Chapter 18 #2
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, raising myself slightly.
He grips my buttocks, and my calves dangle, my back pressed against the wall.
His body flexes and contracts, his muscles hard under my fingers.
This is different than when I ride him. There’s more tension, and less control for me.
I hold on as he uses me. It feels good. I love how big and strong he is.
“A little slower. Please,” I whisper.
He changes his angle, grinding against my clit.
“Oh, God,” I whisper. “Just like that. Please don’t stop.”
He backs up until he bumps into the bed and sits on the edge. He jerks my dress up and over my head and unhooks my bra. I writhe from side to side, grinding and bouncing, impatient to come. One hand grips my buttocks, steadying me as I rise and fall.
I muffle my moans against his flesh. The ripples of pleasure are sharp and so delicious.
His arm wraps around my waist, and he turns and crawls onto the bed, lowering me onto my back. Then he thrusts harder and faster. I grip his arms. It’s so intense, and another orgasm builds and slams into the first. He comes inside me, groaning and straining.
After, he drops onto his back, and I curl up against him. His arm closes around me.
“I love the way it feels,” I whisper. “I didn’t expect it to feel so good every time. Zoe—” I realize I’m rambling, so I stop.
“What?” he murmurs.
I shrug. “Nothing really. Just girl talk.”
“I want to hear.”
“Awhile back, she told me it isn’t always good. She said with one guy it was even a little boring sometimes.”
He nods, resting his free forearm behind his head.
“Is it ever boring for a guy?”
“Not when he’s coming.”
I laugh softly. “I suppose not. Maybe that was the problem. Zoe didn’t always get to with certain ones.”
“Lucky for C or she might not have been free when he found her.”
I smile. “Yeah, she doesn’t seem to be having that problem anymore. I’ve never seen her so into someone.” I lick my lips, thinking that I’ve never been into anyone before Sasha, period. “I know you like to be in charge. Is it annoying when I ask you to slow down?”
“Never.”
“Aren’t you impatient?” I ask, propping myself up on my hand. “I always feel so impatient when I’m close.”
“When you’re tight and wet and you come on my cock, it feels fantastic. It makes me come harder when I do.”
I smile. “We’re good together.”
“Better than good.”
I rest my head on his chest. “Why do you pick me up to move me?”
“When I used to watch you, I’d get the urge to take you.”
“Take me? To have sex?”
“That too.”
“To take me? You mean to kidnap me?” I ask with a laugh.
“I guess. Just to pick you up and carry you off. To have you.”
“So I am like a toy doll to you,” I say, laughing and slapping his arm.
“Somewhat,” he says.
After a moment, I say, “There’s a new urban fantasy series I like. Maybe we’ll read it together?”
“Yeah.” He’s silent a moment, then he says, “What about a house? Instead of my apartment. It’s too small for us long-term, right?”
“Even if we weren’t together, it’s too small. You’re a giant. And rich. And that’s like a double-wide jail cell. Are you in training?”
He laughs. “All right.”
“All right what?”
“I’ll get you a house.” He pulls out his phone and sends a text.
“What was that?”
“There’s a nearby lot to build on. I told Trick to get it for me.”
“Trick,” I say thoughtfully. “He’s got his hand in everything.”
“Not everything,” Sasha says, pressing his hand into the small of my back.
“He needs a girl of his own.”
Sasha’s quiet.
“Don’t you think?”
He shrugs.
“Don’t you think it’s lonely for him tonight?”
“Lonely?” Sasha says, sounding bewildered.
“Yes. His two best friends ditched the end of dinner to have sex with their girlfriends. He’s the odd man out.”
“I don’t know.” After a beat, Sasha says, “What about a ring?”
“A ring?”
He takes my left hand and sucks on my ring finger. “For this one.”
“Are you asking me something?”
“Yeah.”
I rest my chin on his chest, looking at him. “Then ask.”
“I want you to marry me. Will you?”
“Yes.” I rise up and kiss him. “I love you.”
The next morning it’s warmer than usual, so Zoe and I have breakfast croissants and cinnamon-infused hot cocoa on the patio. We brainstorm ideas for a new musical, and I jot notes in a journal before playing her a bit of what I’m thinking.
“Let’s create our own production company. It can have its own Instagram,” she says. “Pictures of you and me, and behind-the-scenes things. Teasers. Of the guys too, when we go out with them. It could become huge!”
I chew on my pen’s cap and then shrug. “Can you be the one photographed most of the time?”
“Yes, please.”
I laugh, and then nod.
“Okay?”
I nod again.
