15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Preston
“Movie night,” Emmett called, holding up his phone.
I squinted from across the room. “Is that a random wheel?”
He nodded. “I put every classic romcom into this baby. We’re going to spin it, and it’ll decide what we start with.”
Molly walked in wearing baggy pink sweats with white hearts on them and a matching sweatshirt that hung off her shoulder. She had to know she looked cute. She had to know that walking into the room like that stole my breath and made me hard, right?
She smiled at me, waving a little wave before walking over to Emmett.
She must know.
I knew that our date on the ice was her first date, but she had to realize what she was doing to me. There was no way she was oblivious when she smiled at me like that.
Those lips.
I couldn’t look away.
I had been so close to kissing her after I tasted the whipped cream on her lips. That had been dumb to even go that far. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint Emmett. Or take things too fast or too far with Molly.
Shit.
This was too complicated for me.
That was why puck bunnies were more my style.
A nice, mutually agreed upon hook up that left everyone satisfied.
I always knew—and they knew—what we were getting into.
No lingering feelings. No meeting the parents.
No aching for more every time I saw Molly walk into the room.
I had no nerves because I’d never see them again.
But two people ruined that. They weaseled their way into my brain—yes, weaseled. I couldn’t care less how dramatic that sounded. Emmett and Molly had bored their way into my thoughts like little termites and I didn’t have the heart to exterminate them.
No, not exterminate like murder. More like a removal from my life. But I couldn’t do that. And I didn’t want to.
It hurt like hell having them both so close while not being able to do more.
But I had too much to lose.
So, I’d go pop a big bowl of popcorn and plop my happy little ass on the couch in between them, hoping for the barest scraps. A hand graze. A shared laugh. A brush of our shoulders. A snuggle. A sleepy head resting on my arm.
They made me pathetic. I would crawl to them. I would beg on my knees for those scraps if they didn’t drop them on their own.
“Molly, will you do the honors?” Emmett held his phone out to her, and she tapped the screen.
A colorful wheel spun dizzyingly fast before dramatically slowing to nothing. Cheers sounded through his speaker, and he announced, “Bridget Jones’ Diary.”
Molly’s face fell, a flicker of something sad passing through her beautiful eyes before disappearing.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, moving closer to her.
She shook her head, her nostrils flaring as she yanked her lips into a fake smile. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“We can choose another one,” Emmett said, resetting the wheel.
She touched his arm, and I noticed his hand flex like he was barely holding it together. Good. It was his idea to have her move in. It was only right he should suffer, too.
“No. That’s a good one. I haven’t seen it in a while.”
She was lying, but I wasn’t going to force the truth out of her. I had spilled too much on the ice, and I was still feeling raw. I wasn’t sure I could be what she needed at that moment, and she deserved the best.
“I’ll get the popcorn started,” I offered, squeezing her arm as I walked past. Even if I couldn’t be exactly what she needed, I still wanted her to know I was there for her.
“I’ll grab some drinks,” Emmett said, following me into the kitchen. “Get comfy and we’ll get the movie started in a few minutes,” he called over his shoulder.
I grabbed the popcorn maker out of the pantry and plugged it in, jumping when I reached for the popcorn kernels and bumped into Emmett, who was standing way too close for comfort. He wouldn’t be doing that if he knew a brush of his arm set my dick off.
“Should I choose another movie?” His low voice resonated through my chest, and I fired up the popcorn maker, pouring kernels in with intense focus so he wouldn’t see my hands shaking.
“No. She said it was fine, so I’d go with that.”
“What if she just said that to make me feel better, but she—”
“Quit overthinking it.” I patted him on the shoulder, ripping my hand away when my core tightened at the feel of his hard muscles under an unbearably soft pajama shirt.
“You don’t think she’s hiding something?”
“Oh, she’s definitely hiding something, but going against what she says won’t make it better.”
He tilted his head, his green eyes narrowing. “You’re better at this than I gave you credit for.”
“Just because I don’t date doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.” I rolled my eyes and poured more kernels into the whirring machine.
