39. Kidnapped, Again
39
Kidnapped, Again
Aliza
I wasn’t sure if hours or days had passed since my talk with my mum. The fog in my brain made everything blend into one long string of grey. All I knew was that I’d forced down most of the tea Mum kept delivering in an effort to keep her off my back. Somewhere, deep down, I knew she was right, but the thought of returning to Neath made me want to bury my face in my pillow, as did the effort it would require to make it back. If I couldn’t walk down the stairs, how could I be expected to manage the trek to the Fairy Glen? And even if I did, what then? Would I just crawl across the rift and collapse in the vampire lair for a mega nap? Something told me those starved bloodsuckers wouldn’t turn down an unconscious meal, even if my blood wasn’t as delicious now I’d been turned fae.
The truth was, I couldn’t make it back to Neath even if I wanted to, but I didn’t care, because I wasn’t convinced I did want to.
Still, the tea had perked me up slightly, which was enough to appease Mum for now.
I’d just finished my twelve-billionth cup when a knock sounded at the door.
“Mum,” I groaned. “My bladder’s going to rupture if you carry on. ”
The door creaked open, dragging on the carpet as it always did, but it wasn’t Mum who stood on the threshold clutching two steaming mugs.
It was Idris.
This had to be one of the many dreams I’d had of him. He filled the entire doorway, looking faintly ridiculous and extremely guilty.
“Hi,” he said, his voice soft.
The word he’d learnt from me. The sound of it on his lying lips made me wish I had the energy to leap from my bed and drop-kick him over the bannister. Instead, I could do nothing but glare as he slunk into the room, pushing the door shut with his foot. I didn’t want him here. This was my space. My bed. He’d shared it once, pretending to care as I sobbed my heart out, but as soon as I’d shared his bed, he’d kicked me to the kerb.
Alone together, he hovered at the end of my bed, his eyes flickering over me. “You’re unwell.”
Rolling my dry eyes made my head hurt, but I did it anyway.
He picked his way to my bedside table, scanning the clutter of empty mugs and untouched cereal bars. I didn’t bother to make space for the fresh drinks, so Idris placed them carefully on the floor. Finally, he sank onto the bed at my side, closer than he had any right to. It took all my strength to shuffle away.
“Are you not going to speak to me?”
My silence should be answer enough.
“Set me on fire?”
My brow lowered. Tempting, but there was no magic left in my body. If only he’d shown up sooner.
He fixed me with a solemn stare. “You know you can’t stay here. ”
“This is my home.” Even I was surprised at the rasp of my voice. Maybe it had been days since Mum’s talk.
“You’re dying, Aliza.” He spoke like he was commenting on the weather.
“I’m human. It’s different for me.”
“You’re not a human anymore. You know this. What are you thinking?”
He had no right to know anything about me. I lapsed into silence again.
Idris sighed. “This is my fault.”
No shit.
“Your mother said she tried to convince you to return.”
“Traitor,” I hissed, causing the corner of Idris’ mouth to curl.
“She’s worried about you. As am I.”
I summoned a drop of venom as I rasped, “Don’t waste your breath.”
“I’m not. I meant what I said to you that night.”
“Which part? The bit where you dumped me?”
“The part where I told you that I love you.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember. That came just before you dumped me. It must have been driven from my mind.” I averted my eyes. I didn’t want to hear his painful lies or see his stupid face.
“Aliza, please. It’s the truth. I don’t want you to kill yourself.”
My bark of laughter came out weaker than I would have liked. “Get over yourself. That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Then… what are you doing? ”
“Believe it or not, I didn’t come here on purpose. It was the magic. I was just thinking about how much I hated your world and everyone in it,”—he winced slightly at my words—“and then poof, here I was.”
“You know the way back,” he said with a faint note of accusation. “You know what will happen if you stay here.”
“It’s like you said, I’m sick. Do I look like I have the energy to go hiking or to fight off a plague of vampires?”
