28. Chapter 28
Chapter twenty-eight
Aspen
R yan: Do you want my opinion on the exhibition at the gallery? I guess not, but I’m going to give it, anyway. The most beautiful piece of art in that room was you. I still can’t believe I lost the right to hold your hand. To kiss you. It’s a nightmare I can’t wake up from.
“I’m not working Saturday, so I was thinking, drinks at Frosty’s?”
Piper winces, her face falling. “Hmm, sounds good, but I can’t. I’ve got plans. Sorry.”
Capping her pen, she grabs the file she was working on and walks over to the filing cabinet. I lean forward, propping my chin on my hands. “Is Sam in town?”
Sam is a guy she went to school with whom moved away after college. His parents still live here, so whenever he’s back in town, they make plans to meet up. I’ve always thought they make a cute couple, but she insists that they’re just friends with benefits. For as long as I’ve known Piper, she’s been allergic to relationships.
“No. Not a date. Just plans.”
Frowning, I watch as she busies herself with the filing cabinet, avoiding my stare. Can’t say I’m not disappointed. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been out with the girls. Even the last girls’ night was canceled. Not sure why. The text I got was vague, only saying something came up.
“Okay, no problem. I’ll check if Rose and Maya are free.”
“I think I heard them mention they’re busy,” she mumbles, still not looking at me.
My frown intensifies. She’s being cagey. “Is everything okay?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Finally, she looks at me, smiling brightly, but it feels…off. There’s something in her carefully arranged features that has my senses tingling.
“No reason.” Giving her a half-smile, I straighten. “Another time then.”
Trying hard, and failing spectacularly, not to feel sorry for myself, I make my way to the stockroom. I enjoy having my own space, but sometimes the quiet gets to me. It gives me too much time to think.
I’ve been out of sorts since seeing Ryan at the gallery. Almost as if I’m in some kind of recovery program and I’ve been set back a couple of steps. So I’ve tried keeping busy, but there are only so many shifts I can pick up at the Silver Stiletto. Technically, I don’t need to work there anymore, as the rent Kallan’s charging is ridiculously low. But like I said, it keeps me busy, and it adds to my savings.
I’m busy cross-checking our stock of antibiotics against our inventory list when my phone chirps. For some unfathomable reason, Tuesdays are always a slow day at the clinic, so I always take advantage of that, checking that we’re not running out of supplies.
Pulling it out of my coat pocket, my lips tip up in a smile.
Derick: You don’t happen to be free on Saturday night?
Biting my lip, I ponder my response. We’ve exchanged a few messages since the night at the gallery, but we haven’t been able to firm up a date. Seems the man is as busy as I am. Is this the universe telling me I should throw caution to the wind and just go for it?
From the few interactions we’ve had, I can tell I’ll have a good time with him. I’m not sure if I’m ready for something more than friendship, and only time will tell if there’s potential for more. But for now, I’m willing to start as friends.
Aspen: As a matter of fact, I am
Derick: Can I pick you up?
Aspen: I’ll meet you there. Where is there? Do you have anything in mind?
Derick: No. As long as there’s food and drinks that make you happy
Aspen: Frosty Frogs. Eight?
Derick: It’s a date
Derick: I mean not a date, date. A time and place where two people meet to get to know each other better
Aspen: Smartass
Feeling a lot better now that I have plans, I pick up the clipboard, humming, while I continue to count.
Maybe I shouldn’t have picked Frosty’s, I think as I battle my way to the bar. It’s packed, the noise levels deafening. Which is not ideal when you’re trying to get to know someone. I shouldn’t be surprised at how busy it is. We’re fully into fall, and everyone’s taking advantage of the good weather before the first snowfall.
“You made it.” Derick smiles at me, his dimple popping out.
Sliding on the barstool he kept open for me, I return his smile. “Of course. I said I was coming.”
Proving my thoughts on the noise, he leans in close enough for his lips to brush my ear. “What can I get you?”
“A beer will be fine.”
While he’s trying to get the bartender’s attention, I use his distraction to take him in. He looks just as good in jeans and a white button-down as he did in the tux.
