Chapter 11
Y ulianna
Ella smiled at me in the mirror as I smoothed my dress down.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
She’d been sweet enough to help me put my hair into a sweeping up-do. Turning to face Ella, I grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug. We’d grown so close since I arrived, and she felt like a sister. We had so much in common outside of where we were born, and I’d spent a great deal of time sitting and sketching with her while music played softly.
What was that for?
Just because you’re amazing and I love you.
She smiled wide, her eyes shining with happiness.
I love you, too.
The knock at the door stopped our sappy moment, but it was just as well, or my makeup would turn from a masterpiece to a disaster. I signed that someone was at the door, and she ran over before I could stop her. Ella whipped it open like she was presenting me to a crowd. Eddie looked confused but stepped inside. When we locked eyes, my heart beat out of rhythm, and my stomach somersaulted.
He looked incredible in the tailored black suit, his hair perfectly styled, and an arm full of flowers. Ella was behind Eddie, bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement while I stood there stunned. I shouldn’t be. I’d seen him in a suit a million times, but tonight was different. He looked different.
“Not even Venus compares to you, Ana. Even if my eyes only feast on you for the rest of eternity they will never grow weary of the sight,” Eddie said softly.
He traced my cheek with the back of his knuckles. My pulse was thready, and I felt lightheaded. I’d never known anyone to have a connection like we had.
“Eddie, you set me on too high of a pedestal. I worry for the day I fall, and you no longer see me as this flawless, goddess-like being. I am far from perfect.”
The corner of his mouth tugged up in his patented smirk that always said he knew more than the rest of the world or, in this case, me. Yet, I never felt like he was looking down on me. That was a talent all on its own.
“You’re perfect for me, Ana,” he said, brushing his lips against mine.
Forgetting that he was holding flowers, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him hard. As I clung to him, I poured every ounce of love there was inside of me into the kiss, never wanting this moment to end. His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me tight against his body. We were one soul divided into two bodies and were only whole when together again.
“Why are you crying, anima mia ?”
Eddie licked my tears from his lips.
“I’m just so happy.”
“I hate to see you cry…even when you’re happy.” Eddie gently wiped my cheek and the evidence away with his finger.
“Can we just stay in? Just stay here and hide from the world forever.”
“Do you really want to stay in?”
I really did. As much as going out on a normal date sounded like fun, I also just wanted to say curled up in our little corner of the world.
“Would you hate me if I said yes?”
“I could never hate you, and I don’t care if we go out. I can have the food delivered.”
Ella stepped into my line of sight, getting my attention she began to sign.
I am heading to visit my parents for the night.
You don’t have to do that.
Ella smiled, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of us.
I want to do it. I was going home in the morning anyway. This way you have privacy all night.
She winked, making me blush. Walking over to the bed Ella grabbed her bag, loading it with her sketch pads and books before putting on her jacket. Walking over, I gave her a tight hug.
Thank you.
You’re welcome, and I want all the details when I get back.
Ella smiled at me, then waved to Eddie before heading out and closing the door. The room turned quiet with a heaviness in the air.
“Here, let me take these. I love lilies.”
Taking the flowers from Eddie, I went over to my nightstand and picked up the vase that I’d kept from the last bouquet he had gotten me. I was so spoiled.
“I know. I remember everything you tell me,” he said.
I didn’t think I could blush any harder, but Eddie managed it.
“You are so different, Eddie. I’ve never known a man like you,” I said, walking into the bathroom to get water.
“How so?”
“I know you would do anything necessary to get ahead, and yet there is such kindness and generosity in you. Take these flowers, I don’t think for all my father’s money that I’ve ever seen him give my mother a flower in my entire life.”
“Does that mean you want me to stop?”
I chuckled.
“Don’t be silly, of course not. I just find you…I guess I wish more men were like you and less like my father. He’s ruthless, stubborn, and, at times, cruel. People are nothing more than a number and a means to get whatever he wants. I’ve seen him in action and he doesn’t care about how an order will affect their lives or others. Not even if they were to die. It’s a selfish mentality and no matter what he has, he hungers for more like it is an addiction. I realize now that he’ll never change and I need to accept that my father is not the man I wish he was.”
Placing the bouquet in the vase, I pulled the ribbon that kept them together and fluffed the flowers out. The bright orange and pinks looked like they were arranged to mimic a sunrise.
Turning, I stopped and nibbled my bottom lip as I stared at Eddie. He’d taken off his jacket, and the top buttons on his dress shirt were open, but it was the rolled-up sleeves showing off his defined, tattooed arms that had me drooling. He leaned casually against the doorway, and my brain couldn’t form a single word.
“I hate that he treats you like that, Ana. One day, you’ll be free of the tyranny,” he said, but I still couldn’t seem to make my mouth work other than to lick my lips.
