Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Rhett
Olivia pulls up to Copper Hill in her Volkswagen, looking completely out of place on this ranch. She steps out of her car, dressed in jeans, cowgirl boots, and a plain white scoop-neck tank top. She looks incredible, and seeing her here makes my nerves tangle in my stomach.
My reaction to her presence is terrifying, but I need today. It’s become obvious over the last couple of weeks that Olivia is torn between being the overachieving, always-on-the-right-path person that she is and following her heart. I can tell she doesn’t want to go back to her life in San Francisco. I just need to figure out how to convince her to stay. I want to give love one more chance, but if Olivia won’t allow herself to be happy and stay here then there’s no point in opening up to her.
“Where’d you get your outfit from? I know this hasn’t been sitting in the back of your closet in San Francisco,” I tease.
“I came straight from Callie’s. She was helping me with some fundraiser details this morning, and she insisted she help me dress properly for the occasion.”
“I like it.”
She gives me a little nod. “I like the cowboy hat and boots look on you too. Not too shabby.” She gives me a sly smile as her cheeks rouge.
“So, what’re we going to do today? Am I just going to be your shadow?”
She’s looking up at me as if I make the sun shine, a genuine eagerness filling her eyes. We might as well just go all in now. I want her, and for some reason, I fully believe we could make this work, but I refrain from sweeping her off her feet and kissing her, instead opting for a simple, “I already helped Austin with a few projects early this morning. I’m not going to make you do any physical labor in the sun with this insane heat wave we’re having, so I thought maybe you could help me clean out the horse stalls today.”
She rolls her eyes. “I am fully capable of doing physical labor, even if it is hotter than Hell out here.”
“So you don’t want to hang out with Maggie today?”
Crossing her arms and pressing her lips into a line, she mumbles, “I didn’t say that.”
I lead her toward the barn while she follows closely behind. After I drag the giant barn door open and turn back to her, she’s just standing there, her head slightly cocked and a small smile on her face.
“You have a little drool there.” I point to the corner of my mouth.
Her jaw drops open, but her lips quickly quirk into a smile. “I was just admiring the barn. Look at all the accents and details in here, like this.” She drags her hands against the wrought iron stall doors.
“Uh-huh.”
“I do love this barn. I’ve always liked the rustic look in a home, kind of like in your house.”
“There’s a lot of rustic buildings in Roots. You could have a place of your own with this exact aesthetic if you stayed past your three months.” I shrug, trying to act nonchalant, but I am definitely failing.
“I’ve thought about it.”
“Where have those thoughts led you?”
“Nowhere really. Like I said last night, I don’t see a practical way to stay here. As much as I’ve loved my time in this little bubble of perfection the last couple months, I recognize this isn’t real life. I don’t have the stress of regular bills to pay here, and I don’t have a full-time job. I’ll be twenty-five in the fall. I don’t want to just rely on my parents’ connections to get me sweet deals on housing, and I certainly can’t keep working part-time like I am now. There just aren’t many job opportunities in this tiny town.”
“Is that all you think I am? Your parents’ connection?” I try to hide the hurt in my voice. I know Olivia is just trying to convince herself this isn’t the right option for her because she’s scared, but it still stings.
“Of course not. You’ve become—more.” Her brows knit together as she busies herself with picking at her nails. “I can’t keep getting handouts. If I moved here, I’d need to find my own place and pay for it like a real adult.”
“Paying rent doesn’t make you an adult.”
I unlatch the first stall, slipping into it and hooking a lead to Maggie’s bridle.
“I don’t know, Rhett. It’s just so complicated to stay here. It wouldn’t make any sense.”
“You’re just scared of what your life could be like if you stayed here. You may not like your life in San Francisco, but at least it’s familiar. Here, there’s a whole new realm of possibilities for you, and I think that scares you.”
“No! It’s not just that. You’re not the first one to ask me why I don’t stay here. Callie has said things about me staying too, but I talked with my dad yesterday, and it just reaffirmed that no matter what I want, I can’t give up everything in San Francisco to stay here.”
