Chapter 64
Vera
Iwake from the icy darkness I never wanted to experience again, shivering at the tingles that run through my veins as my blood reheats.
I open my eyes to find myself in what I can only describe as a room fit for a royal.
I lie there, staring at the ceiling and the strong, wide beams that run across it, while the memories of what brought me here begin to unfurl.
I remember the battle, and I remember with horror the way Ikar, Rhosse, and Darvy were knocked out… but I don’t remember getting here. Here, on a bed so large I could probably roll across its expanse five times.
I sit up and swing my legs over the edge, but it’s so tall my feet dangle in the air.
I face lofty windows, framed with drapes so long they leave elegant puddles on the expensive rug that spans the entire room.
My eyes drift to an exquisitely crafted table with an enormous mirror and an array of feminine jars and bottles in neat rows on its surface.
It’s all very light and bright, and dread brews as I consider where I might be.
I scootch off the large bed, the thump of my boots on the ground muted by the thick rug, and push aside a heavy drape to peek out one of the large windows that overlooks… the south side of Moneyre. My guess was correct. Ikar’s castle.
My breath catches. Is it possible that Ikar, Darvy, and Rhosse are here too? And where is Rupi?
It’s then I notice a second door in the room, and I swallow tightly.
Is this… the queen’s chamber? I stare at it for a moment.
In the next day or two, I’ll be married to one of two kings.
My heart and soul yearn for Ikar. I can’t bear to think what will happen if it’s Renton—to see that door opening with his face behind it.
I find my breath grows shallow at the sickening thought.
I’d rather try to escape and die than marry a man who will leave me frozen and dark while he ruins my kingdom and my people.
The suns are setting, the dwindling light heading toward darkness.
It’s disconcerting to realize I have no idea what day it is because I don’t know how long I was in that frozen, sleeping state.
But even as my room darkens, I resist lighting the candles or stoking the embers in the fire, and I’m certainly not climbing back on that bed.
I’m not ready to sleep again. My body thrums with energy—the type that leads to impulsive and reckless decisions. I’ve got to find a way out of here.
I glance at the door to check for gloam, but there’s none. I’d bet the sword Ikar gave me it’s locked. What a way to begin a marriage. I blow a strand of loose hair out of my face and check the door anyway. The knob doesn’t move.
I curse even though I’m not surprised.
I turn to head toward the other door, dreading what I risk finding behind it, but I stop when I hear a familiar voice in the hall. It’s muffled, but I would recognize it anywhere.
Two firm knocks sound.
I approach the closed door. “Tatania?” I whisper.
My response appears to be permission enough to open it for the guards.
It swings open, and I rush forward. “Tatania!” I hug her tightly with relief. “You’re alive!” I step back, my words rushing out. “I’m so sorry I didn’t come back for you—”
She shushes me as she glances over her shoulder at the door as if reminding me there’s a guard listening as she steps further into my room.
She closes the door behind her. “I’ve come to get you out.
It’s about time you finally woke. This is the third time I’ve come to check; the guards wouldn’t let me in without you awake. ”
I frown at the scolding in her voice. How was I to know? Not my fault Renton froze me. Something feels off. But my entire life is off right now, so I squash the thought.
“Are any other Tulips here?” I ask.
“No. Just you and I. They’re all safe. We must go now.” She grabs my hand. “There’s no time for questions. You should have stayed hidden.” Her voice is tinged with a mix of chastisement and sorrow.
I sputter a bit. “I didn’t even have time to hide,” I whisper in an attempt to defend myself.
She throws a censuring look over her shoulder, and I press my lips together as she pulls me out the door and past the guard who says nothing as he watches us go.
Has she gained so much trust in this short time?
I tuck my questions away; I’ll have time aplenty to learn about her clandestine methods after we’re away.
Then another thought, one I can’t ignore, has me pulling back on her hand as soon as we’re out of sight.
“I need to find the tulip first,” I whisper.
“There’s no time.” She shakes her head, growing more agitated and impatient than I’ve ever seen her. “Even if there was, there’s no chance of that when Renton keeps it with him at all times.”
I let her pull me forward again, deciding it doesn’t matter now—especially if both of us are escaping this time.
I just need to get out so I can figure out how to fix this mess.
If I have to trek all the way back to the Field of Tulips to get another, I’ll do it.
I’m not sure how she plans to get us both out of here, but I don’t ask; I simply follow.
She had a plan last time and it worked, didn’t it?
My confidence grows as we leave the hall behind and run down several flights of stairs.
Hope burgeons as we enter the weapons area and not one of the soldiers or servants we see on our way stops us.
What must Tatania have sacrificed to gain this sort of status with Renton?
I remind myself that with her beauty and natural air of authority, it makes sense that Tatania would excel at subterfuge.
I temper the concern again—I must focus.
Here, in the weapons area, we’re alone. We sneak past walls filled with all varieties of weapons.
I’m tempted to snatch one, but most of them are obviously crafted for warriors, if their size alone is any indication.
I eye them closely for one that’s a bit smaller and spot a row of daggers and a selection of short swords nearby.
Perfect. I stop only long enough to snatch one off the wall.
At the same time, I hear the ring of a sword behind me.
Panic races through my veins until I remember Tatania is here. She’ll be able to talk us out of this.
I spin around, prepared to face whatever gloam soldier has caught me, but it’s only her. My shoulders sag in relief. It appears she had the same idea I did—better to escape with a weapon than without.
I laugh sharply. “The stress is getting to me. I thou—”
She lunges.
“What?!” I yelp as I dodge to the side. “Tatania!”
“All he ever talks about…” She stabs again. “…is you.”
“Me?” I jump to the side again, wishing I’d grabbed an actual sword instead of a dagger.
