12. Jaime
TWELVE
jaime
“ Y ou… You’re kidding, right?” Cece asked.
I wrapped my arms around my chest. They were acting weird.
“Why would I be kidding?”
They’d been weird all week. It was just now that I could catch them—and get them up to speed with everything that had transpired. I thought I’d been lucky I caught them coming back from the hair salon.
The bleached shag looked good on them.
“You’ve been cagey as fuck all week,” they accused. I blinked. Cece was the one who had been cagey as fuck, and not just this week. Something really must’ve happened, but they weren’t opening up about it yet. It was starting to border on pissing me off, if I was being frank. “And it’s because you’re fucking Tony ? Abuse of power Tony?”
“No one calls him that.” I scowled. “And I thought we were in the business of giving people a chance? It happened, like, ten years ago, and he’s apologized.”
“Has he?” Cece pressed. They leaned forward from where they were perched on the ratty sofa we’d grabbed from the local landfill years ago. “Or has he told you he was sorry about it to get in your pants?”
I scoffed. “He’s not getting in my pants.”
If what he said the other day about my puppy cock held, it would be the other way around. I’d planned to tease him about it when we made it to his place that night.
However, after showering in the club, I might’ve gotten too drowsy and all but fell asleep in his car. I didn’t remember much of that night, other than I didn’t freak him out enough he left me to sleep alone.
Waking up with someone who was bigger and had more muscles than Cece had felt nicer than expected. Of course, Tony and I had classes to run off to, and I was not a morning person.
“For fuck’s sake.” Cece rolled their eyes. “You know what, fine. You do your thing. It’s what you’re good at.”
The fuck?
I leaned back as if I’d just been slapped, cold seeping into my body. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The thing about how their whole cagey attitude was bordering on pissing me off? Yeah, it wasn’t bordering anything anymore. Now it was pissing me off. Whatever had happened, I wanted to help, because Cece was so far from the person who just wanted to have fun and do their thing, I didn’t know how to even talk to them. But I shouldn’t have to be their punching bag while they figured out whatever it was they were struggling with.
It wasn’t fair.
“It means you look after yourself first and foremost, and then you build a narrative so that you don’t look like the bad guy.” Cece pinned me with a look while I tried not to recoil—or cut them off. I had no idea what they were talking about. “Case in point. Where have you been these past few months?”
“Um. What do you mean?” I scratched my eyebrow. “I’ve been right here, same as always?”
“No. No, you’ve been going to your boys’ nights, and you’ve been hanging out with Sergio and Ev every chance you got.”
I frowned. I mean, sure I had, but… “What was I supposed to do? Lurk around the apartment waiting for you to arrive from all the trips you’ve been taking?”
“ And that’s just proved my point. Thank you.”
How the fuck had I just proved their point? Whenever they were at the apartment, I latched on to them to unhealthy levels. I went to the club every time they wanted to, even when I had deadlines or wasn’t feeling it, and I didn’t move away from them. Even now, I was here, instead of stalking the public university’s website to double check that Tony didn’t have any classes and I could storm into his house again.
Catching him off guard led to the most entertaining results.
I sighed.
“What happened, Cece?”
I braced for the response. I had the reputation of a brat, but Cece was the one with the actual sharp tongue. They lashed out. It was what they did. They regretted it after it happened, and they never meant it, but it didn’t change the facts.
Surprisingly, they didn’t answer right away. Their throat bobbed. I watched as they wrapped their oversized flannel shirt tighter around their body, and tears built up in their eyes.
I gulped. Just because I knew something bad had happened didn’t mean I was happy to hear it, to have my suspicions confirmed. I waited with bated breath.
Then Cece turned their head to the side. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” I whispered. My throat felt dry. “And I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk. And while you aren’t.”
I was quick to tack on that last part. I hated when people said the first part and then ran away. I knew it wasn’t most people’s intentions, but it felt too much like meaningless platitudes, and I wasn’t into those. They gave me the shivers.
“Right.” Their voice was small.
They weren’t looking in my general direction yet, either.
I didn’t think I was any good at consoling people, but it was Cece. I squared up my shoulders and tried to give my least wobbly smile. “Wanna order takeout and watch Newsies ?”
A sniffle was all the response I needed, even if it broke my heart a little.
I pulled out my phone from the front pocket of my hoodie and opened up Tony’s text. Maybe Cece would like him more when, years down the line, I admitted he’d been the one funding their depression-induced takeout orders. Tonight was too soon for such things.
Jaime
How do you feel about financial investments?
Tony
Is this for a project?
Jaime
No. I want you to invest in getting me and Cece takeout
Tony
Why?
Jaime
Because something’s up with them and I’m a worried friend?
Tony
And I’m your Sugar Daddy?
Jaime
I mean, if you’re offering…
Tony
I’m not.
But send me your address.
Jaime
Really?????????
Before he could answer, I shared the apartment’s address and gave him a list of our favorite restaurants that served our area. Neither Cece nor I had any intolerances, so he could go to town. I was partly curious what he’d come up with on his own. Most of the places I’d given him had at least a couple of vegan options, so I knew it would be one of those, but no idea beyond that.
And would he notice my sneaky addition of the boba tea place? That was the real question. Technically, most of the drinks there weren’t vegan, but…
One could hope.
“Jai?”
I swiveled around the second Cece shortened my name. They didn’t look in great shape. “Yeah?”
“Can we snuggle?”
“Obviously.” I had stayed on the other end of the sofa—not that it added a lot of distance—simply because they didn’t look like they were going to welcome touch. I wasn’t averse to it or anything. Cece always smelled nice, too, and I liked being their big spoon. “C’mere.”
Cece and I were about the same height, and had a similar build in general, but I felt bigger when we moved so that my arm curled around their middle—and when they scooted down so that my packer was nestled between their ass cheeks.
“How does Tony feel about the two of us?” Cece mumbled, as I wondered if I should point out I didn’t know where the remote was.
Whatever. I’d have to get up later to open the door anyway.
“He knows we’re kink sibs.” I shrugged. “And he knows we fuck.”
It sounded weak. I knew it did. To be fair, it wasn’t as if we’d had any of the big conversations yet. I didn’t even know if we were going to have them or if I was just a stepping stone for Tony to be able to say he was healed from all his trauma growing up repressed. It could be. I wouldn’t be able to blame him—much.
“I know you’ve thirsted over him for years, but I don’t want to stop having you.” Cece’s voice trembled as they swallowed more unshed tears. I nuzzled their shaved undercut. Their hair was always a tangled mess, so it was easy to get there. “I can’t lose something else.”
The whispered words made me tense. Should I feel good that they were slowly opening up—that they didn’t want to lose me? Or should I pester them about what it was they lost in the first place?
I opted for the first option for now.
“You’ll always have me. You’re my beta.”
A hint of a smile reached Cece’s lips. “And you’re my Alpha?”
“That’s right.”
They were lucky I felt too lazy to go get one of my cocks and then fuck them with it. Otherwise I’d be showing them how much of an Alpha I was. That, and now they’d gotten in my head about Tony’s thoughts on it. Regardless of how serious this was with him, I really should bring it up. Outside of an I’m mostly trying to rile you up kind of conversation.
Ethics, and all that.
I moaned in protest when the intercom buzzed.
“Can you get the food?” Cece asked.
“Of course.”
I gave Cece’s shoulder a playful nibble before disentangling myself from them. It hadn’t even been a question of who was going to open the door. Cece wearing oversized clothes and wanting snuggles but not making me slide my arm under their clothes meant their dysphoria was acting up more than usual. Meeting strangers while feeling dysphoric was the absolute worst.
So, I rang up whoever was delivering the food and waited by the door. I wasn’t a huge fan of hovering by the door for however long it took the delivery person to make it up the stairs, but I hated the doorbell sound. And I didn’t want to get comfortable again just to have to get up again in two seconds. They always moved faster when I got comfortable. Murphy’s law or something.
Thankfully, it didn’t take too long this time.
Fuck .
The downside of our stupidly cheap apartment—so cheap there was no way it was all legal, but we weren’t about to say a thing about it—was that the intercom hadn’t been updated in decades. We didn’t have any of those screens that let you see who was ringing.
“Um. Hi.” Smooth, Jaime . “What are you doing here?”
Tony stared down at me while carrying a big plastic bag in one hand and the orange bag they gave at the boba tea shop in the other. He brought us boba.
I stepped aside before my brain started working again.
“Am I not welcome?”
“Um. Yeah. Yeah, I mean.” I shifted my weight between my feet. “One sec.”
Cece was going to go back to their murderous self, and they were going to kill me.
I almost whimpered when I reentered the living room.
They blinked drowsily. “Where’s the food?”
“About that.” I cleared my throat. I’d really thought I could give it a few years before confessing this. “I got Tony to fund our takeout, and he… um… is here.”
“He’s here?” Cece frowned. They’d really gotten sleepy while we were waiting for the food. Problem was, they woke up really fast. I had a theory it was because of all the time they spent in front of screens at work. The issue was their eyes glinted now when they glanced up at me. “Okay, Alpha.”
Fuck. Them.
“Alpha?”
I took it back. No fucking them for a year.
Or something.
I could feel the heat in my cheeks when I turned around to find Tony leaning against the doorframe. He didn’t fit at all in our tiny apartment, but it didn’t matter.
Of course Cece had spoken loud enough their voice would carry.
Asshole.
“So, how familiar are you with pup hierarchies? And furry culture? And the omegaverse?”
Tony smirked. I didn’t know why he was smirking, in case it needed to be said. “Marga and Jen liked to read Destiel fanfic and discuss it. At length.”
That was good enough. Better than I’d hoped.
I groaned. “Right. So. There are different types of pups. There’s Alpha pups, beta pups, omega pups. Some talk about delta pups, too. Anyway. I’m an Alpha. Cece is my beta. As in, my second-in-command? Kind of.”
Of course, my second-in-command was nowhere to be found when it came to helping me explain this.
“It’s not a romantic thing,” I went on, “but it’s our thing.”
“Can I ask about it?”
Tony wrapped his arm around my waist and rested his head against my shoulder. My eyes widened. Cece looked just as shocked. I hadn’t expected him to be open about being with me in front of others. Sure, we had started whatever it was just last week, but it had been behind one closed door or another. He had told María about us, but it turned out that I needed the visible proof of it.
“S-sure.”
Shit . I didn’t stumble. That wasn’t me.
“We’re open books.” Cece blinked innocently, but they were grinning. Of course they chose to help right this minute. “But can we have food first, Sir? I’m starving.”
“You fucker.”
“Language, pup,” Tony growled against my ear.
I gasped, forcefully ignoring how alive it made me feel. People didn’t call me out for my language. They definitely didn’t slap my ass loud enough our neighbors could’ve heard just fine.
“Don’t even,” I warned Cece.
They looked on the verge of laughing their ass off. Did I appreciate they were in a better mood? Sure. But maybe it could be not at my expense? Was that too much to ask for?
“Did he get us the good stuff?”
“He got boba.”
Cece moaned, loudly—the kind of moan that might or might not be sexual, because apparently, they were still playing, and they wanted me to combust today.
“I take back what I said about him.”
I snorted while slumping down on the couch. Cece curled up to my side. “Are you really okay with him being here?”
“You clearly are,” Cece teased.
“Be serious.”
I didn’t realize it until I said the words, but I needed them to be serious. I needed someone with a better track record at decision making than mine to tell me I wasn’t completely losing it. I didn’t think it was asking for too much. Was it?
I couldn’t say I cared if it was. Maybe Cece had had a point earlier. I didn’t think I shifted the narrative to look like the good guy, but I put myself—my wants—first.
“You realize you’ve left your Dom to fend for himself in a house he’s never been in, right?”
“He’s not—” I cut myself off. Was he? Nope. Not thinking of that now. “He’ll manage. We don’t live in a mansion.”
Kitchen was the door right next to the living room, and it wasn’t big enough that finding plates would take more than a couple attempts opening drawers.
“Uh-huh.”
I was going to tease them some, but Tony reappeared in the living room, carrying a stack of plates and two boba teas. See? He’d even found where we kept the trays.
To be fair, they were just stacked between the sink and the fridge because the drawers weren’t wide enough for them.
“What did you get?”
“Indian.”
My comfort food.
No, I was not going to get emotional over the bare minimum. I was better than this.
Cece elbowing me in the ribs helped and didn’t.
“Hey!”
They just laughed. Well, it wasn’t a full laugh—too watery—but it was something.
“Do you mind if I hang out here for a bit, Cece?” Tony asked.
“No, Sir!”
I scowled at them on principle.
Tony was busy grabbing the bag with all the containers full of yummy Indian food and spreading them across our coffee table. There was biryani, paneer, curry… It was less food than when I’d used his card to fuck with him, but it was more than the two of us would order on our own.
“Have at it, pups.”
Cece just wiggled on their ass before grabbing a plate and the entire container of spinach paneer for themselves. I should’ve warned Tony they lost their shit over it, but I didn’t want to assume he was going to get us Indian.
“So, Sir.” Apparently, paneer was not enough to keep Cece quiet. That would be my luck. “I was just asking my Alpha what the two of you meant for my dynamic with him.”
They were laying it on thick, too. Cece mostly called me Alpha when they were teasing or when they were feeling extremely horny. It wasn’t an honorific in the same way Sir or Ma’am was. We didn’t attach it at the end of every sentence.
“I don’t know enough about your dynamic to give you an answer.” Tony regarded us both before he spoke again. “When you call him Alpha, does that mean he’s your Dom?”
Cece giggled. “Alpha pups are not like that. Well, yes and no.”
Kill me now.
I stuffed my mouth with as much biryani as I could. I knew we had to talk about this, but fuck . I hadn’t expected it would be like this. It was mortifying.
“Can you explain it to me?”
“Can I?” Cece asked me. I groaned in response. I knew they’d take it as a yes, but I didn’t care enough. “Yay! So. Alpha pups are still subs, but they’re kind of Dominant with every other pup. They make sure everyone’s playing and getting attention, and they herd us together. They roughhouse more, too, and keep an eye out? Omegas do see them as their Doms. Well, some of them do. It’s not like there’s one fixed definition everyone abides by.”
To his benefit, Tony nodded along. He didn’t question it or look derisive of the idea. “But you’re a beta, right? Not an omega.”
Cece nodded. “I’m his second-in-command. So, I do as he says, but I also help him get everyone in line.”
That was a bit of a stretch, but I’d take it. Given how I now apparently stuttered in front of Tony, my explanation was not going to be much better, so… beggars couldn’t be choosers.
“So that’s why you top people together?” Tony rubbed his chin. “You’re helping him get the other subs in line?”
“Yeah.” Cece bobbed their head with way too much enthusiasm. “I can also top alone because I’m, like, higher in the hierarchy. Than an omega. Or a regular beta.”
That part was definitely specific to us and not General Pup Lore, but I was sticking to stuffing my face full of rice.
“Got it.” Tony nodded. I wondered how much he was actually getting, but I appreciated that he was not questioning Cece. I definitely didn’t feel like running to defend them. I would, obviously, but it would annoy me more than usual. “Can I ask another question?”
As if sensing the importance of it, Cece dropped their plate back on the tray and shifted around so they were facing Tony.
After a pointed glance from them, I did the same. Well, I dropped my food back on the tray, but I didn’t turn around. I was in the middle of them anyway. Had to keep an eye on the two of them, if I said so myself.
Neither of them could be trusted.
“Regardless of the physical stuff you two do together, what does your dynamic with Jaime give you?”
Oh boy.
I braced for the answer before Cece could open their mouth.
To be fair, I had no clue what would come out of their mouth, but it was better to be prepared.
“He makes me feel safe and warm. And horny, in a safe way.” They moved so they could nuzzle my neck as they spoke. I moved my arm to keep them steady around the middle. It was reflex at this point. “He anchors me, I think.”
Fuck.
I didn’t expect that last part.
The shock had to still be on my face when Tony gave a gentle tug to my hair. “What about you, pup? What does Cece give you?”
I gulped. The question wasn’t a hard one to answer. It wasn’t one I had to think hard about. I just wasn’t used to putting it into words—definitely not with an audience or when I wasn’t feeling my most confident.
Speaking of… “Cece gives me safety and warmth, too, but… they also make me feel powerful and give me a boost of self-confidence. I like the feeling of control, in a way, too. They balance me out? Like, I know I can be more aggressive and impulsive and shit. Like when I went to your place the other day. When Cece is around, they talk me out of stuff like that.”
