Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rhett
I’d like to say it’s a happy accident that Olivia is still in the café when I get there for my check-in with Callie, but I was definitely very intentional when I scheduled our meeting for right when Olivia’s shift is over, and even more intentional when I decided I might as well pop in twenty minutes early to see how things are going.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the panic in my chest when we couldn’t find her in the bar last week. It’s had me making her breakfast on my day off and making sure she always has a fresh vase of wildflowers for her room. No matter how hard I fight my feelings, I always fail. It doesn’t help that I can’t get the image of her with Jax out of my head, and I’m starting to feel a little possessive. It’s unfair of me to want her away from him if I can’t commit to her, but I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can’t take the thought of losing her, and yet I know that’s what will happen if I open my heart up to her. That’s how it’s always gone in my life, and I’d be insane to give love one more try with someone who is leaving in a couple of months.
The bell on the door overhead rings cheerily, and before I can even step both feet through the door I’m immediately greeted with a simple, “Hi, Rhett!” Her voice is soothing and warm, and her dazzling smile melts me like butter. She crouches down to the ground, cooing at Maverick as he pulls on his leash until I finally release it in time for him to bound across the café into her arms, licking her face frantically as if he hadn’t seen her in much longer than the six hours it’s actually been.
“Hey! How’s your day going? Is your shift almost over?” I play innocent as I place my elbows on the counter and lean into her because that’s the only way I can respond to her magnetism. I catch the faintest whiff of her lavender scent and want to wrap myself up in it.
Callie barges in, already interrupting us as she exits the kitchen, brushing her hands together. “You’re early. I told you when her shift ended. That’s why we planned on meeting at two.”
“I’ve got a lot going on. I can’t keep track of everyone’s schedules and remember every little detail,” I growl. Turning back to Olivia, I ask, “What’re your plans for the rest of the day?”
“My Mom and I are going out to some fancy restaurant in Fort Worth.”
“How have things been going between you two? Have you talked with her about the—” I glimpse at Callie standing three feet away, “—the incident?”
“I know I should, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I’ve been trying for over a week to recite the conversation we would have in my head, and every time I chicken out. If I can’t even do it in my head, how am I supposed to do it in real life?”
“You can totally do this! I believe in you. You know you’ll feel better once you do.” I lean onto the counter. “Focus on what it will feel like to have that weight lifted. Because it will lift. I know your mom. If you talk with her about things, you’re going to feel better, and you’re going to come away with a stronger relationship with her. I think it’d be good for you.”
She nods in acceptance. “You’re right. I hate that you’re right.” She scrunches up her nose in fake annoyance at me, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I don’t know why you’re acting surprised. I’m always right.”
“Don’t go getting a full head there.”
“Too late. Hmmm… should I use this superpower for good or for evil?”
“Stop it! You’re being so ridiculous.” She giggles and shoves my shoulder. Her laughter makes me wish I was cleverer and funnier because I want to keep making her laugh forever, but I’m out of things to say now.
I look up to find Callie still standing there quietly, her arms crossed and the most ridiculous smirk on her face. “Are you two done flirting yet? I need Olivia for one more thing before her shift is over.”
Olivia’s eyes go wide and her face flushes, turning the same color as the vibrant curtains Callie insisted on putting on the windows when we first bought the café. She recovers quickly though, making my stomach sink as she says, “Don’t be ridiculous! I would never flirt with him. He’s completely intolerable what with his big head and all.” She turns to me and gives me a quick wink, making my stomach somersault. I’m so confused. Am I upset? Am I happy? Is she flirting? Is she not? I can’t figure it out.
“What do you need help with? I need to leave right at two if my mom and I are going to make it into Fort Worth and back today.”
Callie grabs her by the arm and drags her off into the kitchen, leaving me in the dining area with Maverick. I pick up his leash, settle into a chair at one of the tables, and open up the notebook I brought with me that holds everything I need for business with the café. Maverick sits staring at where Olivia and Callie just left, whimpering.
“I get it, buddy. She’ll be back.”
I stare intently at the numbers from last month, trying to rid my mind of Olivia with her earth-shattering smile and the contagious joy that has seemed to overcome her in the last couple of weeks as she’s settled into Roots. I’ve been so impressed with her ability to turn things around from how she started here. She was angry at the world and afraid of letting anyone in. She was anxious and stubborn. She’s still a little anxious sometimes and still definitely stubborn most times, but I love dealing with her stubbornness now, and I definitely didn’t when she first got here. Maybe I’m the one who’s changed.
Okay, I’m horrible at keeping her off my mind.
She steps back out from the kitchen, and I can feel her presence before I even see her. That’s what she does to me. It’s all-consuming, and it’s terrifying.
“Okay, I have to run. Ladies’ Night this weekend, right, Callie?”
“Of course.”
“I’m so excited! They better play ‘Any Man of Mine.’ I’ve been practicing my dancing.”
“You remembered the name. I’m so proud! I can personally guarantee you they’ll play that song. If they don’t, I’ll take it up with Jax myself. Now get out of here! You said you had to leave right at two, and it’s 2:02 now.”
“Shoot! You’re right.” She calls goodbye to all of us, pressing a kiss between Maverick’s eyes.