“He knows I’m as powerful as you, and still he wants an ill-mannered, filthy urchin,” she spits.
Ok, that hurts a little, but I don’t have time to let it sink in.
With every dodge of her swings, I’ve made it close enough to snatch one of the short swords.
All the practice Ikar and Rhosse forced on me suddenly becomes worth it as our blades meet with a ring—loud in the enclosed room.
The vibrations run up my arms. Where did Tatania learn to use a sword?
“If I kill you, he’ll have no choice but to choose me,” she grinds out as she prepares to swing again.
“I think we can come up with a better solution than that,” I offer, panting. “I don’t want him.”
And I don’t want to kill the woman who I always trusted to keep me safe.
She roars in the most unladylike way I’ve ever seen as she swings again; it would be comical if the blade wasn’t coming toward me. With both hands on the hilt, I bring mine up to block hers, but I’m pushed back into the wall of weapons with the force of it.
I try to get past the crazed look in her eyes, help her see sense. This isn’t what she really wants, is it?
“Look. I’m in love with someone else. Help me get away, and Renton will have to choose you!”
Sweat rolls between the crease of my shoulder blades as she leans her weight against the swords, pressing them closer to me.
I know exactly what I should do next—my training thrums in my muscles, but I resist. Tatania has never said anything like this.
She’s just traumatized; she can’t really feel this way.
“Please,” I gasp, struggling to keep hold with my sweaty grip.
But her eyes are cold and hard, unreachable. As determined as a bantha stalking its prey. In that moment, I realize she means it. She won’t stop. It’s her or me, and if it’s me, I’m not going out begging for my life.
“I tried asking nicely, Avenara. I asked you to hide so Renton couldn’t find you, and I wouldn’t have to kill you. Then I was patient enough to help you escape after he caught you. But you constantly rebel. You’re caught again, and now you’ll die because of it. Renton is mine.”
I risk ducking and pushing my sword up simultaneously, causing Tatania’s blade to slip off mine.
It sends her crashing into the weapons behind me as I scuttle away and regroup.
I gasp when she turns around. A gnarly gash is openly bleeding, stretching from her cheekbone through her once-perfect lips.
If eyes could be fire, that’s what hers would be.
“Your name wasn’t on that list.” Pieces begin to come together.
“Of course not. I’m the one who created it.” The blood is flowing in rivulets down her pale cheek and dripping onto her blouse. It’s making me sort of queasy.
She doesn’t seem to notice it, her eyes full of indescribable hate. “What better way to encourage the rest of you to hide? Or perhaps be caught and killed by a mercenary so I didn’t have to do it? I didn’t intend to kill any of you. You just insist on continually being difficult.”
Rage builds in my veins. “I got to know Renton pretty well in his gloam camp.” Her eyes burn brighter in a way I didn’t know possible. “And while I’ll do everything to stop him, I think he wants a woman with loyalty, and you’ll never have that.”
Her lips turn in a bloody sneer as she swings again.
I lived with a hollow belly, dirt-poor and half-starved, taking dangerous jobs because she claimed we needed to be protected and pay exorbitant amounts of money for worthless bracelets. Now she wants to murder me? Not happening.
I block her swings with relative ease. My breath is speeding up with the effort, but not as bad as hers.
But I have to know one last thing. “Tell me, were the dues really for the charmer?”
She grins wickedly. “Of course. I’m not heartless. I gave the charmer half.” Her tone is cocky, and it distracts her enough that I’m able to gather my strength.
I use our crossed blades to shove her sword back with a war cry, and don’t let myself think as I switch the angle of my weapon and push the blade through her.
She stumbles back before she falls to the ground in a heap, appearing surprised that I actually did it. I look down at her with growing horror, but I see none of the love I imagined in her eyes all these years. Even as she dies, she stares at me with hatred. A moment later, her breath stops.
I killed Tatania.
Sorrow tears a gaping hole in my heart as I stare at her in shock. The woman I thought of as a sort of mother… one I trusted all these years… she wanted Renton? This is all too much at once.
My hands begin to tingle, and the sword drops from my hand with a loud clatter as my hands turn clammy and cold. I clutch my stomach as I feel its contents begin to rebel and a single horrified sob that doesn’t sound like my own rips from my throat.
I jump when I hear a deep chuckle to my right, near the entrance of the weapon room. I turn, slightly dizzy, to find Renton, one shoulder against the door frame in a relaxed manner, as though he watched simply for entertainment.
A pleased grin turns his lips. “I knew you had it in you.” He taps his temple. “Like I said, you’re stronger than the others.”
“You stood there and… watched?” My stomach still roils with revulsion over what I’ve done.
Amusement shines in his eyes. He lifts a hand, and I watch tendrils of black gloam swirl around his fingertips. “I wouldn’t have let her kill you.”
I’m not sure what he expects. Is he waiting for me to run into his arms bursting with gratitude that he stood here, ready, just in case? I’m surrounded by lunatics.
“Further proof you will make an excellent shadow queen,” he adds.
I think it’s meant to be a compliment, but I hate it.
I just killed the woman I’ve always trusted to keep me safe, second only to Mama Tina.
Tatania tried to murder me. How long has she hated me?
I feel oddly numb as Renton wraps an arm around my shoulders, and a wave of chill rushes over me while I stand amidst the gloam that swirls around him.
He leads me back toward the room I thought I’d escaped, and I listlessly allow him as my thoughts sluggishly churn.
He chats the entire way, reassuring me that the shock will pass, and I will be stronger for it.
He mentions something about how he hates to rush our wedding, but it must take place tomorrow, and that I must get some sleep.
It’s odd how normal he seems at times. I don’t say a word, but it doesn’t ruffle him—as usual.
We’ve quickly returned to our previous status, and as he tucks me into bed, I numbly accept that this is soon to be my life.