Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Her head hurt.
But not as much as her pride.
Felicity couldn’t believe she’d fallen right in front of Justin. What a way to make an entrance. As the memory played in her mind for the umpteenth time, she rolled her eyes. What must Justin think of her?
Scratch that. She didn’t want to know what he thought of her. She could probably guess, and none of it was good.
She didn’t want to think about Justin now. It didn’t matter that he’d gotten even better looking with time. He was now someone’s husband. End of story.
Her feet were freezing by the time she reached the Evergreen Apartments. They weren’t there the last time she was home. At least she didn’t think they were. The last time she was home, it had been for her father’s funeral, and everything from that period was a blur.
The building appeared to be three-stories. The exterior was burgundy siding with forest-green trim. It definitely fit in with Kringle Falls desire to be known as a Christmas town.
She headed for the double glass doors. After determining where her mother lived, she noticed an elevator at the end of a short hallway.
As she pressed the button for the second floor, she just had to hope her mother was home.
In no time, the door opened to the second floor.
The hallway had dark green carpeting. The walls were an eggshell-white.
Each apartment had its number running vertically down the wall next to the corresponding door. Below each number was a doorbell.
When Felicity reached apartment 218, she paused. Her heart was pounding. She had no idea how this reunion was going to go. Maybe she should have let her mother know she was coming home. Maybe coming home was a big mistake.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed the doorbell.
Her palms grew damp. She rubbed them on her coat.
She couldn’t believe she was this nervous about seeing her own mother.
Guilt mounted as she realized it was her fault for being so focused on her career.
The words of her ex came rushing back to her: “You’re so selfish with your time.
” At the time, she’d had a string of excuses, but now she was wondering if Greg had been right.
But she knew it was more than just her job that had her avoiding Kringle Falls. If she were in New York, she could imagine her father was well and at home with her mother.
She rang the doorbell again. She wrung her hands together. This was a mistake. She definitely should have gone with the phone call. She turned to walk away when she heard the door open behind her. Her steps slowed, but she didn’t turn around.
“Felicity?” There was uncertainty in her mother’s voice. “Felicity, is that you?”
Her pulse raced. It had been years since she’d been this nervous to face her mother, like the time she went out with Justin, and they fell asleep in the back of the cinema. She was an hour past curfew. Her mother had waited up.
Even though she was all grown up now, she still swallowed hard. She leveled her shoulders and turned. The first thing she noticed was how much thinner her mother’s face was compared to the last time they were together.
Her mother’s hair, which she’d kept long because Felicity’s father had loved it that way, was now cut short in a bob with bangs.
Felicity had never seen her mother with short hair.
It was different, but it looked good on her.
And was she wearing contacts as well as eyeshadow and eye liner?
It was like her mother had some sort of makeover.
Her mother’s eyes widened, and then a smile came over her face. “It is you.” Her mother stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her. “I’m so glad you’re home.”
Those words had Felicity pulling back. Her gaze met her mother’s. “But I’m not home. I don’t understand.”
Sadness flickered in her mother’s eyes. It was then that Felicity noticed the dark circles under her eyes.
Her mother backed up. “Well, come in.”
Felicity rolled her suitcase behind her. She stepped into the apartment. It was small but not too small. The cream-colored walls looked freshly painted and the furniture looked to be new. None of it was from the house.
“Here.” Her mother held out her hand. “Let me take your suitcase for you.”
Felicity relinquished her suitcase. “I know I should have called first.”
“Nonsense. You never have to call when you want to come home.”
Home? Her gaze moved around the compact living room. This place didn’t feel like home. She glanced at the walls. There were no paintings or photographs on them like there had been at the house. But she didn’t say anything. She still didn’t know why her mother had made this move.
“Well, take your shoes and coat off,” her mother said. “I’ll just put your suitcase in the guest room.” Her mother rolled the suitcase down a little hallway.
As Felicity watched her mother walk away, she felt the gaping distance between them. What was she supposed to say to her? Without her father around to act as the buffer between her and her mother, Felicity wasn’t sure how to overcome the distance between them.
Her mother returned to the room. She frowned. “You didn’t take off your coat.”
“Oh. Right?” Felicity shrugged it off and placed her shoes near the door.
