14. Quasim
Quasim
“Yeah, open the door. I brought Chinese food because I know you need to eat.” Havoc came into the house, kicked his sneakers off, and followed me into the living room.
I was tired from going to a specialist three hours away for Harley, just for them to tell me nothing. They couldn’t save her, and I was feeling closer to ending myself the minute my baby took her last breath. How was I supposed to live without her?
They taught us how to care for children, but nobody taught us how to live without them. You never thought that your child would be leaving the earth before you. Harley was supposed to go to college and do everything that she wanted to in life. When it was my time, she was supposed to cry, tell me how much she loved me, and it was time for me to let go.
It wasn’t supposed to be reversed for me.
“Egg roll?” Havoc called from the kitchen, and I nodded.
I sat staring at the TV, feeling depleted. What else was there for me to do in life? I wasn’t going to ever fall in love again or have any more children. Blaze was going to carry on the Inferno blood, not me.
Havoc handed me the plate and sat on the couch across from me. “Eat, Sim.”
I pushed the rice around as he started to eat his food. “How did the appointment go?”
“Waste of time.”
“Sorry.”
I paused from eating and looked at Havoc. “Hamza, how the fuck am I supposed to continue with life? I already fucking scarred Blaze with the shit he walked into… feel like a fucking bitch… weak. My brother saw me that way.”
Havoc put his food down and looked at me. “Weak would have been pulling that trigger. It took strength to put that gun down and listen to him, Quasim. You stayed for us, King. Shit not easy, and I respect and understand that. No matter what, you got the Gods, and we gonna hold you down.” He held his hand out and I placed mine in his, as he stood, pulling me up with him, hugging me.
“I can’t lose her.”
“A king doesn’t just wear the crown. He carries the weight of his people, and when that fire comes, he never stands alone… Inferno Gods stand with him, ready to fight, ready to lay it all down.”
“You know, I remember when Dumplin was running around here taking naps.” I felt a soft kiss on my forehead as I opened my eyes from my nap. “You taking naps and Angel pie over there eating anything in her path.”
I was on the couch and Pyro was right on my lap. She was acting all prissy when it came to being in the house, and now her ass was taking naps without having to watch her back. Once she felt me get up, she stretched and then abandoned me with her using ass.
Gams came around the couch and went into the kitchen with bags in her hand. “I didn’t sleep all that much last night.” I lied. With the way that Anjo sucked the skin off my dick last night, she had me sleep with my thumb in my mouth. Now I knew she did it on purpose because she knew I needed the sleep. “What does Blaze taking a nap have to do with me?”
I crossed the living room into the kitchen where she was unpacking groceries out the bag. “A God went with you, right?”
She smiled. “Yes, four of them… scared the poor lady in the local market.”
I settled into the stool and yawned, while looking at my grandmother. “Nap and Blaze.” I reminded her.
“Dumplin took naps before Suga pie found out she was pregnant… naps only mean that Angel cake is carrying another Inferno, Moochie.”
I laughed as I looked at my grandmother. “Gams, everybody takes naps… she’s not pregnant.”
“Well, explain that to your mother… she told me she dreamed of fish this morning.” She continued on with her wild ass theory.
“What does fish, naps, or any of this have to do with anything?”
She came around the counter and kissed me on the head. “It will all make sense soo?—”
The front door opened, and Blaze came running in the kitchen. “Pops got mommy on the bike, Sim.”
He was excited as a kid getting their favorite game for their birthday. The shit was contagious because I was just as excited as I slipped my feet into my house shoes and ran behind him.
When I came out the house, my father was on his bike with my mother holding onto him tightly. “I’m free.” My mother said as she smiled.
I walked over toward them and kissed my mother on the head. “Free, mommy.”
My father avoided looking me in the eyes, but I knew he was emotional. Quinton Inferno wasn’t one for tears and showing his emotion. Something his ass passed onto me. It was hard to show my emotions, and I struggled with feeling like a weaker man because of it.
Pops raised us to get our emotions out, but what was going to come next? We never sat in them long, which is why I broke down in my baby’s arms when she handed me the blanket and photo album.