I tie the mare up to the rail outside of the stall. “Do you want to stay out here and pet Maggie or do you want to clean her stall?”
She looks back and forth between me, a pitchfork in hand, and Maggie, who is calmly watching the two of us banter.
“Both? I can get dirty too.”
I chuckle. “Here, you can watch my technique while you pet Maggie for a bit, and I’ll let you finish the stall.”
She nods eagerly.
“So, what happened during your talk with your dad?”
“He reaffirmed the fact that I have to make it to senior. He’d be so disappointed in me if I left now, just like he had to do.”
“Did he say that?”
“No, but it was heavily implied.”
“You can’t honestly tell me you want to go back to that job after all the hell it’s put you through.” The sharpness in my voice causes both Olivia and Maggie to stir uncomfortably.
“I don’t know. I’m just so scared. My relationship with my parents has been great. I’ve made friends here. The work I’m doing at the rescue makes me excited, but I’m not so na?ve to think that staying in Roots would make all of this permanent. Leaving my job before becoming senior could ruin my relationship with my dad. Being around my parents so much could ruin my relationship with them too. Maybe I’d realize helping out at the shelter feels like too much pressure and causes me just as much anxiety as my job does now. Maybe this is just how I’m meant to be, and there’s nothing better for me out there.” She takes in a sharp breath. “Oh my god! I’m sorry. My counselor would tell me I’m spiraling and need to recenter. I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you like that.”
“Don’t apologize.” I set the pitchfork down and march toward her, pulling her into my chest tightly. “I’m not sure what led you to believe everyone else’s expectations of you are more important than your happiness, but it’s just not true. You are amazing, Olivia. You deserve to be happy.
“You are brave and intelligent. You have this wonderful light inside of you that I’ve had the privilege of seeing shine since you came to Roots. When you first rolled into town, there was no sign of that light, but then you came in and made friends. You started helping out at the shelter and taking matters into your own hands to do something that you care about, and you became the brightest ray of light I’ve ever seen.”
Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop. “I’m telling you right now, the job you are in is not meant for you. I think you’ve always known you wanted to do something bigger with your life, but you settled for something safe that would please everyone else around you. That’s probably why you’ve been having so many panic attacks in San Francisco and why they’ve dwindled since you’ve been here. Your body was telling you that something was off. It’s begging you to let yourself be happy and do the things that you know in your heart you are meant to do.”
A muffled sniffle escapes from against my chest. “Damn it. Did I make you cry?”
“Kind of.” She pulls away from me, swiping at a tear. “It’s okay. It’s not a bad thing. You’re just being so nice to me, and you’re making a lot of sense and I—I can’t just leave my old life behind, Rhett.”
Seeing her doubt herself fuels me with anger, sadness, and love all at once.
“I get that you’re afraid, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to find a way to be happy again.” That’s the place I’m desperately trying to get to, letting myself be happy again, even if I’m afraid.
Crap. Am I going to let myself try to love again? I can’t. Can I?
She nods, clinging to my every word. Then she buries herself back into my chest so that her thank you is barely audible. Having her wrapped up in my arms feels so right. I want to hold her here forever. There’s no way I could possibly ignore the feeling I have when I’m with her.
Olivia steps back from me, swiping a final tear, her face filled with determination. “My turn to clean the stalls.”
I stand back and let her, processing everything that just happened. It’s amazing how she can go from crying moments ago to cleaning out a horse stall as if nothing happened. I recognize mucking a stall doesn’t require a superb amount of brain power, but still, she’s amazing.
She finishes up, setting the fork aside and dusting her hands off with a look of satisfaction. “On to the next one?”
“Actually, how do you feel about ditching this place?”
“I just got here. It hasn’t even been an hour. You need to put me to work! Plus, if you want me to stay here, I might need a job, and mucking horse stalls could be the only work available. I need to learn.”
“You’ll find something better than mucking horse stalls. I know it was my idea to bring you here, but now I have a better idea.”
“What do you have in mind?”
I grab her by the hand, filled with renewed energy. “Come with me.”