7. Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Aspen
“ S orry about tonight. That was awkward.”
Humming my agreement, I turn to face Ryan, who’s already on his side, his head propped on his hand.
“It wasn’t just awkward. It was weird,” I say, tightening my ponytail and getting into bed. I turn on my side, and we stare at each other in silence. “You mentioned you were close, but I didn’t realize you were that close.”
I can’t keep the irritation from my voice because tonight wasn’t cool. Ghosting me over the weekend wasn’t cool. I’m upset with her, but I’m more upset with him. He’s my boyfriend, so he’s the one that should have boundaries in place. I know the circumstances are difficult and she’s a close friend, but it doesn’t mean that I should be treated with disrespect. What’s bugging me also is that she doesn’t seem particularly upset. I know what grief looks like. The last weeks of Mom’s illness, I was inconsolable. Every second I had, I spent with her, time a ticking clock in my head, knowing I’ll never get that second back. The only time I could muster up a smile was when I was trying to be brave for her. But that was me. I don’t know anything about Hadley or her relationship with her parents.
“I really am sorry. With everything going on, I think she’s trying to find comfort wherever she can.”
“Tell me about her.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Well, besides the fact that you’ve known her forever, that you were close, and that she’s a private person, I don’t know anything about her. What is she like as a person? I’m assuming she’s an only child since you said her dad is the only family she has left. No other family?”
“No,” he says, shaking his head, but then seems to think a bit. “Maybe? I’m not really sure. If there is, I’ve never met them and she’s never spoken about anyone.”
“And? What is she like? Tell me something about the Hadley you grew up with.”
“Ugh,” he groans. “Hadley is Hadley. She’s always been selective with who she allows in her life. So until she knows you and likes you, she’s very reserved. Extremely loyal if she cares about you, but if she doesn’t, you don’t exist in her world.” He shrugs. “I don’t know what else to say. Driven. Ambitious. Can get moods that last for days.”
“It sounds like this is her first time back since college. Why? Didn’t she miss her parents? Did they visit her?”
I feel like a freaking FBI agent with all my questioning, but something in my gut is telling me I need to find out as much as I can about Hadley.
“I don’t think it’s my place to talk about that,” he says, frowning.
“Why? Because she wouldn’t want you to?”
I watch in frustration as he nods, still frowning.
“I’m not trying to pry,” I say, trying to keep my frustration behind my clenched teeth. “All I want is a better understanding of the dynamics. I get her need for privacy and not wanting people to see her emotions.” Except for Ryan, of course. She has no problem showing him anything. “It’s just that it makes me feel as if I should tiptoe around her. Is it okay to ask her how her dad’s doing? How she’s feeling? I’m at a loss here, Ryan, and I need you to help me.”
He sighs, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling, seconds ticking by in silence.
“It was never a close relationship,” he mutters, not looking at me. “Which is why she spent so much time at my house. They were older when they had her, and she was a surprise baby. And not a happy surprise baby.”
I wait for him to carry on, but he doesn’t, choosing instead to stare at the ceiling as if it’s the most fascinating thing.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“I’ll have to check with her what she’s comfortable with you knowing,” he says, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
Ryan’s loyalty is astounding. I just wish he’d show me some of that loyalty.
“Right. Okay.”
“Look, babe,” he sighs, rolling back to me, and tracing a finger down my cheek. “I’m not trying to be difficult. She’s told me many things in confidence over the years, and it won’t be right to tell you without her permission. I can’t betray her like that. The same as I would never tell anyone what you told me in confidence.”
I hold his eyes while I try to figure out how that makes me feel. He’s said he loves me. He’s shown me he loves me, making no secret that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Shouldn’t that somehow set me apart from everyone else?
It’s not like I’m asking him things that can cause her harm. I’m asking him to help me understand her. Help navigate this situation I’ve been thrown into, and he’s giving me nothing.
“Just give it time. She can be…difficult, but I know she’ll open up to you once she gets to know you better.”
I doubt it, I think, but all I say is, “You think so? I don’t think she likes me very much.”
“That’s not possible. Everyone you meet loves you.”
Yeah, right. Not someone who sees you as competition. Competition for what exactly I’m not sure yet.
“I don’t want to talk about her anymore. I haven’t thanked you properly for dinner,” he says, rolling on top of me.
This is the outcome I was hoping for, but now…I’m just not in the mood. I would have preferred it if his thank you was telling Hadley to get her own dinner to allow the two of us to have some alone time.
Three months into dating, Ryan introduced me to his parents. I thought it was too soon, but he insisted. From the way he spoke about them, it was clear they were a tight-knit family, so I knew their opinion mattered a great deal.
He wasn’t nervous. He shrugged as if it was no big deal. In his mind, he was crazy about me, so obviously they would be, too.
Me? I was so nervous I felt physically ill.
My heart sank when we pulled up to their house. It screamed money. I didn’t grow up with money. We lived in a modest, three-bedroom home. Luxuries were a rare treat, and going on vacation happened once in a blue moon. What if they took one look at me and thought I wasn’t good enough for him?
I should have trusted Ryan. They welcomed me with open arms, and an hour in, I felt as if I’d been part of the family for years.
Ever since that night, we’ve been having dinner with them once a month.
“This is the last of it.”
