Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Idon’t think I can do this, Balta.” Joa hated to sound like a whiny baby, and the nurses had already had him up walking this morning, each tug on his torn muscles pure agony, but if Balta and Raul left him and he had to do all this rehab and travel by himself he might just sit down and die.
“Bah. Of course you can. In a week you’ll feel like a new man.”
He felt new now. New and broken.
“I—” Joa tried, and failed, to summon a smile. “I hope so.”
He tried to focus, to breathe and…shit, think.
“The drugs,” Balta said, and he blinked.
“Whut?”
“The confusion, doce. It’s the drugs. They made you…weird.”
“Weird?” The word sounded so foreign in Balta’s voice.
“Mmm. Make it hard to put words together, hard to sleep deeply. You’re a little—how does Kynan say? Wonky.”
“Wonky?” Joa began to chuckle. He had to. Seriously? His Balta using wonky correctly in a sentence?
“Yes! It’s a good word. I like it.” Balta grinned hugely.
“You…” God, his demon made him smile. “Is someone going to bring me real food soon? Not this stuff? When can I go home? When do you leave?”
“Raul will leave Thursday. You and I will go back to Texas as soon as they clear you to travel. Raul went to get you food.”
“You and…Balta? You don’t ride this weekend?”
“Nao. I think I’ll go to the finals for the fans, sim?”
“Well, I would hope so.” The finals? He didn’t understand. The finals were months away. There were what? Nine events left between? Eight?
“I’ll be staying with you, namorado.” Balta just said it, and for a long moment Joa thought perhaps he misheard.
“Balta? Can you? Can you do that?” For him?
“Why not?” Balta grinned, dark eyes gleaming with the evil Joa knew so well. “Think how easy it will be for Raul to win the season without me to compete with!”
Privately Joa thought Raul had it, with or without Balta, but he had to laugh. “He is lucky.” But it was Joa who was lucky. “Are you sure, Balta?”
“I am, doce. I—we will miss Raul when he is riding, but he will come home every week, and I will go to a few of the events closer to home to see him ride. He wants it so badly. I will not interfere with that.”
“No. No, he can win it.” Joa felt the pang that always came with the knowledge that he wouldn’t. He wasn’t consistent.
“He can. We can look into bucking bulls with your papai.” Balta took his hand, the gesture so gentle, so careful.
“He would like that. I would like that.” He wasn’t sure what was happening with him, with the world. “I feel lost, Baltazar.”
“I have you. I know what is right.”
“He does. Even if he is too high-handed about it.” Raul came in, grinning at him, a bag of Taco Bell in his hand. Oh, he looked good in his tight Wranglers and his starched shirt.
“Raul.” He had to smile back, had to. “Are those for me?”
“They are. I had Arby’s.”
Balta groaned. “He is obsessed with Arby’s.”
Raul stopped to drop a kiss on Balta’s mouth before bringing Joa his food. Joa stared at them, wide-eyed. This was a private room, but goodness.
He’d never quite seen them so…hungry. It made him wish he could spring wood.
Then Raul came to him, kissing him far more gently. “Tacos.”
“Thank you.” He searched Raul’s eyes. “I’m a little crazy today, huh?”
“Are you?” Raul stroked his cheek with one hand. “You seem better, though.”
“Good.” He wanted to be able to go home, not to some ‘facility’.
“You’ll be fine. You have Balta to whip you into shape.” Raul’s smile was rueful, but not bitter, he thought.
“You’ll be home in the week, though?” Raul wasn’t leaving them?
“I will. I will miss you pulling my rope.” Now that smile turned to pure evil, showing that was not what Raul would miss him pulling. “But once we get your truck back to Texas, I will just fly to events. Balta says he will help me.”
“Sim. We are family. We need to make this easy.” Balta’s eyebrows waggled. “Airline miles.”
Joa laughed. True. Balta did have many miles. Family. Joa brightened at that, and sat up, so carefully. It had been a revelation, how his femur was attached to his hips. There would be no crunches for a while.
Raul spread out some napkins on his chest and lap, then wheeled the table over so he could eat.
“Thank you. This stinks.”
“If it stinks, we have a problem. Eat your tacos.” Balta was stretched out in one of the chairs, boots propped up, crossed at the ankle.
Joa stuck his tongue out, but to see Raul at peace with Balta’s decision helped him. He’d been afraid for a fight, for things to shatter because they were so new, the three of them, and they hadn’t weathered anything like this before.
“You are thinking too hard. Eat, Joa.” Balta acted casual, but watched him like a hawk.
“Sim. Listen to the velho, Joa.”
“Velho,” Balta arched his eyebrow. “I will show you, old man.”
“You might get arrested for that here,” Raul said.
It was Cheyenne, after all. The people were…not ready for the games Raul and Balta could play. Joa ate two tacos before he tired, and there were cinnamon twists.
Raul bullied three into him, before he shook his head, closing his eyes to rest.
“Poor Joaquim.” Raul bent to kiss his forehead. “You understand? That I still need to go ride?”
“Of course!” His eyes flew open, Raul so close Joa could see the hint of stubble on his dear face. “You will win, Raul. I know it. I know.”
“I will try.” Raul chuckled. “I want to send some money back to Brazil, but I also want to pull my weight at home with you and Balta.”
“At home.” How could he not smile at those words? “Sim, Raul. At home.”
Balta chuckled, low and happy. “I had to explain to Raul how we both wanted him, not just you, Joa. How I loved him, too.”
Raul’s cheeks went bright red, but the smile was so pleased, so happy. “He did. He did very well, Joa.”
“I can imagine. I want to watch, next time.”
“Listen to you!” Balta clapped his hands. “Soon, doce. The lindo and I will have to be very creative until you can join us.”
“It won’t be long, right? I’ve already been walking.” He wanted to be well, now.
“Soon enough, Time will fly. Doc will keep you very busy for a bit.” Balta knew. Balta had done this with his riding arm, the poor muscles ripped and torn. Joa remembered that as if it was yesterday, how grumpy Balta had been.
Now it was his turn.
He closed his eyes again, the world spinning, nice and slow. He could hear Balta and Raul murmuring to each other, nothing urgent, so he let himself drift.
He was safe, settled, and soon he would be home.