18. Tristan
TRISTAN
I need to slow this down, because if I don't, I’m going to ruin it for both of us.
Everything in me is screaming at me to pick her up, and find the quickest possible way inside of her.
I want to know what she sounds like coming apart on my fingers first, then my tongue, and finally, if I’ve done a good enough job, my aching cock.
Tipping Winter’s chin up, I stroke her face with my thumb and then let my other hand trail down her neck, over the delicate slope of her shoulder and finally back up to circle around. As my fingers close around her throat, I can feel when she swallows hard. I cage her against the wall.
I dip my head, pulling in a shaky breath because this is fucking it, our new start.
I don’t care what tomorrow brings or what feelings of guilt surface for me.
I’ll never push her away again for her own benefit.
Not when she’s looking at me like this, showing me how much she needs me too in all the same ways.
Winter is mine now, and we won’t be going back from tonight.
The thought of spending every night with her in my bed, in my arms, with the ability to feel her soft skin, haul her against my chest whenever I fucking want is almost too much for me to process all at once.
My mouth crashes down on hers. It’s messy at first, desperate, all tongue and teeth, like I’m trying to breathe her into me.
She’s strong, and can handle a lot, but I’m trying to be mindful of just how much bigger I am than her.
I trail my hand down her back and then up to cup the back of her head, supporting her as my mouth ravages hers.
Her hands are on my abs first and then move up my chest, and I lean forward, pushing against her palms. I’ve never been touched like this, like she’s admiring every hard line and lean muscle she discovers.
I want her to know every inch of me, just like I’m going to know what every freckle on her body tastes like.
I groan, low and so fucking broken for this girl.
I whisper against her lips, “I need you. I’ve never needed anyone in my life, but I need you in the best and worst ways.
” But I need more than this, I need something verbal from her that I can replay over and over in my mind. “Tell me that you want this…”
I don’t get to finish my thought, because Winter tilts her head back, eyes blazing up into mine, and her words cut straight through me.
“I need you too. No one else could ever give me what you do. I need you to know that, Tristan.” Her soft hands move up to my shoulders, and she’s pushing up on her toes with such practiced ease.
“You are the only person I’d ever put all of my trust in.
I want to know this part of you…” She cups my face, her voice breaking as she says something I couldn’t have even dreamed up.
“I want to know this part of myself, and I’d never let anyone else this close to me. ”
It shatters something inside me because she wants to know what this connection should feel like.
She wants to override what happened between us the first time, and I’m going to my damn hardest to push that memory out of her mind.
Because this girl is standing here, telling me what I’ve always known.
Winter belongs to me.
“Mine,” I rasp as I kiss her so reverently and greedily all at the same time.
My hands roam down her sides, memorizing every curve, every shiver as she breathes me in.
I peel her tank top up, my knuckles brushing the warm skin of her stomach before I tug it over her head.
I want to fucking punch myself for doing something to break our kiss, that’s how fucking much I need her.
I want to be connected at every point. I don’t want to know where my girl begins and I end.
I hope she knows what she’s agreeing to right now.
If she thought I was bad before, hovering over her, watching her, beating the fuck out of anyone who tried to come close to her.
I’m about to be so much worse. She’s going to be lucky if I let her out of our bed… ever.
Fuck.
My mouth finds her throat, sucking and licking, dragging across the sweet hollow until she’s gasping. She wants this. She wants me, and that thought alone is enough to send me into another dimension.
When I finally pull back enough to look at her beautiful body, I almost lose it and come in my pants again.
I suspect that will be a common theme for us, because I could come at just the thought of her allowing me to touch her.
Winter’s dusky pink nipples are tight little peaks, hard and begging for my mouth.
I groan, dipping my head quite a bit before closing my lips around one.
I suck it into my mouth while rolling the other between my fingers.
Winter arches into me, a soft whimper spilling out that makes my cock throb so hard it’s painful.
I switch, licking across the swell of her breast before sucking the other nipple, biting it just enough to make her gasp.
But it’s too much for me because I can’t stay away from her mouth.
My hand slides up, curling around the back of her neck as I crush my lips to hers again, kissing her like I’m drinking her in, like I’ll die if I don’t taste her every second.
I’m fucking pissed that I don’t have more mouths and hands, because I want to touch her and kiss her everywhere all at once.
“You have no idea what you mean to me,” I rasp against her lips, forehead pressed to hers. My voice breaks, raw. “I can’t find the words to describe it. How do you describe something so fucking earth-shattering that you know no one else has ever experienced this deeply? There isn’t a word for it.”
She cups my jaw, eyes glassy and wild just for me. “I don’t need the words. I just need you, Tristan.”
The way she says my name so deliciously sensual and so completely comforting is going to ruin me. She’s exactly what I need all the time, never fails, without question.
Her mouth claims mine this time, and I swear it feels like prayer.
I worship her with my hands, sliding down her back, tracing her hips, greedy for every inch of her soft skin.
I’m in awe of her, every perfect line, every curve of her beautiful body.
She’s warm and pliant, breasts pressed to my chest, her skin softer than anything I’ve ever touched in my goddamn life.
My hand slips lower, sliding under her shorts, under the thin lace, and then…
fuck, I feel her pussy, bare and silken and so wet for me it makes my vision blur.
I groan against her mouth, my eyes roll up for half a second because she’s too fucking perfect.
My fingers tremble as I trace the softest skin I’ve ever known.
“I need to be inside you,” I choke out, my forehead pressed to hers, my voice so raw with need. My hand moves against her, and she shudders. “But first…I need to taste you.”
“Tristan,” she breathes out, but I don’t give her a chance to protest. I’m undressing both of us and scooping her up in my arms. She’s never experienced what I’m about to do to her, and to be fair, neither have I.
But I’ve researched how to bring her pleasure with my tongue, my fingers, my aching cock.
I don’t think I ever thought I’d make it out of this purgatory we’ve been in to actually try the things I read about, but I’m so glad the time is now.
People would be surprised at how many peer-reviewed scholarly articles are written on the subject, and with the many sleepless nights I’ve spent…
I was a fucking sponge for knowledge on the subject.
I just need to calm down and try not to fuck this up.
I want her to be boneless with orgasmic pleasure when I’m finished with her.
I want her to fall asleep with my name on her tongue.
I lay Winter back on the bed carefully, like she’s the most precious thing I’ll ever hold.
Because she certainly fucking is, and on top of that, she’s the only woman I’ll ever touch.
Her hair spills across the pillow, eyes wide and shining up at me, lips swollen from how hard I’ve already kissed her.
My chest is heaving, but I dip down anyway, brushing my mouth against hers one more time. I can’t stop.
I don’t ever want to stop.