Chapter 20 Dylan
DYLAN
“Can I look yet?”
I keep my hands clamped over her eyes, not breaking my grip on her for a second.
No way am I going to ruin the surprise before the time is right.
It might be little more than some land and a few markers where we intend to start building soon, but I want to make sure she enjoys the full effect of it as best she can.
It was Carlisle’s idea, all of this.
I could tell that there was something on his mind the second he walked into the cabin a few days ago, his face lit up like there was so damn much he wanted to tell us that he didn’t have a clue where to start.
And sure enough, when we got it out of him, for a moment, I thought he was downright crazy.
Building a new school? And a new home for Angelie and the kids?
It’s an enormous undertaking, to say the least, and one that we would be carrying out without so much as running it by her first. But Carlisle told us he was confident that he knew what she needed.
Regardless, it’s what we owe her and the quads, given that we were so pointedly absent from their lives for such a long time.
And I’m not going to argue with that. It’s been bothering me no end, after she broke down to us the other night, thinking of all she had to go through in raising them alone.
Regardless of which one of us is the father, I know none of us would have chosen that for her, not if we’d known—no, we would have done everything in our power to make sure that she had everything she needed.
All the support, all the care, all the love.
And perhaps most importantly, all the space, given that Joe spent some time at her home the other day and told me that there was barely enough room for the two of them, let alone Angelie and the four kids.
And they’re growing quickly too—it won’t be long till they’re in school, running through clothes and shoes as they age up and out of them in a matter of months at a time.
It’s not the kind of thing Angelie can manage on a teacher’s salary.
At least, not for long, and certainly not while she’s still paying rent on that house that’s way too small for them in the first place.
I whip my hands back at last, and for a moment, Angelie just stands there, staring at the land before us, completely nonplussed.
“What is this place?” she murmurs, casting her eye around as though it might hold some clue as to what’s going on here. A frown digs her brows together. “The land up here costs a fortune, and it’s not like we need an extra schoolhouse if the new one is—”
“This isn’t for the school, Angelie,” I tell her softly. “This is for you.”
For a second, I’m not sure that she’s heard me. She stands, frozen to the spot, like she has no idea what to do with herself. Slowly, she turns to face me, her eyes so wide they look as though they might fall straight out of her head.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“This land, it’s going to be your new home,” I explain to her.
“For you and the kids. We’re going to build a house here, at the same time as the school.
It should be finished in a few months. I have the plans in the car, if you want to see them—five bedrooms, and a garden, plenty of space for them to run around as they grow up… ”
Finally, her face softens, like she’s just beginning to make sense of what she’s seeing—as though she can almost see the house taking shape as I explain it to her.
“Can I see the blueprints?” she asks, a smile spreading over her face. “Just so I can get a better feel for how it’s going to look when it’s all done, I mean…”
“My pleasure,” I reply, and I head back to the car, leaving her standing there.
As I pull the plans from the back of the car, I steal a glance in her direction.
I can only imagine how much this is for her to take in, and I hope it’s not overwhelming her.
I just want her to be happy, after all the struggle she’s been through trying to raise those kids alone, after losing the place that she poured so much of herself into.
It might seem mad, the lengths we’re going to for her, but to me, it seems like the most natural thing in the world.
I walk back to her side with the plans and hold them out to her, and she takes them from me, squinting down at them for a moment—and then sighing and shaking her head.
“I don’t even know why I asked for these,” she admits with a slight laugh. “It’s not like I have any idea what any of it means.”
“Well,” I begin, tracing my fingers over the squares and sketches on the page in front of us. “This, right here, that’s going to be the entrance hall. And that’s going to be…” I take her hand and lead her a few steps forward. “Right here.”
She takes another look down at the blueprint, as though picturing it in front of her. Her smile widens, as though she’s just beginning to really make sense of it.
“And then, when you come through here, this is going to be the kitchen, and then it opens out into a dining room and living room from there…”
I walk through this imaginary version of the house, explaining every little detail that I’ve been able to glean from the plans.
I might not know a whole lot about architecture, but when I see the look on her face, the way it lights up as she puts all the pieces together, I know it doesn’t really matter.
All she cares about is being able to picture all of this as it comes together, to see a version of this house that will serve as a home for her and her family.
“…and this will be your room,” I finish up as I come to a halt, flashing her a grin.
She laughs, shaking her head at me. “Trust you to figure out a way to stop right in the bedroom.”
“Well, can you blame me?” I reply, and I wrap my arms around her, drawing her in close. She cocks her head to the side, gazing up at me for a moment, something clearly on her mind.
