Chapter 20 Helayna
HELAYNA
Two large black SUVs waited in front of the house for our trip to Reykjavík.
I wasn’t sure how long we’d be there, so Lokken had helped us all pack a few clothes to take with us.
Though Clara assured that Kathleen’s team had been working around the clock since they’d left and had many more items waiting for us.
Pàtair was coming to supervise the staff in the old Ironheart court, along with Arnar and two young women I hadn’t met yet.
Evidently the security team doubled as drivers.
Even Bj?rg wanted to go with us. On my lap, she stared out the darkened windows, her eyes bright with curiosity.
None of my Blood had wanted to ride in the other vehicle, which meant Gunnarr was crammed into the back row with Myrk and Svar.
Dorr and Clara sat in the middle with me, and Lokken rode in the front with the driver.
“It’s not quite three hours to Reykjavík,” Clara said. “It’ll be dark before we get there, but the city has a vibrant nightlife if there’s anything you’d like to do before we reach the house.”
“Nightlife?” Laughing, I shook my head. “I’m not sure what that even means. Should we have left earlier in the day so it’s not dark before we get there?”
“Not at all. Both Geir and Jóvin are perfectly comfortable driving at any time of the day or night. By nightlife, I mean there are many places we could go for entertainment or music if you’d like to explore.”
“We could walk down Laugavegur,” Gunnarr said. “There are neon lights everywhere. Loud music, dancing, bars, and of course all sorts of restaurants.”
Myrk let out a sour grumble. “I thought you were a loner.”
“Oh, I am, for the most part,” Gunnarr replied. “But after a few decades roaming around on the ice, it’s nice to come in for more interesting food than raw fish and seal.”
“I do enjoy an occasional beer,” Lokken admitted, turning to look back at us. “Authentic Scandinavian beers have been difficult for me to find in the States.”
“Does it taste like pizza?” Svar asked. “Because if so, then I’d definitely like to try it at least once.”
“People often drink beer with pizza, but they taste nothing alike,” Lokken said.
“Duuuude.” I couldn’t see Gunnarr without climbing up on Dorr’s lap to look back over the seat, but it sounded like he was bouncing with anticipation. “Beer and pizza together are incomparable. One of humanity’s greatest achievements.”
I stroked Bj?rg, trying to imagine walking into a store or establishment frequented by humans. “Is that something I would have done before?”
“Not in Minnesota,” Clara admitted. “I can’t speak to your life in Norway.
Some queens love to walk the busy streets among humans and see if they draw attention.
I just meant you don’t have to avoid being around humans, if that’s something you’re worried about.
The Reykjavík house is in a populated area, though gardens and trees surround the property to provide additional privacy. ”
Even shifted, my dark alfar looked unusual enough they might be uncomfortable among humans if people stared or were scared. All my Blood would certainly stick out in a crowd. Lokken was almost as tall as Dorr, both nearly seven feet tall.
“Let them stare, my queen,” Dorr said. “If you’d like to experience nightlife beer, then we shall make it so.”
“I’ll think about it. I love Iceland so far, especially the views of the mountains and ocean, but I’m not sure I’m ready to walk the streets with humans.”
“There are some lovely places we can stop along the way,” Clara said.
“There shouldn’t be too many tourists this time of year, though the more popular locations will always have some visitors.
Iceland has the most unusual and breathtaking scenery in the entire world.
Glaciers, volcanoes, ice caves, steaming blue lagoons, towering waterfalls, black sand beaches.
You’ve barely had a chance to see any of it.
In a few months, everything will be gloriously green and lush.
The fields will be filled with wildflowers, sheep, and horses.
But as the days get longer, we will see more tourists. ”
“I’m still struggling to understand why Mother left such a beautiful homeland to live in a tiny cabin in Minnesota. Did she fear something here?”
Clara shrugged, shaking her head. “She never mentioned anything specific to me. She was secretive but I didn’t get the impression she was afraid of anything.
She didn’t want humans or Aima around, but then she stunned me by accepting a sibling arrangement with House Skye.
I wasn’t even aware she’d been in contact with their queen.
Usually the consiliari would have worked through the agreement first and then simply provided the contracts to their queens for signatures.
Instead, she handed me a signed copy and told me to file it. ”
“What about when she decided to foster me with House Fólkvangr?”
“It was the same. I had no idea until it was decided.” Clara hesitated for a moment and then sighed heavily. “I honestly thought she didn’t trust me any longer. I begged her to dismiss me and bring in a new consiliarius, but she refused.”
