Chapter 2 #3
When I glance over my shoulder, I see his hands shake as he takes the necklace from the box. I pull my hair to one side, biting the inside of my lip as warmth fills my chest.
The chain is cool against my neck.
His knuckles graze the back of my neck, and for a second, his hands go still, like he forgot what he was doing.
Then he fumbles with the clasp. “Fuck,” he mutters. “Why are these things so—”
“You’re doing fine.”
“Seriously, how do girls—”
He cuts off at my giggle, huffing out through his nose.
“Jesus,” he mutters as he finally gets it.
When he releases the delicate chain, it feels absurdly heavy on my skin. I touch the butterfly pendant and catch myself thinking about Bastian again.
We haven’t spoken about him. I’ve wanted to several times, but it always felt like it would spoil the moment. And God, we were so happy down at the beach. I don’t know if there’s a single place on earth that could ever rival those woods behind the trailer park, but that beach house came damn close.
But now that we’re back…now that Kai’s given me this necklace…
I blow out a slow breath, eyes squeezing shut. It’s easier with my back still turned.
“Has he messaged you?” I blurt out.
Kai’s hands freeze on my shoulders. “Rooke?”
It’s not a question, though, not really.
It’s as if he’s buying time to figure out whether or not to lie to me.
He—hopefully—chooses truth. “Not since we left. You?” But then his hand glides up my neck, and he speaks before I can answer.
“Wait, never mind. Forgot your phone’s still busted. We’ve gotta get you a new one.”
I think about the new phone hidden inside my tote bag. The one Bastian gave me as another way to bind me to him.
“It’s weird, right?” I murmur, turning to face Kai. “We’ve been gone a week.”
“That was the deal,” Kai says carefully. “If we did what he wanted, he’d leave us alone. So this is him, leaving us alone.”
I snort. “Yeah, because Bastian is so good at respecting boundaries.” I slump back in my seat. I roll my head to the side, staring at Kai until he side-eyes me. “I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t be mad.”
He shrugs even as a muscle in his jaw starts to tic.
“I saw him again after.”
Kai looks away so quickly, I’m surprised he doesn’t sprain his eyes. We both know after what.
The kiss in the lecture hall we traded for our freedom.
“I know,” Kai says in a thick voice. My heart stutters at the thought that he somehow saw me and Bastian in my dorm room, that he was watching again like he did the day Bastian—
But then he carries on speaking. “We were both at the football game when he—”
“No,” I cut in impatiently. “After that. He…” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
Why does this feel so…incriminating?
“He came to GAZ the morning after you fucked up my room.”
Kai stiffens beside me. “You were alone with him?” His voice is level, but his hand tightens on my thigh.
“Briefly.” I clear my throat, shifting. “That cop arrived.” I add, “Thank God,” under my breath.
“So much for the fucking deal,” Kai mutters. He sits forward, elbows on his knees, his tall frame hunching as he drags his fingers through his sandy hair. “He cornered me at the hospital.”
“No! What? You didn’t tell me you went to the hospital! Or about Bastian!”
He leans away from me, shaking his head. “Ezra wasn’t even awake. And Rooke was…just being Rooke.” The disgust in his voice calls him out on the lie, but I don’t want to push him for more info in case he expects the same from me.
“What are we gonna do, Kai?” I murmur, staring past his head and through the little kitchen window to the oak tree outside. “What the fuck are we gonna do?”
He says nothing.
And I let him.
I’m guessing he’s as clueless as I am right now. We tried to run, but our professor was with us the whole time like a ghost we couldn’t outrun. He’s still with us.
And I’m not sure if that terrifies me or excites me.
Maybe both.
I touch the butterfly pendant again.
Outside, a gust of wind slaps the oak tree’s leaves against the window. Some are already changing color.
Somewhere in Agony Hollow, my father’s body lies in a morgue, silent and waiting for an autopsy.
Somewhere else, a rich, manipulative, too-handsome and too fucking intelligent psycho is just as silent. And he’s probably waiting, too, though fuck knows for what.
Kai glances at me, blinking slowly as a sad smile spreads across his mouth.
Like I’m the only thing in his universe he’s sure of anymore.
Fuck, how I wish I could just be straight with him and shatter that illusion before it drags us both even deeper into this mess.
Because there’s nothing real about me. I’m just a trick of light that makes you think you see something solid.
But I’m not brave enough to open my mouth.
Guess we’re more alike than we realized.
When Kai just keeps looking at me with that hopeful expression, I slide over on the sofa until our bodies touch. He barely hesitates before dragging me into a straddle over his muscular thighs.
I plant a kiss on the side of his neck, trailing my lips up, over his jaw, over his chin. His mouth responds to mine eagerly, greedily. When I rock into his lap, he’s already hard.
We fumble with our clothing, panting against each other’s lips as I wrestle away just enough of Kai’s sweatpants for his cock to escape. When he pushes inside me, I gasp—not from the stretch, but from the relief of finally having something to feel that isn’t grief or guilt or dread.
My hands slide into his hair, twisting, and he groans against my neck. For a few perfect minutes, my brain goes blissfully quiet.
Fuck being reasonable and working shit out like adults.
We’d both rather be doing this.
It’s stupid and immature and won’t fix anything…but fuck it feels too right.
Kai’s right. I am a junkie.
But my drug of choice isn’t something you smoke or snort or inject.
It’s pretending everything’s fine while the whole world rots underneath you.
And I’ve never been more strung out than I am right now.