17. Chapter 16
Ivy
“He’ll be here in a moment,” Anna whispers as she gently pushes some of my loose hair out of my face and I shake my head, not sure why she brought me in here to begin with.
“B-but I lied to him, didn’t-didn’t trust him. What if he says he doesn’t want t-to see me,” I cry, my fears taking over.
I messed up big time. I lost his trust by not putting mine in him by allowing the years of watching old ladies get hurt and burned to cloud my judgment.
Anna quickly cups my cheek and whispers, “He’ll understand, sweetheart. I promise. He loves you, he always has.”
She wipes away the tears and gently cups my bump, the baby moving underneath her palm and she smiles slightly, though you can still see her pain.
“When are you going to tell them?” I ask, and we lock eyes, hers racing between mine as she admits, “I don’t think I can, Ives,” and I nod, knowing not to question her.
She got put in a box labelled Patch Chaser, and that is where she’ll stay, but by the looks of things, it’s where she wants to stay unless Skylar can convince her otherwise.
The door to the room opens, and I tense up, not ready for this conversation, but Anna sends me a small smile and whispers, “Just tell the truth, and I promise everything will be alright. Have faith and remember the new generation are nothing like the old.”
I nod as she kisses my head, then turns. She squeezes Jax’s arm on her way out and I swallow hard hating that everyone thinks she’s this mean jealous bitch when really, she’s my hero.
“Are you going to talk?” Jax demands as he shuts the door behind Anna, locking it, then leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest, and I try not to flinch as I turn and eye the bed.
The sheets are different, gray, and the frame also looks different, but I just…
He’s slept with her a lot in this room, and I know I have no right to feel jealous, to feel hurt.
I tried to push him away, afraid of being hurt.
I wanted to force him to fight for me when I could have just told him everything and gave him my truths.
If I had, we’d most likely be well on our way to our own wedding, instead I agreed to marry a thug, being conned by my own mother who I thought loved me unconditionally like parents are supposed to.
Instead, she was a patch chaser who got cut off and butt hurt over it. She decided to take a page out of the Cartels' book and sell her own daughter to get money, some of which, according to what I heard walking in here, she still had in her account. Venom transferred it back to the club's account.
I was just someone to get her what she wanted and it wouldn’t surprise me if Hayden agreed to give her more money.
“I changed everything, Ivy. The bedding, mattress, base—all of it is different,” he consoles when he realizes what my problem is and I hum slightly as my eyes go to a picture of me sitting in the bed of his truck, my hair in pigtails on his nightstand.
I’m sat cross legged looking up at the sky my eyes closed wearing shorts and a bikini top.
I was so happy that day. It was just him and me, no one else, I also stole his favorite Metallica shirt and never gave it back.
“Cupcake!” he snaps, but I don’t look away from the picture of me.
I want to stay in my happy bubble, but I know I can’t ignore our problems, which I evidently caused the moment I mentioned New York though in my defense, I was a seventeen year old, scared to get hurt by the man she loved, her best friend and over the years my immaturity showed because I stupidly kept to the plan.
“Do you hate me?” I finally ask, and I look at him, my eyes tearing.
He tilts his head, considering his words before he replies, “No, I don’t hate you, cupcake. I could never hate you. I guess I’m just disappointed.”
Ouch.
“That’s kind of worse, Jax,” I admit, and he gives me a sad smile.
“You know me, Ives. You know my heart, you know my loyalty to you. It didn’t matter what happened between us. You knew you could have come to me, yet you chose not to,” he grunts, looking away, and I swallow hard.
“I thought she had cancer, Jax, surely you can understand –” he cuts me off and snaps, “As soon as they demanded your hand, you should have told me, and you know it, Ivy, so stop making excuses!”
I shake my head and remind him, “I knew you’d come and stop the wedding, Jax, deep down, I was banking on it.”
He growls, “That isn’t the fucking point, heck as soon as you knew you were pregnant you should have come straight to me but instead you wanted to punish me.”
I suck in a breath, shocked at his accusation, the same one Raya accused me of and deny, “No I would never –”
“Yes, you did,” he cuts me off again, “You wanted to believe I fucked Misty and decided to punish me for not coming to you, for not denying it,” he sighs, “You wanted me to be fucking psychic, to know that you saw her walking out of this room and because I wasn’t, because I didn’t come to you because I needed you to try and live your life, you decided to punish me and well done, cupcake, because it worked.
You hurt me real fucking bad agreeing to marry that fucker,” I flinch, “You hurt me so fucking bad keeping your pregnancy from me when I hadn’t done anything to warrant it. ”
I sniffle, my emotions going haywire and I deny, “I didn’t punish you, Jax, I was trying to be there for my mother, not realizing she was conning me and I’m sorry, I-I’m so sorry, I knew you’d stop the wedding, or I had hoped.
