt, and Hunter veered to the side of the road. Before he could put the gear shift into park, I straddled his lap. My eyes bore into his. My fingers twisted into the curls of hair at the nape of his neck. The silky texture was surprising. He didn’t come off as the type to care about hair conditioners.
Hunter’s hands landed on my hips, and his eyes smoldered, eradicating any previous shock he had. “Woah,” he whispered.
A smile spread across my face, “I am not the best at expressing how I feel, I am much better at expressing my feelin gs in a more ... visual aspect.” Hunter’s eyes darkened in understanding.
I captured his lips against my own. Just like his hair, his lips were surprisingly soft and plush. Hunter’s cock hardened against my groin, causing me to preen internally.
I ground my hips against his own and Hunter hissed. “Fuck, Maci, I will fuck you against this steering wheel if you keep moving like that.”
My lips began trailing the length of Hunter’s neck, leaving soft kisses in their wake. Sandalwood infiltrated my senses, creating a heady cloud of desire. My hands ran down the length of his abdominal muscles. I loved the way each ridge felt as I made my way to his jeans.
“This is my treat, we can save that for a rainy day.”
Shifting off his lap, I kneeled on the bench seat next to him. I made fast work of undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants. Hunter grunted when his cock freed from his boxer briefs. My eyes marveled at his hardened length. There was no doubt that I would choke on it, but I wasn’t the type of girl to shy away from a challenge. I pumped my hand up and down a few times causing Hunter to groan and close his eyes.
My head came down and I dragged my tongue from his base and up and around his girth. A mixture of salt and man tickled my taste buds as I enveloped him in my mouth. Hollowing my cheeks, I pulled him as far back as possible.
“Fuck, Sunshine, just like that,” He grunted fisting my hair in his hands. The sting on my scalp was invigorating. Hunter gripped my hair tighter, guiding my head as I began to deep-throat him.
Inhaling through my nose, I attempted to relax my gag reflex. My head bobbed up and down, tears pooled with one rogue drop escaping. Hunter let me set the pace for the first few minutes.
“Baby, I’m going to fuck your mouth now.”
He wasn’t asking, and anticipation sent shivers down my spine. My core was molten with desire. Hunter’s grip intensified as he began to drive his hips into my mouth. Hunter continued that way, fucking my mouth without abandon. He groaned in pleasure and I hummed my approval. Tears fell in earnest down my cheeks, making my mascara run in dark rivulets.
“I’m going to cum down that sweet throat and you’re not going to waste a damn drop.”
Nodding was difficult while Hunter’s hips slapped my mouth. His entire body tensed, freezing for a moment before the warm salty tang of his cum coated my throat. I lapped up every drop as he cooed his approval. Hunter’s grip on my hair became lax, and he pulled out of my mouth. I ran my tongue along his length one last time before moving away.
Hunter leaned his head on the back of the headrest. His eyes were half open. “God damn, Sunshine.”
Licking my lips, I gave him a cheshire cat smile. Hunter tucked himself away in his jeans and pulled me back into him.
“No running away.” He growled, crashing his lips into my own.
I loved how Hunter wasn’t the type of guy to refuse to kiss after oral. The few guys I dated were weird about it, but not Hunter St. James. Hunter embraced having the taste of himself on his tongue. We broke away, breathless.
“No running here.” I moved back to my side of the truck, and Hunter shook his head at me, chuckling.
As he pulled back on the road, Hunter dropped a truth bomb. “I am really glad I had you arrested.”
My jaw slacked in disbelief. “What?!”
Hunter laughed. “If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
My brain must be short circuiting. “You do realize that will be on my record forever, right? Even though you didn’t press charges?” I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him a pointed look.
Hunter shook his head. “No, it won’t.” He was so confident in his response. How could he know that? Even if I’d been released, the county kept records of all intakes. I had a mugshot taken for Christ’s sake! I bet if I googled my name I would find it too.
“Why are you so confident about that? Are you a lawyer now, too?”
“No, I know the cop who arrested you. It was all fake.” I was going to go to jail now, because I was going to murder him. I slapped his arm hard, and he laughed, swatting me away.
“You KNEW him?!” My voice shot up several octaves. I wish I had a time-turner like in Harry Potter because Hunter St. James did not deserve the blow job I just gave him. What the fuck was wrong with him? It was bad enough he had had me arrested, but to find out the whole thing was a hoax?
“Let me out of the truck.”
Hunter could spend Thanksgiving break alone. I had a date with Damon Salvatore, my vibrator, and a pint of ice cream. I could forgive a lot of things in life, but I drew the line at blackmail and extortion, because that is exactly what Hunter did. My heart thundered in my ears with the realization. Everything that had occurred as an outcome to my night in jail—our agreement, the skating, our relationship. It all hinged on a lie.
