Chapter 49 #2
He raises his hands into the air, and the gloam rises with them, first beginning to swirl and then grow.
My new cloak whips around me, and my hair flies wildly about my head, so much so that I reach up to clasp Rupi against my neck so she’s not swept away in the gusts.
But I can’t take my eyes off the growing black form before us.
Rupi has been silent since Renton joined us, as if she instinctively knows she should be, but I feel her tremble beneath my hand where she has stayed huddled for the entirety of this ghastly experience.
The swirling wind continues for a long time, so long that the chill gusts around me are turning my cheeks and ears red and leaving my skin chapped. Shrieks and roars sound from within the tornado, and dread curls in my chest.
Finally the gusts die down, and the result stands before us, pawing at the ground on pudgy, muscular legs.
It’s enormous. Three horns line the top of its head, and two sprout from its flatish snout.
It stands taller than the man that created it, and is as long as three horses combined…
if you include the tail that sparkles with razor-sharp spines.
I’m disgusted imagining Ikar’s soldiers fighting against this army and its horrifying monsters. Renton has an unfair advantage. But isn’t that why Lucentia gifted magic to our people? We’ve ruined that—mistakes made on all sides. This dark army surrounding me has me sailing on an ocean of despair.
I momentarily forget to mask my emotion, and Renton takes notice.
“Too much, too soon?” I ignore the concern in his eyes. “You know that gloam can create beauty as well as monsters, right?”
I keep my posture stiff and straight. “I’m not sure I believe you.”
He frowns. “Though you are ungrateful, I believe it will help you become more willing when you are reminded what awaits you as my queen.”
He wraps my arm beneath his so that my hand rests on his forearm again, and we walk into the forest nearby, away from the noise. He keeps me close, and I’m tired of the forced proximity, but when I attempt to pull my arm from his, he clasps his hand over mine and squeezes my arm against his side.
He tugs me along, deeper into the forest. Through trees, shrubs, and long grass, and into deep shadows.
He finally stops when the roars become distant, and the clang of swords and weapons is slight.
Then, without warning, gloam begins to spin around us.
For a moment I panic. Is he trying to turn me into a creature of darkness?
I squeeze my eyes shut at the roar of the shadows around me, but then, just as suddenly, it’s calm.
I open my eyes and find a kingdom spread before me.
Somehow, he created this… picture that feels real.
I see Moneyre, but the cream stone of the high castle is now a moody, deep gray, the black roofs of the turrets gleam, and gloam is in everything.
Somehow, though, it’s beautiful. Misty and shadowy, yes, but in a way that makes my eyes wide with wonder.
This new kingdom spans out before me as if I stand at the top of the world.
I’m surprised to see that none of it is dead and decaying like it is now; it looks healthy, in the darkest of ways.
I want to hate it. I want it to look dreary and sick and wicked.
Renton pats my hand on his sleeve, and I realize I’m practically clawing him.
“It affects me as well, my queen.” His pat turns to a thumb caressing my skin.
I begin to feel the uncomfortable nudge that comes from building tension.
It feels as if he expects something. A kiss?
I immediately release his jacket from my clutches and pull my hand from his arm.
He lets me this time—he’s safe to assume that I won’t be running away into the depths of his beautiful nightmare. At least, for now.
“All this will be yours…” He whispers near my ear as we look over his future kingdom together.
I freeze. Even my heartbeat seems to slow as I truthfully consider his words for a moment.
The hurt and battered Black Tulip within me, marked with a flower that is hated, that has been isolated and lectured and constantly hiding, blooms a little as I think of how it would be to embrace this future with the darkly handsome man beside me.
I see myself in his arms, wearing an evening gown that matches the black of deep shadows—never white clothing again.
My hair intricately braided and curled and pinned up to reveal the mark that has pled for fresh air for years.
It’s all darkly romantic, heady, and freeing. Freedom.
I blink and a single tear tracks down my cheek, leaving a cool streak in its wake.
It reminds me that I was never made for this world.
My cool magic has felt the barest touch of warmth, and it changed me forever.
Ikar. I fear, now that he’s dead, that I’ll be destined to live a life of lukewarm, or even worse, frozen heartache… and it feels as if it’s all my fault.
Rupi nudges my neck with her small head, reminding me she’s there, and though I want to lean into her affection, I stay still.
Renton’s finger gently brushes the chill tear away.
He’s offering me all I’ve ever dreamed of.
If he’d found me two months ago, I admit it would have been more difficult to say no.
A woman who doesn’t know warmth wouldn’t have been so hard to convince.
Two months ago, I didn’t know the high king of Moneyre personally.
I didn’t know he was honorable and good and worthy.
I didn’t know my magic could call to another’s that way.
If I was going to bridge with anyone, it would have been Ikar.
The vision around us fades until the forest materializes around us once again. I follow Renton somberly back through the camp, never more grateful for Rupi and her small, steady presence.