3. All That Work And What Did It Get Me?
3
All That Work And What Did It Get Me?
Aliza
T here was something heart-achingly nostalgic about watching Mum go through the ritual of making tea and coffee. Something comforting about her fluffy leopard print dressing gown and slippered feet. Like the living room, the kitchen was exactly as I remembered it, but the sight of my favourite mug struck me with a jolt. How could my little trinkets remain, when I, for all intents and purposes, was gone from this world? How had they outlived my mortal life?
As the coffee machine began to whir, I rotated on the spot, taking in the familiar, mundane sights that had somehow become precious enough that I wanted to scorch them into my memory for eternity. I drifted to the fridge, admiring the magnets we’d accumulated on various caravan holidays. Lyme Regis. Bridlington. Betws-y-coed. For the longest time, it had been my driving ambition to graduate, to earn enough money to take my parents abroad and add a slightly more exotic addition to both our magnet collection and our memories. Now, with the human world sapping my life force with every passing second, I would never get the chance .
As yet, I couldn’t feel the mysterious weakening that the human world inflicted on the fae. Maybe I was too new to this body, too familiar with mortality to recognise it, or maybe I was different. I’d been born human, after all, and this was my world. What if I didn’t suffer in the same way other fae did? What if I could stay? What if I could come back to my little life?
Mum’s slippers scuffed the tiles as she appeared at my side. She adjusted a magnet, straightening it. “Do you remember our holiday to Devon?”
“Was that the one where our beach ball drifted out to sea?” I’d only been a little girl at the time, and I’d sobbed as my spotty, yellow inflatable bobbed away on the waves, never to be seen again.
Mum chuckled. “That’s the one. You were inconsolable.”
“I think the trip to the sweet shop took my mind off things,” I said with a small smile.
Mum wrapped her arm around my waist. Unlike Dad and I, she was of distinctly average height. She laid her temple against my shoulder. “I can’t find the words to tell you how glad I am that you’re back. Even if it’s just for a few days. To know you’re not…”
My insides squirmed with guilt as I draped my arm around her. It wasn’t my fault. There was no way I could have made it back any sooner. My recent trip with Idris was proof enough. I never would have found my way to the rift without the prince. Never would have survived the vampire nest, or the ambush. That knowledge did little to lessen my crushing sense of failure.
“I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through,” I whispered. To think I’d been tempted to stay for a few more weeks to help Anwir in his quest to rouse the people into rebellion. To save a realm, at the expense of my own family. “I’m sorry I can’t stay.”
Was that the truth? Idris had lingered alone in the living room while I helped Mum. Dad had been dispatched to the late-night supermarket, armed with an extensive list of all my favourite food and treats. As glad as I was to be home, as much as I dreaded leaving, could I honestly say I was sorry that I wouldn’t be saying goodbye to Idris? I’d done it once already, and it had been gut-wrenching. Since then, he’d saved me. He’d sacrificed his one-time gift of immortality to give me back my life. He’d created a bond between us that neither had wanted, but now couldn’t be broken, even by different worlds. I wasn’t sure exactly what that bond meant for me, only that Idris had insisted it was nothing, that we could ignore it. Was it the reason the thought of letting him go while I stayed here was intolerable, even though I knew it could never happen?
The coffee machine sputtered out, and Mum disentangled herself to remove my mug, and start the cycle again for Idris. She turned to face me, leaning against the counter.
“You’re sure it’s not drugs, love?”
My laughter filled the cramped kitchen. “I can see why you’d think that, but no. Everything I said was true. You saw the magic, Mum.”
Mum nodded, chewing her lip. “I saw something, I’ll say that.”
“And have you been taking drugs?”
“I most certainly have not!”
I grinned. “Well, then. You have your answer. I’m just sorry it took me so long to give it to you.”
“None of this is your fault, Aliza. I’m just glad you’re okay. I’ve spent weeks being told my daughter was dead. Anything is better than that. Anyway,” she dropped her voice to a whisper, “that Idris one is a bit of a dish isn’t he?”
“Mum!” I had no doubt that Idris had heard every word with his impeccable fae ears. I could only hope he hadn’t understood the meaning behind Mum’s phrasing.
“What?” she protested with a tone of innocence. “Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed, neither of us are blind. So, is he just a friend, or…”
“Yes, he’s just a friend, and he can hear everything you’re saying.”
With my own superior hearing, I picked up a distinct rumbling chuckle coming from the living room. My newly pointed ears began to heat, an unfortunate trait that had somehow transferred into my immortal body. He was just a friend. A friend who had kissed me in a way that almost made my knickers drop right then and there. As he’d shown no inclination to repeat the incident, the last thing I needed was Mum asking questions like that within earshot.
“Don’t be daft! I whispered!” Mum hissed, her cheeks reddening.
