Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Olivia
I take one final deep breath before knocking on the door. I hate that I’m so nervous right now. I used to love movie nights with Mom. They became a tradition long ago when I needed a friend the most. They were something I looked forward to each week, a reward for making it through a long five days of stressful school assignments and mean kids at school. Now, I’m just hoping I can make it through the night. I do want to be here. I do want to bond with my mom, but it’s been so long that I’m terrified things won’t be the same anymore.
The door swings open, and I’m immediately dragged into Mom’s arms for a tight hug, her lips curved into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her. “I’m so excited for our movie night. I pulled out a few of the classics for you, and I stocked up on some Blue Bell ice cream. I know we used to get Ben & Jerry’s, but I thought you might like to try a Texas brand.”
She swiftly moves toward the freezer and pulls the drawer open to reveal three pints of ice cream. “I wasn’t sure what you would want, so I got a classic Dutch Chocolate, some Cookie Two Step, and Cookies ‘N Cream Cone because it sounded fun.”
I try to tamp down the anxiety rising inside of me and ignore the urge to immediately put my guard up. I remember what Rhett and I talked about, how lucky I am to have someone who cares so deeply for me, even if it is a little overwhelming. I wonder how my counselor would guide me through a situation like this. I’m oddly excited to go back and dig into how to manage all of the raging emotions that are constantly swirling in my mind. She hasn’t tried to put me into a box or made me feel like something is wrong with me. She’s instead taken an approach that we are a team working toward a common goal of helping me learn how to manage my anxiety effectively.
“Thanks, Mom. You didn’t need to get me ice cream. I just want to spend time with you.” I inspect the pints. “They all sound delicious.”
I must’ve done something right because I watch her inflate with pride. “I’m just so happy you’re here for movie night again! I can’t believe it.”
Dad walks into the room, wearing a Ranger’s jersey. “Can’t believe what?”
“That she’s here.”
“Me either.” He turns to me. “I heard your coach said you can still make senior this fall, even after your time off. That’s great!”
“Yeah.” I fake a smile, trying not to let anxiety rise inside of me at the mention of work.
“I’m just so proud of you for sticking with this job, even when all these challenges have been thrown in your path. You will not regret staying this long. The things this will do to launch your career?—”
Mom interrupts, looking irritated. “Don’t you have to go? I thought the game started in ten minutes. You’re barely going to make it to the Long Neck in time for the first pitch.”
I breathe a sigh of relief as Mom starts pushing him toward the door.
“Oh, is it 6:45 already? I guess I better get going. You two have fun tonight.” He presses a kiss to my cheek and rushes out the door.
Mom turns her attention back to me. “Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat besides ice cream?”
“No, I’m okay. Rhett smoked brisket a couple days ago, and we’ve been living off the leftovers.” I can’t help it as a smile spreads across my face at the thought of Rhett. I’m disappointed he didn’t open up to me about the meaning of the song he played last night, but the thought of him playing the guitar for me still makes me giddy whenever I think about it.
“You two seem to be getting along well now. Do you want to tell me what’s actually going on between you two? I don’t buy that a smile like that would be on your face over someone who’s just a friend.”
“It’s nothing, Mom. He’s just polite to me because he cares for you and Dad. Plus, we share a pretty needy dog, so we have to be friendly with one another.”
“If you say so. He’s just so handsome and so kind. He’s the kind of man I always pictured you with.”
“Mom! I am not talking about this with you.”
“We used to talk about boys all the time on movie nights. Remember when you had that massive crush on that Nathan boy? You used to tell me about all the little details, even if it was just that he asked you for a piece of gum in the hallway.”
The memory causes the smallest flutter of warmth in my chest. “Yeah, I did. I don’t know, though. Rhett is nothing more than a friend.”
As much as I want to repair my relationship with my mom, it still feels difficult to share details of my life with her. What if I share something with her and it has repercussions? Maybe she’d think a crush on a boy would be enough to keep me here in Roots. I don’t want her to be disappointed when I leave.
Her face grows serious, and she reaches out for my hand. “Whether I was in California or Texas, I was always there for you. I don’t know your reasoning for keeping me at a distance over the last couple years, but I never stopped being your mom, and I was always willing to move mountains to be there for you and give you whatever you wanted or needed. I still am. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom. I’m sorry. I hate what’s happened to our relationship over the last couple years. It’s just complicated.”
She nods. “I’ll take what I can get. I’m happy you’re here now.”
I open my mouth but quickly clamp it shut as my mind starts swirling. I know in my heart I should try to let her in, but there’s still that part of me that has blocked out everyone for so long. That’s not going to go away overnight.