How did God deem me worthy to love and protect her? Blair was too damn good for this world. Her heart was as big as the sky, and she would do whatever for those she loved. Including almost killing herself to get my baby girl’s blanket and album.
“Go, Quin.” My mother said, and I smiled wide while holding my hand up to my mouth and watching my father.
The shit had me stuck in my tracks, hearing her call him Quin. She was the only one that called him that, and it had been years since I heard her utter those words.
Blaze tried to put her helmet on her head, and she shook it away. “You gotta wear a helmet, Mina.” Pops told her.
“Meer-Meer, no,” she said, and Blaze damn near lost his shit as the tears fell down his face as he watched our mother.
She leaned her head on my father’s shoulder. “It’s only around the block… she wanna feel like old times, Papa,” Gams came out and stood next to me.
I pulled her into me as we watched him back out of the driveway and then take off slowly down the block. My mother held onto him tightly and leaned her head onto his back. It reminded me of me and Anjo in Chicago.
When she leaned her head on my back while holding me tightly, she didn’t realize how much I needed that. “Go, Ma! Go!” Capri jumped up and down as she jogged down the block.
Anjo was behind her, dying with Alaia and Erin. Capri ran over to Meer, jumping into his arms as he kissed her face. “She’s back on the bike.” He said to her, as she hugged him tightly.
I watched as Anjo moved out the street but kept watch. My father spun the block and zoomed back down it. My mother’s hair flew in the wind as she held up her hand with only two fingers up, signifying an I for Inferno. Anjo walked over and I pulled her into me while holding onto Gams.
“She missed this,” Gams sniffled, wiping her eyes, and I kissed the top of her head. “Meu bebezinho está de volta.”
“ mam?e voltou para nós ,” I replied and kissed her head again while holding both her and Anjo close to me.
We watched my father ride up and down the block one last time before he eventually left the block to go back to Capri and Blaze’s house. Gams went back to the kitchen to prepare whatever she was making for dinner tonight.
Anjo headed upstairs while I put food down for Pyro’s greedy ass. She rubbed against my leg and then went to her food. “That cat has an old soul.” Gams snickered.
“Yeah, an old hoe.”
“Quasim!”
“My bad, Gams.” I stole a pepper and headed upstairs where Anjo was on the phone. I could hear how stressed she sounded.
“She doesn’t like being there… she called me three times today, Tre.” I watched as she paced the bedroom. “I understand she doesn’t want to move to the west coast, and you don’t have the time to commit to caring for her… I don’t know… maybe I’ll have her move into my apartment with me.”
I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but they both agreed to pick up the conversation again because he had to end it. She tossed her phone on the sofa and ran her hands through her hair.
“Tell me.”
She jumped, turning around. “Augusta Mae is in some old folks’ home, and she hates it… she may be getting older, but she is still sharp and can care for herself. That was one of her biggest fears.”
“What you wanna do, Anjo?”
“I don’t know. Tre says he doesn’t have the time to commit to her, but she doesn’t need a bunch of time. He lives on the other side of the country, so of course, it’s easier for him to stick her into a home.”
I motioned for her to come to me, and she dropped her shoulders with her lip poked out, wrapping her arms around me. “Tell me what you wanna do, Anjo. You know what you wanna do… tell me.”
“Would it be so bad for me to move her into my apartment with me? This woman took me in when everyone kept tossing me back into the system. She gave me a home when I didn’t have one. Never judged me for my decisions, even though I know she never approved of them. If I had listened to her, none of this would have happened. Augusta hated Tyshawn. She called me crying, and Augusta Mae doesn’t cry, Simmy.”
I wrapped my arms around her, as she sighed. “You intended to piss me off, my love?”
She lifted her head. “What are you talking about, crazy?”
“Why would she move into your apartment?”
“Cause that’s my home.”
“Your home is with me.”
She smiled and squeezed me as tight as she could. “Awe, Simmy… but I do have an apartment.”
“There we go.”
“Whatever, home is with you.” She laughed.