“What is it?” I wonder aloud, brushing my nose across hers, glad for a moment to myself with her. Not that I minded much sharing her the other night, but there’s something undeniably comfortable about feeling her so close to me, knowing that I’m the focus of all her attention right now.
“Nothing,” she assures me quickly. “I just…I don’t think I ever saw you as the type who would be talking houses and babies and futures, that’s all.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Come on, that can’t come as too much of a surprise,” she points out, raising her eyebrows. “Not with the reputation you made for yourself while you were here.”
“You think that’s still going to stick around?” I remark. “Surely most of the town will have moved on by now.”
“Uh, I think you might have forgotten how this place works,” she replies with a slight giggle. “Everyone remembers everything here, you should know that. And that includes what you got up to when you were living here.”
I groan, resting my head against hers for a moment. “Damn, and here I was thinking that I had gotten away from all of that. You think you can ever forgive me?”
“I mean, we weren’t even together when all of that happened,” she points out, as she rests her arms on my shoulders. “Not that we’re together now, I mean, I just…” She trails off again.
It’s clear she doesn’t quite know how to put it all into words, and I can’t say I blame her. There’s so much tangled up here, so much unconventionality in the way that this relationship has come to pass, but at the same time…
At the same time, as I stand here in this imaginary room with her, it’s hard to care about that at all. I just want to make her happy. It’s as simple as that, and no matter what might have happened in the past, I just want to leave it there.
“So what I’m hearing is that you do forgive me,” I remark, turning the subject back to something we can both agree on.
“Hmm, I don’t know,” she replies playfully. “I might need a little convincing…”
“Just say the word,” I shoot back, dropping a kiss on her lips. And even as she smiles into my embrace, I can sense something under her skin—something she might not be able to put into words quite yet, no matter how much I try to coax her.
“I just can’t stop feeling like I won’t be enough for you,” she confesses, finally, her teeth resting on her bottom lip. “I mean, you’ve been with so many women before in the past, and now it’s me and three other guys…”
I sigh, smoothing my hand over her head.
I can’t say that it entirely surprises me, to hear this from her—I mean, it’s not as though I haven’t earned some kind of skepticism.
Most of the women in this town would second-guess me, based on my reputation, but the person that I was then doesn’t have to be the one I am now.
And more to the point, I don’t want it to be. I’m better than that. Well, maybe not better, but different.
“Can I tell you something?” I murmur to her, and she nods, her eyes searching mine.
“Of course.”
“That night when the five of us were together for the first time,” I tell her.
“That night—it changed everything for me. Because…because I’ve never felt anything like the pleasure I did on that night.
Not just physically, I mean, but that was a part of it—but…
it was like I found something I had been looking for, longer than I even knew. ”
She stares up at me, letting me fill in the blanks.
“And I’m not going to lie to you and pretend like I didn’t end up with other women in the years in between,” I continue.
“I couldn’t just turn off that habit, not that easy.
I didn’t know—or at least, I didn’t want to accept it yet, that I had found something I couldn’t find with anyone else.
But I know it now. I knew it the second I laid eyes on you again, and I don’t want to forget it, not as long as I live.
I won’t let myself. I don’t even know if I can. ”
She softens into me at the sound of those words, almost relieved. “What are you saying, Dylan?” she asks.
I smile, brushing my nose against hers. “That I want to be with you,” I reply. “That I think I’m ready to be a one-woman man.”
“Jesus, I never thought I would hear something like that from you.” She giggles.
“Me neither,” I reply. “Seems like you bring that kind of thing out in a man, you know.”
“Dangerous skill to have,” she murmurs, squeezing me a little closer.
“Only if you abuse it.”
“Oh, and I have every intention of doing just that,” she shoots back playfully. Her eyes are shining now, a grin on her face that looks fit to split it in two. I like this side of her, unfettered from worry, almost able to believe that I mean it when I say I want her.
“You really mean it?” she asks softly, her eyes still searching mine, as though she might find something there that will reveal the truth of the way I feel.
I don’t know what it’s going to take to convince her that she can trust me, but it seems like she doesn’t quite have it in her to believe that I mean every word coming out of my mouth right now.
Maybe I only have myself to blame—after all, I’m the one who developed this reputation in the first place, the one who hooked up with half the women in this town and then plenty more on the road to boot.
“Does this answer your question?” I murmur softly.
And before she can say another word, I sink into her again, and kiss her.
The blueprints fall from my hand, forgotten, as I hold her there in what will soon be her bedroom.
I can feel her grinning against my lips as my hands roam her body, and for a moment, I’m cast back to the memory of that night—that night with her at the bonfire, the night where it all started.
I could never have guessed that it would lead me here. But now that I have a taste of it—I know I’ll never settle for anything less.