“Yeah, and he’s a fae. He’s got ears like a bat, and an ego that doesn’t need you massaging it.” I didn’t trouble myself to keep my voice down. What was the point?
Mum shrugged. “If I had a face like that, I’d have an ego too.”
“Isn’t it time to take the teabags out?”
Mum smirked before turning her attention to hers and Dad’s mugs, which had been refilled after their earlier tumble. Dad’s sported a new chip on the rim, courtesy of its collision with the floor. “Take Idris’ coffee through, love.”
She was as subtle as a brick. I narrowed my eyes, but I really was looking forward to my coffee. I took the mugs without protest and returned to the living room, to find an extremely smug Idris grinning from Dad’s chair. I hoped my ears had returned to their normal colour.
“What’s wrong with my ego?”
“A vanilla latte.” I thrust his cup at him, ignoring his question. “Enjoy.”
He sniffed tentatively at the fragrant steam. “I’ve never sampled human food or drink before.”
I sank down onto the sofa. “I’ve been dreaming of it ever since I washed up in that river.” The coffee was too hot, but I couldn’t wait another moment. I took a sip. It scorched, but god, it was good. My eyes drifted shut and I groaned in appreciation. When I opened them again, I found Idris watching me quizzically.
“What?”
“You still like it, after tasting our food?”
I tucked my legs under myself, nestling into the arm of the sofa. “You’re surprised by that?”
“Well, the humans who used to live in Neath often said that they could never go back to eating their own food.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That was billions of years ago.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m not that old, Aliza.”
“Yeah, you are. Trust me, times have changed. We don’t just eat grain and drink sewage anymore. We have ice cream now. And fajitas. Just wait.”
“What’s fajitas?”
“Drink your coffee.”
Idris eyed the foamy contents of his mug as though he suspected I’d poisoned it. Maybe I would next time. He lifted the mug to his lips, and I held my breath as he took a cautious sip. He blinked, and for a second, his face remained impassive, but then his brow scrunched into a grimace and he gave the tiniest of gags before placing his mug carefully on the side table.
My breath left me in a rush of laughter. “That bad, eh?”
“No,” he lied smoothly. “Just hot.”
“Yeah, whatever. Do you want tea instead?”
“I’ll pass.”
“You can’t just refuse to eat or drink while we’re here, you know. My mum won’t have it.”
Mum chose that moment to return, clutching two mugs in one hand and a plate of biscuits in the other. The posh ones, usually reserved for guests, had been brought out. “Would you like a biscuit, Idris?”
“Erm, excuse me? What about me, your beloved daughter?”
“Thank you, Trish.” Idris took a biscuit, the picture of politeness, but didn’t eat it.
“He’s a guest,” Mum said, offering me the plate. “Don’t be rude.”
Scowling, I ignored the fancy biscuits, taking as many chocolate digestives as I could fit in my hand and laying them carefully along my bare thigh. My trusty denim shorts had survived the fire only because I'd packed them in my bag, rather than wearing them. At least I had something of my own to wear, along with Idris’ too-long black shirt and the leather jacket given to me by a vampire on my first night in Neath.
“Anyway, Aliza. I have something for you.” Mum set down the mugs and crossed to the sideboard, where a collection of framed photos poked out above the crowd of sympathy cards. She picked up a frame with reverence and sat down beside me. When she spoke again, her voice softened. “The university gave us this.”
My hand shook as I took the frame, and when I spoke, my voice came out as a squeak. “I have a degree?”
Mum pressed her lips together, nodding. “We’re so proud of you Aliza. Congratulations.” She laid a kiss on my temple.
I’d done it. I’d actually done it. The proof was in my hands. I was a fully qualified veterinarian. My eyes flooded with tears, blurring my view of the certificate I’d poured my heart and soul into. I finally had a degree. A degree I could never use.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I blinked. “I didn’t think I’d get this.”
“You earned it.”
I nodded, unable to find any more words. This wasn’t how I’d imagined receiving the fruits of my hard work, but after spending the last few weeks believing it had all been for nothing, this scrap of paper meant more to me than I could say.
“Your dad and I went up on stage to collect it for you.”
I whipped my head to Mum. Her cheeks were as wet as mine. “You went to the ceremony?”
“Of course we did. We wouldn’t have missed it for the world. You’d worked so hard. Maybe you couldn’t collect it yourself, but you deserved to have somebody make that walk for you.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
She kissed me again before returning to her tea, leaving me to stare at my certificate a little longer. I should have started work by now. I should be living an ordinary life. Earning money and watching my bank balance grow. Helping animals and their owners, and saving for my future.
What would my new future hold?
I lifted my blurry eyes to Idris, only to find him still nursing his biscuit, watching me with a carefully smooth expression. A pang of regret crossed the space between us, his, not mine, yet I felt it as if it was my own. A stab to the gut, the twisting of a knife. I knew it had nothing to do with the coffee.
