Chapter 39
SHARA
Rik hadn’t said a word of disagreement about letting another queen’s Blood into my nest, let alone ten former Soldiers of Light. Nor did he voice a single concern about allowing another queen’s alpha so close to me with only him to protect me.
I had no concerns. Not because I trusted Sunna—but because I had the best alpha. Though I was sure the Sunna alpha would have a different opinion.
Though it wouldn’t hurt to use my resources, as Gina had said earlier, so I’d already asked Gwen to come.
Trying to give Karmen and her Blood some privacy despite the small room, I stayed near the door, which would hopefully relieve any of Rik’s misgivings about my safety as well. When I heard the Sunna consiliarius gasp with relief, I took a long, deep breath and then turned toward the sofa.
She sat beside the alpha, who held Karmen in his lap.
The other two Sunna Blood stood behind them, as silent and wary as any Blood I’d ever seen in another queen’s territory.
Their stiff, braced stance proclaimed their military background, yet their shoulders and arms were loose.
Ready to quickly unsheathe their weapons and race to war.
Pale but awake, Karmen said, “I’m okay.”
Her voice quivered but the lines of weariness and pain bracketing her mouth smoothed out. She shifted more upright against her alpha, as if determined to face me on her feet, even weakened and injured. The proud tip of her chin and the unquenchable flame burning in her eyes made my throat tighten.
She’d been through so much. I didn’t have to know her full story to understand she’d lived through a golden hell of misery for possibly centuries. I’d barely endured a few moments of Ra’s foul presence, yet the experience had marked me forever.
Keeping my voice light, I stepped closer to them.
“Ah, perfect timing. Welcome to my nest, Karmen. I’m so glad you’re awake and feeling better.
Would it be alright for my friend, Dr. Mala Borcht, to examine you?
She’s a human doctor but she’s studied our kind extensively and has helped me tremendously over these past few months as I adjust to this new life. ”
Karmen didn’t smile or relax her guard—not that I expected her to. “New life?”
She really didn’t know me at all. Other than Helayna, I wasn’t sure she’d even met another queen, let alone dealt much with court politics. The first time I met another queen, I’d been a nervous wreck.
Until Keisha Skye’s geas attacked as I tried to cross into Mayte’s nest.
Rik moved a simple chair closer to the couch so I could sit and talk comfortably. “I’m new to this life as an Aima queen. In fact, I’ve only known what I am since right before Christmas.”
“I’m new to this life too.”
I imagined all the trauma and confusion she must be dealing with.
At least I’d had Blood who understood what we were and could guide me to Gina and coach me on how to set up a nest of my own.
What could former humans and soldiers teach her about being a vampire queen?
Did she have a relationship with her goddess?
Had her mother been able to teach her anything?
Which only made me remember those early days of struggle. She must have seen the flicker of emotion on my face or read the darkness in my eyes. She sat up and turned more fully toward me, searching my face yet still guarded.
Honesty and vulnerability between Aima queens were rare, but I couldn’t expect her to trust me with her secrets if I didn’t divulge mine. “In fact, I didn’t even know how to feed myself. For days, I struggled because I didn’t have fangs. The hunger was merciless, which only made everything worse.”
Rik made a low rumble in our bond. :You may regret those early days, but I’ll always treasure the times you needed a little help.:
I reached up and wrapped my fingers around his hand on my shoulder. :My only regret is I didn’t ask you for help more often.:
:You wouldn’t need a little help right now, would you?:
I bit back a laugh. :I wouldn’t want to shock our guests, but later, most definitely.:
Though it did make me think about Karmen’s situation. I assumed she knew how to feed herself, but what if she didn’t have a clue?
Picking up on my thoughts, Guillaume added, :Given the questions I’m getting from her Blood, she may need help but be too proud to ask, my queen.:
I decided to indirectly broach the subject and give her the opportunity to ask any questions. “If you need to feed, please do so. I’ll give you privacy if that would make you more comfortable. Feeding is the best way to regain your strength after losing so much blood.”
“Is it impolite to feed in front of others?”
“Not at all. It’s entirely up to your personal preference.
