Chapter 4 Alice
ALICE
I feel my heartbeat in my skull as Killian drags me into a dingy room with nothing but a showerhead hanging from the wall. He sets me down and stands waiting.
“You’re allowed one shower before being placed in solitary.”
I’m still trying to recover from what just happened. Was I dreaming, or did the prison warden really just go down on me while I was having a conversation with my lawyer?
My breasts tingle at the memory of his tongue on my precious place, the way he moved so hungrily but handled me gently, respectfully. He told me not to look at him as we shared our forbidden secret.
Killian is a walking contradiction. Cold as snow and ruthlessly commanding one moment, then soft and delicate the next. It’s as if he’s trying to confuse me.
Could it be that he actually cares about me?
No. I must be projecting. I’m number five-oh-seven-five. That’s all I am to him. I can’t let myself hope. Not in here. Not while I’m surrounded by these walls, these bars, these…other men.
Yet still, I can’t shake the memory of what just happened from my mind. And that memory does something to me.
My hands move on their own, through my hair, over my breasts, and down to the tear in my jumpsuit where I’m absolutely soaking, dripping onto the floor.
It must be his spit. I can’t possibly be this wet…can I?
Just the thought sends shivers down my spine. I can’t be attracted to such a brutal man. To such cruelty. And why would I be? It’s only a matter of time before I screw up and he uses that rod on me…
In fact, a shower is just what I need right now. I need to wash him off of me.
Killian pushes me forward into the room, then slams his fist against a steel button on the wall, activating the showerhead.
“Don’t keep me waiting.”
I reach for my top button and almost hesitate. But then I remember—this man has seen me naked already. He’s had his tongue…down there. What do I have left to hide at this point?
I’m covered in him. His scent, his spit, whatever he left on me when he tore my jumpsuit and had his hands on my butt. If I don’t get myself clean now, I’ll never stop thinking about it. About what we did.
So for the second time since I arrived, I strip down naked in front of him. I swear I hear him grunt as my jumpsuit hits the floor. Skin tingling, I step into the water.
It’s freezing cold. A shock to my system. Panicked, I grab the nozzle and the tiny bar of soap and begin scrubbing.
“You want to wash your dirty little body, don’t you?” His voice rumbles from the door. No one has ever spoken to me like this. It makes me feel so small, but at the same time, gives my heart little sparkly jitters.
“I…I have to,” I mutter, scouring myself with the spray. I have to get it all off. It’s the only way I’ll survive.
The tiny soap bar slips from my hands and falls to my feet. I scramble to pick it up, which causes me to drop the shower nozzle. It clangs against the tile, spraying water everywhere.
“Five-oh-seven-five,” he snaps, walking right up to me. “This isn’t a spa. You don’t have the luxury of wasting our water!”
“But I—”
My throat tightens as he grabs me by the arm and presses me down on my back. I can feel each tile, each crack, each seam pressing against my skin as I look up at him, my jaw agape.
His eyes burn with unreadable intensity.
“If you cannot wash yourself, inmate, I’ll do it for you.”
Like I belong to him, he spreads my legs with his hand, and the next thing I feel is the unflinching spray of water there. The place I’ve touched myself before but with no success. Only his tongue was able to make it happen.
A breath catches in my throat as I marvel up at his massive form, pinning me down with ease using only a single hand while ‘washing’ me with his other. His expression is stony, but there’s something else. Cracks beginning to form?
A muscle twitches in his neck. His cheek twitches as he sweeps my body with his eyes.
Does he hate what he’s doing to me? Or does he love it? For the life of me, I can’t tell.
But he is stimulating my most sensitive spot with the showerhead, and my body begins to bloom again. The cold water might as well be boiling as my back arches off the tile. Without thinking, I find my breasts with both hands and squeeze.
God, what am I doing? I’m a wild animal, still buzzing from what he did to me in the visitor’s room.
My first orgasm…
Something I never thought would happen. And now I can feel another approaching.
