Chapter 23 Angelie #2
“We were sent out to these villages, tiny places in the middle of nowhere that weren’t doing a damn thing to anyone,” Dylan cuts in, his voice dropping suddenly, cold. “Told to evict families from their homes. Told to—”
Callum shoots him a look and he stops dead, like he thinks it will be too much for me to hear.
“We did things that no right-thinking person should ever have to do,” Callum says. “At first—it feels like you have to, like there’s no choice. Like it’s life or death and you against them, and this was a matter of making it out alive…”
“But that’s not how it was,” Dylan adds. “Never how it was, really.”
“That’s why we left,” Carlisle explains, at last. “As soon as that first tour was done—we were out. Meant to serve a few more before we got our full pensions, but I didn’t want to live like that.
None of us did. So we just…we walked out.
Came back to America. Figured out what we could do here that would actually help people, instead of getting caught up in shit that we were told would help people when we knew it was anything but. ”
I look between the four of them, and I can practically feel it, the weight of what they went through pulsing through their minds.
I might not be able to see into their memories to understand what happened to them, what they were forced to do over there, but all I have to go on are the men who sit before me now.
“And that’s how you wound up firefighting?”
“Thought I would put some of my father’s money to good use, for a change,” Carlisle remarks. “And given that Joe had history with it, with his dad and all, we knew what we were getting into.”
“Knew we could actually help people,” Callum mutters. “Not just carry out orders for someone else’s plans that left everyone worse off than before.”
“You saved so many lives, doing this,” I tell them, trying to keep my voice as steady as I can make it, given the circumstances. “I mean, with the firefighting…if it hadn’t been for you guys, I don’t even want to think what might have happened in Devin Ridge. Even just to this house…”
I gesture around, and find that I’m gripped by a sudden rush of sadness, imagining that this place might have slipped through my fingers just like that.
I know I have a new home on the horizon now, but that doesn’t mean that this house doesn’t hold memories for me, memories that I would have been devastated if I had to lose out on with no warning.
“It’s the least we could do,” Carlisle replies. “Right the balance whatever way we could…”
“Well, I’m grateful for it,” I tell them firmly. “And so are the children. And so’s everyone in this town. All the work you’re putting in at the school, it’s more than any of us could have asked for—more than I ever could have imagined, actually.”
I hesitate, catching my breath. This is the hard part, the part that I’ve been trying to figure out inside my head all day. How exactly do I ask them what their plans are now? I’m not sure I have any right to just lay it out and demand it so straightforwardly, but then…
But then, I’m done playing games. I have to think of my children, of the baby inside of me, of creating a life for them that feels like it runs smoothly and consistently. And I’m not going to get that by ducking away from the hard questions.
“So…so when the school and the house are built,” I ask softly, hardly daring to get the words out, in case they come with an answer that I’m not ready to hear. “Does that mean that…that you’re going to leave?”
The words hang there in the air for a long moment, and I wonder, for a second, if I’ve danced a little too close to the sun.
Have I been living in a fantasy all this time, letting myself believe that they might stay, when there’s so much they need to do out there?
When the amends that they feel as though they have to make are so great?
But then, Carlisle cocks his head to the side, gaze not moving from mine. “Do you want us to stay?”
“Yes,” I gush, before I can stop myself.
“Oh God, yes—I want you to stay so badly. I’ve wanted you here since the moment I found out I was pregnant with the quads, and I…
I never thought I would get a chance to see you again, to tell you all of this.
It still doesn’t feel…real, sometimes, that you get to know about them. ”
I sigh, letting out a slight laugh as I shake my head. “You know, it’s stupid, but I always felt like I had four children because I was with the four of you at the same time,” I admit. “I know how it sounds, I know it’s not possible, but it was like—like I got a child for every man that I loved.”
Loved. That word escapes me before I can stop it, and the weight it carries is far from lost on me. I inhale sharply, half hoping they didn’t hear it, but it’s out there now, and there’s nothing we can do to change it.
“I know only one of you is the father,” I add quickly, not wanting to sound as though I’m entirely delusional. “But—”
“I don’t care who it is,” Dylan cuts in. “Never have.”
“Me neither,” Joe adds.
“Yeah, I feel the same way,” Callum agrees, and Carlisle nods, throwing his hat into the ring too.
I bite my lip, but this time it’s to contain the smile that threatens to burst out. “Really?”
“Really,” Carlisle replies. “It never mattered to me who the father was, on a biological level, I mean. The moment I saw those kids, I thought of myself as their father, and I’d guess that these guys feel the same way.”
“Four fathers,” I murmur, shaking my head. “That would leave them pretty spoiled, right?”
“Oh, yeah, but they deserve it,” Joe remarks. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for. Got to put things right. The house is a start, but we’ve still got a long way to go.”
“And we’re only going to be able to do it if we stick around,” Dylan points out, reaching out for me and laying a hand on my knee. “If you’ll let us, that is.”
“Of course I will,” I blurt out, and I feel a lump leap to my throat, a rush of happy tears threatening before I can get a handle on them.
As I look between the four of them, the way they gaze at me like they can’t believe that I’m right here in front of them, it warms something in me that I didn’t even know had been lacking all this time.
But there’s still more I want to say out loud. More that I want them to know. And now seems as good a time as any to come out with it, once and for all, and get it off my chest.
“I think I might have another reason for you to stay too,” I murmur. And as I lay my hand on my belly, I watch their faces as the reality begins to sink in for all of them in turn.
Callum seems to be the first to make sense of it, springing to his feet like his ass is on fire. “You’re—”
“No fucking way,” Carlisle mutters, leaning forward, his eyes so wide it looks as though they might pop out of his head.
“What are you talking about—” Joe begins, but then it clicks, and his jaw drops.
“You’re pregnant?” Dylan finally says, and I nod.
“I’m pregnant,” I confirm. Barely a second later, I’m descended upon by the four men, pulling me into their arms like they can’t imagine ever letting me go.
“God, Angelie, how long have you known?” Carlisle murmurs, as he presses a kiss into my temple.
“A few days for sure,” I mumble against Joe’s shoulder, where he’s holding me so close I’m not sure that we’ll ever be able to disentangle ourselves from one another.
“I wanted to tell you in person, you know, when I was sure that you wanted to stay. Didn’t want to feel like I was holding it over your heads or something. ”
“It’s all going to be different this time,” Callum tells me, as he catches my face in his hand, gazing at me like he’s still somewhat in shock. “We’re going to be here to support you. Everything you need—”
“Shit, we’re going to need to put another room in the house!
” Dylan exclaims, and I laugh, almost overwhelmed by the way they’re all reacting.
As though there’s nowhere they would rather be than here, with me, hearing this news, knowing that they’re going to be fathers again.
Knowing that they’re not only willing to step up as parents for the four children slumbering upstairs, but for the one growing in my belly too.
And as Carlisle pulls me into a passionate kiss, I know that this is where I have always belonged.
I have a chance to do it right this time, to share this wildly unconventional but utterly perfect family unit with the four men who helped me make it.
I don’t know exactly how I intend to explain it to the outside world, but in truth, at this point, I hardly give a damn.
As long as I have them, I know that everything is going to be alright. And I can’t think of much that matters more in the world than that.