Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Rhett
I haven’t been able to take my eyes off Olivia since I walked into this bar. As she makes her way toward me, I can’t remember why I’m here or why I’m supposed to keep her at a distance. Those amber eyes have a beautiful light in them that makes me want to give her my whole heart, and something about her makes me believe that if I did, my past would be erased.
When she gets closer, I can see the shiny look in her eyes that indicates she is clearly feeling the booze.
“Hey, hotshot! What are you doing hiding out in the corner?”
“Hotshot?” I arch a brow.
“I don’t know. You looked a little too-cool-for-school standing here by yourself while everyone was out there dancing.”
“I told you. I don’t do bars, and I definitely don’t dance.” At least not with her. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. “I just came to make sure you two had a ride home. Maverick was asleep already anyway.”
“Too much cattle chasing and peeing in the yard?”
“Yup.” I chuckle.
“Please dance with me, Rhett.”
“Not happening.”
“Why don’t you dance? Are you afraid of being bad? You can’t tell me you didn’t see me out there making a fool of myself. I still did it anyway.”
“I can dance, but I don’t dance.”
“That’s even worse. Come dance with me, please.” She draws out the e. “Show me how it’s done.” She grabs one of my hands and begins dragging me toward the dance floor.
All of my instincts are screaming no . I already let things go too far the other night. I opened up more than I ever intended to, and I know better than to do it again, but her soft touch plays tricks on my heart, and now my feet are shuffling after her. When we make it to the edge of the dance floor, she begins to smile, and I swear that smile could light up the entire bar. God knows it’s lighting up every dark corner inside of me.
I eye her carefully. “What’re you smiling about?”
“I just really wanted to dance with you. Callie told me you wouldn’t say no if I asked, and I guess she was right.”
Damn it, Callie. We are going to have a talk about her interfering in my love life after this. Not that this is my love life. I don’t love Olivia, and I never will. I’ll just keep saying that until I know it’s true.
Callie catches sight of me and waves joyfully from her spot on the edge of one of the picnic tables to the side of the dance floor. I give her my best scowl, but the second Olivia looks up at me like I put the stars in the sky, that frown is erased, leaving no trace of it behind.
“Rhett, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“I’m just trying to understand why you’ve never come to the bar before, but you’re here now.”
“That’s not a question.”
“But it’s not entirely a statement either.”
I grimace. I don’t want to talk about this. When she peers back up at me with those softly shining amber eyes, some of the walls inside of me start to crumble. Maybe she won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow. Wishful thinking, I realize considering she doesn’t seem much more than buzzed.
I inhale sharply, and then the words tumble out. “There was a time when I did drink and go to bars, back in college. My senior year, I made a big mistake that I can never take back, so I decided from that point forward to stay away from parties and alcohol. Nothing good comes from it.”
Pity creeps into her face, but she promptly pushes it away, and I’m grateful. “I understand. It doesn’t bother me if you choose not to drink or go to bars.” She pauses, clearly still thinking. Then she adds, “I just can’t figure out how to put together all the puzzle pieces I have of you. I’m still missing something.”
“I told you not to try. I probably shouldn’t even be here. I just wanted you two to be safe. A responsible person makes sure the people he cares about make it home safely.”
Something flickers in her eyes but silence washes over us for a while as we just sway to the music. I’m certain she’s just willing this dance to be over with. I’ve said too much. I’ve probably scared her away now that she’s caught a glimpse of the darkness inside of me. I guess that’s a good thing. That’s what I need if I’m going to keep us apart.
But as the song winds down, she doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she moves in a little closer and leans her cheek into my chest. I feel my hard exterior melt a little, and it’s terrifying. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“For what?”
“For sharing with me, even if it was a little tiny sliver of the whole complex puzzle that makes you up. I’m starting to realize you aren’t too keen on sharing much about your life with people, so I’ll take whatever I can get.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“I’m going to crack you all the way open someday. Just you wait and see.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to do that.”
“You told me I’m lucky to have people who accept me and love me with all my flaws. You said you’d give anything to have that, but you won’t let anyone in and give them the chance to love and accept you. I hope to get that chance someday.”
My stomach does a somersault or two, and I’m rendered speechless. I stand there staring blankly at her, and I can feel the tension building between us as the song ends. Did I upset her?
When she draws away from me, she grimaces and says, “I’m sorry, but I really have to pee!” Spinning on her heel, she dashes off to the bathroom before I can even process what she said.
Only a minute after Olivia has pulled from my grip, Callie rushes up to me. “What’re you doing here? I saw you two dancing. Did it go well?”
I roll my eyes. “We just danced. It’s no big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Rhett. I saw the way you were looking at her.”
“It doesn’t mean anything.” It can’t.
“What’s your problem? Why can’t you open yourself up to anyone?”
“I want to. I just can’t.”
“Why not?”
I want to tell her everything that’s been plaguing me since the moment Olivia walked into my life, the burning desire not only for love, but love with this wonderful woman I’ve grown to enjoy spending time with, the fear that I’ll never be worthy of love, the fear of losing yet another person I hold close to me, but in true Rhett-fashion, I quickly dodge her question.
“Shouldn’t Olivia be back by now?”
“I’m sure she’s fine.”
“No, it shouldn’t take her this long to go to the bathroom.”
“There was probably a line. You wouldn’t understand this, but as women, we like to go to the bathroom in packs, so we usually have to wait in line to pee.”
“Why didn’t you go with her?”
“I didn’t know she was going. She didn’t ask me to come with her.”
“She could be getting into any kind of trouble alone right now. She was clearly not sober.”
Callie reaches out to me, grabbing onto both of my arms. “Olivia only had a little buzz. She can still take care of herself.”
I’m no longer listening as I tear away from her grip and surge toward the bathroom. I’m about to walk in when Callie catches up to me again. “I’ll go check to see if she’s in there. Chill.”
When she comes back out and shrugs, I begin to panic. This is why I had to come here tonight, to make sure they were being safe. Oh god, could she have left the bar on her own? She wouldn’t do that, would she? Was she upset with me for not being more open with her?
Again, Callie grabs onto me. “I see what you’re doing. Slow down that brain of yours. I’m sure Olivia is still here and perfectly safe. Something bad doesn't happen every time someone drinks. I promise.” She draws back. “I’ll go check the dance floor and the patio in case she just needed some air. How about you check the bar?”
I nod, taking a calming breath. This isn’t like me to feel anxious, but all of this seems just a little too familiar.
I reach the bar, scanning the barstools for her beautiful brown hair or bright red top reflecting in the neon lights. I don’t see her. Deep breath. I’m sure she’s fine. It’s a lot easier to say it in my mind than to actually believe it. Why would she just disappear like that?
“She’s definitely not outside or on the dance floor, but I’m certain she wouldn’t just leave.” Callie stops, her eyes trained on something behind me. A lopsided grin slowly grows on her face, and she points to what she’s looking at. “Found her.”