Chapter 17 #2
Immediately, I feel hot tingles begin to prick at the back of my head that quickly turn to what feels like open flames.
It’s only half a minute, but it feels like a very long year.
I let my cheek press into the cool dirt and grass and focus on deep breaths so I don’t pass out and cut off his magic supply.
Finally, the horrid heat stops, and the burning begins to cool.
I keep my eyes closed for a long moment as I let the tingling fade, and I realize how hard I’ve been gripping Ikar’s hands.
He doesn’t say a word, though I’m sure his fingers are numb by now.
“Done.” Darvy reaches to feel along my neck again. “Are you sure your neck is okay?”
“Never better, thank you,” I practically shout as I sit up faster than I should have, leaving my head spinning and taking both men off guard while putting my face very near Ikar’s. His eyes meet mine, only a mere breath away.
Darvy chuckles. “Ok, it looks like Rhosse might need me, I’ll let you know if I need lucent.”
I nod slowly, hearing him walk away, but my thoughts are elsewhere as I look into Ikar’s eyes and try to keep my focus off his tempting lips. I can’t help but think that if I were to lean forward just a bit, and he were to meet me halfway—
Ikar’s thumb brushes along my jaw ever so softly as he lowers his voice, and his eyes darken. “Don’t ever do that again.” His tone is commanding and deep, and I feel inclined to obey just from the sound of it.
But I frown, genuinely confused. “Do what?”
“Sacrifice your life for mine.” If possible, his eyes darken even more, and my mouth goes dry.
“We’re supposed to be a team,” I argue.
“I didn’t contract you to fight. I contracted you to give us lucent,” he nearly growls.
I could never let him die, but I can’t say that because although the thumb trailing across my jaw is soft as he speaks, I can see frustration in the depths of his blue eyes.
He stands and offers a hand to help me up, and I take it, pleased to find that he doesn’t step back when I come to standing so near that my nose nearly touches his armor. With difficulty, I rein in my feelings because I have something I need to say.
I cringe as I imagine further disappointment in his blue eyes as I apologize for my erratic lucent… the job I was hired for and practically failed. I don’t want to be the one that puts it there, but before I can stop myself, I’m bumbling an apology.
“I’m really sorry. I should have told you that I’d never trained for this. I’m underqualified and—”
“Vera.”
I continue, unwilling to stop. “I guess I thought it was more like being a hunter assistant, you know? But I realize now that this is a whole different situation… I don’t want to kill you guys—”
“Vera.” He says it loudly this time, and I look at him. “Stop.”
I press my lips together and nod once, firmly.
He still holds one of my hands in his, and it feels like he’s my criminal again, that comfortable sort of companionship we had when it was just he and I.
For a moment, I allow myself to appreciate his hand engulfing mine.
I can feel the calluses and rough skin that come with years of hard work and regular weapon handling.
I look down and take in his long strong fingers twined with mine. Such a simple thing eases my fears, instantly makes me feel safe. I swallow carefully.
He ducks his head so he can catch my eyes, forcing me to meet his gaze.
“You only started true training with your sword a couple weeks ago, and we’ll keep working on it for your own protection.
But like I already said, I hired you for lucent.
” Then I see a gleam in his eye that looks a lot like admiration.
“I haven’t seen lucent so powerful in… I can’t remember how long.
Maybe ever.” He looks at me curiously, and I try to appear extra innocent, which isn’t difficult with how surprised I am at the turn the conversation has taken. Wide eyes, small smile, slow blinks.
“What’s your secret?”
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “My secret?”
Oh, if he only knew what he asked.
“To pulling so much lucent,” he says. “You just provided three men enough lucent to power enchanted weapons for a prolonged amount of time.” With a slight frown he mutters, “I don’t know if Nadiette can even do that anymore, and in the Lucent Mountains, no less.”
I lift one shoulder in a casual shrug. “It’s a gift.”
I smile weakly, kicking myself for possibly offering too much lucent now.
“Well, it’s more than I ever expected. I’m glad you’re with us... But if something happened to you…”
I can’t make myself meet his eyes, so I look at our twined hands instead.
He sighs. “Just don’t do it again.”
“I can’t promise I won’t,” I argue softly.
“How did I know you’d say that?” He chuckles.
“I’ll just have to do better to ensure you don’t have to.
” Then he adds, his voice firm. “And we’ll be training every night.
You can practice sharing lucent with the three of us until it feels more normal.
If you don’t feel comfortable fighting, that’s okay; we just need to adjust our technique.
Darvy, Rhosse, and I have fought side by side for years, so it comes naturally. It’ll get better, I promise.”
I nod and look into his eyes. For a moment I feel the warm tension build between us, and wonder if another kiss might—
He pulls his eyes from mine as he plucks a leaf from my hair. I immediately bring a hand up to feel it and cringe as my fingers run over an assortment of small twigs, pine needles, pieces of dried leaves, and a bit of blood. Lovely.
Ikar smirks as I drop my hand. There’s nothing to help it right now. Definitely no kiss.
“We’ll be able to clean up once we find the nymphs, I’m sure.” He eyes my hair once more, grinning a little wider now as his thumb caresses my hand distractingly. Then he pulls his fingers from mine and turns toward Darvy and Rhosse, leaving my hand uncomfortably cold and lonely.