It wasn’t the first time he’d shared his emotions with me, and I wasn't entirely sure that it was intentional. It hadn’t seemed important before, when I’d intended to return to my old life and never lay eyes on him again, but now… I had a lot to learn about everything, including him. I didn’t need to learn the cause of his regret, however. He blamed himself for the loss of my mortal future, even though I’d told him in no uncertain terms that he had saved me. He believed that, in making me like him, he had stolen the life I’d wanted for myself.
He was wrong.
His uncle, King Maelgwyn, had stolen my life from me. Idris had given me a new one. A different one, true, but a life all the same. He had nothing to regret, unless…
What if he wished he hadn’t wasted his gift on me? Every fae had the one-time ability to make a mortal live forever, or near enough, like them. It was believed to be a gift, the opportunity to preserve life should a fae fall in love with a mortal. Idris had wasted his chance for such happiness, choosing instead to save me . How could he have anything but regret?
I lowered my eyes, busying myself with propping the frame carefully beside the sofa .
“Will you be okay in the spare room, Idris?” Mum asked. “It’s a bit cramped, and you’re so lovely and tall…”
“I can hardly remember the last time I slept in a bed, Trish. I’d be delighted to take the spare room.”
The thought of Idris crammed into a standard single bed brought a faint smirk to my face. “There’s a window at the end of the bed. You might have to dangle your feet out.”
The selfless thing to do might have been to offer him my room, and the double bed I usually occupied, but I’d been dreaming of coming home for so long that I couldn’t pass up my own bed. Besides, I didn’t think for a minute that he’d take me up on the offer. He’d been distinctly lacking in manners when I’d first met him, but now he was the very picture of a gentleman.
“She’s exaggerating,” Mum said, but she failed to keep the doubt from creeping into her voice as she eyed Idris’ long, powerful legs. I allowed my eyes to wander too, just for a second. He was built like a rugby player beneath his trousers. “She’s always been one for theatrics.”
Tearing my hungry eyes away from Idris’ thighs, I said, “I wonder who I get it from?”
Mum gave me a sly smile. “Definitely your dad. Anyway, I’ll go and make up the bed. Feel free to turn this drivel off.” She jerked her head at the TV, which was now droning on about sports.
“She’s right,” I said as Mum’s plodding footsteps faded up the stairs. “We’d better turn over before Dad gets back. Throw me the remote. That thing with all the numbers on,” I added as Idris raised a questioning eyebrow. “And you can eat that biscuit, you know, it won’t kill you. ”
Idris tossed the remote straight into my open hand without so much as lifting his eyes from the biscuit. His precision was beyond belief. Cocky, immortal bastard. He lifted the biscuit to his mouth and licked it.
My breath caught in my throat as I watched his glistening tongue slide over the morsel, leaving me wondering exactly how precise he could be. Memories of that tongue gliding over my own flooded back, warming every inch of me.
Clenching my thighs, I forced my attention back to the TV as the streaming channel flickered into life. I scrolled blindly. Since he’d rescued me, Idris hadn’t gone further than holding my hand, and even then it had only been when I needed him. He hadn’t so much as mentioned our heated kiss in the Fairy Glen, and after his comments about our newly forged bond meaning nothing, I’d followed his lead.
Even if I couldn’t shake the memory of his hand fisting my hair, forcing me to yield to him. Even if I wanted him to do it again, to go further.
“Delicious.” Idris’ mildly surprised voice jolted me back to the present, scattering my scandalous thoughts.
He’d finally eaten his biscuit. I grinned. “Told you so. Human food has come a long way.”
His gaze settled on my thigh, and the row of biscuits laid along it. His pupils expanded like a cat sighting its prey, all but obliterating the lovely green.
“Come and sit with me. I might share.” I patted the seat beside me. “Besides, my dad will want his chair back now he’s finished interrogating you. ”
After Mum had disappeared to the kitchen, Dad had grilled both Idris and I for more details of our story. It had felt a lot like a police interrogation as he tried to catch us in a lie. I wasn’t convinced he believed us, even now, but Mum had intervened, sending him out with his shopping list.
I willed my pulse not to skip and jump as Idris obeyed, sinking down onto the empty seat beside me. Maybe he was simply too big to be in such a cramped human house, or maybe he really did sit a little closer than he needed too. My breath dried up in my lungs as he plucked a biscuit from my lap.
“This is one of those… things you told me about.” He jerked his head accusingly at the TV, oblivious to me being a complete and utter pervert. “With the moving pictures.”
“A television, yeah. TV for short. I’m just trying to find something to watch. I’d ask your opinion, but you come from the olden days.”
“I’m considered young for my kind.”
I raised a sceptical eyebrow. If he, a centuries old being, was young, then what did that make me?