20. X’s And O’s
X’s And O’s
TALIA
Macklin opens the door to his car and helps me inside it.
I look around us while he runs around the hood to get into the driver’s seat. It doesn’t look like there’s anyone watching.
Right before turning on the engine, Macklin takes my hand and brings my knuckles to his lips. His blue eyes are bright right now, the blue prevailing over the stormy gray.
There’s a beat of silence as Macklin drives away from the Human Studies building, and I use that time to try to calm my erratic heartbeat. The contact of his lips caused a warm sensation to spread all over my skin.
“So how do you think you did on that quiz?” I break the silence.
“I think I did ok.” He turns briefly to look at me. “Thanks to your flashcards.”
That warmth increases under his gaze. “I feel really bad that we couldn’t find any time to study together. We’ll have to plan some study sessions in addition to the group ones. I haven’t forgotten that you bought my books in exchange for help with this class.”
He nods. “Sounds good.”
I was so distracted by how handsome he is and by his relaxed confidence as he controls his car that I wasn’t paying attention to where we were going.
Rather than driving off campus, he’s taken a turn into Greek Row.
“Did you forget something at home?” I ask when he parks in the Gamma House driveway.
“No. Why?”
“Maybe I misunderstood what you said. I thought you wanted to have lunch.”
Macklin’s lips curl up in a barely there smile that reminds a lot of the way his brother smiles. “The house is almost empty at this time of day, since almost everyone is either at the dining hall or going from one class to the other. I thought we could order takeout and get some studying done.”
“Cool. I really want to start researching this garum and see how hard it’s going to be to replicate—”
The words die in my mouth as his smile widens just a little and his eyes darken as they descend to look at my lips.
For some reason, I don’t think the studying Macklin is talking about has anything to do with our class.
He promised to teach me how to get and keep a man’s interest in bed in exchange for helping him with Gen. By the way he’s looking at me; I think that’s what he was talking about just now. I’m going to be the student rather than the teacher.
Like he did before, Macklin comes to open the door for me before talking my hand and guiding me into the frat house.
This time I’m one hundred percent sure that no one is around to see it. I guess he takes this fake boyfriend role seriously and likes to stay in character.
We don’t bump into anyone as he guides me to the top floor of the three-story mansion.
“This is me.” He stops in front of the first door after the presidential suite. “After you.”
“Your room is next to Tucker’s?” Nerves make me stiffen as he unlocks his bedroom door.
His room is pretty large and fairly tidy. It’s a good thing. Walking into a pig sty would be off-putting, but so would be if the place was immaculate.
The comforter on the king sized bed that takes up most of one wall is pulled back, but you can see that someone slept in that bed last night.
The desk tucked beneath the window on the opposite side is empty except for a few books stacked neatly next to a table lamp.
There are some clothes slung over the back of the office chair by the desk, but the carpeted floor is clean and free from clothes or other debris.
A laundry hamper is standing by the only door inside the room, and a chest of drawers that matches the dark wood of the bed and desk completes the room's furniture.
“It’s a nice room.” I comment, suddenly feeling the need to fill the silence between us.
“I like it.” He shrugs. “The only downside is that I don’t have my own bathroom like your brother. But this room faces the front of the house and not the backyard. Which means it’s way quieter if there’s a party raging outside all night.”
That’s definitely a perk I can appreciate. “I hope my brother isn’t too noisy as a neighbor.” I muse.
“He’s fine. But the best thing about this house is that the walls are quite thick. You have no idea how grateful I was for that last year when I had a room between Vaughn’s and Chance Hunter's. They’re two noisy motherfuckers.”
“Weren’t they freshmen? How did they get a room in the house? Zeta Theta Beta doesn’t house freshmen.”
Macklin explains. “Tell me about it. The rules should be the same for everyone, but you know how this shit works. Vaughn’s father is one of the richest alumni and former Gammas, and Hunter’s father is the town mayor. Hard to say no to them.”
I nod. “Yeah, I get it. I’ve known Vaughn since we were kids. He isn’t a bad guy if you get past all his crazy antics. But he was definitely born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”
“In his mouth?” He chuckles. “More like where the sun don’t shine. Colsen has been mentoring him on the ice, and he’s also his big brother. He had one hell of a time keeping him out of trouble. Anyway, let’s order some food. I’m sure we’ll be hungry soon. What would you like?”