His dark stubble accentuates his jawline, giving him a rugged and masculine look. Ryan prefers a smoother look, forgoing shaving every day only when he’s on holiday. Not that having a smooth face makes him look less masculine…
Stop it, I chastise myself. There will be no comparing to Ryan tonight. Not tonight. Not ever. Shaking my head in irritation, I let my eyes wander and they stop when they land on Maya, who’s frozen, staring at me like a deer in headlights.
Giving her a quizzical smile, I watch as she hesitates for a second before walking up to me.
“Aspen! What are you doing here?” she says, her voice higher pitched than usual, her eyes darting around. She seems shifty, but then it’s busy, so I’m sure she’s run ragged.
I frown because I didn’t miss the way her eyes shot to Derick, so I think it’s quite obvious. “Meeting a friend for drinks. I didn’t think to book a table. Is our booth available?”
“It’s ah…” She licks her lips, swallowing. “It’s actually not.” The smile she gives me looks more like a grimace.
“Oh, really? Who’s here tonight?”
Please don’t say it’s Ryan. Is that her source of discomfort? I crane my neck, trying to see around people, but the place is jam-packed. Finally, the crowd shifts enough for the booth to come into view. It takes a few seconds to make sense of what I’m seeing, but when I do, my heart drops.
I was dreading seeing Ryan, but this… This is infinitely worse. My stomach is quick to follow, dropping to somewhere in the vicinity of my toes. Everyone is there, and I mean everyone. But that’s not all. A woman is sitting next to Ryan. A woman I don’t recognize.
Now it makes sense why she was so evasive about her plans. They organized this get-together to get to know Ryan’s new girlfriend. And obviously, I couldn’t be invited.
I don’t know what hurts the most. Being lied to and excluded by my best friends, or Ryan dating. Seeing him with another woman hurts, but seeing Rose and Piper there? That doesn’t just sting or hurt, it feels like a betrayal.
I shouldn’t feel like that, right? I’m the newbie to the group. They were friends long before I came on the scene. Rose and Ryan are family, and as they say, blood is thicker than water. But I can’t help it. I do. It’s not that they’re there—okay, maybe that’s not the complete truth. I thought they were on my side. It’s more that Piper lied to me. When I asked her out, she said she had plans. Not they . She . And then she made it sound like Rose and Maya had their own plans.
If she was honest, it would have been hard, but life moves on, right? Case in point, me being here with Derick. It would take time, but I would have accepted it.
Trying to swallow past the lump in my throat, I fumble with my purse, grabbing a few notes and holding it out to Maya. “I guess if you weren’t working, you’d be there too, huh?”
“Aspen—”
“It’s okay,” I say, cutting her off. My lips are so stiff that it feels difficult to form words. “I understand.” I don’t. Not really. “This is for the beers. I think we’re going to go.”
Standing up, I turn to Derick, who’s watching me with a creased brow, my beer in his hand. “It’s a bit noisy in here. Why don’t we go find somewhere quieter?”
To my relief, he doesn’t question me and, with a nod, puts the beer down and gets up. At that moment, his presence next to me is a comfort. Making me feel not so alone.
Against my wishes, my eyes move back to the booth, my bruised heart crying out, “Enough. I can’t take much more of this torture!”
Ryan’s in the middle of saying something when his gaze meets mine. In a space of a few seconds, a myriad of emotions crosses his face, too fast for me to decipher most of them. Piper’s gaze follows his line of sight, and the laughter on her lips dies, replaced by surprise, then guilt.
“Aspen, it’s not what you think,” Maya tries again.
“It’s okay, Maya. Really. I’ll see you around, okay?”
I don’t protest when Derick grabs my hand, leading me outside. Cool, fresh air slaps me in the face, and I take a deep breath, trying to get rid of the constriction in my throat. This is only a big deal if I make it a big deal, right? I’ve been through worse. Maybe I’m overreacting. It could be as simple as them trying to spare my feelings, or avoiding the awkwardness of having two girlfriends, one an ex, one a current, together at a table.
