18. Aurora
Chapter eighteen
Aurora
I ’m still kicking myself for not just going to the away game using my own funds. The excitement in Jax’s voice when he called after their win was so palpable I could almost taste it. And now, as I pace the living room, waiting for them to return, I’m torn between anticipation and gnawing guilt. I wanted to be there for Jax’s first game with the new team. And if I’m honest with myself - which is becoming an increasingly dangerous habit - I wanted to be there for Aiden too.
But now that the game’s over, I wish even more so that I could’ve been there to celebrate. Jax calls me after the game, his voice full of the kind of excitement that bleeds through the phone. The next game isn’t one I’m willing to miss.
Standing in this kitchen, alone with my thoughts, is getting to me. For whatever reason, whenever I have a moment and nothing to do, the details of that late night on the granite counter flood my memory— it’s like my skin remembers every touch.
But I have to stop this because fantasizing about Aiden is foolish, especially given that what happened between us was a fluke.
I mean just looking at his reaction to Mark, plus he’s never really expressed any interest in me, a quickie back then yes, but not real interest anyway.
The kitchen incident…well, that could be chalked up to the moon being in some kind of retrograde.
But isn’t that just like me? Always wanting what I can’t have, always complicating things. I’ve spent so long being the good girl, the responsible one.
Maybe that’s why this thing with Aiden…whatever it is feels so... exhilarating.
It’s reckless and messy and completely unlike me. And yet, I can’t seem to stop myself from wanting more.
“Ugh, I need to stop this,” I say aloud, not expecting the quiet to respond. My body is being unruly, and I squeeze my legs together.
There’s nothing good to watch on T.V., and my mind is wandering in search of some kind of stimulation.
It’s so damn distracting, and with a final huff, I turn off the television and stomp to my room.
My restlessness grows with each passing minute. The house is empty, and my thoughts are a tangled mess of desire and doubt. I need... something. A distraction, a release, anything to quiet the storm in my head.
Really, I think all I need is an orgasm and a nap.
I close my bedroom door behind me, not bothering to turn on the light. The dusk sky is a perfect backdrop for an evening of self-love. I drop my jeans on the floor and grab my favorite vibrator from the bedside drawer.
Katarina had suggested it one night when we were at her place, deep into our third bottle of wine. I’d completely forgotten about it until the package arrived, looking suspiciously inconspicuous.
Thank God for that Thank You card on the box, or I might have eagerly torn into it right there in the kitchen, with Jax and Aiden as my unwitting audience. Can you imagine? “Oh look, boys, Aunt Flo sent me a... wait, that’s not a scented candle!”
It took me two nights to work up the courage to open it. I swear I could hear it vibrating accusingly from inside the drawer. When I finally did unbox it, I half expected confetti and a neon sign announcing, “CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW SEX TOY!” But no, just me, blushing furiously in an empty room.
Still, it didn’t take long for my new little friend to earn its place of honor by my bed.
Who knew shame could be so short-lived when pleasures on the line?
I lay back against my pillows, enjoying the almost feeling of being enveloped. It would be better if there were arms wrapped around me, but a single girl does what she has to do. I lift my shirt off and toss it to the floor. In the chill of the air, my nipples peak, and I let my hands drift over them, shivering at the sensation.
I’m not expecting either Jax or Aiden to come back till tomorrow night, so I can afford to take my time for once. The buzz of the vibrator isn’t that loud, but I’m always terrified it’s loud enough for them to hear through the walls.
I breathe deep, enjoying the shiver that runs through my body. My nipples are always so sensitive around this time of the month and now is no different. While I play with one, I let my free hand drift down over my stomach and into my undies. My cunt is hot, and I jerk when I brush over my clit.
I want to draw things out, though, and I know the quickest way to be done and ready for a nap is to stimulate my clitoris.
Too soon.
I love the shivery feeling it gives me, but a clit orgasm always takes me out of commission for a while before I can get going again.
When I sink the head of the pink toy inside my pussy, my breath hitches, and I let out a soft groan.
Casual sex has never really appealed to me, so sex since splitting with my fiancé has literally been nonexistent except with myself.
But it’s not the same as having a partner to touch me in all the ways I can’t touch myself. I miss sex, but other than Mark, I haven’t had much luck with dating. Even after breaking the seal, my dating life remains much the same. Bare.
I enjoy the slick feel of my cunt and draw my finger out, sinking another beside the first.
The stretch feels good enough to make me moan, and I pinch my nipple again, enhancing the feeling.
I can hear the slick sounds of my fingers in my cunt, and I turn to press my head against the pillow. Without opening my eyes, I reach out, my hand closing on my vibrator. I don’t waste any time pushing my panties down to mid-thigh and spreading my legs as much as possible. The first sound of buzzing has me shivering in anticipation, and when I bring it down to brush over the lips of my pussy, I can’t contain my gasp.