“Maci, come on, you were out of control. I was trying to help.” Hunter kept driving, and I contemplated throwing myself out of the moving vehicle.
“Hunter. That is so many levels of fucked up. I don’t even want to speak to you right now.”
How could we go from the highest of highs to the lowest lows?
“Sunshine.” He looked remorseful, but I knew better. Hunter had always been calculated in his actions. Even before, when Jackson and he would pull pranks on me during school breaks. Every detail he had masterminded and carefully curated to cause the most humiliation possible. Was this all just another elaborate prank? Dread dropped like a stone in my stomach. Being a punchline to his ruse might just be what breaks me once and for all.
“Was our relationship a part of the hoax?” I croaked.
Maybe I was flying off the handle a little, but I had too much shit happen to me in the last year to deal with someone else’s games. So help me God, if Jackson knew about all of this, I was done. No more puppy dog eyes, or donuts begging for forgiveness. I would transfer and be done with it all.
“Maci, no.” Hunter pulled the car over again. A small part of me hoped no one had noticed the erratic driving pattern. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, it dissipated. Hunter tried to grab my hand and pull me back into him, but I pushed him away.
“I want the truth. What the hell is all of this to you? Another prank? A game? Pity?” The familiar sting of tears built behind my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
“Baby, I just poured my heart out to you. I wouldn’t tell just anyone about those things. You’re it for me.”
I manually unlocked his passenger door, jumping out of the truck. I needed a few minutes to process. Hunter was quick to follow me.
“Maci, I will haul your ass back in the truck. Get back here!”
We parked along a wooded trail and I took off towards it. At the minimum, he wouldn’t be able to use his truck to follow me. I raised my arm in the air and gave him the middle finger. He grumbled and the crunch of dead leaves filled the air as he started to follow behind me.
“Read the room, Hunt, I need a minute.” My eyes darted from side to side, trying to decide if I could make a break for it or not. The woods got thicker the further back they went, there was a better chance of Hunter tripping than me outrunning him. It would be worth a shot, though.
“Woman, I will chase you to the ends of this earth. Get back in the truck.” Hunter’s voice loomed closer, and I whipped around to face him. “Do you know how fucked up it is that you had me spend the night in jail?” My hands crossed over my heaving chest.
At least Hunter looked sheepish about his actions. “I would have you spend a thousand nights in jail if it meant you were still here with me.”
“What do you mean? I would’ve still been here, Hunt.”
He shook his head and looked down at his shoes, “No, Sunshine, you wouldn’t. Think about it. What did you want that night? You had your keys in your hand and a look on your face that still haunts my nightmares.”
My brow furrowed, trying to recall the fuzzy details of the post-fight mess.
“I wanted to disappear.”
“I didn’t want you to.”
Realization dawned on me and tears leaked down my cheeks. Rock bottom is an ugly place, and I’m catapulting straight there. Suicide was an idea I flirted with four months before the fight. There was a twisted game I liked to play when I was alone. Dark thought, take a shot, dark thought? Run a razor blade over an inconspicuous piece of skin. Dark thought, take another shot. Rinse and repeat. Anything to get that weightless numb to spread and quiet my mind. There were plenty of nights I thought about how a little more pressure over a specific piece of anatomy could make everything go away. Weightless forever.
“Maci, no one saw your destructive behavior for what it really was, but I did.” Hunter hit his chest over his heart with his fist. “You, more than anyone, deserve to be on this earth. There isn’t a world I want to live in that doesn’t have you in it. Why do you think I call you Sunshine?”
I shrugged, “Because my last name is Rae?”
He chuckled darkly, “No, Maci, because you are the light in the dark of my world. You are the one person who makes me want to be more and do more. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you and I will keep loving you until I take my last breath. I couldn’t just stand by and watch you disappear on me. I did what I needed to do to ensure that I could have this moment right here with you. Please. Don’t be mad at me for forcing you to still be breathing.”
He walked towards me and forced me into his arms. I laid my head on his chest and sobbed. He shushed me and murmured sweet platitudes in my ear.
Looking up into his storm gray eyes, his emotions were on display like a textbook. Fear. Turmoil. Regret. Love.
He pushed my hair out of my face and cupped my cheeks. “You don’t need to say anything back to me, but I meant every word I said today and more.” He kissed my forehead. “Let’s go back to the house, Sunshine.”
I let him lead me back to the truck and climbed back in with him. He didn’t force me to discuss our argument or his declarations as we drove. It was as if the entire thing hadn’t happened. Hunter hummed along to the radio, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. The silence was comfortable. There was no need for words or reassurances. We had left everything out in the woods.
I owed my life to Hunter St. James. There’s no doubt that without his interventions that I would be in a grave right next to my father. Now, more than ever I knew that I didn’t want that. There was a lot more for me to do in this world and I would do it all with Hunter St. James by my side.