Tony chuckled. I really wasn’t that funny, but it didn’t bother me. I supposed keeping him entertained wasn’t the worst thing in the world. No, it actually made me feel all kinds of warm in my gut.
I hated it.
“At the expense that this is speaking too much too fast, I don’t want to get between the two of you.” Tony sighed. “It’s not my first rodeo with people who already have their own dynamics going on, platonic or sexual.”
I frowned. If I thought about it, Tony had always been with more than one person. Even before Marga and Jen, he’d always been in triads, quads, or any other arrangement. I supposed it made sense then.
There wouldn’t be as much pressure on him to perform—or fully commit—if the people around him didn’t see him as a primary partner.
“I don’t want to lose Jaime.” For the first time since Tony showed up, Cece’s voice went back to that broken, small thing. I shrunk. “Not just because of the Alpha stuff. He’s my kink sib, first and foremost.”
“I understand that.” Tony ran a hand through my hair. It was subtle, but there. “I have watched the two of you together with others at the club. But do you think I could watch the two of you alone?”
I froze. “Why?”
Cece barely reacted other than tightening their hold around me. I turned so I could watch Tony’s face more properly.
“Part of it is I’m a voyeur.” He shrugged. “A bigger part is I understand the world around me by watching it. The Alpha/beta thing you’ve got going on means nothing to me until I can actually see what it looks like and what it means. Another part is, if we’re going to discuss long term already, a big thing for me is being responsible for you.”
“I’m okay with watching, Sir, but nothing else. No offense,” Cece piped in. “You’re too masc for me.”
Tony’s eyes widened for a second as he brought Cece into focus. It kind of stole my breath, that someone forgot we weren’t the only ones in a room.
“None taken.” Tony chuckled. “I’m not interested in you that way, either. It’s not about that.”
My throat felt too dry. I cleared it before I opened my mouth to speak. “What is it about, then?”
Tony made himself more comfortable on the couch, spreading his thighs just a bit more. Manspreading really shouldn’t make me hot. If I had a red flag, this had to be it.
“You know how you just mentioned feeling in control?” he asked. I nodded. The question didn’t help with my dry throat. I wondered if I could reach the boba tea from here. I could use with the distraction—and the sugar high. “That’s the feeling I’m after when I’m with someone. I want to control, to own. I want to feel responsible. That doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you what to do to Cece, but it may mean I tell you to clear a weekend to spend with them. Or I punish you when you haven’t been there for them in the way they needed you to be. But, to do that, I need to understand better what you do for them and how the two of you work.”
I swallowed.
“Oh. Can I go to you to punish him?”
Of course.
I glared Cece’s way. “Et tu, Brutus?”
They stuck their tongue out.
Tony clearing his throat saved them from my revenge. “Does he punish you? Or discipline you in any way?”
We both snorted at that. Just imagining it made me cringe.
“Hell no.” Cece recovered from the mental image faster. “I mean, he might be rougher fucking me. Or he bites me. But we don’t have a D/s thing.”
“Right.” Tony readjusted himself as he spoke. “Then the answer is no.”
Wait a second.
I turned to him. “So, if they’d said yes, you would punish me because they said so?”
That sounded like bullshit.
Tony rolled his eyes. I had more to say, but he grabbed me and lifted me onto his lap.
He bit the shell of my ear before whispering, “If you doled out a punishment I deemed wrong? You bet your ass that falls under the shit I take responsibility for.”
All air left the room. That was a thing that happened, right? Or another red flag I now had. Something was wrong if his threat got me all hot and bothered. If it made me moan wantonly, out loud, in front of Cece and the unfinished plates I really wanted to finish.
A slap on my ass had me gasping.
“Eat up, pups.”
I whimpered.
Cece pinched my side. I didn’t have my wits about me to do or say anything back. So I focused on the food, and maybe I didn’t cool my expression enough when Tony handed us our boba teas. He mentioned something about how the owner of the place knew us well enough she told him what our favorites were when he gave her our names. I had a feeling it was supposed to be a jab, but honestly? I was supporting a local business. Nothing wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with melting a bit when Tony agreed to let us use his legs as a pillow while we watched Newsies or when he kept his fingers splayed against my ass.