Her mother took her coat and hung it in a small closet next to the front door. When her mother turned back to her, Felicity realized she needed to say something. But what?
Gulp. She said the first thing that came to mind. “Nice place.”
Her mother didn’t smile back. “I knew this conversation needed to happen but…” She lifted her arm and looked at her watch. Then she met Felicity’s gaze. “Why don’t I make us some coffee?”
Without waiting for Felicity’s response, her mother headed for the kitchen. Felicity followed her. She took a seat at the small island while her mother filled the water reservoir tank for the one-cup coffeemaker.
Once her mother had a red mug in place for the coffee, she turned to Felicity.
“First, I’m sorry. I know I should have spoken to you before I did all of this.
” Her hands waved around at the apartment.
“But you were busy, and we hadn’t spoken much lately.
I convinced myself that you wouldn’t care if I sold the house.
” Unshed tears glistened in her mother’s eyes.
“I knew it wasn’t the truth. And I’m so sorry. ”
Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She wasn’t sure what to say first. She had so many questions—so many accusations that she knew wouldn’t help the situation. She silently pressed her lips together.
“There’s your old twin bed in the spare room.” She got Felicity’s coffee and added creamer and two packs of sweetener just like Felicity liked it. Her mother slid it across the counter. “I have to head to the hospital now.”
“But we need to talk,” Felicity pleaded. “I need to understand why you sold our home.”
Unshed tears rushed to her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I would call off, but we’re shorthanded with the flu going around.”
There was a tense silence as Felicity digested the news that she wasn’t going to get the answers to her questions—at least not right now. Part of her wanted to turn around and return to New York, but she’d already moved out of her apartment, so she had nowhere to return to.
Her mother opened a kitchen drawer and pulled out a key. She slid it across the countertop. “It’s a spare key so you can…well, you know, make yourself at home. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I’m afraid there’s not much, but I’ll go to the store tomorrow.”
Her mother walked around the island and stopped near Felicity. She looked as though she were unsure what to say next. Then she reached out an arm and wrapped it over Felicity’s shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here. We’ll talk. I promise.” She leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I missed you.”
Then her mother was gone. Felicity sat at the counter and stared straight ahead as she tried to make sense of everything that had happened since she’d returned to Kringle Falls.
Her mother seemed so nervous. Maybe that was her own fault for not saying much.
She was struggling to make sense of everything.
And she didn’t want to say the wrong thing.
She sat there unmoving for so long that when she took a drink of her coffee it was now lukewarm.
It was just so much to take in. It wasn’t every day that one’s childhood home was sold in secret.
She supposed the saying, you can never go home again, fit this particular situation. It left an ache in her chest.
She could never again go down to the basement where her father had his workshop.
Sometimes when she closed her eyes, she could imagine herself back there and remember the smell of the wood shavings.
And now his workshop was all gone. The grief washed over her.
It was like losing her father all over again.
Felicity made her way back down the little hallway.
There was one bathroom and two bedrooms. One was a nice size.
Her mother’s things were on the dresser.
Felicity turned to the “guest room,” which was across the hall.
It was much smaller. Not that it mattered.
It was plenty of room for as long as she would be there—because she was going to find a new job.
She noticed the white chest of drawers from her childhood bedroom. On the top of the dresser was the old lamp that used to be next to her bed. And then she spotted a framed picture. She drew closer to it.
It was from her college graduation. She was standing with her father. She picked it up to give it a closer look. Her father had been a tall handsome man. He’d been taken from them much too soon. The ache in her heart started again as she returned the picture to its spot on the chest.
She thought about unpacking. There was a closet with a sliding door where she could hang some stuff up, but she would have time for that later. She’d missed lunch. Maybe she’d have an early dinner.
She went to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and found that her mother hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d told her there wasn’t much inside. There were a few slices of bread, some margarine, a couple jars of jelly, and some juices. There wasn’t much else.
After closing the door, she headed for the closet by the front door. It was time to head to the Kringle Cup Café. She’d been missing their lattes, and they had some good salads and sandwiches.
And maybe she’d run into Justin again…
She halted the thought. What was wrong with her? It wasn’t like she was hung up on him or anything. Besides, he was probably home with his wife. The thought left a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach.