Chapter 6
Six
Mila
Coralie was still quiet. She didn’t speak a word during dinner that evening, and even when Jessica came to check on her, Coralie remained mute.
Desperate to help her, I snatched my keys off my dresser.
I didn’t really have the money to spare for extra gas—not when I had to head home in a couple of weeks to check in with my probation officer—but Coralie needed a change of scenery.
Normalcy clearly wasn’t helping like I’d hoped it would.
“Let’s go,” I said, snatching her shoes off the floor and walking over to her bed.
She frowned at me, her brows furrowing in confusion.
I crouched at her feet and tugged her Converse onto her narrow feet.
“We’re going on a ride, Cor. You need some time away from everything to think and process whatever you’re feeling.
Sticking to what you know isn’t working.
You’re just withdrawing more and more, and I can’t just sit by and watch it happen without trying something. ”
She swallowed thickly. “I don’t…” Her voice was raspy as she spoke. I snapped my eyes up to hers, so relieved to hear her speaking, even if it sounded like it pained her. “I don’t want to go anywhere, Mila,” she croaked.
I gripped her knees, gazing up at her through my lashes. “Cor, I’m worried sick. The last time you went mute, you lost Pumpkin.” She sighed, pain filling her eyes as she thought of her adorable cat. “Please talk to me,” I begged. “I want to fix whatever happened, but I can’t if I—”
“You can’t fix this,” she whispered, her voice cracking. Tears flooded her eyes.
“Cor—”
“This is on me,” she told me brokenly. My heart squeezed in my chest as a tear ran down her cheek.
I hurriedly reached up to wipe it away, my fingers shaking.
“I didn’t know, Mila. I didn’t know you felt that way.
Didn’t know you got arrested that night.
” Her words were rushed now, like now that she was talking, she couldn’t stop.
Like she needed to get the words out, or she wouldn’t be able to live another moment.
And fuck, my heart was breaking. What the hell had I said to her when I’d been drunk?
“I was so stupid. You would’ve never come out and said you liked someone—even to me. I should’ve seen your confession about Brittany for what it was. You two were never together, were you?”
I silently shook my head, lost for words.
What the hell was happening? Another tear ran down her cheek.
“You didn’t ignore me that weekend. You were locked up, weren’t you?
” When I nodded again, suddenly feeling hollow, her face crumpled.
“I should have been there with you,” she cried, reaching for me.
I allowed her to pull me onto her lap, and we held each other.
I sank into her embrace, clinging to her like she was my lifeline as my own tears slid down my cheeks, my heart breaking all over again.
“I shouldn’t have left you at that fucking party, Mila.
I’ll forever regret it. I’ll forever regret turning my back on you.
You had every right to be angry at me. Your entire life got flipped upside down, and I fucking abandoned you. ”
I leaned back and cupped her damp cheeks, stroking my thumbs over her soft skin. “Please stop crying,” I begged her, my own chin wobbling. “You’re breaking my heart, Coralie. What happened that night was not worth this spiral. It’s not worth the mental head dive you’ve taken.”
She shook her head and rested her forehead on mine, closing her eyes.
I sobbed, every part of me aching for her and what we used to be.
I hated it’d taken me getting drunk for her to realize what’d really happened.
How had she not known about me getting arrested?
It felt like everyone knew, but then again, Coralie had never listened to rumors.
Unless, apparently, they were about me and Brittany.
“I don’t deserve this,” she whispered. “I don’t deserve you. Not after everything I’ve done. Not after everything you’ve had to endure alone. I swore to always be by your side. To always be your best friend. Someone you can lean on. And I fucking left you, Mila.”
Her shoulders shook with her next sob. I pulled her head to the crook of my neck, squeezing her in my arms. I had no idea what this heart-to-heart meant for us. I had no idea what this breakthrough meant for our future. I wasn’t even sure if we could ever be anything close to what we used to be.
But regardless of what had happened between us in the past, I was willing to let bygones be bygones.
Coralie needed me. She was spiraling over this, and after witnessing her melt down, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she’d known what her abandonment had cost me, she wouldn’t have done it.
She’d have stuck around.
I just didn’t understand why she’d done it to begin with.