Chapter 4 Haven
Haven
Walking back into the GAZ house feels like returning to a crime scene. A White Gardenia scented crime scene, where the only thing murdered was my self-esteem and hope of ever fitting in.
The sorority house’s manicured lawn is nothing like Ashwood High.
God, how I hated that dump. Peeling paint, barbed wire looped over the rusted chain-link fence. The metal detectors we had to walk through just to get inside—more a run-down prison than school.
“Bet you never thought you’d live in a place like this,” Kai says, as if he’s reading my mind.
“I don’t live here anymore,” I murmur, half to myself. “Come on, let’s find Melissa and get my stuff.”
“Thought you didn’t want your stuff.”
“I don’t. Not really. But it’s mine, so.” I shrug. “If I leave it here, they’ll probably burn it.” When I glance over at him and see his frown, I add, “Bubonic plague.”
Kai snorts, but there’s a tightness around his eyes. Guess he’s still pissed about what happened at the dean’s office. Or maybe he’s just stressed. It’s so hard to tell with him.
The front door is unlocked because these girls have never had to worry about anything being stolen in their lives.
Wonder what that’s like.
Abigail is perched on the edge of one of the floral sofas in the living area, studying her manicure. The fall-inspired scented candle she lit wars bravely with the stench of her nail polish, but it’s a losing battle.
“Haven,” she greets without looking up. “Thought you were never coming back.”
“Surprise,” I say dryly. “Melissa around?”
Abigail finally raises her eyes, and her gaze goes straight to Kai. Lingering. Assessing. Finding him unworthy. Probably because he’s got a sucker in his mouth like a three-year-old. I’m glad the lollipop habit helped him give up cigarettes, but would it kill him to chew gum in public?
Although I’m definitely not complaining about the raspberry-flavored kisses I get when he’s done.
“Nope.” She stands, smoothing her freshly painted hands down her lime-green leggings, her cropped sweater riding up. “Haven’t seen her since Sunday.”
I frown at her, unease trickling down my spine like icy rainwater. “Where is she?”
“How the hell should I know?”
Abigail crosses the living room to blow out the candle on the fireplace mantel with the grace that comes from years of yoga lessons. “Glad you finally got the message about your things. The new girl’s arriving this weekend.”
“Wait, what?” I blink, mind racing. “You’re kicking me out?”
Abigail turns, blowing on her fingernails. “Hillary tried to contact you. When you didn’t bother calling back, she gave your bed to a legacy pledge.” She shrugs, her eyes flicking to Kai again. “We assumed you’d moved on.”
I laugh bitterly. “Assumed.”
“What were we supposed to think?”
That I was coming back.
That I belonged here.
That maybe, just fucking maybe, I wasn’t just a charity case.
Fuck them. I’ve got somewhere better now.
“So you’ve packed up Melissa’s stuff too, then?” I snap.
Kai wraps his fingers around my arm and squeezes. I pull out of his grip without looking at him.
Abigail frowns faintly. “Why would we?”
“She’s moved on too, right?”
“She’ll be back soon.”
“I’m back,” I spit out. “And sooner than her.”
“Are you?” Abigail drawls.
My mouth works for a moment before I admit defeat. “Whatever. Where’s my stuff?”
“In the laundry room.”
“In the—?”
“Can I get Melissa’s number?” Kai cuts in. “We really need to speak to her.”
Abigail’s eyebrow arches so high it nearly disappears into her hairline. “Please. I don’t give out my sisters’ numbers to randos.”
“Kai’s not a—“
“Why don’t you have her number?” Abigail’s eyes flick back to mine. “She’s your roommate.”
Wow. Abandon your things in a sorority for a week while you take a much-needed vacation, suddenly everyone’s your fucking enemy.
“Her phone’s busted,” Kai says. “Come on, man, don’t be a bitch. Just give Haven—“
“Ex-cuse me?”
Yikes.
Dogs in Ashwood Crossing are probably howling.
Abigail pushes away from the mantel with her hip, taking a step forward like she intends grievous bodily harm upon my boyfriend.
I turn to him. “Give us a minute, would you?”
He frowns. “Why—”
“Just…could you go get my stuff?”
His jaw tightens, but he nods. “Yeah. Fine.”
He heads into the kitchen, and I wait until I hear his footsteps fade before turning back to Abigail.
“Your boyfriend’s got some nerve,” she says.
“He’s not my—“ I cut myself off.
Because he kind of is, isn’t he?
We fucked in Rooke’s car this morning. We’re holding hands in public. He gave me a necklace. He said, “We’re doing this.”
So yeah. I guess he is.
“He’s just stressed,” I say instead.
Abigail doesn’t look convinced.
“I just need to go check you got all my stuff,” I say, making a beeline for the stairs.
“We did!” Abigail calls after me.
“You can frisk me on the way out,” I yell back when she looks like she’s going to follow me upstairs.
I stop just out of sight on the first-floor landing. I couldn’t care less about anything left behind—I just need somewhere private. I dig through my tote until I find my grubby cosmetic bag.
Inside, still half-wrapped in bubble wrap, is the new phone Bastian sent me. Even in the dim hallway light, it looks like it costs more than everything I own—still gleaming, not a scratch on the matte black case.
Should have told Kai about this phone ages ago, but when was I supposed to break the news? Before sex? After sex? While we were curled up in front of the fireplace eating a pizza? Admitting I’d kept such an expensive gift from Bastian was guaranteed to have ruined our vacation.
I turn on the phone, willing it to start up faster.
The lock screen photo stops me cold.