Vibrations flow through my body, ratcheting up my arousal, and I bite my bottom lip as a fantasy forms in my mind.
“Aiden.” I can’t help the soft exhalation of his name.
It’s my own private secret, one I refuse to feel shame for right now. I’m so turned on that I don’t care if we can’t be together again. I want it with a fierceness that alarms me. “Oh fuck.”I press the vibrator harder, enjoying the setting as it buzzes slower then faster, keeping me on edge. The feeling has my body tensing and relaxing in turn, and I lift my knees, pressing into it. When I flick the setting to consistently high, my body jolts, and I grit my teeth as I move it closer to my clit. My body tenses, and I toss my head back as I feel myself flush. I’m so close. All I need is something to push me over the edge.
“Aurora, why didn’t you answer your ph—“
Aiden’s voice shocks me to my core, and I look up at the doorway just as the tip of the vibrator careens over my clit. “Aiden.” My voice rises in shock as I’m sent hurtling over the edge of my climax. My eyes slam shut as my back arches, and I lose all sense of being. Normally, I can keep myself quiet, but I cry out into the otherwise silent room before crashing back to earth. My breath comes out in short pants, and I lie there for a moment before I open my eyes.
I’m not expecting it, but Aiden is still standing in the doorway with his phone in his hand. He’s outlined by the light in the hallway, but I can still see his eyes. They glitter like diamonds, and the heat in them nearly has me choking on my next breath. I don’t know what to do, so I go with what’s easy.
“What the fuck? Don’t you know how to knock?” Aiden’s gaze is between my legs, but when I speak, it moves up and locks on my face. “I did knock, but you didn’t answer.”
“So, you just walked in? I could’ve been in bed with someone.”
His eyes narrow then. “Who? That Mark guy?”
“That’s none of your business,” I huff out as I pull my panties back up. I click off the vibrator, but the silence is so quiet that I almost click it back on to fill it. Aiden cocks his head as his gaze slides over me, and it leaves me feeling off-center.
“Isn’t it, though?” he asks a moment later. I frown, not knowing what he’s getting at. He takes a step into my room, and I nearly stop breathing. Why is he coming closer? Isn’t he embarrassed? That’s a stupid question. Of course, he isn’t embarrassed. Aiden doesn’t get embarrassed. Not like us commoners.
“Why would it be any of your business who I have sex with?” I turn over to reach for my shirt, and suddenly he’s there. I don’t understand how he moved so quickly, but when his hand closes around my wrist, I gasp at its heat.
His grip is strong, and even though I know why, it surprises me. I look up at him, blanking when I realize how close we are. I can see the dark specks of color in his eyes. They seem to glow with some inner light that draws me in even as I tell myself to move away.
“Because you shouldn’t be with anyone who doesn’t treat you how you should be treated.”
I swallow hard.
“That still doesn’t expl—“ My words slam to a stop when his lips cover mine, and I groan as I realize my memories are nothing compared to this fresh feeling.
Aiden’s lips are firm and knowing. They aren’t lazy as they drag over mine, instead moving with intent, prying my mouth open for him to plunder. When our tongues meet, I gasp.
This wildness is all-encompassing as it burns through me. I’m suddenly thrown into stark awareness at my lack of dress compared to his. It should have had me slowing things down, but instead, I grab his shirt and pull, yanking it off before diving back into his kisses.
Kissing Aiden feels like being eaten alive, and I shiver, wanting more. Large hands, roughened with callouses from holding sticks for most of his life, run over my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“Taste so good. Fuck. I’ve been dreaming of this for days.” Aiden’s words are rough and scrape against my nerves, making them sing. I am selfishly glad I’m not the only one still stuck on that night. All thoughts about slowing down go out the window when his hands slide over my panties. “Is this okay princess?”
The fact that he’s asking surprises me. I know I should say no. I should put a stop to all this so we can talk about things and make sure we’re on the same page. Hell, I should stop things and never touch him this way again, but I don’t.
I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to think. I just want to feel. I don’t answer, instead covering his hands with mine and sliding my panties down my leg until I am completely bare.
Aiden’s groan has his chest vibrating against mine, and the feeling is sublime.
His skin is hot, and the air between us is damp. It’s almost like being in a little cocoon with just us two. His hands grip me, sending syrupy pulses through my limbs. I grip him in return, feeling his muscles bunch and release in his back. Our kisses grow wilder until I have to rip my mouth away to breathe frantically.
Never have I felt so wild and out of control as I do now. My veins are on fire with the need to take him in me.