I’m so nervous that I doubt I’ll be able to eat anything, but I go along with it. Having grown up with a hockey player, I know the insane amount of calories these guys need to consume to stay alive.
“You can choose. I’m good with anything except fish.”
Macklin lifts his eyes from his phone to look at me. “I’m warning you, Talia. Never let me choose a meal unless you want to eat pizza every day.”
“I love pizza. Who doesn’t?”
“Believe it or not, your brother and the rest of my roommates during training camp were sick of me ordering pizza twenty-four-seven.”
His smile is contagious. “As long as it’s decent pizza and there aren’t any anchovies on it, I’m good.”
Macklin’s face is intent as he places the food order on his phone.
He’s so handsome that I can barely take it.
I’m thankful he doesn’t know that I’ve spent the last three years looking at him from a distance and thinking that he’s the hottest man I’ve ever seen.
Genevieve complained about him constantly, and at first, that made me think that, like a lot of hot guys, he was probably full of himself.
But once I started to get to know Gen better, I realized the problem wasn’t Macklin but her crazy expectations.
She didn’t want a boyfriend but a robot who would do her bidding without question.
And Gen is often impossible to please. She even finds faults in Giovanni, the Zeta House virtual butler.
“Lunch is ordered. It might take a while since this is the lunch rush. But I guess we could use this time to start on our lessons.”
While I was looking at him, I was leaning against his desk. Macklin closes the distance between us with a couple of strides.
He comes so close that the tips of our shoes are touching. “So where should we start? What areas do you think you need more help with?”
Oh, fuck. Heat rises to my face, and the more I realize I’m blushing, the more my tongue feels glued to the top of my mouth.
What was I thinking when I asked him to help me with this? In the heat of the moment, I told him that I was inexperienced. But I never got into the details of how inexperienced I really am.
When I don’t say anything, Macklin takes my hand in his. He’s so close that his breath is fanning over my lips when he speaks. “Talia, what’s up? Did you change your mind?”
Macklin
Please don’t change your mind.
My heart is beating so loudly in my ears that I almost miss when she says the one word I was hoping to hear.
“No.”
I squeeze her hand. “Then what’s wrong? You need to talk to me, or this isn’t going to work. I can show you anything you want to learn. There is nothing I wouldn’t do with you. But it has to be what you want. That’s what I’m here for.”
She’s blushing. She’s adorable, but I realize that she’s embarrassed.
“Hey,” I coax her to look at me, lifting her chin with a gentle finger. “This is a safe space. A judgment-free zone. Whatever you say and do will stay between us. You have my word.”
Her teeth come out to torment her bottom lip, and I have to stop myself from covering her mouth with mine and kissing her until she forgot why she’s embarrassed.
I hope she knows she can trust me. I would do anything for her. Even watching her walk into the sunset with my brother when this is all said and done. It’s the last thing I want, of course. But if that is what makes her happy, I would.
“Look,” I say as gently as possible when she keeps looking at me with those crystal clear, big blue eyes.
The green in her irises almost disappears when she’s nervous.
“If you aren’t sure where to start, let’s begin with the things you like.
What makes you come? There’s nothing sexier than a partner who’s enjoying themselves in bed. ”
Her eyelids slam shut for her second, and Talia exhales a shuddering breath. “This is part of the problem, Macklin. I don’t even know what I like.”
I shake my head, confused. “If something makes you orgasm, then we can assume you like it. At least on a physical level.”
The pink on her cheeks deepens, turning crimson. “Remember, you said no judgment, ok?” she pleads.
“Absolutely. So, what makes you orgasm?”
She exhales again, her gaze slipping to our feet. “I have no idea. I’ve never had one.”
I grow more confused with every word that comes out of her mouth. “I’m not sure I understood you correctly.”
Her eyes come back up and she looks at me, redder than a tomato. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve never had an orgasm. Not even close.”
The question slips out before I can consider her words a little longer. “You mean none of the guys you’ve been with have been able to make you come?”
The answer startles me. “No. I mean, never.”
“Not even by yourself?” I can’t help but ask.
“No. And while I haven’t been with many guys, I tried a few times by myself, but nothing happens. Toys feel weird and intimidating, and touching myself feels uncomfortable.”