Splash, splash splash. Is it the water? Or is it…me?
I’m closing in on it again. On that place where he brought me that shone like the stars.
But I’m fighting it.
Why? I don’t know. It just feels…wrong.
I barely know this man. I’m not even sure he cares about me, yet he seems obsessed with my body.
“You’re a bad little angel, aren’t you?” he asks, leaning in, unmistakable lust in his eyes. There’s a bulge between his pants that I try to ignore, but just seeing it is like a high dose of adrenaline.
He leans in closer, the water persisting, massaging my middle, my little secret nub that only he has seen. Each little circle, each precise flick pulls me closer and closer. I pant harder, desperate for air.
His hand moves to my back, pulling me closer. His lips part, and time seems to slow down as I realize what’s about to happen.
He’s going to kiss me!
And he knows he can because Killian Rew can do whatever he wants, and just knowing that sends a distinctly feminine thrill through my body. The last thought I have before our mouths meet is, I hope he likes it.
Our lips touch.
My first kiss.
Strange it would happen after my first orgasm.
He captures my mouth with his, hungrily pressing his tongue against mine, rolling and teasing with soft flicks that ignite my nervous system.
I don’t even know what to do. This is all foreign to me. So I accept it and allow all these new sensations to fill me up.
At this rate…I’m going to come again. The war going on within me continues to rage, and I fight against the storm growing inside me. But it’s no use. I’m beyond the point of no return.
Killian feels it too. He growls into my throat, tightening his grip on my back. Everything swells in me. My nerve endings ignite, thunder claps, and it happens again.
My body rocks, seizing off the floor. I thrash wildly, but Killian presses a firm palm against my chest, holding me down as wave upon wave of pure bliss crashes into me.
My head snaps back. A scream catches in my chest as my body goes tight. I hopelessly reach for something to grip but find nothing. My arms flail wildly, and I feel a sting against my palm and gasp.
Oh my God. I just slapped Killian in the face!
He’s going to kill me.
“How dare you?” he snarls down at me. He’s going to end it now. Take control and deny me my full finish.
But to my surprise, he keeps the shower nozzle in place as I continue to convulse. Ice cold water and I’m still overheating. “You are a criminal, and you raise your hand against me?!”
Why is he doing this? Does he like me or does he hate me?
He licked me, he kissed me, and now he’s pleasuring me while talking to me like I’m the scum of the earth. It’s like two hands on my heart, tugging in different directions.
My hips jerk as the sensation reaches its peak. I’m a rocket that’s run out of fuel and is tumbling back to Earth. I try to slump back to recover, but Killian keeps the water straight on my nub, unrelenting.
It’s too much. I’m just too sensitive. I yelp and try to jerk away, but his firm hand holds me in place. “Wait, wait, wait—" I plead.
“Is this how you repay me for treating you so well?” he asks as the overstimulation rakes through me. “For teaching you what it is to be a woman?”
“It–it’s too much!” I manage to cry out, tears streaming down my cheeks, mixing with the water.
“You mean it’s too good?” he asks, his lips twisting into a smile. A ruler’s smile. The smile of a man who knows he cannot be touched. “Do you want me to stop, Alice? Or do you want to come again?”
Again? The thought hadn’t even occurred to me.
Is that even possible? I’m so tender down there. Every nerve ending in my body is tingling, like I’m being zapped by electricity.
No, I don’t want to come again! That’s what I should yell out. I’m a bad girl, a criminal. I am here to serve my time, not do things like this, things I never even imagined possible.
That’s what Killian told me. And yet now he’s giving me a choice?
My belly is burning. My thighs are sweltering. My little nub is swelling, and the unmistakable heat of my own arousal is dripping down my legs and onto my butt and below.
“Maybe another orgasm will cure you,” he whispers. “Make you learn your lesson.”
What lesson? What is he talking about? I don’t even know, but I’m desperate for his praise.