He narrowed his eyes, still beautiful even though he was a using piece of shit. I hated that, hated that I still found him disgustingly attractive.
“Then you’ll come back with me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“But you said—”
“Let me be clear. You’re only in this room because my mum is a sucker for a pretty face, and she’s worried. There is no other circumstance on earth in which I’d be sat here tolerating you. I am not going anywhere with you.”
“Tolerating me? Is this what we’re reduced to?”
Was he for real? I raised my eyebrows, my mouth falling open slightly. “What did you expect?”
He averted his eyes, staring anywhere but at me. Apparently, the ceiling was particularly interesting. His jaw tightened as he stared up, the muscles flexing. Was I supposed to feel sorry for him? Annoyingly, I did. My hand twitched, itching to reach out and comfort him. Instead, I clenched my fist weakly in the sheets and forced myself to focus on the brittle spike of spite that came with the knowledge that he was suffering too .
I frowned. If he was suffering, then that must mean he did love me. And if he loved me, then he hadn’t used me at all.
No. No, he’d got what he wanted and ended things the very next day. It was the definition of using. He was, as they said in period dramas, a rake.
Or maybe, just maybe, he’d told the truth about not wanting to stand in my way. Maybe he did love me, but not as much as he loved his freedom. The freedom that he’d chosen over me.
Eventually, Idris looked back at me with overly bright eyes. “Please come home. Don’t make me live without you.”
“This is the only home I’ve ever had.”
“You’ll die if you stay here, Aliza.”
“I’d rather die somewhere I’m loved than live where I’m not.”
Idris lunged so suddenly that I caught only a blur of darkness. He seized my hand, engulfing it in both of his. “You are loved! I love you. You don’t have to feel the same way, but you know it’s true.” One of his hands abandoned mine and drifted to his body, where he pressed it into his sternum, as though there was a pain there he might ease. “And you know…”
His face paled slightly, his eyes widening, but my gaze dropped to his hand, to the location he’d placed it. The very same place where my body hurt. As though there was something connecting us, linking us together. Because there was. There was an unbreakable bond. He’d created it the day he brought me back to this cursed life.
I looked back at him. “I know it means nothing. You said so yourself.”
Confusion clouded his eyes. “What? ”
“The bond. You said it doesn’t mean anything, the day you brought me back.”
He barely moved his lips as he whispered, “You feel it too?”
I clenched my jaw, fighting the compulsion to answer honestly. When I maintained my stony silence, he sighed, and I knew I was testing his patience. To my dismay, my lips twitched, threatening a smile. I pressed them together to prevent it.
Idris skewered me with a piercing glare. “Look. I understand. You have no interest in being anywhere near me. I won’t pretend to like it, but it won’t deter me. I will not leave you here to die. I’m taking you back to Neath, and once we’re there you can go as far from me as your legs will carry you, if that’s what pleases you. You can be as stubborn as you like, as long as you’re alive.”
I twisted my hand, trying to extract it from his. He tightened his grip, glaring at me, but eventually allowed me to wiggle free. Crossing my arms, I summoned the last dregs of my energy, willing disdain into my eyes as I stared back. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“You are.”
“Make me.”
He glowered, his eyes glittering like the green aura of a cartoon villain. “ Fine .”
Idris leapt to his feet, tearing my duvet away, exposing my rumpled sleep tee.
“Hey!”
My weakened arms flailed, swatting uselessly at him as he dropped his head to my waist and straightened, throwing me over his shoulder.
“Put. Me. Down.” My hair swayed in rat’s tails around my face, obliterating my view .
“Watch your head,” was the only response I got, along with the tightening of his hand on the back of my thighs.
I glimpsed the thin strip of metal separating the bedroom and landing carpets, and then the stairs as we descended.
“I swear to god, Idris, if you even think of kidnapping me…”
He ignored me completely, carrying me into the living room. “Thank you for having me, Trish, John. I’ll take it from here.”
“Mum!” I shrieked. “Mum, tell him to put me down!”