I grabbed her ass with both hands and kissed her ear. “Bring her here. It’s clear she means a lot to you, Anjo. If that shit messes with you, then let her come stay here.”
She smiled up at me. “Yeah?”
“Uh huh.”
“I’ll have to talk to Tre about it, but I love you wanting to help solve my problems.”
I kissed her lips. “Your problems are mine… got a question for you, though.”
“What?” she looked concerned.
“You pregnant?”
“Huh?
“People around here dreaming of fish, accusing me of napping, and shit… you got my baby in there, Anjo?”
She snorted and tried to walk away, and I pulled her back. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“You taking a test before you head to Miami.” I told her, as she wiggled out of my grasp to head to the bathroom.
“Is it necessary to bring both Yasin and Hassan?”
“Very necessary. I’m gonna charter that jet for you, too.” I called behind her, and she popped her head back around the corner.
“Love you, Simmy.”
“Love you more, baby.”
Soon as she closed the door, I grabbed my phone and saw the missed call and text message from Berkeley.
Berkeley: Hey, can we meet up and talk? Urgent.
I ignored her message and went right to Capri’s name and sent her a quick text message.
Me: You got pregnancy tests?
She took a minute before she replied. The bubble kept appearing and then disappearing before her call came through. I slipped out the room and answered the FaceTime call.
“Is she pregnant, Sim? Please tell me she is… omg!” She cheered, and I put my finger to my lip signaling her to be quiet.
“Nah… Gams got my ass paranoid and thinking now.”
No sooner than I said that, Blaze’s big-headed ass popped in the camera. “She trapped you just like I taught her.”
“Do you got the damn…” I lowered my voice. “The damn tests or not?”
Capri smiled. “I have plenty… I can bring them over and then sit in the bathroom with you both.”
“Since I know you dead serious, just bring them over here then.”
“I’m coming, too.”
“The fuck you need to come for?”
Blaze looked at me like I was supposed to know what that look was. “I’m her fucking bestie, too… the fuck?”
“You high?”
“A little.”
Capri snatched the phone. “Me and the kids are walking over now, and I got the test in my pocket… this secret is safe with me.”
“Capri?”
“Yeah?”
“Calm the fuck down.” I said and ended the call, going back into the bedroom. Instead of replying to Berk’s text, I silenced my phone and sat on the edge of the bed while waiting for Anjo.
If she was pregnant, this was another chance at being a father. I wouldn’t say I was the worst father when Harley was alive, but I was in the streets, leaving Cherie to care for her often. I was present, but when I was needed, I was always on go.
Still, I couldn’t sit here and pretend like the idea of Anjo being pregnant didn’t scare the shit out of me. My chest felt all tight, and my hands were moist from the sweat accumulating in my palms.
I wanted this time to be different. The goal was to always marry Blair and make her my wife. It didn’t matter if she never gave me any kids or not, she was always going to be my wife. If she was pregnant, our lives would really change.
Things would be different.
We both experienced the heartbreak of losing a child. It was something we both struggled with, and now there was this second chance that God could have been possibly giving us. I felt like he was giving me a second chance with Elijah.
It was the reason I protected him and refused for anybody to take him from me. One conversation with Core, and I was already working on getting him a passport, and the proper identification.
Core told me he was going to look into some shit when it came to Elijah, because not much was known. If Thea wasn’t his mother, then who the fuck was she and why did she have him?
It was clear she wasn’t supposed to be a mother, so why did someone stick him with her? After seeing that picture he drew, some horrible shit happened to him, and I was still working my nerve up to have the conversation with him.
Thea did that fuck shit and then disappeared. It was like she was wiped off the face of the earth, never to be found again. As much as I wanted to blame Leon and beat his ass, he wasn’t involved. He wasn’t on the cameras, and his ass hadn’t been around much before the fire. I watched the cameras back and his car wasn’t in the driveway for a little while before, but that same detective car was.
It came three times in one week, and the expedition came one of those days. I never saw who was in that shit because the tints were too dark, and they always pulled up where the camera didn’t catch who they were. At first, I was never that invested in what Thea’s hoe ass was doing.
