Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
PERCY
I pull my coat tighter around me to ward off the flurries of snow dancing in the air and pick up my pace, breaking into a full-out jog by the time I reach Sweat. I sigh at the rush of warmth that greets me when I pull the door open and step inside.
I can’t believe how familiar and comforting the sounds of the gym have become over the past few months.
The clang of metal, grunts of exertion, and the low hum of chatter are welcoming instead of intimidating now.
I’m different too. Every time I look in the mirror I see more of the man I didn’t realize I wanted to be until Butch helped me see it.
I walk with more confidence, I wear clothes that show off more of my body without feeling any nervousness or shame, I go jogging first thing in the morning for fuck’s sake.
Six-months-ago-Percy wouldn’t recognize me, but he would definitely have checked out my rock-hard ass.
Callan is behind the desk, and I spot Butch with a client, doing burpees together near the free weights. The sweat glistening on his skin makes my body heat instantly at the thought of stripping his clothes off and licking every salty drop off of him.
“Morning, Rocky. You’re early. Butch should be finishing up soon,” Callan says, dragging my attention away from my dirty fantasies. I force my eyes off of my boyfriend and lean on the desk with a smile.
“Cool. Can you check my account for me real quick? I don’t think my membership and personal training fee came out this month.
” When you’re living on the meager salary of a TA, it’s pretty noticeable when one of your regular payments doesn’t come out.
Not that I wasn’t excited for about two seconds to see that I had extra cash, but that feeling was short lived, and luckily, I didn’t do anything crazy like splurge on the new fitness watch I really wanted.
There’s a cold breeze and the brief sound of outside traffic behind me while Callan turns to the computer and looks up my account.
He chuckles after a second. “Looks like Butch took care of it for you. He gave you his guest membership that we each get as part of our benefits.”
“What?” I frown. “He didn’t have to do that.”
“Hey, what the fuck?” Slater leans over the desk right next to me, with flakes of snow still melting in his hair and his gym bag slung over his shoulder. “Why am I still paying every month then? AJ, you ass, you owe me, like, a year’s worth of gym fees.”
“I forgot,” AJ says, hopping off the treadmill he’s on and giving Slater an apologetic smile.
I stifle a laugh as the two of them quietly bicker until they end up kissing.
“Never a dull day around here, huh?”
“We like to keep it interesting,” Callan says with a smirk.
I fiddle with the strap on my bag and step away from the desk.
Since Butch is still busy, I shrug off my coat and eye the locker room.
I could go in and hang my stuff up. That wouldn’t be scary at all.
Then I wouldn’t be leaving big puddles on the floor either, so it’s the responsible thing to do.
I need to dry my shoes since they’re damp from the snow too, otherwise I could slip and break my neck.
I glance over my shoulder, hoping Butch will be there, ready to offer me moral support to overcome this very tiny yet somehow monumental hurdle. But he’s stretching with his client, so I guess I’m on my own.
No big deal. I’m not even getting naked.
I let out a breath and march towards the locker room, pushing the door open with more force than necessary.
The smell of gym socks and sweat immediately fills my nose.
A couple of showers are running, making the air humid, and I can hear laughter and voices echoing thanks to all the tile covering the floors and walls.
I step inside and my stomach flutters with a mixture of nerves and excitement. I’m doing it, I’m in a locker room.
A man strides by in a towel and gives me a passing nod of acknowledgment. I nod back and grip my bag so tightly that my hand cramps.
I’m not even getting naked. It’s fine, I remind myself.
My shoes squeak against the floor and I keep my eye on the finish line like Butch has been coaching me to do, focusing on the empty lockers in the first row.
Another man brushes past me to get to his own locker, not even looking in my direction as he pulls his sweat-drenched shirt off mid-stride.
His lack of acknowledgment loosens some of the tension in my shoulders.
Nobody in here cares. No one thinks I’m out of place.
I’m just another gym member putting my stuff into a locker.
A quiet laugh vibrates in my chest. I really am being ridiculous, aren’t I?
This isn’t high school, where I was hyperaware of all of the girls around me, seemingly so comfortable in their own skin, complementing each other’s bras and giggling together while I tried to figure out the best way to change into my gym clothes without being fully naked in front of anyone.
The worst part was, I couldn’t figure out why I felt so uncomfortable and ashamed.
Maybe it wouldn’t have made it any easier to know then anyway.
I’ll never know. What I do know is that this is different.
I’m a grown man now, with a body that feels right and nothing to be afraid of anymore.
My next exhale loosens the knots in my stomach and takes with it a weight that’s felt like lead in my gut for too many years. I pull open the locker and hang my bag and coat, then I sit down on the bench and unlace my shoes so I can dry them off under the hand dryer.
I bump into Butch’s client on my way out of the locker room, and we trade brief, friendly smiles. Butch is just on the other side of the door, and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees me step out.
“I saw you come in, and then I thought you must have left or something,” he says.
“Nope, just hanging my stuff up in the locker room.” I grin, and a weighty silence passes between us for a second, like Butch isn’t sure whether he should make a big deal about me finally going into the locker room and I’m not sure if it warrants a celebration.