I need to understand more about this. “Ok. And just to be clear, did your previous partners take care of your clit while they were fucking you, or did they just get what they wanted?”
Her hand is still in mine, and she’s shaking when she sets the record straight.
“No, Macklin. No one has ever… I haven’t…
God. I’ve kissed two guys before you kissed me the other night.
One in high school and one a few weeks ago at an end of summer bonfire.
Clothes never came off. I gave the high school guy a blow job, but that was it.
I thought we would date, but after we hooked up for the first time, he ghosted me. ”
“I’m sorry. I obviously don’t know the guy, but that was a real asshole move.”
Talia’s laugh sounds more sad and frustrated than happy.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t just his fault. Tucker heard about us hooking up.
He was a college freshman my senior year of high school, so I thought that not going to the same school, guys would feel safer interacting with me.
But he still had spies at school. His teammates reported back to him everything I did, and he scared that guy to death.
After Tucker got to him, he pretended he didn’t even know me. ”
Tucker’s overprotective behavior when it comes to Talia isn’t a surprise. The first thing he tells any new teammates is to stay away from his sister. And I was pinned against my bedroom door the second he saw the video of me and Talia kissing at that party.
“We don’t have to worry about Tucker,” I say softly. “I spoke to him. I even kissed you in front of him in class and I’m still alive, so he’s fine with us seeing each other.”
Talia sighs. “Yeah, but only because he knows this is all fake. And only because he thinks all we’re going to do is kiss. If he knew that we’re hooking up, your life would be in danger.”
“That’s a little dramatic.” I reassure her, running my knuckles over her cheekbone. “He can’t kill me or maim me, or he’ll have to explain why to Coach Harrison. Trust me, that’s a better threat than the law.”
She doesn’t look reassured. Her teeth come back to torment her bottom lip.
“Believe me, Talia.” I soothe. “He isn’t going to be a problem.”
She shakes her head. “It isn’t Tucker I’m worried about.”
“What is it, then?”
“You said there’s nothing sexier than someone who’s enjoying themselves. The few times I tried to make myself come, I got nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. What if I’m broken?”
The distraught look on her face makes me determined to do anything in my power to make her happy. “You aren’t broken, Talia. Most things take some practice; I should know. Do you think I was born with perfect stick handling skills and as one of the fastest skaters in the NCAA?”
The corners of his lips quirk up for a second. “Yes?” She teases.
“Believe me, it took years of practice. If you ever meet my parents, my mom will insist on showing you old videos of me in my first pair of skates. I wasn’t even four.
I fell more than I stayed upright. But I was determined and eventually, by the time Becks got his first pair of skates, I was a pocket size lightning. ”
Her pretty face returns serious. “What if, even with your determination, I still can’t get there? What if you get bored and give up on me?”
I could never get bored with you, and I would never give up on you.
You don’t understand. I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you.
I was so smitten with you. It was during a break with Gen, and I thought it was fate that put you on my path the second I got on campus, and I was single.
But you didn’t see me that way. To you, I was just one of your brother’s freshmen teammates.
It took me two years to get the chance to get close to you, and I won’t waste this opportunity to be more than your fake boyfriend. I’ll make you feel good if it was the last thing I do.
I don’t say any of it out loud.
Talia is already nervous, and the last thing I want is to make the situation worse.
“I’m not going to get bored. You’re beautiful and you’re awesome, Talia.
And judging by that kiss the other night, we have really good chemistry.
” Crazy good chemistry. “All you have to do is relax and be honest if what I do doesn’t feel good.
We’ll find what works together and we’ll build from there. ”
Her eyes are huge when she nods. “Ok.”
I take one step closer. Our chests are almost touching. “Can I kiss you now?”
She nods, and I lower my head slowly, angling my face so that my lips are hovering over hers.
This kiss feels important. Last time, I didn’t ask for her permission. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. This time I know she wants to kiss me too. And I have to make sure she’s never going to forget this kiss. I already know I never will.
My hand goes up to cup her delicate jaw, and we’re so close I can almost taste her.
The ringtone of my phone makes me crawl out of my skin, and I jump away from her. “It’s the pizza. Let me go and answer the door. Don’t leave, please.”