Chapter 17
Iwoke to the ghost of arms around my waist.
“Tell me,”Ace whispered in my ear. The sharp scent of redwood and roses lifted in the air.
Being the face of my nightmares wasn’t enough for Ace. How many times had he been there when I woke? Dragging me from one nightmare to the next, distorting reality so I could never escape.
Sometimes my dreams would cycle. I would wake to his arms around my waist, the brush of his breath on my neck, only for it to begin again. I woke over and over, never sure what was real and what wasn’t.
I focused on my surroundings, trying to find something to hold on to.
The filthy, bony mattress dug into my body, leaving me aching. The lights from the bathroom were on. I’d left them that way, and now, in the dim light, I stared at the wall. Concrete covered in cracked paint that might have once been a pleasant cream was now aged, dull, and grimy.
The room smelled dusty with a faint, damp scent from the bathroom, where I could hear the drip, drip, drip of the leaky shower. Their scents were here, too. Fainter than in the warehouse beyond, which told me this wasn’t a room they used much, but they were here.
A tangle of a lightning storm, of snow, and pear trees. Not enough to contend with redwood and rose that clogged my airway like a cruel promise.
“Tell me,” Ace asked again, his hand curling around my throat ever so gently.
I shut my eyes.
This wasn’t real.
He couldn’t be here.
There is nowhere he can’t be… Not even in the home of your mates. If you believed they were beyond his reach, you would have told them the truth. You wouldn’t be fleeing their protection.
But to answer his question, I might be handing a dream the power to be forever. If I didn’t, and if he was real…? Then I would pay.
My breathing caught as I cycled through my options. My breath hitched as Ace’s hand closed tighter around my throat.
Make a choice.
Real or dream?
“You,” I whispered, my voice weak. I wished I was strong enough to fight it, but after yesterday? He’d caught up to me, almost within reach.
But I knew it was the wrong choice the moment I’d spoken.
“Good.” His voice was a low purr that vibrated down my spine.
Tell me who you belong to.
I hated that demand.
It always came, becoming more terrifying every day after I’d escaped.
Another trap, designed to cage me in fears while it threatened the freedom and confidence I fought for every day. I always answered wrong, and when I woke, I’d spend the day a shell of myself. No matter if I was out for a night on the town with the girls, or working the bar with Tallow, as if I’d given up the right to the life I stepped back into.
Ace dragged me closer, teeth grazing my neck—a gesture of dominance more than anything—as he’d never truly intended a bond.
I shook, trying to find the courage to take it back, to deny him, knowing I would fail.
My eyes traced the cracks in the wall. It was so real. He was here. He was really here, and if I didn’t answer, he would?—
“Glade!”
I jerked violently, eyes snapping open. The same cracked walls swam in teary vision. I turned, confused by the scents around me. Redwood and roses had vanished, and in their void, violence was a shot of adrenaline ripping me from sanity. I had a body pinned in a flash, and Ace’s blue eyes stared back at me.
I blinked, panic shredding my lungs to ribbons, a fist squeezing my throat.
Real.
It had been real, like I’d always known it would be one?—
I froze.
Silver hair. Messy silver waves swept across those blue eyes, not flutters of black. Tattoos, detailed shards and thorns and leaves, beautiful in how they reached up his neck, scattering almost delicately across his chin and cheek, emphasising a razor sharp jaw.
I blinked.
“Zed?”
Still, my heart thundered in my chest. Ace had one tattoo, no more.
My breathing eased slightly.
Not real. Not this time.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I brought dinner,” he said coolly. “Wasn’t expecting to be mounted.”
I loosened the fist at his shirt.
Once, ice-blue eyes had been a reminder of Zed, but Ace had become so much larger than life, and now my mate was an echo of a monster, instead.
“...I want to be more to you than they ever were…”
I shook the whisper away, looking around. There was a plated sandwich on the floor by the door, along with a bottle of water.
“Why were you… down here?” He could have just dropped the plate off and left. Instead, he’d been crouched at my side.