I wouldn’t bite one of my Blood in front of you unless it was an emergency, but I wouldn’t hesitate to feed if I needed to.
” The barest hint of confusion flickered in her eyes, so I added, “My bite is orgasmic. I’d rather not put on such a display in front of another queen, unless we were romantically involved.
Even then, I would hesitate to involve my Blood. ”
Her expression didn’t change but she took a deep breath. “Oh. That’s a lot to take in at once. Now I have even more questions.”
I bet. I laughed softly. “Then it’s my pleasure to answer them. But first, I do hope you’ll feed. Your cheeks are still pale, and your eyes are hollowed. I can tell you more while you feed.”
Her alpha pressed his wrist to her mouth without hesitation.
Her eyelids fluttered closed, her throat working as she swallowed deeply.
I couldn’t smell the blood, but watching her feed stirred my hunger enough my voice turned husky.
“I was raised as a human. I had no idea that we were different, though monsters were always trying to break into the house where we lived in Kansas City.
We never went out after dark, and we lived a very quiet, reclusive life.
Dad died when I was young, killed by those monsters in the street.
Then Mom died in nearly the same spot outside our house, and I went on the run for five years.
Constantly moving, hiding, running from the monsters who always followed me.
“Until a few short months ago, the monsters ran me down a few miles away from here and surrounded me. I thought that was the end, until Rik came to my rescue.”
I tipped my head back against him, rubbing back and forth slightly.
“My alpha, Alrik. He took me to Kansas City where I was able to reconnect with my consiliarius, Gina. They had to teach me about everything. Feeding, other queens, how the Triune works, and of course, I’m still learning.
But if I can help answer any questions you have, I’m at your disposal. ”
I paused for a moment, waiting a few breaths to see if she had anything to ask me now.
When she continued to feed, I changed the subject to Dr. Borcht in the hope that sharing some of my experiences with Karmen would make her more comfortable with a human doctor.
“Dr. Borcht has been helping me with my menstrual cycles since I stepped into my power. My periods are very regular every month and extremely heavy. Now, I know the monsters were tracking the scent of my blood. Since I’ve taken my Blood, my cycles have been even heavier.
We’ve been experimenting with human medications to help calm my hormones down, but they’ve honestly not been very effective. ”
Karmen licked her punctures closed and raised her narrowed gaze to mine.
“I only bled once in Heliopolis. I don’t know how old I was.
But that’s when Ra decided I had come of age.
I never bled again.” Her voice remained flat and emotionless, but her mouth twisted into a grimace, and she shrugged like the horrors she’d admitted to enduring were no big deal. “Until now.”
Guarded and braced for my reaction, she stared back at me, her chin lifting in defiance.
My heart broke for her, both the woman she was now, and the child who’d endured so much. Without anyone to even comfort her. Ever.
In a place of eternal burning sunshine, she’d found a way to keep herself frozen, cold, and untouched. Simply to survive.
I fought the urge to reach out to her, offering a hug or a shoulder. But after so much trauma, even a simple innocent touch might be triggering to her. Instead, I simply waited for her to guide me, keeping my face open and soft, my understanding and compassion hopefully shining in my eyes.
“I refuse to spare any more tears for that monster.” Despite her words, tears pooled in her eyes. A crack of emotion made her shoulders shake with another deep breath. “I was pregnant with Ra’s heir. A solar queen. His heart’s desire.”
Her alpha wrapped his arms tighter around her, but she shivered harder as if re-living those moments all over again.
I stood and quickly retrieved a decorative blanket to tuck around her.
Warmth. Comfort. Safety. These I could provide for her, though I wished I could do more.
I hadn’t known what Ra did to queens until Vivian had come to me.
I might have been able to free Karmen a few days quicker, but I’d needed time to gather all the information from Isis’ legacy to even know how I might be able to defeat him.
In the scope of hundreds of years, a day or two longer of torment probably wouldn’t have made much difference, but I couldn’t help but wonder.
What if I’d immediately gone to Heliopolis?
If I could have spared her even one rape, it would have been worth it.
Though we both may have died if I’d rushed to Heliopolis.