Wraith
Ivy finally gives up trying to keep the blanket dry.
She gets to her feet beside the fire, lets it slide off her shoulders, and calls toward the river, “I’m going to try to get signal again before Thane, Plague, and Whiskey go full Mission Impossible and rappel out of a helicopter.”
Valek and I stop fighting.
Well. I stop. He keeps trying to sneak up on me while I keep my hand planted on his chest, ignoring his rough laughter as my eyes stay fixed on Ivy.
She gathers the blanket under one arm. "My last text went through a few hours ago, and knowing Whiskey, he’s already drawn up a rescue plan."
Then she walks toward the tent.
Completely fucking naked.
We both stare after her in silence as the tent flat rustles shut behind her.
For a while, the only sound is the calm river around us and the wind in the trees. We’re standing waist-deep in the dark water, and the only light out here comes from the moon now looming above us and the embers of the campfire.
Valek pushes his wet hair away from his face. "Fuck," he grits out under his breath with a low, dark chuckle. "Do you think she wants us to follow her yet?"
Not sure, I sign, sinking onto my back. Maybe let her text them first.
I look over at the tent again, treading my arms through the water to keep myself afloat. My muscle is dense enough my body sinks every time I let myself completely relax.
The camp lantern comes on inside.
Ivy's silhouette moves around inside the now glowing tent, phone in hand, then sits in the middle.
I watch her looking down at her screen.
I could watch her all night.
Fuck the moon.
"How are you feeling?" Valek asks.
My hands rise above the surface. Fucking terrified, I admit.
Valek watches me for a moment, then vanishes into the dark water.
I sit up, craning my neck.
I don't see him.
He resurfaces nearby, close enough to make me move away, rolling effortlessly on his back to float even though his muscle is even leaner than mine. He moves in the water like a snake.
Like he moves on land, too, I guess.
"What are you afraid of? Marking her?"
Yes. That. Of course. And…
His silver eyes watch my hands.
I keep going. I can’t wear masks anymore. I can’t live like this.
Valek’s expression doesn’t change, but he turns fully toward me, rolling onto his stomach with only his eyes above the water.
I look toward the tent.
The walls glow softly from the lantern inside, Ivy’s shadow moving across the fabric while she searches for her phone. Even from here, I can smell her wild honeysuckle beneath the woodsmoke and wet earth.
My fingers falter. I clench them into fists, forcing the tremor out, then finish.
I horrify everyone who sees me. Even Ivy was shocked at first. And I'm her scent match.
There’s a difference between Ivy loving me when I can give her some semblance of a normal life and Ivy having to give up a normal life every time she's with me outside the pack house.
She’ll be a girl with a monster. Every restaurant, store, arena, and sidewalk will become another place where people stare at her and judge her for choosing me.
I can't do that to her. I can't—
“She chose you. She doesn't expect you to be normal,” Valek says, lifting his head out of the water to speak. "How you look clearly doesn’t matter to her. I've seen how she looks at you. You're beautiful to her."
I turn away.
The river laps against my scarred chest. Cold water slips between my exposed teeth and over the muscles of my jaw, and I swallow, tasting dirt and salt in the river water.
I’m not beautiful to anyone.
Ivy loves me despite my face.
That’s different.
Valek moves closer, water curling around his lean body. “Look.”
I follow his gesture toward the water.
The dark surface between us is smooth again now that we’ve stopped trying to drown each other. Moonlight floats across it. This calmer section of river is like a mirror.
My stomach drops.
I rise to my feet, water pouring off me, and start trudging up toward the shore.
Valek dives and resurfaces between me and the riverside, cutting me off as he straightens to his full height, his drenched hair covering his eyes. "No. Stay."
I glare at him.
He doesn’t move. Instead, he looks down at his own reflection in the water between us.
“I’m not asking you to admire yourself. Lean forward and look.”
My skin prickles with enough anxiety to turn my stomach.
I don't think I've ever looked at my face deliberately. It's always been a fucking accident, always been something I looked away from and blocked out of my mind because I can't process it. My brain doesn't want to accept that's what I look like.
But Ivy does.
Ivy is going to have to all the fucking time.
And so is everyone else, unless BioMuzzle works so well I can lock myself in the loft without risking going fucking insane.
I take one step forward. The ripples spread away from my body and break both our reflections apart. Valek waits for them to settle.
My pulse climbs into my throat.
I lean forward.
The face in the water forms slowly.