“You were whining like a wounded puppy. It was pitiful to watch.”
“I’m fine,” I lied.
He raised an eyebrow. “Do you plan on dismounting?”
“We have to talk.”
“Is that what this is?”
I swallowed, pushing back off him and staggering to my feet, grabbing my wrist with my other hand so he didn’t see the lingering tremors from the nightmare. I looked at the door, but it was shut. Was it locked from the inside? Did I dare try? I glanced back to Zed, and a faint smirk curved his lips as I scanned him.
“Checking me out?”
“Looking for keys,” I told him flatly. “You know, people are going to start asking after me.”
“I got into your phone and let slip to…” He frowned. “…Leisha, I think? That you eloped.”
I sneered. “She won’t believe that.”
“You kindly told the doorman that you scent matched us. I think we’ll get away with it. Love can do funny things to Omegas and all that.” He waved a hand.
I glared at him, wondering how much of it Leisha would buy. She knew I wasn’t the eloping type. But he was right about the scent match changing things.
“Plus,” he added. “Since you nearly got Kyan killed getting Lucy, your cat is gone. I’m sure that made you look much more committed.”
I scowled, but honestly, it was good. I didn’t want anyone asking after me.
“Is she doing okay?” I asked. She was my comfort, always there when I woke to my infinite visions of Ace, sweating and terrified that he was truly here. Lucy would curl up on my chest and let me hug her, the faint vibrations of her purr settling me.
Zed shrugged. “She’s obsessed with me.”
I narrowed my eyes, but didn’t reply. I would be having stern words with Lucy if he was telling the truth. She was not allowed to bond with them.
“How did you convince Knight you were going into heat?” he asked. “He said it really felt like you were.”
“Uh…” I blinked at him like he was stupid. “How do you think?” All I’d really needed was to make him think I was aroused, and my panic had done the rest.
He just stared at me blankly for a moment before his eyebrows shot up.
I gave him a fake smile. “Five times, and if you want all the details, I find it easy to get off to thoughts about?—”
“That’s fine, Sweetheart.” His voice was cold as he got to his feet. “I really don’t care.”
I found that a little hard to believe, not missing the subtle dilation of his pupils.
Still, he’d saved me from a lie, since there was no way I’d admit to a living soul it had been easy to bring myself to climax that many times just at the very recent memory of him closing cuffs around my wrists and pinning me to the wall.
The reality had been horrifying, but in hindsight… Well, who was I to waste a good turn on?
“Kyan’s still looking into the Brotherhood situation,” he was saying. “It would be a lot easier if you told us why they’re after you. Could speed things up, get you out of here quicker.”
I didn’t answer him, trying to control the bitterness on my face as my mood instantly soured.
“No?” he asked, when I didn’t reply, and I could see a flicker of irritation. “Then we won’t bother keeping you updated.”
“So, what?” I asked. “You’ll just keep me in here forever, like a fucking—?” I cut off, unable to find the words.
“Pet?” Zed supplied, folding his arms and resting a shoulder against the wall as he peered down at me. “Our little Omega pet.” There was malice twinkling in those ice blue eyes. “Has a ring to it.”
“For how long?” I asked, mouth dry, thinking back to my nightmares. How many more of those did I have in me before I went mad? I needed outlets. “I can’t just stay in here.”
He picked at a nail. “My brother might have spoiled you, but that title you used to trample my pack holds no weight around here.” He looked up from his nails for half a moment with a curious gaze. “Quite the opposite.”
I took a breath, steadying myself at the mention of Ace. I’d reacted last night, but I couldn’t afford to again. I couldn’t afford to draw any particular attention to Ace at all. Yet, it was hard to shake the distinct impression that, despite his apparent interest in his nail, the mention of Ace was no accident.
He was much too tense for someone acting so casually.
“My title has nothing to do with it,” I forced myself to say. “You can’t keep me in this room. Not unless you intend to splash out on some expensive drugs.”
