Chapter Nine #2
Leave it to Bristol to make him laugh at a time like this. If she could tell even a sideswiping sort of joke, then he must have said something that reached her. “Well, I usually feel like a dysfunctional head case, and I didn’t want to be alone.”
She gave him a watery if reluctant grin. “You suck.”
“Not yet, but if you lose the clothes, I’ll be happy to find some part of you I can get my mouth on.”
With a playful swat on the shoulder, she sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t owe me any sort of apology. I know exactly why you were upset. I wasn’t honest, and no one likes to be lied to. It’s actually a relief that you know the truth. And now you can stop calling me Jamie. Every time you cry out that name during sex, I want to punch my cousin.”
“Is that his name?” When he nodded, she giggled. “No wonder you grimaced a lot.”
“Next time, I want to hear my name on your lips. And don’t say there won’t be one.”
“I want there to be one, too.” She took a deep breath. “But you’ve got a lot on your plate and a career to go back to. My life is here. And really, where could we take this?”
Damn, she was fighting the relationship thing hard.
She had no idea how willing he was to fight back.
“I don’t know but I’m not giving up merely because it doesn’t look obvious or it won’t be easy.
We’re going to take it one day at a time, okay?
” At her uncertain stare, he tried to bite back his frustration.
“What’s making you hesitate most. The fame?
My crazy past? My lack of honesty? The newness of our relationship? ”
She shook her head. “All of it.”
Her hesitation was understandable. That didn’t make him less impatient to be done with it.
“First, you may not think you know me well, but I will never fuck you over like Hayden. I know now that you’re not the kind of girl to sleep with a celebrity simply because you can or want to get pregnant for a payday.
The getting-to-know-you thing will take time.
So will total trust. But I’m willing to be all in if you are. ”
“Just like that?”
“Yeah. Because I’ve tried everything else, so I know something good when I find it.
The fame is fleeting and not real. I mean, yes, I have paparazzi chasing me and a monster social media presence.
I’ve got screaming fans who don’t always observe proper boundaries.
But this also allows me to make a hell of a nice living and to do some good in the world through various charities.
I try not to take it too seriously, especially since it could all be gone tomorrow. ”
She gave him a shaky nod. “And the rest?”
“I can’t undo my past. There was a lot of booze and drugs.
I did a bunch of crazy, off-the-chain shit.
Because at seventeen, nothing sounds more awesome than living the ultimate rock star fantasy.
” He shook his head at the waste of it all.
“It took me a decade, but I finally started questioning whether I should do any of that wild crap. So I sobered up, and that part of my life is done. Sobriety gave me a clarity about life I’ve never had.
Losing Ryan made me realize that life can be even more fleeting than I imagined. ”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” she murmured, reaching for his hands and giving them a squeeze.
Jesse clutched at her. “He was a friend. When I changed my ways, it pissed him off. We used to get wasted and tag team women together. I won’t lie; we did that a lot.
Once I decided to change, he had no one to party with.
He started using more, fucking random girls more.
I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t stop him. ”
When he choked back his guilt, Bristol slid closer to him. “It’s not your fault.”
“No, he made his choices. Just like I made mine. But I’ll always wonder if I could have said or done something different to help him. If I could have saved him.”
“Don’t feel guilty for surviving. You did what you had to do for you.”
He nodded. “I knew if I didn’t, I was going to die. The morning I woke up on a hotel balcony puking next to Ryan, five naked girls passed out around us, hung over like a bitch with no idea what continent I was even on, I knew something had to change.”
Bristol withdrew her hands. “That’s a lot of women.”
“Yep. More than I even remember.” He shrugged.
“But I can honestly tell you that I’ve never stood in front of any of them and truly tried to work out our relationship.
I was engaged once to a friend years ago.
She ended up marrying another guy and they’re expecting baby number two.
That’s the most serious relationship I’ve had. Until you.”
“I’ve slept with three men in my life, including you. And obviously you’ve been with hundreds of girls.”
