Chapter 15
ETHAN
I wanted nothing more than to go home, faceplant in bed, and pretend tonight never happened. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to faceplant, given the way my left cheekbone was throbbing, but whatever. I could lie on my back. Stare at the ceiling. Close my eyes and blot out this whole stupid game.
Or, well, about twenty seconds of the game. And the five minutes I’d spent in the box. And how much I’d wanted to die when I’d confirmed that Jake was still in the stands. And the horror when I’d looked up later and realized he was gone.
Oh, fuck. Had he bailed? Had he watched me fight and decided I was a lost cause as both a student and a boyfriend?
No, Ethan. No, that wasn’t what happened. He’d gone to the locker room with Carson toward the end of the third period, just like we’d all planned. I’d remembered that when I’d walked in there myself seconds before Carson was proposing to Marek. Just like we’d all planned.
Maybe that asshole had punched me harder than I thought and I needed to go on concussion protocol after all. Except, no, I didn’t have any concussion symptoms. My neck hurt and my cheek hurt, but my head was fine. I hadn’t even hit it on the ice when we’d gone down.
Which was good, since I hadn’t been wearing a helmet.
Because he’d knocked it off my stupid head.
And then I’d tripped over it.
Did my boyfriend-slash-fighting-coach have to be here for that? Did he really? Could he have maybe come to literally any other game in the season besides tonight?
But he wouldn’t have missed tonight because he was helping Carson propose to Marek, and I’d just been the dumbass who’d picked tonight to drop gloves with someone twice my damn size.
Fuck my liiife.
And there was no going home and wallowing either. Carson and Marek were in an understandably festive mood, and they wanted us to join them to celebrate their engagement.
What was I going to do? Say no?
“We’ll meet you guys there.” Carson was beaming as he held his fiancé’s hand on the way out of the locker room. “Whoever gets there first, grab a table for four?”
“Whoever gets there first.” Marek scoffed, his eyes dancing with mischief even while he still had that dopey in-love expression. “You say that like your lead foot won’t get us there ten minutes before—”
“That’s enough out of you.” Carson let go of Marek’s hand, wrapped his arm around his waist, and kissed his cheek. “Brat.”
They exchanged a few words in Czech, and I was glad I couldn’t understand them.
“God, you two are so gross,” Jake said, wrinkling his nose. “Get a room!”
They both flipped him off, and the four of us laughed as we continued toward the parking lot. The lovebirds left in Carson’s car, and Jake and I got into mine.
“They’re just going to leave Marek’s car?” Jake gestured at it, still parked beside Mags’s truck.
I shrugged as I started the engine. “Eh, they might come back for it later. Or one of us will give Marek a lift to practice.” I chuckled quietly and added, “God knows he’s driven half the team in when they’re hungover or still drunk.”
“Hungover? Still drunk? At practice?”
Grimacing, I nodded. “I don’t know how they do it. I did it one time—never again.”
Jake shuddered. “With as loud as it is when the pucks hit the walls—fuck, my head hurts just thinking about it.”
“Yeah, it’s not fun.”
Silence fell, and I chewed my lip as I drove.
I could feel Jake watching me, but I didn’t dare so much as glance at him to confirm it.
For all I knew, he was staring out the window and not paying attention to me at all, but was I rational tonight?
No. No, I wasn’t. And now I was alone in the car with the man who was probably disappointed in me as a fighting student and trying to come up with a tactful way to tell me he was no longer attracted to me after—
“How’s your face?”
Without thinking, I flicked my eyes toward him. Yep, he was watching me. Adjusting my grip on the wheel as I stared at the road ahead, I murmured, “It’s okay. Probably looks worse than it is.”
“Didn’t look too bad. You’ll probably have a bruise in the morning, but it’s not swollen or anything.”
I couldn’t read anything into his tone. If he was disappointed that I’d had my ass kicked by someone who hadn’t even hit me that hard? If he was trying to segue into what a pathetic loser I was? No idea.
“I’ll ice it later,” I muttered. “It’ll be fine.”
Silence again.
I slowed to a stop at a red light and kept staring straight ahead, my stomach twisting with emotions I shouldn’t have had after a win and watching my friend get engaged.
“Hey,” Jake said after a while. “Are you good tonight?”
I tapped my thumbs on the wheel. A second too late, I realized I could’ve looked at him innocently, asked, “Hmm?” and pretended everything was fine.
A second too late.
His hand slid over my thigh, the touch more tentative than I was used to from him, which said a lot. “Ethan. Talk to me.”
I pushed out a breath. The light turned green, which gave me an excuse to keep staring at the road instead of looking at him. I had no idea how to navigate this, and I finally just blurted out, “Whatever you want to say, just say it.”
His fingers twitched with sudden tension. “Huh?”
“I… ” I exhaled, letting my shoulders drop. “My fight. I get it. It was pathetic, and it was probably a serious turnoff, and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean, a ‘serious turnoff’?”
I gripped the wheel tighter and ground my teeth.
“Come on, dude. I’m not stupid. You watched me get my ass handed to me, and the icing on that clown show cake was me tripping over my own stupid helmet.
” My face was on fire, which only made the throbbing worse, and I glared at the road as I added, “Not really a turn-on, you know?”
He was silent for almost an entire block. “Do you… Do you think I’d dump you over that or something? Is that where this is going?”
I was too embarrassed to answer. And also too afraid that he was going to say, “Well, you’re right, and now you’re single, because—”
“Pull over for a second.”
“Pull—” I glanced at him. “what?”
“Just do it.”
Stomach in knots, I did as I was told, grateful we were on a side street with ample parking instead of anywhere near the Strip. With the car in Park and the engine idling, I took my hands off the wheel, but I kept my gaze fixed ahead of me.