Eddie smirked and plucked the flowers from my hands. I followed him on autopilot out to the sitting area, where he sat the vase on the corner of my desk.
“I’ll order us food, and then I want to talk to you about something,” Eddie said.
Sheer panic gripped my throat. I knew Eddie loved me, but his serious tone made my heart race and my mind spin.
Trying to keep the terror off my face, I grabbed us each a water from the small fridge and sat down at the table. Eddie ordered what sounded like enough food for ten people and said he’d meet the driver at the gate. He hung up and sat down beside me, placing his hand on top of mine. I swallowed hard as his eyes scanned my face.
“Just say it. Whatever it is, just say it,” I said, steeling myself for the blow. What if fighting for me was just too much and he was throwing in the towel? What if….
“Marcus had an idea...and it’s a horrible one. But...I feel like I need to mention it.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding and scolded myself for worrying. I really should know better when it came to Eddie.
“Okay, I’m open to ideas, as long as it’s not like his last suggestion for us all to dance naked in the foyer,” I said.
Eddie chuckled and then sighed and looked down at his fingers, slowly doodling on the back of my hand.
“No, there is no dancing in this idea.”
It was rare to see Eddie unsure of anything. He was always the one dragging me out of the terror tornado. Reaching out, I placed my other hand on top of his, forcing him to look at me.
“Just say it.”
“I’m worried what you’ll think of me for bringing this up.”
“Eddie, please. This is me. If you trust me as much as I trust you then just say the words, I will never think ill of you.”
“I told Marcus that we were worried your father wouldn’t approve a marriage between us,” he said.
“Okay, and what was his idea?”
“He said….” Eddie shook his head and then burst from his seat to walk to the window. “Forget it, I can’t.”
Following him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled his back. The world felt right when I was holding Eddie.
“Please tell me. I won’t be angry.”
Eddie turned in my arms and gripped my hips, sending fireworks throughout my body. We’d spent so much time apart, separated by thousands of miles. The last month had been magical, and every second fed into the dream of our future together. His grey eyes captivated me, and I knew without a doubt that he was the only man I would ever love. Distance couldn’t break us, and time held no meaning. We were simply destined to be together.
“He said that we should consider getting you pregnant.”
Eddie’s voice was soft, and his eyes were filled with shame, but...
“Oh my god….”
“I know, Ana. I’m so sorry. I never should’ve brought it up,” he said, and I shook my head.
“No, that’s brilliant. How did we not think of that? It’s so simple.”
“What?”
I tapped my chin and paced as I thought through the potential outcomes of such a scheme. We were a little younger than I’d pictured. But did it really matter when we planned to marry and spend our lives together? We needed to force my father’s hand and make him agree. This accomplished that.
“My father is all about tradition, but the one thing he values more is his reputation. If word gets out that his daughter is pregnant out of wedlock, he’ll be humiliated.”
“I’m not sure humiliating your father is the way to go here,” Eddie said, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“But it is. If we do this, then he’ll force a wedding. Paperwork will be signed, and we’ll be married within days. Yes, he’ll be furious at first, but he’ll get over it. He may even respect it as a power play.”
Eddie sat down on my bed and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees.
“I don’t know, Ana. This doesn’t feel right.”
I knelt in front of him and cupped his face.
“Do you not want me or...children?”
His eyes flared with an instant heat that stopped my next breath.
“Of course I do. I want a life with you, including kids, but…this…feels dirty in an underhanded way that I’m not sure I’m comfortable with.”
“If this is about deceiving my father, then you should know he wouldn’t think twice about doing it to you if given a chance, and it served his purpose.”
Eddie caressed my arms until he got to my hands and then held them.
“Yes, my hesitation is partially about the repercussions and your father’s wrath, but more than that…Ana, I don’t want to disrespect you.”
“Me? Eddie…you could never. I want this. I want you, and if that means having children earlier than we may have planned, then I’ll do it.”
“Ana, that is no reason to have children, and I don’t want our child to ever feel they were conceived as a power play move and not out of love.”
My anger was all-consuming. I stood up and marched across the room before spinning back to face Eddie. I detested this feeling. Forced to make these kinds of decisions because of my father and this stupid world we were born to rule. And for once, I hated that Eddie was so noble.
“Of course our child would still be conceived in love, we love one another, don’t we? I don’t understand how can you say that making a move to ensure we are together isn’t a good reason?”
My dress flowed out behind me like I was running as I stomped around my room. I wanted to run. I wanted to run from this life and the cage I’d occupied since the day of my birth.
“Eddie…if I don’t have you, then I may as well not have a life at all.”
He stood in my way, and I wanted to hit him and tell him just to take me already—make me his.
“You don’t mean that you could never do such a thing. With or without me, you are a force in this world, Ana.”
