Chapter 40 Bastian
Bastian
I’ve heard a lot of confessions in my life. None of them prepared me for Haven, grimy and unkempt with blood splattered on her bare calves, telling us she’d murdered a man and felt victorious.
Christ, I’ve never been more attracted to anyone in my life.
She’s not even crying.
I expected tears. Hysterics. An emotional collapse that would require careful handling and soft words and all the things I’m spectacularly bad at.
But she’s just standing there, chin lifted, shoulders pushed back, watching us with those iridescent blue eyes like she’s waiting for the gavel to fall.
“Say something,” she whispers. Her voice is hoarse but steady. “Tell me I’m a monster. Tell me you’re disgusted. Just…say something.”
I open my mouth, but Kai’s snort cuts me off.
“You want us to stand around and talk about our feelings all night?” he mutters sourly. “We’ve got a body to bury, Haven.”
He turns to pick up his shovel, his eyes glowing with anger when the flashlight’s beam hits his face.
Haven’s mouth opens, but she doesn’t reply. When I hand her the flashlight, she takes it silently. Neither of us says a thing as we dispose of her latest victim.
The thought makes Good Wolf pace and Bad Wolf pant.
I stomp the loose soil down harder than necessary over the asshole’s shallow grave. Even Kai handled the dead body with a hell of a lot less care after hearing Haven’s story.
We clean off in the creek’s icy water, using the wipes I keep in the Land Rover as washcloths. We’re almost respectable looking once we’re done. Just three unlikely strangers in the middle of the woods, in the middle of the night.
Nothing to see here.
As soon as we’re done packing all our tools back into the car, Haven murmurs, “I want to go back.”
“We’re leaving now, sweet girl,” I say, heading for the driver’s side door.
She catches my sleeve, halting me mid-step. “Back to the tree.”
“Why?” Kai snaps.
“I…need to make sure…” She hangs her head.
“What? That they’re dead?” Kai scoffs. “Yeah, Haven, they’re fucking dead. Both of them.”
I throw Kai a scathing glare, but he pretends not to see. I know this is a lot for him to process, but he’s certainly testing my fucking patience tonight.
“She needs closure,” I say through gritted teeth. “And, from the way you’re acting, so do you.”
I toss my keys in my hand as I head back to the burial site. I’m only a few steps ahead when Kai, then Haven, follow.
We stand at the base of the maple tree Haven chose to bury her uncle all those years ago, staring at the freshly turned soil. It looks black in the moonlight, like a seam ripped through our dimension straight into the void beyond.
“See? Buried.” Kai shrugs his shoulders. “We good?”
“What the fuck’s your problem?” Haven snaps. “I did a bad thing, okay? I’ve said I’m sorry. What more do you want?”
Kai turns on her, crossing the distance in three strides.
Convinced he’s going to grab her, I lunge after him and seize his shoulder. He doesn’t shake me off, but his entire body is shaking, hands clenched, jaw tight.
“You could have died that night, Haven.”
“Y-yes,” she splutters, her eyes wide as she glances uneasily at me.
Kai makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a growl. His hand shoots out, grabbing her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. I lay my other hand on his bicep, the muscle rock hard under my palm.
“You should have driven away,” he grates. “You should have driven away and just kept driving, but you—” He breaks off, his grip tightening. “You could have fucking died.”
Haven’s lips part. Whatever she expected, it wasn’t this.
“Promise me right here, right now, that you’ll never, ever do that again.”
“I did what I had to do.” Haven’s composure cracks a little. “I can’t promise I won’t have to do that again.”
I had no choice.
She wraps her arms around herself, and I can’t help but see the scared, blood-soaked girl she was that night.
My hand tightens on Kai’s bicep.
“She didn’t have a choice,” I say. “And if she’s ever in that situation again, I hope she protects herself.”
The wind rustles the leaves, making Haven shiver. Kai and I worked up a sweat with all the digging, but all Haven had to do was hold the flashlight. I’m not sure if the tremble of her lips is from the cold, or from her holding back tears.
“Help him understand,” I say softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face. She flinches, then stills. “Tell him how it felt when you realized Lenny wasn’t getting up.” My thumb traces her cheekbone. “Tell us everything.”
Her breath catches.
The three of us are standing close enough that I can feel the heat from both their bodies. She looks at me, then Kai, then down at the ground.
“You enjoyed it, didn’t you?” I murmur, tracing my knuckles down her jaw.
“Rooke—” Kai growls.
“It felt good, didn’t it? So fucking satisfying.” I press, ignoring him. I cup her jaw, tilting her face up toward mine. “When you heard his bones break. When you felt the impact…some part of you loved it.”