“Ethan. Look at me.”
God, couldn’t he see how much it sucked to look him in the eye right now?
I did, though, and I couldn’t read his expression. He seemed earnest and open, but beyond that… I had no idea where this was going. Besides the obvious, anyway. Maybe he’d just wanted me to pull over so I didn’t run off the road when he dumped me.
“During that fight,” he said gently, “did he hit your mouth?”
I blinked. “My—no. Just… ” I gestured at my cheek. “He didn’t touch my mouth.”
“Good.” Jake’s seat belt snapped back, and before I could make sense of anything, he touched my neck and kissed me.
I tensed for a second. Of all the ways this conversation could have gone…
Despite still feeling like the worst fighter and least attractive boyfriend, I couldn’t resist Jake’s mouth. I returned his kiss, and he let it go on for a long, sweet moment. When he pulled back, he looked about as dazed as I felt.
He swept the tip of his tongue across his lips, and his voice came out as a hoarse whisper. “Still think dumping you is on my mind?”
I stared at him. Nothing was on my mind because his mouth had erased every thought in my head.
Jake caressed the uninjured side of my face. “I know you’re embarrassed about that fight. But you want to know what I was thinking while I was watching?”
Cringing, I said, “Probably not, but go ahead.”
He laughed softly. “Honestly? I was just thinking that I should’ve worked with you on how to get out of a headlock.” He half-shrugged as he sheepishly added, “It wasn’t something I thought you’d need to learn, but apparently it is.”
“It… really?”
“I hadn’t seen much of it in the hockey fights I watched on YouTube. But now I know that’s something we should go over.”
Some of the tension in my spine and shoulders eased. “Oh.”
“And dude, tripping over the helmet?” He shook his head.
“When I fight, there isn’t random debris on the mat, you know?
Plus I’m not on skates and I’m sure as shit not on ice.
You were in a headlock, on skates, on ice, getting ready to throw a punch while that asshole was still whaling on you.
” He chuckled softly, and not at all unkindly.
“Man, you stayed on your feet longer than I would’ve in that situation. ”
I sagged against the driver seat and avoided his eyes. Well, fuck. Now I felt like an even bigger idiot. Not only had I been wrong about how Jake would see me, but I’d painted him as a total asshole in my mind.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I don’t… I shouldn’t have thought you were… ”
“It got into your head. It happens.” He reeled me back in for a light kiss. “Getting beaten in front of people is embarrassing. It sucks. I won’t tell you it doesn’t.” His grin lit up the whole night. “But you’re going to have to work harder than that to get rid of me.”
That actually made me laugh, which made me lightheaded with relief. “Okay. Okay, that’s good to know.” I looked at him through my lashes. “So you’ve had some bad ones too?”
He grimaced. “The worst fight of my career was the last of Carson’s.”
I straightened again. “Oh. Shit. I—God, I completely forgot about—”
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He took my hand and laced our fingers together.
“Not gonna lie—I haven’t gone a single day since then without wishing I could go back and change things, and I won that fight.
” He squeezed my hand. “Getting knocked around in a scuffle like the one you had tonight—I mean, yeah, it’s not fun.
I don’t blame you for feeling shitty about it.
But all it did was show me what I, as your coach, need to focus on going forward.
As your boyfriend?” He shook his head. “It doesn’t even register.
” He paused, and his lips quirked, “Well, aside from noticing that you’re hot as hell when you’re mad and coming to the defense of your teammate. ”
A laugh burst out of me. “What? Seriously?”
“Well, yeah.” He half-shrugged, and though it was hard to tell in the low light, I thought he blushed. “Someone took a cheap shot at Marek. Hell, from what Carson told me, they could’ve really hurt him. Tonight of all nights.”
“Ooh, shit, I didn’t even think about that.” I exhaled. “I was so pissed that he boarded Marek, but I didn’t connect that it was tonight.”
Jake chuckled. “Maybe it was just as well. If you’d remembered that, you’d have been even madder, and you might’ve hurt that guy.”
“He would’ve deserved it,” I growled. Then I rewound what he said. “Wait, you think I actually could’ve taken him? Dude was huge!”
“He was, and you still took him on.” He brought up my hand and kissed my palm. “With some more training, especially now that I know what to focus on, yeah, you could take someone like that.”
I cocked a brow. “Sooo, how many lessons before I should start picking fights with huge enforcers just to test myself?”
Jake laughed and rolled his eyes. “Oh my God… ”
I chuckled. Then I leaned across the console, and I was the one to kiss him this time. “Thank you. I don’t know why I thought… Ugh, I don’t know. I’m sorry, though.”
He grinned and kissed me lightly. “It’s okay. I get it. I’m just glad we’re back on the same page.”
“We are. And let’s not wait for my face to heal for another lesson. I want to unfuck this shit.”
He snorted, and he was about to retort when one of our phones pinged with a text.
“Is that you or me?” I asked.
“Me.” He tugged his phone out of his pocket, furrowed his brow, then laughed again. “Carson and Marek are asking where we are.”
“Shit. Okay. Guess we should get going, then.”
“Good idea.”
We shared one last kiss. Then I pulled back onto the road.
“I’ll let them know we’re on our way,” he said. As he started typing, he read his own words out loud: “On… our… way. Stopped… for… quickie… ”
I burst out laughing. “Really?”
“What?” His grin was toothy. He kept typing. “Will… be there… after… Ethan… ” He paused. “Stupid autocorrect. Come on. Will be there after Ethan… puts… on… his… pants.”
I rolled my eyes and kept driving. In seconds, Jake’s phone pinged with a reply, and he howled with laughter.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.