Lookout Point at sunset. The view of Agony Hollow spreading out below, all golden light and shadow.
The phone vibrates furiously in my palm, notifications spilling onto the screen. I ignore all of them, go straight to my messenger app, and fire off a text to Melissa.
@lee.haven
You okay? Please text me. I need your help.
“Guess you found Melissa’s number,” Abigail says over my shoulder.
“Jesus!” I jump, the phone dropping to the carpet.
“Your boyfriend’s waiting for you,” she says, and then grabs the phone from the floor before I can stop her.
She turns it over, giving it the same appraising look she gave Kai. “Doesn’t look all that busted to me.”
“Give it back.” I snatch it out of her hands and shove it into my tote bag, scowling at her over my shoulder when she follows me down the stairs.
Kai’s in the foyer with a duffel bag on each shoulder, sucker tucked in the corner of his mouth.
I’m thrown back in time to the night after the social committee meeting. The night he nearly fucked me under the bed, after stripping off my dress with a kitchen knife.
“Ta ta!” Abigail coos as we head for the front door. “Oh, and love the new phone Haven. My brother got one just like it. Says the battery lasts for-e-ver.”
“She’s lost her fucking mind,” I mutter.
Maybe if my legs hadn’t stuttered mid-step, I’d have pulled it off.
Kai throws me an incredulous look, snorts, and shoves his way out of GAZ like we just set fire to the place.
I flip off Abigail with a scowl, but she just wiggles her fingers at me, a frosty smile on her mouth.
Fucking bitch.
Outside, Kai’s already marching toward our Airbnb.
“Kai—”
“How long?”
I have to jog to catch up. “How long what?”
He stops so abruptly I run into him. “When did he give it to you, Haven?”
My mouth works for a second before I blurt out, “I was going to—”
“Jesus.” He storms off again, his long legs eating up the distance. I’m left with no choice but to scurry after him like a lost dog. Kai told me it would take less than twenty minutes to walk back to the Airbnb, but I had no idea he was going to be going at this pace.
“Kai, slow down!”
No dice.
“I was going to give it back!”
He just keeps walking.
“Or throw it away,” I add meekly.
“Then why didn’t you?” he growls when I finally match his speed.
“Because—” I blow out a breath. “I don’t know. I just…I thought I could sell it or something.”
It’s a half-truth, and somehow he knows it.
Sure, I could score a few bucks from selling the thing. But I kept it because it felt like insurance. An emergency plan, if all else failed. A way back to the man I knew I should hate more than anything in the world…but who I couldn’t get out of my fucking head.
Which is fucked up in about seventeen different ways.
Kai’s jaw works. I guess he finished his sucker, but it looks like he needs a new one. “You know he’s been tracking you with that thing this whole fucking time, right?”
How could I forget? Bastian always has an ulterior motive.
“Fuck.” I yank the phone back out of my tote, hands shaking. “Should I like dismantle it or something?”
“Don’t bother.” Kai shifts the duffel bags, glancing at the phone. “Those don’t have removable batteries.”
“You really think he’s been tracking me this whole time?”
“Us. And yeah. Of fucking course he has.”
“Fuck!” I stare at the phone like it’s about to detonate in my hand. “What do I do?”
“Get rid of it.” Kai gives me a condescending once over, then snorts and shakes his head. “Can’t, can you?”
It suddenly feels like I’m running through fucking tar. Kai keeps walking, not looking back, still shaking his head as he fumbles in his pocket for another sucker.
He’s right.
I can’t. I don’t know why, but I fucking can’t.
I watch as Kai moves further and further away.
Then I watch myself with wide eyes as my numb fingers open the VibeFeed app. Bastian’s last few DMs catch my eye.
@inherentvice
He can’t give you what you need.
Not like I can.
He sent that the day after we left Agony Hollow. Then, a few days later, came two in quick succession.
@inherentvice
He thinks he’s saving you. And you’re too busy pretending to be a good girl to correct him, aren’t you?
How long can you keep up the act, sweet girl?
The last, most sinister one came yesterday just past four in the morning.
@inherentvice
I’ve been patient.
But even I have limits.
I scroll past his messages and type.
@bssweetgirl
Where are you?
I stare at the screen, thumb hovering over the send button.
Don’t do it.
Don’t be an idiot.
Just delete it and—
My thumb hits send, my stomach lurching as the message goes through with a soft whoosh.
Oh fuck.
What did I just do?
Somehow, I wrench back control from my mutinous body and stab down on the message I just sent.
The relief when I hit delete and see the message disappear is instantaneous.
As is the horror when three dots appear.
@inherentvice
I saw that.
The dots pop up again as Bastian starts typing another message, but I don’t wait to see what he sends. I throttle the phone’s power button until it shuts down, and shove it into my bag as soon as the screen goes black.
Kai glances at me as I draw level with him again. His words are muffled around his sucker when he grumbles, “Might as well have sent him a fucking map pin.”
Suddenly, I’m convinced he knows I messaged Bastian. But then I realize he’s talking about the tracking app.
Damn. Guilt sets in fast these days.
…I saw that…
I reach out and grab Kai’s hand, fully expecting him to pull away. But he doesn’t resist, and after a second, even adjusts our grip so it’s more comfortable. The way his fingers slot perfectly with mine makes my stomach flutter.
Which just makes it worse.
Bastian’s phone thumps into my hip as we stop at an intersection, and I flinch at the contact. I glance at Kai from under my lashes.
The question isn’t when this nuke in my bag is going to go off.
Because it will.
But who’s going to be caught in the fallout?