“Yay!” she says, jumping up and coming around the table to hug me. “And Facebook and Twitter, of course.”
The door opens and Sasha steps out. “Let’s go for a ride,” he says to me.
“Good morning,” Zoe says, twirling flamboyantly back to her seat. “Congratulate us, ‘Vil. We’re going into business.”
“Congratulations,” he says.
I smile when he doesn’t invite her to congratulate us over getting engaged or planning to build a house.
Zoe waves her hands over her head. “I’m so excited. I thought I’d have to beg and plead for a new Instagram account so soon after your liberation from the Palermo Princess shackles. C!” she calls as he passes the door.
He leans out. “Don’t yell.”
She makes a pouty face, but can’t hold it. Instead she hops up and sashays over to him. “Guess what! I’m going into business with Rachel.”
“You are, huh?”
“Yes, want to hear all about it?”
“Of course,” he says, sliding an arm around her waist.
“Want to be our first investor? A silent one?”
“Those are the terms? I can invest, but I don’t get a say in anything?”
“Exactly.”
“Then no,” he says, mock serious.
She pouts again. “I bet Trick will invest. He’s a fan of the arts.”
“You think he’ll be a silent partner? Trick will probably want to direct. And all the chorus girls will end up topless and in thongs, like it’s Vegas.”
She clucks her tongue.
“You don’t need investors,” Sasha says. “Raven has money.”
“What money?” Zoe asks, turning to him.
“Money,” he says vaguely. To me he says, “Meet me out front. I’ve got some stuff to buy. I want your opinion.” Then he walks past them.
“Did you come into some money?” C asks, looking me over.
I shake my head. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
“If it’s not from Frank, the bastard, which it’s not of course, then Anvil must be planning to invest some money in you,” Zoe announces. “He knows how talented you are. He’s obviously going to be your patron. That’s very romantic.”
“Her patron,” C says skeptically.
“Of course,” Zoe says. “So, Connor, I love you, but I don’t need you for this.”
C’s scowl tells me this is not the way he wanted the negotiations to end. I take a last swallow of cocoa and leave them alone to talk. Outside, Sasha leans against a Range Rover. The other is gone. Apparently, Trick went out.
Sasha opens my door.
“What was that about?” I ask when he gets in.
“What?”
“Telling Zoe I have my own money? Enough to put on a Broadway show?”
“How much does it cost?”
“For a musical? A big budget one? Probably around ten million.”
He nods. “You can cover it.”
“You mean you can cover it, but that’s insane. You haven’t even heard a pitch yet. Many, many shows flop, and investors lose money.”
“People liked your last show. I think you’ll succeed.”
The lump in my throat burns. “I love that you have faith in us. Truly. But, Sasha, it’s a lot of money to commit and we’re really new at this.
We didn’t produce the last show. We don’t have experience.
Zoe thinks big, which is great, but we should probably start smaller.
Like by producing our next show here in town.
” I suck in a breath and decide to confess completely.
“You know, I’ve never had any accounts of any kind myself.
I went right from my mom’s place when I was sixteen to Frank’s.
I wasn’t allowed to have a part-time job.
I’ve only ever used credit cards that were in someone else’s name.
I know a little about paying bills because of Zoe, but that’s it.
” My heart pounds in my chest because I feel like I’m betraying the creative team that Zoe and I want to build.
But how could I expect Sasha to trust me if I didn’t warn him and then made rookie mistakes and lost such a huge amount of money?
“So you’ll learn. C will tell you how to negotiate. Trick will show you how to set up the books. And I’ll look at everything until you get the hang of things.” After a beat, he says, “You good?”
His faith is unshakable. It gives me more confidence about the business side of things. I nod, then lean in to kiss him.
After a moment, I can’t resist asking, “Why do it that way though? You want to get married and buy a house together and have kids right away. Everything you’re doing is designed to bind us together.
But you want to give me money outright? Wouldn’t it serve your purpose better to hold on to the purse strings? ”
“I want your body and your soul tied to mine. I’m not looking to buy you with cash. You’re not a working girl who rents by the hour. You’re gonna be my wife. You’ve got dreams, Raven. Go after them. No one’s clipping your wings. Especially not me.”
I turn my head sharply, so he won’t see me cry. In that moment, I understand what love is supposed to be. It’s him.
After a couple of minutes, I wipe my eyes.
He’s not what I expected, and I wonder if I’m the only woman alive who really knows him.
It makes me feel incredibly special and lucky.
We’re quiet for the rest of the ride to Boston, and even in the exclusive jewelry store that we have to be buzzed into, I feel distracted.