I tell myself all this, but I can’t help the throb of my bruised heart at seeing Ryan with someone else. Or at the feeling of my friends replacing me. Of them having chosen sides and me being the casualty of this breakup. Fuck, I hope that’s not it.
A touch on my shoulder has me blinking, realizing I’ve been stupidly staring at nothing, completely zoned out, with Derick standing next to me. This poor guy. I’m sure this isn’t what he signed up for.
“I’m sorry about that,” I say. “If you want to call it a night, I understand.”
Instead of answering, his lips meet mine and they’re soft and warm. I’m so out of sorts, my emotions jumbled and all over the place, that I don’t resist. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds before he pulls back.
“What was that for?” I ask, touching my lips.
“I’m not entirely sure what happened back there, but I can see that you’re hurting. That was a reminder that you’re beautiful. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
He grabs my hand again, giving it a quick squeeze. “So, where would you like to go? If you’re in the mood for Italian, there’s this place the next road over that makes the best prawns linguine.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask for a rain check, but I know if I go home now, all I’ll do is curl into a ball and cry. How damn pathetic. And I don’t want to be pathetic.
Nodding, it’s my turn to squeeze his hand. “Lead the way.”
My bed jostling rips me from sleep, and for an infinite few seconds, panic grips me, my heart revving higher than a Formula One car hurtling at full speed
“Aspen.”
It takes a few seconds for Rose’s voice to break through the pure terror gripping me, but once it does, the hammering of my heart slowly settles back into a steady rhythm. Waking up like this? One hundred percent not recommended.
“Shit, are you trying to kill me?” Sitting up, I wipe my eyes. “What are you doing here? And how did you get a key?”
“Sorry. Kallan gave us his spare. We knocked, but you didn’t answer.”
“Because I was freaking sleeping.”
I’ll have to talk to him. I know they’re my friends, but this is my home for now, and I don’t like that he decides who gets to invade my privacy. Maybe if I didn’t feel the way I’m feeling right now, I wouldn’t mind. But I do because I’m pissed.
“For what it’s worth, he didn’t want to, but Bailey convinced him, and you know he can’t deny her anything.”
Guess I’ll be having a chat with Bailey then. Eyes narrowing, I take them in.
“Again, why are you here? Scaring ten years off my life,” I mutter.
Piper sits on my bed, folding her legs under her. “You were upset. We wanted to check up on you.”
“Wouldn’t you be? You lied to me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” She looks down, fiddling with her fingers. She sighs. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Then why did you?”
They share a look and once again I feel like I’m on the outside looking in.
“We can’t tell you.”
My laugh is dry and humorless, not hiding how much that stings. “Of course not.”
“I know it looks bad, but I want you to trust us, okay? We’re your friends, Aspen, and we’d never do anything to hurt you.”
I almost want to say, “Too late. You’ve already hurt me.” But I bite the words back. Am I being unfair to them? If I look past my bruised ego, they’ve given no sign they’re pulling back. They’ve been there every step of the way during the breakup, firmly planted in my corner, and supporting me.
But that’s the terrible thing about betrayal. It invites doubt and suspicion where before there weren't any. I’ve already lost Ryan, and I’m scared to lose them, too.
“I just don’t get the secrecy. Being in the same circle is a difficult situation with Ryan dating again, but you don’t need to lie to me. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”
“No,” they cry out together.
“No, what?”
“Ryan’s not dating,” Rose says firmly.
“Oh. I just assumed…”
“Well, you assumed wrong.” For some reason, she seems really upset.
“Then why lie to me? I don’t get it.”
“Just trust us, please?” Maya says, her face earnest. I bite my lip, feeling myself folding. Maya doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.
Their faces light up with relief when I nod.
“So, now that that’s out of the way, how was your date?” Piper asks, a naughty grin on her face.
“It wasn’t a date.”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“Yes,” I say firmly.
We had a great time. I think the man has superpowers because he took my mind off the disastrous start to the evening, and even had me laughing by the end of it. He didn’t kiss me again, and as promised, we went dutch.
I might not be ready just this minute, but the potential is there for more than just friendship.