So instead of telling her about that tiny, okay fine, all-consuming, spark I feel with Rhett, I say, “Let’s see what movies you have.”
* * *
Two hours later, the credits of the movie roll while we each dish up a second bowl of ice cream. “Which flavor was your favorite?”
“Oh, I think the Cookies N’ Cream Cone may have won me over,” I say as I pull the top off the carton. “Which one was yours? Have you already tried these flavors before?”
“Actually, I’ve only tried a couple here and there. I think I was partial to the Cookie Two Step myself.”
“I knew it! You’re such a sucker for cookie dough.”
“Can you blame me?”
“No. What’d you think of that ending?”
“It was cute, but I think he should’ve ended up with the other girl.”
“Right? I get that Shawna was pretty, and she helped him through the death of his brother, but Ashley has been there for him since they were little. The movie could’ve been ten times better if they had gone with the friends-to-lovers trope.”
“I agree. We should make our own movie. We could do better than Hollywood.”
“Totally!” I burst into laughter, becoming aware of the fact that I’m actually having a good time. It’s already 9:30, and I know I should head home, but I don’t want to. It feels so nice to have a sense of normalcy with my mom again.
“I’ve missed this,” Mom says casually as she scoops her bowl of ice cream.
It hits me then how much it must’ve hurt my mom to keep her at a distance. All this time, I thought I was helping her, but maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe I don’t know what’s best for her, or even what’s best for me. Obviously, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, or I wouldn’t have ended up in Roots with my life in shambles. At least I still have the chance to make things better. Like Rhett said, I have people who love me no matter what. It’s clear to me that my mom has always been, and always will be, there for me. I owe it to her to try to be better.
“Mom, you were right—about Rhett earlier. I can’t help but feel like maybe there is a little bit of a mutual attraction.”
“I knew it!” She does a little dance before grabbing me by the hand and dragging me back to the couch. “Your dad should be out for another hour at the Long Neck with his buddies. Tell me everything.”
“I didn’t like him at first if I’m being honest. It bothered me how close he is with you, and it still bothers me how he won’t open up much about his life before he came to Roots. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Everyone is hiding something.”
“You’re serious?”
“Of course! You’ve kept your father and I at a distance for several years, but you’ve never said why. You’re hiding something. I never told my mother-in-law that it was me who broke her favorite vase at her sixty-fifth birthday party. I will take that secret to my grave. Now you will too!” She gives me a pointed look.
“That was you? Grandma was pissed about that.”
“To your grave, you hear me?”
I draw an x over my chest, my lips quirking. “Cross my heart.”
“My point is that everyone has something they’re not proud of. Rhett seems like a genuinely good guy, and if there is something he’s hiding, maybe it’s just because he isn’t proud of that version of himself. I suspect he came to Roots for a fresh start, and he’s done an excellent job at that. Don’t hold his potential secrets against him. You should go for it.”
“Are you just saying that because you think it will get me to stay in Roots?”
“Of course not. I just want to see you happy, and I adore Rhett. I’d like to see him happy too. Plus, he’d be a great son-in-law.”
“Okay, you’re moving a little too quickly there. All I said was I think he’s attractive.”
“Tell me about your interactions with him. Has he given you any signs he might be interested?”
“I don’t know. He started watching Dexter with me in the evenings even though he called the show depraved when we first met. He sends me songs he thinks I’d like and sends me pictures of Maverick because he knows it makes me happy.” I shrug as I add, “I just don’t know what to make of him because every time I think I’m making progress with him, he closes down.”
“How about I tell you this, and that will be the last I say on the matter.”
“I doubt it.”
“Okay, maybe not the last thing ever, but the last thing for tonight. I have never seen Rhett enjoy the company of a woman like this. He’s always very polite to everyone in town and more than willing to help them out, just like a Roots native, but I’ve never seen him care for someone the way he seems to care for you. If he’s watching a show he wasn’t interested in and taking the time to send you things that he knows will make you happy, then I can’t help but think that makes you a very special person in his eyes. You just need to be patient, and I guarantee you things will happen between you two.”
“We already knew I was special,” I tease, trying to mask my embarrassment.
“You are. I know that. Your father knows that. It seems like Rhett knows that too.”
“We’ll see. It’s not worth digging into. I’m not here to fall in love. I’m here to spend some time with you guys so you know I’m okay, and then I’m headed back to California.”
Remorse washes over me as my mom’s soft smile fades. I want to take back what I said, but I can’t. It’s the truth. I’m not here to stay. That was never the plan. Just because I’m starting to build a good relationship with my mom again doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly stay. And no hot, broody cowboy is going to change that either, even if he’s slowly creeping into my heart.