Finally, he reacted, eyes jumping to me. There was a long pause, and he looked stiff. “When’s your heat due? Your real heat.”
“A month, but trapping me in a tiny room with nothing to do isn’t exactly asking for regular behaviour.”
That was a slight lie. It was a bit less, but I planned on being far from here before two weeks was up.
And I wasn’t wrong; stress, fear, a complete lack of outlets—this heat was barrelling toward me at high speed.
“What do you usually do?” Zed asked, cocking his head and tensing like he was bracing for the answer. “We don’t have heat auctions set up?—”
“Sedation,” I said before he could make a joke of it. It was getting increasingly hard to keep the panic out of my voice.
“Partial, or the numbing?—”
“Total.” I knew some Omegas used suppressants, but my hormones weren’t stable enough, having been pushed to the edge one too many times.
His eyebrows rose. “That’s some good coverage, even for a club like that.”
I stared at him.
I didn’t have coverage like that. Instead, over a third of my income went to covering the cost of complete sedation every three months—more frequently if I was stressed.
But it was the only way I felt comfortable riding out my heats. The High Roller had ways to set them up safely, to vet the Alphas involved, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t about the safety. I was never more vulnerable than when I was in heat. I couldn’t ensure I wouldn’t lose myself entirely, and reveal my scars to Alphas I didn’t know—not well, anyway. Not enough.
There was no enough, no amount of trust I would ever feel with an Alpha, that would make me comfortable letting them see what was carved on my back. Least of all the one staring at me now, with his messy sweep of silver hair and eyes as blue as his brother’s.
No.
It was sedation, or agony.
At the High Roller, Jade would check on me when I was on the heat drugs. I would be passed out, or almost entirely out of it, if I did wake. Even then, I was more vulnerable in that state than I’d ever dare be outside the care of the High Roller.
I gritted my teeth, not showing any tears to Zed.
I was never going to see them again.
Shoving the thought away, I scrambled for a solution. This was bad timing. Even if I escaped them, I couldn’t access my bank. Ace might be watching. The rest of my money was hidden back in my room, which might be being watched. And if, by some miracle, I managed to escape here and get hold of the drugs, what then?
Find a safe hole to crawl into and pray no side effects hit—ones Jade would treat if they came up—heat fever or SRS were no joke. Fever I might be able to ride out, but unmanaged Sedation Rejection Syndrome could kill me if I was more than halfway through the heat. Those sorts of things were rare, though. Were they rare enough that I could risk it once?
“They might be tracking you,” Zed said at last into the tense silence. “But I can get Kyan to put an insurance claim through without tripping any?—”
“Can he get my money from my bank?” I asked.
“Not easily, not if they are watching. Insurance will be safer?—”
“There is no insurance.” I winced when the words tumbled out.
I desperately ran my fingers through my hair, then realised how crazy it made me look. He narrowed his eyes, and I hated the million calculations that flashed across his expression as he digested that.
Another silence stretched, and I felt more vulnerable than I ever had—like he was seeing through everything and looking right at who I really was. The broken, lonely, terrified Omega who’d stumbled from Ace’s mansion all those years ago, still feeling the aftershocks of what my body had suffered in that place.
“We’ll get the meds,” he said.
I frowned at him, unsure if I was relieved or pissed that he was offering to bail me out. But there was one thing that made me pause, that made it impossible for me to take my gaze from him. First, it had been Knight, now Zed; the truth was unavoidable.
My mates wouldn’t abuse my heat.
I took a breath, finally forcing out a bitter laugh so I wouldn’t burst into tears. The universe played some twisted jokes, sometimes. “You parked your beat-up old truck in murder-alley, I don’t think?—”
“Parking is a matter of principle,” he snapped. “We can afford the fucking meds.” He dropped his folded arms and took a step back to the door. “Eat and get dressed. I’ll be back.”
“Back?”
“You said you needed to get out of this room.”
“What does that mean?”
He just gave me a cold smile, before he slammed the door behind him.