Someone gathered my hair, clearing my vision, and then Mum crouched below me. “Aliza, love, this is for the best. You’re not a bit well.”
“Mum!” Was there anyone left I could trust?
“Don’t be daft, Aliza,” Dad interjected gruffly. “If you think we’ll stand back and watch you waste away, you’re mistaken.”
“So you’re just going to let him take me?”
“Well, you won’t go under your own steam, will you?”
“Don’t worry,” Idris tossed over his shoulder. “She’ll recover quickly once she’s back in Neath. She can visit again when she’s strong enough.”
“Idris! Put me down right now!”
“No. I’ll be back in an hour or so for her bags.”
“What bags? I don’t need bags. Mum, tell him!”
“He told us about the fire, love. You lost all your things, so we’re going to pack some more.”
“This is a conspiracy! It’s assault!”
“Say goodbye to your parents. We’re going in three…”
“If you let him take me, I swear—”
“Two. ”
“Bye, love. We’ll see you soon.”
“Oh. My. God! Pack my coats, the snow leop—”
My words were cut off as darkness swallowed me whole, chewed me up, and spat me into Neath. I hung limp and silent, dangling over Idris’ back.
“Finally,” he muttered. “Peace.”
A flicker of anger sparked amongst the raging nausea, threatening to spill a stomach full of tea down Idris’ back.
“If I put you down, are you going to run away or actually listen to me?”
When I didn’t dare risk opening my mouth with a retort, he seemed to take it as cooperation, or maybe just my defeat. Bowing forward, he lowered me to the ground with a gentleness that contrasted sharply with the fact that he’d just kidnapped me.
I slumped in the grass, panting. Each breath filled my lungs with the sweetest, purest air I’d ever tasted. It seeped through my body, clearing the fog from my mind and lending strength to my limbs.
Above me, a star-speckled sky peeped through a familiar canopy of dark leaves, and the distant roar of a waterfall mingled with the whispering breeze and a forlorn hoot of an owl.
The nausea subsided, and I scrambled to my feet, baring my teeth. Somewhere beneath my rage, I registered that I had to look slightly ridiculous, barefoot in a wood, squaring up to a powerful male while wearing nothing but an oversized tee, patterned with pink and cream stripes.
Idris lifted his hands in surrender, retreating a step. “I had no choice. Please don’t set me on fire. ”
“ You ,” I spat, searching for the right words to convey my fury. “You—you…”
He smirked. “I love you. Even when you’re a flaming ball of rage, or as stubborn as a dragon. My track record is against me, but I try not to let the people I love die. I couldn’t leave you there.”
All my anger evaporated at the thought of Taryn dying, and Idris being powerless to prevent it. Heaviness replaced it, and misery swirled with a healthy dose of guilt. I hadn’t meant to almost die, but I hadn’t exactly tried to save myself. Neither had I stopped to consider the effect that would have on other people. On Mum and Dad. On Idris, who had already lost so much.
“I wish you’d stop saying that.”
Idris’ chest heaved and he bowed his head, taking a step closer. “Forgive me, Aliza. I was wrong.”
Well, that was probably true, about a lot of things. I narrowed my eyes. “Wrong about what, exactly?”
“Everything. I thought I was doing the right thing in letting you go.” He lifted his eyes to mine. “Believe me, the last thing I wanted was to hurt you. You are… you are everything to me. I only wanted you to be happy, and when I saw how easily you stepped into your role…”
“It wasn’t easy, Idris. Nothing has been easy since the first day I crossed that rift.”
He blinked at my admission, as though he’d never considered such a possibility. A beat of silence followed before he said, “I know that now. I also know that I can’t give you up.” His voice came out as hoarse as mine. “I’ve tried twice and failed on both counts. I surrender. Fate made me yours, and I am done fighting it. ”
I shook my head. “This has nothing to do with fate.” I didn’t believe in that nonsense, did I?
“Of course it does. You’re the Human Queen. They’ve talked of your coming for millennia. It makes perfect sense that you’d be paired to the heir of Queen Claudia’s bloodline.”