And yes I wanted you to deny sleeping with her because I needed that reassurance that’s all, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I wasn’t trying to punish you, I just wanted you to fight for me for us, I wanted you to see how much I loved you,” I sniffle again, wiping my cheeks.
I admit, “I love you too much to try and hurt you purposely and I know I should have fought instead, to prove to you that you are mine I-I–”
Jax’s mouth parts in shock before he pushes off the door and walks towards me, cutting my words off as he then cups my cheek and demands, “Say it again.”
I frown and say, “I’m sorry,” but he shakes his head and demands again, “Say it again, Ivy.”
My eyes race between his as realization hits.
I confessed my love, never actually saying the words to him before….
“I love you, Jax, I always have, I –” he cuts me off as he slams his lips against mine.
I moan, melting instantly against him and opening my mouth as his tongue pushes through my lips and tangles with mine, and everything around me disappears, him becoming all I can focus on.
Oh god, I’ve missed him.
I tilt my head and deepen the kiss as I grip his cut before gently moving it off his shoulders, needing him.
He allows me to remove it, and carefully, I throw it near the door where his chair is, knowing the cut is sacred before I grab his shirt next and slowly raise it before breaking the kiss, making eye contact with Jax.
I swallow hard at the heat in his eyes as he helps me take his shirt off, breaking our eye contact.
I look at his body, but I suck in a breath, looking at his chest.
Ivy
My name is scripted in the middle of ivy angel wings over his heart, and a lump forms in my throat.
What did I do?
“I’m such an idiot,” I whisper as I gently trace the tattoo, and he quickly grabs my finger, making me look at him.
His eyes race between mine, and he admits, “You’re not an idiot, cupcake, you were just scared.”
I half shrug as a few tears fall and rasp, “Still an idiot… I love you, Jax.”
Jax lets go of my hand and cups my cheek as his eyes take me in and he replies, “Not as much as I love you,” before he slams his lips against mine in a hard, bruising kiss, his tongue instantly pushing into my mouth.
I moan and wrap my arms around his neck as his hands go to my butt and he lifts me, my legs wrapping around his waist automatically before he moves.
I feel a soft padding against my back seconds later, but I don’t break the kiss. If anything, I heat it up as I grind myself against him, needing him.
Jax groans and quickly pulls his shirt that I’m wearing up, then breaks the kiss, taking it off, freeing my breasts.
“Fuck,” he mutters taking me in before leaning down and takes a nipple in his mouth sucking it causing me to arch my back in pleasure before he goes to the other giving it the same treatment causing my clit to throb, my breathing to pick up.
He teases me, riles me up and I squirm against him, and I beg, “Please, please,” needing penetration, needing him, and I feel his lips lift into a smirk against my breast before he moves down gently kissing between my breasts but he freezes for a moment and I swallow hard knowing what he’s seen, though I don’t look down to gauge his reaction not knowing if I allowed someone else to do it that will most likely piss him off or because I got his legal name on my skin.
“We’ll discuss what fucker I’m killing later for tattooing my body, cupcake,” he mutters, and I smirk and look down at him with a raised brow.
He narrows his eyes before continuing his path down my body, his lips gently caressing my stomach, and he asks, “Do you know the sex?”
I swallow hard as he looks up at me again before I admit, “No, it didn’t feel right finding out without you…”
He nods and mumbles, “Tomorrow, we’ll find out tomorrow,” and my heart melts before he continues his path down my body.
Hooking his fingers in my leggings, he gently pulls them down my legs, continuing to run his lips over my skin, making me squirm some more, before he throws my leggings and then gently guides his hands up the inside of my legs, forcing me to open up for him.
He climbs back on the bed but instead of climbing up my body and entering me which I want more than anything right now, my hormones going haywire, he instead dives in between my legs, his mouth going over my center making me gasp and arch my back as he instantly sucks my clit into his mouth giving me nothing but pleasure.
I push my hips up, wanting more, needing it, and as if reading my mind, Jax pushes two fingers inside my entrance, my walls instantly squeezing them, and I moan and push into him.
“I-I’m….” I moan then scream, “Jax!” as he sucks my clit hard and rubs his fingers against my g-spot and my stomach tightens as I come, my mind going into an out of body experience as my vision blurs, nothing but pleasure filling me.
Breathing heavily, I open my eyes as Jax’s body moves off mine, and we lock eyes.
I suck in a breath at the intensity shining back at me and he doesn’t break eye contact as he undoes his jeans, shoving them down, even as he climbs over my body, in between my thighs, he keeps eye contact and enters me in one thrust.
I gasp as he links our fingers, placing them beside my head, and begins to thrust, keeping our eyes locked, our lips just touching.
It’s intense, it’s all-consuming, it’s us.
I wrap my legs around his waist and pull my fingers out of his and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close while keeping eye contact as we make love, our heavy breathing and our bodies slapping echoing in the room.
I’ll never lose this man, and I will never pressure him into fighting for me when that is what he has always done.
He fought for my independence, something every club princess has always wanted, something I took for granted.