Chapter 11
11
Christian
M y phone rings as I drive back to the hotel, and I stupidly think it might be Maya calling me to come back to the house and stay the night, even though I know that’s a long shot.
I pull into a gas station on the side of the road and finally look at my phone. A missed call from Luke appears on the screen, one of my Bobcats teammates and closest friends off the ice.
“Yo, where the hell have you been all week?” he says when he answers my return call. “I haven’t seen you working out and I’ve been texting you all afternoon without a response.”
“Sorry, man,” I tell him. “I’ve been busy. And I’m not in town. I’m actually up in Bethesda.”
“Bethesda? Like Maryland?”
“Yeah, it’s a suburb near D.C. I drove up here a few days ago.”
“What in the world are you doing up there? Reliving our loss?”
“Nah, I haven’t even thought much about the championships lately,” I admit. Which is a good thing. “I’m up here visiting…someone.”
“Someone like who? Who would Christian Riley, a man who fucking loathes driving anywhere, even in his fun, fancy sports cars, be willing to travel that far to see?”
I shove my fingers through my mussed hair, missing Maya’s fingers tugging on it. “It’s a long story.”
“It’s a long story?” he echoes me.
“Yes.”
“I thought I was your best fucking friend. Give me the long or short version, but I want the deets.”
“Fine,” I huff, praying I’m not making a mistake by talking about any of this. “Can you keep a few secrets?”
“Can I keep a few secrets? I know you didn’t just ask me that, asshole.”
“Right. Sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick, but this isn’t just my secret,” I explain to him.
“Okay?”
“Well, I just recently, like during the playoffs actually, found out that I have a son.”
There’s a long moment of silence on the other line. “Aw, fuck, man. Some girl got you thinking you’re her baby daddy?”
“No, it’s not like that. He’s definitely my son,” I assure him, even though I haven’t had a DNA test. “His name is Finley, and he’s about to turn five.”
“Five weeks old?”
“No, five years old.”
“Goddamn. So why are you just finding out about him now?”
“You know how Preston Lawrence kept trying to murder me on the ice every game?”
“That’s one scary ass dude,” Luke remarks.
“He is, and he used to be my best friend when we were playing in the minor leagues together. Then I started dating his sister Maya and it ended badly. I knew she was pregnant, but didn’t think she would keep the baby since she was nineteen and just started college. I thought that’s why Preston hated me, you know, because I did something stupid that hurt her and knocked her up.”
“He hated you because she had your kid?”
“Yeah, she had my kid and her and Preston have been raising him. Maya and Finley both lived with Preston until he recently moved to Greensboro.”
“I heard the news. Couldn’t believe Lawrence was actually coming to play with us.”
“Well, he is.”
“And you’re fine with having him try to kill you from the bench?”
“No, it’s not going to be like that anymore. At least I hope not. We’re good now that he finally told me the truth, and I told him Maya dumped me way back when. Maya wasn’t too happy about him spilling shit to me without telling her, but we’re figuring things out…”
“So, you’re up in Bethesda, figuring things out with your baby mama and your son?”
“Pretty much. I’m spending time with Finley all week, getting to know him. But he still doesn’t know that I’m his father.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve got to prove I can be reliable and a good role model before Maya will tell him.”
Luke makes a grumbling sound of protest.
“What?” I ask him. “She’s not wrong. I up and left her…more than once. And I’ve slept with a lot of women, very publicly. There’s no reason she should just take my word that I can be a good father to Finley.”
“I don’t know, man. He’s your kid. Your. Kid . I would’ve been furious if one of my ex’s kept my son from me for all those years, refusing to tell my kid the truth.”
“Maya will tell Finley, eventually. I can be patient with this, even if I fucking hate it.”
“Let me guess—your easy agreement is all thanks to the fact that you’re coughing up lots of hotshot hockey player cash?”
“God no. It’s nothing like that. She hasn’t asked me for a dime since she has Preston.”
“Then what is it? You aren’t still fawning over her after all this time, are you?”
“I loved her,” I tell him. “And I messed it all up. She ended things weeks before the pregnancy. So, this summer isn’t just about getting to know Finley. I also want Maya to trust me enough to give me another chance with her.”
“And you’ve just forgiven her for keeping him from you this long?”
“What choice do I have? I don’t blame her. She didn’t want me coming and going out of his life and upsetting him. He’s a sweet kid. Innocent in all this, you know? And if things work out, I’m hoping she’ll move to Greensboro before school starts in the fall. Mostly to be close to her brother, who helped raise Finley, but also so I can see them more often.”
“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full.”
“I guess I do. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA.”
“How long are you going to be up there groveling in Maryland?” Luke asks.
“However long it takes,” I admit.
“Well, good luck. I’m here if you need to talk. But just remember that you have every right to see your son whenever the hell you want.”
“I’m not going to take Maya to court over custody. He belongs with her. She’s a good mother and all he’s ever known.”
“You should have a chance to be a good father to him too, though, not just on her timeline.”
“I’m getting there. And we’ve been closer lately.”
“How close?”
“We’re not sleeping together, like at night or any other way. But we have been fooling around the past two nights, which has been so damn good.”
“And you’re ready and willing to give up all other women for this one?”
“Yeah, I am. I would have years ago if she hadn’t ended things.”
“Well, good for you, man. I hope she’s worth it. I just hate that I’m losing my wingman this summer.”
“You’ll be fine with Tyler and Jason as backup wingmen,” I assure him.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll let you go handle your shit. Call me when you’re back in town so we can get in some training together.”
“Will do,” I easily agree before ending the call.
While I wish my best friend was a little more understanding about the situation, it also helps to have an outside opinion about Finley and Maya.
I guess I’m not wrong to have been angry at her for keeping him from me.
At the same time, nothing good will come from me holding on to that anger. Not when I want to prove to her that I can be a good father to Finley and a good man for her.
It’s my fault Maya didn’t call me when I up and left town and she decided not to end the pregnancy, and when she was in labor, I was out partying with friends. That’s why I know that I don’t really have anyone but myself to blame for missing out on the first years of my son’s life.
All I know is that I won’t miss out on anything else with him ever again.