I shook my head wildly, setting my greasy hair swaying. “That’s not you. You refused the crown.”
Idris gave a cold laugh, dropping his hand. “It’s not what I wanted, not what I would have chosen, and it won’t be easy, but I’ll take it. I’ll take my place if it means you’re at my side.”
Take his… what? Did he mean what I thought he meant? I cocked my eyebrow. “You’d accept being king?”
“If it’s what it takes. If it’s what you want.”
If only he’d come to this conclusion a week ago. Now, I wasn’t at all sure what I wanted. “What do you want, Idris?”
“You. There’s nothing in the land of the living I want, except you. That’s all I know, and all that matters.”
Could I believe him? Did I still want to? “I don’t—I need…” I coughed, clearing my throat. “This is too much.”
Idris stayed silent, waiting. I stared at him in all his forlorn beauty. From the first day I’d met him, I hadn’t been able to look away. Even when I’d been wooed by Anwir, it had been Idris who had drawn my gaze. I’d thought it was only because of the animosity that rolled off him in waves. When I’d found him sketching in the woods, or lounging in a forgotten corner of the castle, I’d thought it was a coincidence. If fate was twisting every aspect of my life to its own purpose, was there any such thing as coincidence? Or even free will? When he’d followed me to the lake, skated with me, had it been because he wanted to, or because some mysterious force strung him along like a puppet?
Was it only because some ancient prophet had decided our destinies for us?
I pressed a trembling hand to my cheek. “I don’t know what to say.”
My brain had stalled, a crashed computer, refusing to respond. I was a spinning blue circle, loading but never getting anywhere.
Idris gave me a smile so sad it cracked my heart. “Then say nothing. I’m well aware that’s all I deserve.”
Part of me wanted to tell him that wasn’t true, but another, equal part agreed with him. Both sides warred, neither coming out the victor.
“Rhewlif Palace is being rebuilt,” Idris said conversationally, as though he hadn’t just bared his soul and got nothing in return. “The ice wielders have been working on it for days. And we won Tir o Gwanwyn.”
“We… what?” My brows crumpled. My head ached. I’d misheard.
“Tir o Gwanwyn. We attacked and won. This morning, in fact. It’s ours now. The people are safe. That’s how I got my new scar.”
He lifted the hem of his rumpled shirt, and despite myself, I sucked in a ragged gasp. An ugly dark line, as thick as my finger, slashed diagonally from his waist to below his belly button, cutting through those god-like abs. Whatever had happened, it had to have almost killed him. He’d proven himself to be as skilled with a sword as he was with a pencil. How could he have been seriously hurt?
He dropped his hem, hiding the brutal mark. I realised my mouth was hanging open and snapped it shut.
“Anwir’s pleased. I think he’s planning to throw another ball. ”
“Another ball? For god’s sake, hasn’t he got anything better to do?”
“My brother is fond of parties. Oh, and the coven arrived in Tir o Gaeaf a few days ago. They’re helping to strengthen the wards over both kingdoms. I saw your friend. She asked about you.”
I looked around the tranquil wood. We were close to the Blood Gate. “Why haven’t you taken me to the coven?”
“I said you could go as far from me as you pleased. I meant it. This is the first place I thought of, but tell me where you want to go, and I’ll take you, and then I’ll… I’ll go. I’m going back to Tir o Gwanwyn tonight, but I’ll probably return to Tir o Gaeaf soon. They’re still rebuilding, they need help.”
My guts tightened. This was it. I had a decision to make, but my magic-starved brain was still reeling. My heart had whiplash. I needed space, and time to think. I wouldn’t be able to do that with Idris nearby.
“Nairsgarth. Take me to Nairsgarth.”
It was warded, all but empty, and as close to a home as I had this side of the rift.
Despite his promises, Idris’ face crumpled with disappointment. I ignored the roar of guilt as he stepped closer, offering his hand. I gritted my teeth and took it, letting him lead me for what could be the final time.