One moment he’s kissing me, pleasuring me with his mouth, and the next he’s roughly dragging me from room to room, telling me what a bad girl I am. It’s like whiplash, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
Or with the next eruption that takes me.
I thought the last one was intense, but it’s nothing compared to the mind-numbing earthquake that nearly cracks me in half. My body bursts like a bomb, my jaw opening wide with a scream that nearly deafens me.
Killian’s hand clasps over my mouth, somehow thrilling me more. What is this side of me I never knew existed?
Everything inside of me is snapping and rattling as my body shakes and quivers.
My eyes roll back in my head, and my tongue hangs loose as I lose all control. I’m going to melt. Rip in half. I just know it.
But this time, Killian takes mercy on me. He moves the water away, allowing me to soar into the sun without the over-stimulation.
“Oh my God…” I weep.
Panting, I blink away the blur from my eyes and try to come back down to Earth. His form comes into focus. I’m aware of the floor again, the drab little chamber I’ve been taken to.
And with a desperate gasp, I look up at the warden. He’s running his tongue across his top teeth, staring down at me like I’m what’s for dinner.
And that’s when I realize…the warden is not finished.
He tosses the nozzle aside, and I gasp as he goes back down between my legs. More? He wants more?!
“My sweet honey…” he mutters before dragging his tongue up my line, wet sucking sounds coming from his lips.
I gasp. Fireworks go off in my mind. My heart nearly stops. My muscles tighten.
Sweet honey? Did he just really say that?
His tongue slaps me there again. My legs jerk. And when Killian rises up on his knees, he is a man possessed. His gaze is feral as he looks down at me, licking my gloss from his lips, eyes sparking as he tastes me.
“Why…” I manage to choke out, head spinning. “Why do you do this to me?”
Torture me. Tear me in two directions. That’s what I mean, but that’s not how it comes out.
His eyes narrow, and his face tightens. His expression shifts, chilling my body, despite the heat still sweeping through my limbs. He looks down and away, as if calculating something, then slowly shakes his head.
“You’re right…I shouldn’t have done that. I should take you straight to your cell. I’m the warden, and you’re a prisoner.”
Wait, I didn’t mean that—
But before I can blink, he has me by the wrists and is lifting me to my feet. My legs barely work, but I somehow manage to stand as he dresses me, covering me with my torn and soaked jumpsuit.
“Killian—” I stammer, but he cuts me off as he pulls me from the room. His walk is awkward, and I wonder if it’s because of the swelling between his legs. It’s impossible not to notice, but he seems to be trying to hide it.
Something in me makes me want to cry out. Beg him to turn and look kindly at me.
I slapped him! My behavior disappointed him. And that knowledge has a hole growing in my chest.
Why am I so desperate for this man’s approval? Am I more than just a bad girl to him? A prisoner? Does he actually care for me?
How could he? I’m just a bad girl, a prisoner, another inmate for him to look after. To discipline.
I’m the only female here, so of course he’ll take me as his own.
I hang my head as my legs move on their own. Killian is a walking enigma that I’m desperate to understand.
The hallway seems to grow darker and darker, narrowing to the steel door with a single barred window at the end. Two guards see us approach and stand at attention.
“Sir,” they both say.
“Solitary,” Killian says as they open the door. He pushes me roughly through, and my legs give out. I collapse onto the cot beneath me. “Until I say otherwise.”
I stare up at the cold walls, the rough cement, the single flickering bulb overhead, and start to freak out. The door begins to swing shut, the sound of rusty hinges grating in my ears, and I lose it.
“What’s the matter with you!?” I shout, tears streaming as I stare at Killian. “Why do you do this to me!?”
A better question that I can’t ask is why is he so handsome? Why, despite everything he’s done, am I still attracted to him? But in that suit, with those broad shoulders and chiseled jaw, what choice do I have?
I want more.
And judging by the way his pants are stretching, I can see he does too.
“Be a good girl,” he tells me. “And maybe things will change.”