Now I was.
“You good, baby?” Anjo’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as I held my phone and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Thinking. I want to tell—” my words were cut short when the doorbell sounded. “The fuck, did she run over here?”
“Who?”
“Capri.”
“Something happened?”
“Nah… she’s lending me something.”
Her shoulders relaxed and she went into the closet to get dressed, and slather that body mixture that had me ready to suck on her pussy the minute she came too close to me.
The knocking on the bedroom door made me shake my head, because how the hell she got over here so quick? “Come in.”
I watched as the door slowly opened and Capri stuck her head in, before Blaze shoved her ass to get into the room. “Where is she?”
“Right here?” Blair came out the closet with my robe on and looked between me and her besties . “What is going on?”
Capri whipped out pregnancy tests in wrappers and smiled. “Brownies for my Brownie.”
Anjo shot daggers across the room, and I looked away. “Yeah, you be mad… come on so we can find out.”
“I know my body.”
“Oh yeah, then why did you complain about tender breasts?” Capri called her out.
“And you told me that you accidentally flushed Meer’s weed that he left behind the toilet.” Anjo called her out.
“Oh, fuck no… you told me that I misplaced that shit, Sug.”
“You did, baby… in the toilet. Who leaves their roll up in the bathroom anyway?” she tried to flip it on him.
“I turn the shower on, and the steam gets me higher.”
I laughed. “He been doing that shit since he was in high school. Always had Gams hollering at him about it.”
“Lying to your husband is bad, Capri.” Anjo continued on and laughed.
“You’ve been extra tired… fell asleep on the couch at the house before we went for a run.” Capri continued.
“Can you blame me? I have asthma.”
“The fuck that got to do with anything, my love?”
She shrugged. “Why do I feel like I’m being ganged up on?”
“Cause you are.” Blaze replied, taking a bite of a cookie, I knew he swiped from downstairs before coming up here.
Capri roped her arm around Anjo and leaned her head on her shoulder. “Wouldn’t it be a relief to just know?”
“I was pretty fine before… it’s you three that’s worried about my uterus.”
“With the way you were screaming in Bali… it’s our uterus now, B.” Blaze continued, and I shook my head while laughing.
I walked over to her and kissed her cheek. “We don’t have to take one if you don’t want to.”
She smiled as she leaned her head on me and stuck her tongue at Blaze. “I don’t like your brother.”
“Don’t gotta like me, B… you love me.” He pushed past us and went into the bathroom with his nosey ass wife behind him.
“Well, I am going to come in, too, because I started this mess,” Gams poked her head into the room.
“Seriously, Gams?”
“Suga pie dropped one of the tests while she was digging in the pots.” She shuffled on by to go into the bathroom with the rest of them.
Anjo laughed while I remembered the kids. “Where the kids?”
“Elijah is back to chasing frogs and Papa was telling him about frog legs and how they taste like chicken… they stayed.” Capri yelled back.
Recommendation: Know that you are loved by Cleo Sol
Anjo headed into the bathroom first and snatched the test from Capri as they all sat on the edge of the tub.
Me and Anjo went into the water closet and closed the door behind us. She looked up into my eyes as I leaned against the door.
As much as I didn’t mind my family being in the bathroom, shit was weird, but I wanted this moment for us. I watched as she did her thing on the stick and then capped it before putting it on the back of the toilet before cleaning herself.
“Here goes nothing.”
“Timer is set.” Capri yelled from behind the door.
I took her hands in mine, not thinking about the fact that she just pissed on a stick. She looked into my eyes before bowing her head along with mine. “In this moment, my heart is full of emotions, hope, anticipation, and being real, a little fear. No matter how this goes, I place my trust in you and the path you are laying out for me and Blair. You know our hearts and the silent prayers that we have prayed, the faith that we have in you. You also know what is best for us, even if we can’t see it yet. It doesn’t matter the outcome, father, I trust you. I trust your guidance that you have shown, leading us into each other’s lives, healing my baby and giving her a second chance at life.” I took a deep breath as tears fell from my eyes.