Large hands grip my thighs suddenly, spreading me. The rush of air between us doesn’t last long before Aiden slips between my legs. The fabric of his shorts does nothing to hide the hard press of his cock against me. I groan at feeling the hard length so close to where I want it. I clench my thighs, pulling him closer before reaching down and pushing at his shorts.
“Get these off.”
Aiden’s groan is more vibration than sound, and he presses sucking kisses against the sensitive skin of my neck. “If I take them off, I won’t be able to stop myself from fucking you.”
“Maybe that’s what I want.” There is no ‘maybe’ about it. I want Aiden to fuck me until I lose myself.
I want this with a fierceness that scares me. I haven’t experienced this with my ex. I haven’t experienced this driving need with anyone before, and it frightens me that I won’t experience it with anyone else again. What is it about Aiden that has my body yearning so?
“Stay with me, princess,” he whispers, voice deep. His breath skirts over my ear, making me gasp. I clutch at his back when I feel his hard cock slide between the lips of my pussy. Everything in me clenches, wanting to pull him in. I don’t fight the urge, instead giving in.
“I’m with you. But I would rather you be in me now.” My boldness comes from something deep inside, and I thrill to see his eyes narrow and heat flare in those gray depths. He seems to like my push to his pull, and I’m not too proud to admit I like it too. “Fuck me.”
Never have I been so brazen in my want, but it sets something in me free. One of Aiden’s hands slides under me until it grips the back of my neck, holding my head up. I couldn’t look away from him if I tried.
“As you wish.” His voice washes over me as fingers slide between my lips, opening me to him. I open my mouth, but all that I can voice is a moan as the head of him spears itself, sliding inside my cunt with unending accuracy.
He is thick and so blindingly hot that I can’t stop my body from clenching down. His answering groan sends my arousal soaring.
“You’re so fucking tight, baby. I’ve been dreaming about this pussy.” His words inflame me as he pulls back slightly. I feel every inch of him pressing against the walls of my pussy, but it is his thrust back in that loosens my mouth again.
“Aiden.” I can’t say anything but his name. Somehow it always comes back to him. My first. My memories of that time are so dull compared to the Technicolor fucking we’re doing now.
My bed creaks as his thrusts speed up, and the slick squelching sounds have me flushing. My cheeks are hot, and I turn my head to hide them, but the hand on the back of my neck stops me. Aiden’s grip tightens, and I look up at him. His skin is damp with sweat, but his eyes have me locked in.
“Don’t hide from me, princess. I want to know that you feel good. I want to know what you look like when you come on my dick.”
I cry out when a finger slides over my clit. It is engorged and so sensitive, and yet I arch up, wanting more. I want to fall apart, safe in the knowledge that I can trust Aiden to put me back together again.
A soft bite against my collarbone has me tensing, and it is one final thrust that knocks my orgasm from me. I dig my nails in as everything in me sings with pleasure. My eyes slam shut as my breathing hitches. Aiden doesn’t cease; his thrusts still come, extending my orgasm until I can’t help but cry out.
“There you go, princess,” he growls out against my lips. “I want to hear you sing. How does it feel?”
“So good,” I gasp out as I wrap a leg over his hip. It shifts my hips, pressing me up more firmly against him. “God, harder. Please.”
Aiden’s nails dig into my neck, and he hitches me closer to him, shifting until my hips rise from the bed. Each thrust knocks my teeth together, and I can’t stop the moans that rain down from my lips. If we were in an apartment, I would’ve been completely embarrassed at the volume of my pleasure. But we have the house to ourselves, and I can let loose every aroused cry as Aiden reshapes me with his cock.
“Fuck,” he huffs out, and I feel him start to tense. I want to see him fall apart like I have, but I can feel something even more powerful building inside of me. I drop a hand by my head, gripping the pillow below me as I try to hold on. “I’m going to come again.”
Aiden’s smile is sharp and ravenous, and his hips press deep, battering my clit and lighting me up from the inside. “Do it,” he bites out. “Come on my dick, baby. I’m going to fuck you full of me.”
Holding on isn’t an option in the face of his command. Any other time I would have told him off, but now it is the closing I need to fall headfirst into a second, more powerful orgasm.
“Aiden.” My voice breaks through loudly, ringing out with arousal. I hear him groan beside me, and his hips press against me sharply. Each twitch has me jerking with oversensitivity, and I let myself float on the feelings coursing through me.
I know what we’ve done isn’t smart. Even beyond Jax, Aiden doesn’t even like me like that. But as he presses soft kisses against my lips and brushes my hair back, I can’t bring myself to feel any regret. And that, more than anything, terrifies me. Because what happens when the reality of our situation comes crashing down? What happens when I have to face Jax, knowing what I’ve done with his best friend? And worse... what happens if I can’t stop myself from falling for Aiden?