Tears poured down my cheeks and quickly turned into sobs as he wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. I gripped the front of his shirt, desperate to hold onto him. It might have just been my fear taking over, but I had a horrible feeling my father would never let us be together. He was determined to control me and, for some reason, hated to see me happy.
“Shh, Ana, I’ll never let you go. Not ever.”
“I don’t want to hope that he does the right thing. I want to know that this is a done deal.”
Eddie tipped my head up, and maybe it was a flash of the future or just a deep-rooted knowledge, but I saw him as a Don of Dons. He had what it took to lead and lead well. He would accomplish everything he said he would. So why didn’t I feel hopeful that I’d be part of that life? Of his life?
“I’ll approach your father right after I graduate. He can tell me what he wants.”
“You think that will work?”
He nibbled his lip. “I won’t lie to you, Ana. It’s a gamble, like anything else. He could easily say no and that’s that. But I have a feeling he’ll entertain my proposal if I can prove that I’ll be a valuable asset to him, your family, and his entire organization. Like you said, he cares about his business first, and that works to our benefit.”
“What if he has someone else in mind?”
“Then I’ll offer double whatever the other person offers. Ana, I love you, and there is nothing that I won’t do for you. I want a family with you, but running headfirst into this decision feels wrong. We can’t start our life with fear, and my gut tells me that we need to approach your father from a place of respect and power. For all we know he will still force us apart and put you and our baby somewhere that I’d never see you again.”
I buried my head in Eddie’s chest as his hands comfortingly rubbed my back. There was a weight on my chest making it hard to breathe. No matter how hard I tried to shake the feeling, it felt like I wore a locked collar around my neck. A collar that only my father held the key to my freedom.
“I’m in no position to storm Russia and wage a war with the entire Mikhailov family to get you back. Please don’t doubt that I’d do it and happily die trying, but what I really want is for us to avoid all of that. I’d rather make a deal that he’s happy with so we are able to live our lives free of the fear and bloodshed.”
I looked up at him and knew deep down that he was right about all of it and yet part of me wanted to be selfish and take the plan regardless. Terror clawed at the back of my mind and was pushing me to be irrational.
“Then why even bring this to me if you won’t entertain it? I want this.”
Eddie’s eyes softened, and the warmth in them made me want to start crying all over again.
“Because, Ana, I respect your input. This is our life, as in the two of us together. That means we are a partnership and it’s your decision as much as it is mine. If you really want this and feel it is the only way, then I’ll do it, but it’s not what I want. Part of us discussing any topic is knowing where each of us stands.”
Even when he wasn’t trying to be charming, Eddie said the most perfect words. I’d been nothing but a pawn my entire life, but Eddie wanted to make me a queen. But, that also meant the position came with hard decisions. This felt like a fork in the road and I was staring down the long endless walkway in either direction and didn’t know which way to turn.
Closing my eyes, I took a slow breath and tamped down the panic brewing inside of me.
“You’re right. I need to be stronger so we can present a united front. I’m trying to ignore the terror that lives in my chest and the worms of fear eating at my brain like a disease, but Eddie…it’s so difficult. When I picture a life without you…it’s bleak and dark.”
His smile could warm me on the coldest of days, and right on cue, my body heated as he cupped my cheeks and smiled, showing off his sexy dimple.
“Then let me be the port in your storm because I would weather anything this world has to offer to be by your side.”
Eddie made me feel completely unhinged, and yet he was the glue that kept me from shattering into a million little pieces. Before I could start crying again, he kissed me. There was no way to tell who was wilder as our hands roamed over each other’s bodies.
He growled, breaking the kiss and sending a shiver racing down my spine.
“Never doubt how much I want you, Ana. It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have in my body to keep from ripping your dress off and claiming you.”
He kissed me again, and I could feel his desperation as our lips moved and he explored my mouth with his tongue.
He pulled back and touched his forehead to mine. My lips felt sore and swollen but in the best way possible.
“I’m scared of what I’ll do to keep you.”
“I will do anything,” I said, giving his lips a soft kiss. “Anything, Eddie.”
“God, I love you,” he whispered roughly.
“I love you more.”
Eddie’s phone rang, jerking us both out of the intense standoff.
“Hello? Okay, I’ll be right there.”
He hung up and tapped his phone on his leg. Eddie didn’t move and stared into my eyes as if he still had a million things he wanted to say, but then sighed.
“The food is here. I’ll be right back.”
“Wait…how did you get them to deliver all the way out here?”
He smiled and winked.
“I have my ways,” Eddie teased, walking out the door.
After he left, I resumed my earlier pacing. Eddie was my forever, but unlike him, I would play dirty to ensure our life together. I’d learned at a young age that being a woman meant that I needed to be more conniving and cunning than any man. I would let Eddie play his hand for now, but if things didn’t go our way, then all bets were off. I’d meant what I’d said and would do anything to keep him.