Anjo sniffled. “Your timing is always right. We believe in what you have in store for us, and we thank you for continuing to give us a new day to make it right… another day and another chance to do what we’ve both been called to be… parents. In God’s name we pray.”
“Amen.” We both opened our eyes when we heard Capri, Gams, and Blaze say amen.
I looked at her. “Amen.”
She kissed me as I hugged her.
We remained held up in the small water closet, hugging as we waited for the minutes to count down. Anjo had her face in my chest while I rubbed her back. The timer blared from Capri’s phone and we both remained hugging until she pulled away to grab the test.
She slowly grabbed the test, and I opened the door, allowing us to step out into the bathroom. Blaze had his head leaned on Gams, while Capri was biting her nails, staring at us.
Even with three other people in the bathroom with us, it felt like it was just me and my love in here together. She leaned on the sink, as she stared into my eyes and looked down at the test. Her legs gave out as she dropped to the floor, and I caught her, getting down on the floor with her as she showed me the test.
The word pregnant was staring back at us.
My chest felt tight, and my throat was burning from the emotion that was coming through. “It’s positive, Simmy.” She whispered, as she cried into my arms.
I held her tightly as I kissed her head. This moment would forever be etched in my mind. We both had lost a child, and to be blessed with another one – together…
Fuck.
The feeling was something that I couldn’t shake as my hands trembled, when she stared into my eyes. She was meant to be for me.
I was meant to love this woman until I had nothing left to give because she deserved that. She was my Queen, the one who would have my last name, and she would bring another child into this world for me.
“Harley said it,” she whispered.
“Shit.” We both turned our heads to Gams, Capri, and Blaze crying while holding each other. He wiped his eyes while staring at me.
“Simmy, tell me something. You haven’t said anything… what are you feeling?”
I stared at her as she wiped my face. “Grateful, my love. I feel grateful. Honored.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck as I held her. Kissing her neck, I rubbed her back, knowing that the pressure to keep my future wife safe was ten times more now. If niggas thought, I lost my shit before… they didn’t know the half.
Capri came over and hugged Blair, pulling her out the bedroom so they could do their girl talk shit that they often did.
I pulled myself up from the floor and Gams was standing there with her tissue, dabbing her eyes. “There was a time when you lost faith and thought you didn’t deserve happiness. I never stopped praying for you, Moochie. Never let up and knew this day would come. I love you so much, Moochie.” I bent down and rested my head on Gam’s shoulder as she rubbed my back. “You deserve this. You do what needs to be done to protect this family, Diablo.”
I lifted my head, and she kissed my cheek as she winked, and went to go embrace Blair. Blaze stood there and looked at me. “The last time we were in the bathroom together weighs on me at times. It’s the reason that when you call, I run, because I never want you to get back to that place. You couldn’t see it then, but I always could. I always knew that you would have another chance, and the shit would be sponsored by my favorite niece. She put this all into play, Pop… I love you, nigga.”
We embraced and hugged tightly as he held onto me like he never wanted to go. “I love you too, Blaze.”
“If I have any advice to give you… even if she says she don’t like it… don’t eat her fucking food.”We both laughed through our tears as we went back into the bedroom. “B, congratulations.” Blaze said, and she rushed to him and hugged him tightly.
Blaze told me about the time he took her to the emergency room. Their bond was a little tighter because he had seen her at her lowest and never held the shit against her. “You know…”
He hugged her tightly. “Don’t even need to talk about it, B. I know.”
Capri leaned her head on my shoulder as we watched them embrace. “She was sent specifically for you, Sim. I don’t even need to tell you but love and protect her. Don’t run from what’s for you and she’s for you. Everything inside of me told me to run from Meer, and where would I have been if I didn’t trust God’s blueprint he set out for me? Would have missed out on the most amazing soul.” I kissed her forehead as I pulled her into me, and we watched Gams fold the laundry on the sofa.
“Gams, that ain’t why you up here,” Blaze told her, and she waved him off while we all laughed at her.
The one thing that she was going to do was take care of her boys.
In the midst of slowly losing my mother, she never took her arms from around us.