Tearing my eyes from the gazebo, I force my lips into a smile and take the pot Renee’s holding out. Dipping it into the sudsy water, I can’t keep my eyes from trailing back to the gazebo. The counter-to-ceiling windows spanning the back of the kitchen give me a perfect view.
“How is the rescue coming along?”
For the first time tonight, my smile feels genuine. “I’ve filed the Articles of Incorporation, so I’m one step closer to getting it registered as a non-profit organization. One step at a time, right?”
“That’s fantastic, honey,” she says, a smile lighting up her face. “So you’ve settled on a name, then?”
“Yes. Paw Prints Rescue and Rehoming.” I bite my lip, waiting for her reaction.
“I love it. It sounds perfect. Just like you.” She cups my cheeks, squeezing them like I’m five years old. “I know I’ve told you before, but if you need help with any of the legal stuff, tell Charles. He’ll happily put you in touch with one of his partners at his firm.”
I smile my thanks for her offer, then turn back to the pot I’m scrubbing, keeping my eyes glued to it. Usually after dinner, Ryan is in the kitchen with me, both of us doing the cleaning. But not tonight.
Shortly after dinner, they disappeared upstairs, and when they came back down, Ryan gave me a quick kiss before following her outside.
Seems like coming here has stirred up all kinds of emotions, and she’s struggling . Yeah, as if I’m not struggling with seeing them together in the gazebo; heads together, talking about who knows what.
Jealousy truly is a little green monster sitting on my shoulder, whispering all kinds of ideas and thoughts in my ear.
“It’s good seeing Hadley again. I just wish it was under different circumstances.”
I glance up to see that she’s staring at the gazebo with an indecipherable look on her face. It’s on the tip of my tongue to quiz her about Hadley, but I don’t. If I get shot down again, it will be beyond awkward, so instead I just acknowledge the obvious.
“They seem close.”
“Always have been.” She shakes her head as if shaking off memories. “My children always had their friends over, but Hadley was here all the time. I always felt as if I had three children.” She smiles at me with a naughty twinkle in her eyes. “And I hope I’ll have four soon.”
By the time the kitchen’s done and we’ve had coffee, Hadley and Ryan still aren’t back. Breathing in calm, I square my shoulders and walk outside. My footsteps are silent on the path, and when I get closer, I hear the soft murmur of their voices.
Coming to a stop at the bottom of the gazebo, I stick my hands in the back pockets of my jeans, my gaze hopping between them, my chest tightening while I take them in. It looks awfully intimate. I don’t care that she’s his friend and that she’s grieving. With his arm over her shoulder and her head resting against him, there isn’t an inch of space between them, and from where I’m standing, it doesn’t look friendly. It looks…more. Like how you’d sit with your girlfriend. Not your friend.
“I’m ready to go home,” I say, my face stiff. “I have work in the morning.”
This is downright weird. How come I’m feeling awkward interrupting an intimate moment between them?
“Sorry,” he mutters, untangling himself from her. “I lost track of time.”
My eyes meet Hadley’s blank stare for a second before I turn around and head back inside, not waiting for them. By the time they’ve said their goodbyes, I’m waiting by the car, silently fuming.
I’m so mad at Ryan, I’m almost tempted to tell Hadley to get in the front just to avoid him, but fuck, it feels like she’s invading every part of my life, and there’s no way I will allow her to worm her way in any more than she’s already done. I bet given half a chance, she’d insist on sitting in the front.
The drive home is silent, tension filling the car. Although, maybe it’s just me feeling it. Ryan looks completely relaxed, one hand on the steering wheel, the other one resting on my thigh. I curl my fingers into a fist against the urge to hurl his hand away. The last thing I want is to be touched by the hand attached to the arm that was draped around Hadley’s shoulder.
Shifting, I move my legs away, ignoring his frown.
I power my way inside with a mumbled goodnight to Hadley when we get home.
“Another awkward night, huh?” I say, throwing my clothes in the hamper when Ryan finally makes it to our room.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Disappearing right after dinner. Snuggling up with your best friend in the gazebo. Incredibly romantic. Romance novel romantic, in fact.”
Sighing, he toes his shoes off. “There was nothing romantic about it.”
“Not from where I was standing.”
“Aspen.”
He reaches out to me, but I step back, shaking my head. “No, Ryan. I am mad. Last night wasn’t cool. Tonight wasn’t cool. Your friendship makes me uncomfortable. There’s a distinct lack of boundaries between you two.”
He shrugs helplessly. “That’s just the way things have always been between us.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I take a minute to take in his expression. If there’s one thing I do know, it’s that secrets are the death of a relationship. He’s not lying to me. I see the honesty shining from his eyes, but it doesn’t make it better. I still don’t like it.
“Has any of your past girlfriends had an issue with her?”
“I haven’t dated anyone long enough before you for there to be an issue.” Stepping into me, he winds his arms around my waist. “Aspen, please don’t make this an issue. You’re the only woman for me. Forever. Let’s just get through these following weeks and then things will get back to normal.”
Don’t make this an issue. Why do his words have my scalp prickling? I love hearing him say I’m his forever woman, but does he expect me to just sit back and let things I’m unhappy about slide? If he thinks that, it means he doesn’t know me. At all.
“Okay, Ryan.” Nodding, I step back, away from his arms. I’m not happy, but I’ll let it go for now because of this situation with Hadley’s dad. I need time. Time to figure out if their dynamic is because of the current situation or if it’s normal behavior between them.