Haven’s pupils dilate. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
“Yes,” she breathes.
There it is.
The truth she’s been hiding, even from herself.
“Tell us,” I coax, my thumb stroking her lower lip. “Tell us what it felt like.”
“It felt…amazing.” She swallows hard, eyes skittish as she tries to decide who to look at—me or Kai.
She chooses the ground, then the canopy of leaves above us.
“Like I’d been drowning my whole life, and I finally came up for air.
” Her voice drops to a whisper, a strange, hollow smile touching her mouth.
“I laughed, Bastian. While I was doing it. I laughed, and I couldn’t stop. ”
“Good girl.”
Her eyes flutter, her body swaying toward mine.
“You’re not a monster, Haven.” I lean closer, my lips brushing her ear. “You’re a survivor.” My free hand finds her hip, pulling her against me. “All three of us, we’re survivors.”
“Rooke.” Kai’s voice is strained with warning, but I don’t look at him. I’m too focused on Haven—on the flush creeping up her neck, the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the way she’s gripping my shirt like she’s still afraid I’ll push her away.
“All you did was protect yourself,” I murmur against her ear. “No one else was going to do it.” My hand slides from her hip to the small of her back, pressing her closer. “You should be proud of yourself.”
“I am,” she whispers.
The guilt, the shame, the fear of rejection—it all melts away. When her eyes lock with mine, there’s something feral in them.
She kisses me.
It’s not soft or tentative. It’s desperate, demanding, her fingers fisting in my hair as she pulls me down to her level. I let her take what she needs, opening for her, groaning into her mouth when her teeth catch my lower lip.
“Fuck this.”
Kai’s voice cuts through the haze. Before I can react, he’s grabbing Haven’s arm, ripping her away from me, spinning her around.
“You want to feel better?” He backs her toward the maple tree, his eyes blazing. “You want forgiveness? I don’t even know who the fuck you are anymore!”
Haven’s back hits the trunk. She gasps, her hands flying up to brace against Kai’s chest, but he doesn’t stop. He pins her against the tree with his hips, his other hand going to her throat.
“You could have buried him anywhere, but you put him under our fucking tree.” His voice is low, dangerous, jaw clenching. “This was our place, Haven. Ours,” he hisses.
“Please just—”
“Not him. Them.” He chokes out a laugh. “Two bodies. Two fucking bodies! Who the fuck even are you?”
I clear my throat. “Technically she didn’t kill—“
“Shut it.” Kai snaps, not even looking my way.
“I’m sorry,” Haven says anyway.
“I don’t want your fucking apology.” His hand slides up until his fingers are digging into her jaw.
“Then what do you want?” she growls, glaring up at Kai.
Christ, the look in her eyes is getting me harder than the kiss she just laid on me.
I prowl closer, drawn to their intensity like a moth to a bonfire.
Kai’s chest heaves. His grip on her chin loosens, his thumb brushing over her lips the same way mine did moments ago.
“Show me who you really are,” he says roughly. “Because you aren’t the girl I fell in love with.”
Haven stares up at him, her chest heaving.
I step up, grabbing a fistful of Kai’s hair. He flinches, rolling his eyes to look at me.
“Of course she’s not, boy,” I say, my gaze dropping to the trembling line of Kai’s mouth.
“You fell in love with a child. This…” I yank his head to the side, forcing him closer to Haven, until their noses are almost touching.
“This is a wolf. And if you don’t start treating her right, she’ll devour you and spit out your fucking bones. ”
Haven lets out a sigh, her body melting against the tree as she gives me a dreamy, almost serene look.
Kai doesn’t like that.
He doesn’t like that one bit.
Twisting his hair out of my grip with a wince for the pain, he grabs Haven’s face and crushes his mouth against hers. His other hand darts to his pants, his belt clanking as he rips it open.
Christ.
I step back, but only so I have a better view as Kai frees his cock.
My knees buckle with the urge to sink to my knees and take him into my mouth. Instead, I grab the hem of Haven’s dress and bundle it up her stomach so she’s exposed to both of us.
She makes a sound that goes straight to my cock when Kai grabs her thigh, lifting it up to his waist so he can thrust into her.
I watch him fucking her, my hand gripping her dress tighter and tighter as Kai’s violent thrusts shake the maple leaves above us.
Her arm flails, her hand latching onto my shoulder for support.
I crowd closer, breathing in the scent of them as I grab her thigh and hoist it up, holding her open so Kai can fuck her even harder.
They’re beautiful together.
Brutal and desperate and utterly consumed by each other.
And they’re both mine.