16. Dax #2
"How? Boston's three thousand miles away. Tessa's career is here. Her whole life is here."
"Dax, she's a sports psychologist. There are hockey teams in Boston too. Professional athletes everywhere need mental performance coaching."
"You think she'd move across the country for me?"
"I think if you love her as much as you say you do, you should at least give her the chance to make that choice herself instead of making it for her."
Before I can respond, my phone rings. Mom's contact photo fills the screen—the one of her and Emma at my first NHL game, both wearing my jersey and grinning like idiots.
"Hey, Ma."
"There's my superstar," her warm voice fills the room. "How are you, sweetheart?"
"I'm... it's complicated. Actually, I was going to call you. I need some advice."
"Oh boy. What kind of trouble are you in now?"
Despite everything, I smile. "The good kind, maybe. I got an offer today."
"What kind of offer?"
"Boston wants to trade for me. Seven-year contract, captaincy, everything."
The silence on the other end stretches so long I check to make sure the call didn't drop.
"Ma? You there?"
"Boston?" Her voice is barely a whisper. "Your Boston?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, honey." I can hear tears in her voice. "The Boston Bruins want my boy as their captain?"
"That's what they're saying."
"Dax, that's... that's everything you've ever wanted. Ever since you were little and wore that too-big jersey to bed every night."
"I know."
"But you don't sound happy about it."
This is why I love my mother. She can read me through the phone from a thousand miles away.
"It's complicated, Ma. There's someone here. Someone important."
"Someone important how?"
"Someone I'm in love with."
Another long silence. Then: "Oh, you mean that girl. Tell me about her."
So I do. I tell her about Tessa's brilliant mind and sharp wit.
About how she makes me want to be better than I am.
About how she challenges me and supports me and makes every day feel like something worth experiencing.
About how she ran away from me in Vegas and how finding her again felt like the universe giving me a second chance I didn't deserve.
"And you think going to Boston means losing her?" Mom asks when I finish.
"I think being forced to choose between her and hockey means somebody loses. Either I lose the chance at my dream job, or she loses her career here to follow me across the country."
"Dax, can I tell you something?"
"Always."
"When your father left, I thought my world was ending. I thought I'd never be able to handle raising you and Emma alone, never be able to give you everything you needed."
Mom rarely talks about Dad leaving.
"But you know what I learned? Sometimes the scariest changes end up being the best things that ever happen to us. Moving to a smaller house, taking that second job, learning to stand on my own—it all seemed impossible at the time."
"This is different, Ma."
"Is it? It sounds like you're so afraid of making the wrong choice that you're not even considering the possibility that there might not be a wrong choice."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean maybe this isn't about choosing between hockey and love. Maybe it's about whether you trust each other enough to figure out how to make both work."
Jamie gives me a thumbs up from across the room, clearly eavesdropping.
"But what if she won't move? What if she can't?"
"Then you'll deal with that when it happens. But don't make decisions for her, sweetheart. Give her the information and let her choose for herself. That's what people who love each other do—they make big decisions together."
"What if I'm not brave enough to risk it?"
"Dax Kingston, you've been hit in the face with pucks traveling ninety miles per hour and gotten back up. You can handle a conversation with the woman you love."
After I hang up, Jamie looks at me expectantly.
"She thinks I should tell Tessa everything and let her help me figure it out."
"Moms are usually right about this stuff."
"Yeah." I stand up, suddenly needing to move. "I should go see her. Get this conversation over with before I lose my nerve."
"Want me to come with you for moral support?"
"To watch me potentially blow up my relationship? Hard pass."
"Fair enough. But Dax?"
"Yeah?"
"Whatever happens, you've got to live with the choice. Make sure it's one you can look back on without regrets."
The drive to Tessa's apartment gives me too much time to think. By the time I'm standing outside her door, I've rehearsed this conversation at least fifteen different ways, and none of them end with both of us happy.