“I don’t think you’re an idiot.” He grabbed the back of his neck and leaned against the counter, the soundtrack of popping kernels not doing a good enough job of drowning out our conversation. “I’ve been married and couldn’t figure that out.”
My chest tightened, and I fussed with the bowl, realigning it even though only a few popped kernels had overshot. Emmett never talked about his marriage to Janie, at least not like this.
I’d lived with him for a while, and anytime she’d been brought up, it had just been surface level. This seemed deeper, but I didn’t have the excuse of being on a first date to steer the conversation away from heavy topics, so I leaned against the counter and looked forward, avoiding his gaze.
“What happened with Janie?” I kept my voice casual, but my heart was thudding hard. I longed for these moments with Emmett, even if they terrified me.
“She said I was suffocating.” He chuckled, but there was too much sadness in the sound of it to even smile in response.
“I thought we were on the same page about everything. But it turns out, when we were sharing our dreams, I was the only one serious about them. I didn’t know that she was just telling me what I wanted to hear, so, when it seemed like a good time to start a family, I asked her if she was ready, and she laughed in my face.
When I was confused, she told me she never wanted kids. ”
Pain twisted his beautiful features and all I could do was whisper, “I’m so sorry.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“If she had been honest from day one, I would have been fine with that, but we had spent so many days dreaming about it, picking out names, choosing paint colors for the nursery. For a while, I thought I’d lost my mind.
But then I came across a lot of the stuff we’d planned together and most of it was in her handwriting.
” He clutched the counter, pushing off it impatiently before he busied himself with grabbing drinks.
“I wouldn’t have even cared if she changed her mind.
I loved her and we could have dreamed of a different future, but after she laughed in my face—”
He sucked in a shaky breath, and I grabbed the bowl, my knuckles turning white as I battled with whether I should hug him.
Holding the bowl like a psychopath won.
“I tried to work things out, but I think she wanted to leave me long before I realized we were over. When I finally stopped fighting it, she packed and left with no argument. I hate fighting, but sometimes I think it would have hurt less if we’d exploded instead of just fading into nothing.”
“Geez, man.” I clutched the bowl so hard the glass rim dug into my fingers. “I’m so sorry.”
Emmett smiled, shutting the fridge with his hip. “Don’t be. You’re a better roommate than she ever was. And if Janie was still here, Molly wouldn’t be. I like the two of you a hell of a lot more than a woman who dreaded seeing me every morning.”
I couldn’t fathom ever tiring of waking up next to Emmett. My face heated as I thought about it and I paused, setting the bowl on the counter.
“Coming?” he asked as he balanced a few water bottles and soda cans in his hands.
He had massive hands. The goalie glove helped him whack the puck out of the air with ease, but it was what he was packing underneath that actually made him miles better than anyone else.
I didn’t need to be thinking about his hands, though.
“Butter. I forgot butter,” I choked out. “Be right there.”
As soon as he was out of the kitchen, I leaned my head against the cold freezer door and groaned. All this talk of love and going on dates and competing with each other was making my crush hard to hide.
And it was growing into something way bigger than a crush.
That scared me.
I pulled out the butter and microwaved a thick slice.
As the numbers counted down, I couldn’t get Molly or Emmett off my mind.
It was affecting my game. It was affecting my sleep.
It was affecting my ability to have a coherent conversation with Emmett.
With Molly, I could flirt, and she’d blush and think I was kidding, but I wasn’t.
Even though she thought I was messing with her, it gave me some sort of outlet to tell her how I felt.
She’d never believe I was telling the truth, though, and that was its own sort of pain.
With the bowl of buttered popcorn firmly in my grasp, I gritted my teeth and shook the nerves out of my whole body. Plastering a smile on my face, I slipped out of the kitchen and into the family room like nothing was wrong.
By the time I settled between Emmett and Molly, I was totally fine. At least on the outside. They’d never guess being sandwiched by the two of them was enough to undo me.
I did my best to focus on the movie and not the way Molly’s arm brushed mine as we fought over the popcorn. Or the way Emmett’s leg flexed against mine whenever he laughed.
Totally fine.
I was totally fine.