He settles for cupping my chin and pressing a quick kiss to my lips without saying anything else about it.
“Your goal is five miles today. Are you ready?”
“You bet your ass I am.”
BUTCH
Five point two miles crushed, plus a free weight circuit, and Percy is glowing with pride… and sweat. He dabs his face with a towel and looks past me towards the locker room again.
“I need to grab my stuff,” he says, pausing and licking his lips before dragging his gaze to me. “And I think I’ll change here before heading to campus. My office really is too small to change in. It’s been a huge pain in the ass.”
My heart surges with pride, but I’m not sure how big a deal I should make about this. Not because I don’t think it’s huge, but because I don’t want to embarrass him or draw attention to it.
“Cool. I actually need to swap shirts too. This one is getting a little ripe after three back-to-back training sessions this morning.”
Percy bites his lip and grins at me, like he’s glad I caught on to his need for moral support without him having to ask. Like there was ever a question about that. Of course I have his back. Always.
The big, warm feeling that’s made a home in my chest and sunk its claws in, just waiting for me to name it out loud, pulses with a growing urgency.
Like if I don’t tell him soon, it’ll just burst out on its own whether I like it or not.
My throat tightens and my tongue feels heavy.
I can’t tell Percy I love him for the first time at the gym.
The problem is, ever since I realized it a month ago, that night we ate Chinese food and then stayed up all night talking in my bed after the guys had all gone home, I haven’t found the perfect moment to tell him.
I can’t decide if I should make it a thing, take him to a fancy dinner or something, and tell him over some expensive French wine with a name I can’t pronounce.
Or if it should be more spontaneous, like during sex or over morning coffee.
He starts towards the locker room, and I shake myself out of my thoughts to follow him.
I notice just a second of hesitation before he pushes the door open and then beelines for the first row of lockers.
He picked the locker just across from mine, so I follow him, stripping my sweaty shirt over my head while he enters his combination.
I never can remember what combination I set, so I stopped bothering.
If someone wants to steal the extra set of clothes, they can have them.
With his back to me, Percy rummages in his bag, pulling out his polo shirt and slacks, then tugs his shirt over his head.
I’m positive that no one at Sweat would ever give him a hard time, even if they happened to notice the faint top surgery scars on his chest. And if they did, I would beat the hell out of them before having Dre blacklist them for life.
But I still keep my guard up, one eye trained on the end of the aisle for anyone who might appear and make him uncomfortable or nervous.
He strips his joggers off next, leaving him in just a jockstrap, the straps framing his sexy ass.
I noticed he switched from briefs to jocks after he asked about chafing, and damn, am I glad I gave him that suggestion.
I let my eyes wander over him greedily. The cute little ass he walked in here with a few months ago is now round and firm from all the squats I’ve had him do, his legs are carved with slender muscles from all the running, and his arms and shoulders have just enough definition to make any man in their right mind want to run their tongue over every hard plane.
Percy looks at me over his shoulder, and a grin immediately forms on his lips when he catches me staring.
“Like what you see?” he teases, wiggling his ass temptingly.
“Damn right, I do.”
I snag a towel out of my locker, wind it up, and snap it against his ass. He squeals and jumps.
“Did you seriously just towel snap me?” He laughs, rubbing the sore spot with one hand and grabbing his own towel with the other.
“I figured it was a rite of passage for your first time in the locker room.” I shrug and then dodge out of the way with a booming laugh of my own as he clumsily tries to snap me back. “Your technique’s all wrong. Let me show you.”
I wind up my towel again and snap it at his thigh this time. He jumps out of the way at the last second and then copies what I just did. He manages to get my hip this time, so it’s better.
“Maybe this is what I should write my PhD thesis on,” he says with a chuckle, dropping his towel and pulling his shirt on. “‘Rituals of masculinity culture’ has a nice ring to it, and I would certainly be able to give it a unique and interesting perspective.”
“Hell yeah, you would,” I say supportively.
He finishes pulling his clothes on as I put on a fresh shirt, and then he steps over the bench between us and moves close to me.
He tilts his head so he can look into my eyes and puts his hands on my chest, a sweet smile playing on his lips that makes my chest ache and my throat tight all over again.
“I love you, Butch. Maybe it’s weird to say that for the first time in a locker room that stinks like unwashed jockstraps, but I do.
I love your big heart and your kindness.
I love your smile and your optimism and everything about the way you view the world.
And I love the person I am when I’m with you… the person I am because of you.”
I stare at him, my heart thundering for a long time until a laugh bursts past my lips.
“Dammit, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you for a month now and you just did it so much better than I could.
” I card my fingers through his hair and lean down to rest my forehead against his, our noses brushing.
“I love you, Rocky, Percy, baby. I’m fucking wild about you.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I didn’t think I’d like it, feeling so out of control and fucking vulnerable. But with you, I do.”
His lips find mine in a kiss that’s a little clumsy because neither of us can stop smiling, but fucking perfect anyway, right here in the stink of the locker room. It might be a month late, but it’s finally extremely obvious to me that anything is perfect as long as it’s Percy and me.