If it could be called a face.
Dark hair hangs across my forehead, longer than I usually let it grow. The scar through my right eye pulls at the lower lid, keeping it from closing completely when I blink.
Beneath my cheekbones, there’s nothing human. Only scar tissue, exposed jaw muscle, and the permanent skeletal display of sharpened teeth.
The reflection breathes when I breathe.
Its jaws flex when I swallow.
Moonlight catches every point of my teeth.
My heart sinks so hard it hurts.
I look fucking disgusting.
My hands barely work to sign.
I look dead.
“You look kind.”
I shoot him a look.
He arches one pale eyebrow. “Less kind now.”
Valek looks back down at the water, his own reflection floating beside mine. His features are sharp and pale, unsettlingly perfect even when his hair is soaked flat and his lip is split.
“Your face is intense,” he says. “That’s true. But it isn't anything you can't get used to. The damage doesn’t erase everything else.”
He gestures toward the water.
"You have nice eyes. You can't make an expression otherwise, so they compensate, and they compensate well. They might be the nicest eyes I've seen on an alpha, though I’ll deny saying that if you tell Whiskey. Good bone structure. Strong brow."
I look like a monster, I sign miserably, forcing myself to stare at my reflection and see anything he's seeing at all.
I don't know how Ivy can look at this and…
"You look like you," he says. His mouth twists and he drags his fingers through the water, breaking his reflection apart. “For what it's worth, people perceive me as a monster, too. My face may look acceptable, but what I do with it is wrong."
Wrong?
“My expressions.” He taps two fingers against his temple. "They’re off. Sometimes there’s nothing when there should be something. Sometimes I smile when people expect me to be upset. Anyone who looks long enough can tell there’s something fucked up in my head. People avoid me. As they should."
The words are flat, but his hand drifts over the old burns on his wrist.
“I don’t look kind,” he continues. “You do. Your eyes are kind, Wraith. Even when the rest of your face frightens someone at first, your eyes remain.”
I look back at the water.
The reflection is still there.
Still hideous.
Still mine.
"Ivy sees all of you," Valek says. "And she loves you anyway."
My hands rise.
Us.
Valek goes still, watching me.
She loves US. Both of us. You too.
His gaze drops to the water. For the first time since we came to the river, he looks uncertain.
The bond between him and Ivy is new, but it’s there. I can sense it, even without my own mark on her. He belongs whether he believes it or not.
My reflection shifts as I straighten.
It’s hard to believe her. I know. It's hard for me too.
Valek looks at me again, tilting his head.
I start signing, then stop. Water drips from my hands as I let them fall, watching the tent. Ivy’s shadow crosses one wall, small and warm, holding up her phone like she's still trying to get signal.
I force my hands up again.
Even my own mother didn’t want me. She locked me in a basement because she thought I was a demon. I was in foster care, too. Like you. It's how I met Thane.
Valek steps closer, careful not to touch me. "It seems we share that in common, too," he says, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
Maybe because he thinks I'll snap again.
"I don't know what happened to my mother," he continues. "I was left at a church in a shoebox. No name, no birthday. Nothing."
A shoebox.
Someone abandoned a baby in a fucking shoebox.
My mother locked me in a basement because she thought I was a monster. But at least there were years before that where she held me and called me by a name she chose.
Valek didn't even get that.
"I chose my birthday myself." He grins at me. "Made it Christmas. Why not? I did get less presents, though. Terrible mistake."
I manage a huff.
But the grin doesn't reach his eyes.
I've seen Valek's real smile exactly once, and it was directed at Ivy. This isn't it. This is the mask he wears instead of wearing one on his face.
He floats onto his back again, a pale blur in the water from the neck down. "Your mother is sick, Wraith. What she saw was never you."
I look toward the dark line of trees beyond the river. We’re close to the care facility. Close enough I can feel it looming because I've never come up this way without checking on her.
I can’t walk into that building bare-faced. Even if I could get to her room without terrorizing the other residents, I can’t sit in front of her without a mask while she screams.
Valek studies me for a moment, reading everything I can’t make my hands say.
“Why don’t Ivy and I go?” he asks finally. “We can check on her. You can wait in the car.”
I look at him. Hope hurts almost as much as fear.
You would do that?
“Of course." He smiles. "I'll be a perfect gentleman."
My hands move faster. She's going to be terrible to you.
"I'm expecting that."
The tension around my ribs loosens enough to let me breathe.
Thank you.