Probably more like thousands. “The number doesn’t matter. None of this is about genitals. It’s about feelings. I have them for you. I think you have them for me.”
For a long moment, Bristol looked afraid to be honest. Finally, she nodded. “Yeah.”
“So we’re beyond a hookup. It’s up to us to figure out where to go from here. Who’s watching the restaurant?”
“Jayla.”
“So…you don’t have to be downstairs again right away?” He sent her a smile rife with seduction.
Bristol hesitated, then pulled her phone from her pocket and dashed off a text. A ding came moments later. Then she met his stare with a challenge of her own. “Jayla says all is quiet for now, so I could probably stay another minute or two.”
He prowled closer, unbuttoning his pants and lowering his zipper. “How about an hour or two?”
She stood her ground, her gaze dipping down to where he peeled away his jeans. “I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you yet.”
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you do,” Jesse murmured across her cheek as he grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and shoved it up.
Before he’d whisked it over her head, he’d worked the clasp of her bra open, then peeled them both off at once.
The second the garments cleared her body, he covered her lips with his own and sank inside her velvety mouth, stealing inside to claim her.
They’d spoken a lot of words to one another. She’d heard him…for the most part. But now he wanted them to communicate in a way he felt certain she’d understand completely.
“Shoes off,” he insisted.
Then he set to work at the fastenings of her pants while drowning in the taste of her kiss. As he slid them down her hips, she kicked her tennis shoes aside and wriggled her hips until the denim fell to her ankles and she stood before him in nothing but a tiny pair of white lace panties.
Jesse smiled as he released the messy pile of her brown hair shimmering atop her head.
As the waves cascaded around her shoulders, heat settled in his belly.
Blood rushed to his cock. Yeah, this woman did it for him, excited him in ways he hadn’t known a woman could.
For the first time in his life, he wanted to be a better person—enough to do the hard work to improve himself, not use her for some quick fix to normalcy and improved self-esteem, the way he’d tried with Kimber years ago.
He intended to be a better man for Bristol.
He intended to keep her beside him, wake up every morning to her smile.
Heavy realizations. But Jesse couldn’t remember a time he’d felt clearer or more certain.
“Now lose the underwear,” he demanded. “Slide them down your hips slowly and let me see what I’m craving.”
She cocked her head. “What if I don’t take orders from you?”
Oh, now she was challenging him. He just smiled. “I can take what I want.”
“I dare you,” she breathed.
He understood what she was playing at. If she gave in too easily now, it would bend her pride. Instead, she challenged him to take her body and push the issue of her surrender.
Game on.
Jesse anchored his hands around the fragile undergarment at her hip and pulled. The seam unraveled for him—precisely like he intended she would under his touch.
When she stood naked before him, she shivered.
He watched the shallow rise and fall of her breasts, the movement of her hard nipples as the midday sun slanted through her window.
Her fair skin looked luminous and golden.
No spray tan for her. No chemicals that made her reek or look like an Oompa Loompa.
Bristol was classic and alabaster, appearing untouchable.
But he definitely intended to touch her—and more. She wasn’t leaving this bed until she knew she belonged with him.
Jesse bent and lifted her against his body, following her down to the mattress. He didn’t give her an opportunity to wriggle away, simply anchored his hips between her thighs and pinned her down. She felt so small beneath him, and he braced an elbow near her head to take some of his weight off her.
She met his stare. Those leafy green eyes of hers were a sight he’d never get tired of.
“Jesse,” she whispered.
The uncertainty on her face broke his heart. “Close your eyes. Yeah,” he commended as she did. “Take a deep breath. That’s it.” He bent to whisper in her ear. “Any doubts you have we’ll talk out later. Right now, I want to worship you.”
Bristol gave a low moan. Against him, she trembled. Then so slowly it made him sweat, she opened her eyes, her arms, and finally her heart to him. Given his past, he probably didn’t deserve her, but he intended to do everything possible to make her glad she’d chosen him.
She clung to his shoulders, and Jesse brushed the hair from her face and worked his lips up her neck. “Feel how good we are together.”