I hardly have time to get out the first syllable of my goodbye before she’s rushing out the door, taking with her that warm and fuzzy feeling that was once filling the room.
At the slam of the door, Callie focuses on me, her hands on her hips. “So, care to tell me what’s going on?”
I sigh in exasperation. “We talked about this on the phone last night. I want to run through the numbers for the month, and I figure we might as well touch base on the fundraiser. I’m sure Olivia got you all up to speed on things today, but?—”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about you and Olivia.”
I blink at her dumbly. “There’s nothing to discuss. She’s staying in my guest bedroom, and she’s Jack and Mandi’s daughter, so of course I’m friendly with her. We spend a lot of time together, but it’s mostly because of Maverick.”
“Yeah, the dog. Mmhmm.” She backhands my shoulder.
“Ow!” I instinctively start rubbing the spot she smacked. “What was that for?”
“I was hoping it’d help you be less of an idiot. Even some random person off the street would be able to see the sparks flying between you two. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time.” She pauses briefly as the weight of that statement settles over us, leaving me feeling nothing but guilt, but she catches me off guard with her next sentence. “It’s nice, really nice actually. It’s like watching my brother fall in love.”
I frown. She shouldn’t be happy for me. She has every right to be upset with me for feeling something for anyone besides her sister. “I don’t like Olivia in that way.” The words are not even remotely convincing.
“I know it might feel weird to talk with me about this, but I think I’m one of the people you need to hear it from the most. Isabel is gone. She’s been gone for four years. I know she was your fiancée, but I also know you’re not still in love with her, so why won’t you let yourself move on? What’s holding you back?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it, Rhett. You don’t owe Isabel anything but to allow yourself to move on and be happy. If Olivia is the one who is going to make you happy, then please, for the love of God, go after her.”
“You don’t understand. This isn’t just about Isabel. I mean it sort of is. It’s just that, I didn’t believe in love before your sister. She changed all of that, but now she’s gone, and I screwed things up before she died. Maybe love does exist for other people, but her death was proof that I will never be worthy of love.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t believe in love when I met Isabel. My parents didn’t give me a good example of it. They treated each other with such hatred both before and after they were divorced, so love always seemed like more of a fleeting feeling than anything to me, something shiny and exciting for the beginning of a relationship that turns dark after a while. I wanted nothing to do with it. Isabel came along and refused to let me believe that. She broke through my hard exterior, and I fell in love with her. Things were good for a while, but then we had the biggest fight of our relationship, and she died the same night.
“That’s when it started to click that maybe love just doesn’t work when I’m involved. My parents’ marriage fell apart after they had me. They disowned me and stopped loving me after I got engaged to Isabel. Then I argue with my fiancé, and she dies. There’s one common denominator in all those things I just told you. Me. I’m just not meant to have love in my life. I’ve accepted it.”
Callie furrows her brow, reaching out to me. “You know that you’re not out of chances when it comes to love, right? Just because your family fell apart and you lost your fiancé... okay, that does sound bad, but it’s not the end for you. You have to get back up and keep trying. If you let every bad thing in your life knock you down?—”
“Callie, please don’t.”
“No, you need to hear this.”
“Even if everything you’re saying is true, I don’t trust myself anymore. I just seem to hurt the people I love.”
I push out from the table, grabbing Maverick’s leash and giving it a gentle tug so he’ll follow me out.
As I storm toward the door, I can hear Callie still talking to me. It isn’t until she grabs my arm that I finally stop and register what she’s saying. “Olivia lights you up in a way I’ve never seen, not even with my sister. You’re an amazing guy, Rhett. You’re worthy of love. You made my sister so happy, and one poorly timed fight doesn’t change the three years of happiness you gave her.”
I slip my arm from hers gently and to even my surprise, I pull her in for a hug. “Thank you. I know you’re just looking out for me, and I appreciate it. I just can’t let love in that easily. Something didn’t just break inside me that day I lost Isabel, something shattered. It’ll never be fixed. It’s not just that I don’t believe in love anymore. I don’t trust myself to keep it if it ever comes my way again. Isabel was my one shot at starting over and giving love another chance, but I ruined things with her beyond repair. I’m terrified of what I might do to anyone else.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Her words are barely above a whisper, but they hit me hard. “You treated her like a queen. If she can’t have that love anymore, then someone else should. Call me crazy, but I think that someone could be Olivia. I’ve heard the way she talks about you, and I hear all about the incredibly sweet things you do for her. You are constantly proving that you are still more than capable of loving deeply and treating someone right. Trust me, I know a thing or two about people that make you feel unloved or unworthy, and you are not one of them. Don’t let that self-doubt creep in.”
“I should go.” I finally say. I am barely holding myself together right now, and I don’t want Callie to see the spiraling that’s about to commence as I question my whole world for the past four years.
“Rhett, wait!” I stop and glance over my shoulder at her. “Please just promise me you’ll think about what I said. You deserve to be happy. That’s all I want for you. It’s what Isabel would’ve wanted too.”
“I’ll think about it. Now leave me alone. You’re driving me crazy.”
She smirks. “But nothing compared to the way Olivia drives you wild, right?”
“Shut up,” I growl as I storm out the door, trying to keep the corners of my mouth from turning up.