“But why wouldn’t she trust you?”
“I wondered… Well. I wondered if she was jealous of your power, my queen. She wasn’t able to heal me—but you brought me back from death itself.
We had a special bond even before my illness.
Again, mostly from her doing. She left you and Eivind in my care.
She was gone for days and weeks at a time without a word.
She made agreements with other houses without any council or guidance, yet never willingly took the Ironheart throne. ”
I tried not to let how much I hurt show on my face or leak through my bonds, but Dorr lifted my hand to his mouth. He kissed my knuckles and curled his forearm around mine, holding me close. “Maybe it was me she didn’t trust.”
“You were a child,” Clara said firmly. “She had no reason to distrust you. She loved you.”
“Did she?” I bit my lip, wishing I could take the words back. I didn’t like the vulnerable ache in my quivering voice. “How would I know?”
“She was miserable each time you left for Norway. She hated to send you away. There must have been a reason. When you came back each year around Samhain for a visit, she seemed more… desperate. As if time was running out. Though she never spoke of it to me.”
“If I don’t find answers in Reykjavík then perhaps I need to go to House Fólkvangr.”
“I agree. Queen Illa will at least be able to tell us what your mother’s goal was for fostering you in Norway. Shall I contact her consiliarius now?”
“No. Let’s see what I find in Reykjavík first.”
We drove in silence for a few minutes. I stared out the window without really seeing the countryside at all.
My mind tumbled from one thought to the next, a windmill of anxiety and sadness.
The wistfulness of a child who yearned for her mother’s love despite being grown.
Anger and frustration. Even if Helle had a reason for keeping my past and why she’d sent me away a secret, I had to believe there could’ve been a better way for her to handle whatever situation she’d been trying to shield me from. If that had even been her goal.
A letter. A journal. Something left to me in the case of her death.
“Forgive me if this is an inappropriate question,” Lokken said, drawing my gaze away from the window. “But are you sure your mother is dead?”
My gaze jerked to Clara, instantaneous hope quickly dissipating by the solemnity in her eyes. She gravely nodded. “She’s most definitely dead. I cremated her remains myself.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
“Of course, though I didn’t notice anything remarkable about her passing at the time.
It was shortly after we heard of your disappearance.
Queen Illa called us personally to beg for forgiveness.
There had been a terrible landslide above the fjord, Tafjorden.
Tsunami waves had devastated the area. Her household had immediately gone down to help save as many villagers as possible, and in the chaos, you disappeared.
There hadn’t been any sign of a struggle, and you hadn’t been caught in the landslide itself.
She could only assume the incident had been deliberately caused to lure you out of the protection of the blood circle.
“As she listened, your mother… wilted. It was like the spark had blown out of her by an ill wind I couldn’t see or feel. Queen Illa assured us she would continue searching for you, but Helle said not to bother. You were no longer on this side of Yggdrasil.”
“She knew,” I whispered, shaking my head. “Even without any sign being left behind. How?”
“I don’t know, but it was like her greatest fear had come true.
She simply gave up. I tried to console her, the same as Queen Illa.
We would search. We would find you. She refused to listen.
She retired to her bedchamber and never left it alive.
I couldn’t get her to eat or rise from her bed.
I begged her to Call her Blood. Use her magic.
Something. Anything. But she stopped responding to my voice. ”
“Where was Narve?”
“In the basement, or so I thought. But when she was so weak, I went down to release him, even if she was furious later. I hoped he could jar her from the deep melancholy engulfing her. But the chains were empty. He was gone.”
“So he could have freed himself at any time,” I said slowly.
She nodded. “Apparently. When she passed without ever opening her eyes again, I destroyed her body on a small pyre under the stars and prayed for your safe return.”
“When I disappeared, she must have known Loki was responsible. Where he would take me. She had no hope I’d ever escape Jormungandr.”
Dorr lifted my hand to his mouth again. “She did not know you at all, my queen.”
I started to turn toward him, but something flashed in the grim-looking cliffs above the road. All the colors of the rainbow, sparkling against the dark rock. “Did you see that?”
“No, what?” Clara turned to look out the window. “I believe we’re near Skogafoss, if you’d like to see it. It’s one of the most popular waterfalls in Iceland.”
Bj?rg yipped, her eyes sparkling, her fluffy tail swishing against my thighs. She’d seen it too. “Yes. I think I would.”
“Geir, Her Majesty would like to see Skogafoss. Can you notify the other car we’re making a detour?”
“At once, Your Majesty.”