I knock, and when she opens the door, the sight of her nearly undoes me. She's wearing one of my Renegades hoodies, her hair is piled up in a messy bun, and she's got reading glasses perched on her nose making her even more cute.
"Hey," she says, her face lighting up. "This is a nice surprise. I thought you had dinner plans with Jamie."
"I did. We need to talk."
The way her expression immediately shifts to concern tells me my tone gave me away.
"That sounds ominous. Come in."
Her apartment smells like coffee and the vanilla candle she burns when she's stressed. There are papers spread across her coffee table—job applications, I realize with a sinking heart.
"You're looking for new positions?" I ask, nodding toward the paperwork.
"Just keeping my options open. I want to be prepared." She sits on the couch and pats the space next to her. "What did you want to talk about?"
I remain standing, too restless to sit. "I had a meeting with Harrison today."
"Oh god. What did he want now?"
"To offer me the opportunity of a lifetime." I run both hands through my hair. "Boston wants to trade for me. Seven years, full no-movement clause, and they want me as captain."
Tessa goes completely still. "Boston."
"Yeah."
"Your childhood team. The ones with all the posters in your bedroom growing up."
"You remember that?"
"I remember everything you tell me, Dax." Her voice is quiet. "This is huge. This is everything you've ever wanted."
"There's a catch."
"There always is. What's the catch?"
"Harrison's making it clear that the offer comes with an expectation. That I leave all... complications behind."
Understanding dawns in her eyes. "Complications like me."
"He didn't say it outright, but the message was clear. Clean slate, fresh start, no distractions."
Tessa is quiet for a long moment, staring at her hands. When she looks up, her eyes are bright with unshed tears.
"You have to take it."
"Tessa—"
"No, listen to me." She stands up, and I can see her shifting into that professional mode she uses when she's trying to protect herself. "This is the opportunity you've dreamed about since you were a kid. Captain of the Boston Bruins. That's not something you walk away from."
"I'm not walking away from anything. I'm trying to figure out how to have both."
"Both?" She laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Dax, I can't move to Boston. My whole life is here, my career?—"
"Your career is working with professional athletes. Boston has professional athletes."
"It's not that simple. I'd have to start over completely. New contacts, new reputation, new everything. And after what happened in Seattle..." She shakes her head. "I can't take that risk again."
"So you're telling me to choose hockey over you."
"I'm telling you to choose your future over a relationship that's been nothing but complicated since day one."
The way she says it, like we're just some messy fling instead of the most important thing in my life, makes my chest feel hollow.
"Is that what you think this is? A complication?"
"Isn't it?" Her voice cracks slightly. "We've been sneaking around, lying to people, putting both our careers at risk. Maybe Harrison's right. Maybe we've been so caught up in the excitement of the forbidden that we haven't been thinking clearly."
"That's bullshit and you know it."
"Maybe the universe is giving us a pretty clear sign that this isn't meant to work."
Before I can respond, her phone buzzes on the coffee table. She glances at it, and I watch all the color drain from her face.
"What is it?"
She picks up the phone with shaking hands. "Another text. From the anonymous number."
Air rushes out of my lungs in a single hard punch. "What does it say?"
She shows me the screen:
Saw the captain entering your building again tonight. Story goes live tomorrow unless you want to make this worth my while.
Tessa looks at me with tears streaming down her face. "You have to go to Boston, Dax. Take the captaincy, start fresh, find someone who doesn't come with all this drama."
"Stop talking like this is over."
"Isn't it?" She gestures at her phone. "Someone's about to destroy both our careers anyway. At least if you take the Boston deal, one of us comes out of this okay."
"I'm not leaving you to deal with this alone."
"You're not leaving me. I'm setting you free."
"What if I don't want to be free?"
"Then you're an idiot." She tries to smile, but it comes out broken. "Take the deal, Dax. Be the captain you were born to be. Let me handle the fallout here."
I stare at her, this incredible woman who's trying to sacrifice herself for my dreams, and I realize that every choice Harrison gave me was designed to make us both lose.